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What can a misshapen carrot teach us about the standards we set for ourselves as people with borderline personality disorder?
I recently wrote about 15 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Better After a Bad Day, and I want to expand upon this topic to talk about how we can all feel better in our day-to-day lives. One thing that really stresses me out is clutter. Just the sight of clutter - piles of paper and knick-knacks - makes my body tense up and my mind worry. So I finally decided to do something about it.
"If you drink too much caffeine your head will explode," my son said today. I reassured him that while too much caffeine isn't healthy, heads don't explode from overindulgence. Explaining the irrational nature of his fears puts my son's mind at ease. But what if he had Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder? Maggie, our guest on the HealthyPlace Mental Health Radio Show, says Exposure Therapy is far more effective treatment for OCD than explanations and reassurance.
There's a lot about anxiety that I don't know, but I do know that no matter what variety you're dealing with, it's tough. I can't afford to just sit around and let the waves roll in, no matter how much that might seem like a good idea sometimes.
There are people who think loneliness and children with psychiatric illness go hand in hand in a vicious circle--a child's illness causes him to withdraw; his withdrawal causes society to retreat from him even further. There are others who define themselves as introverts and insist they are not "mentally ill," they are "just" introverts. Which came first--the introverted chicken, or the mentally ill egg?
Vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) is exactly what it sounds like--stimulation of the vagus nerve in your neck. Stimulation takes place by using electrical impulses (a nice way of saying shocks). When the vagus nerve is stimulated, that stimulation is then carried to various other parts of the nervous system and this is what is thought to be its method of action. This stimulation may alter neurotransmitters like norepinephrine and GABA. OK, I know, that’s complicated. In short, they zap a nerve in your neck and that’s carried to the brain where it does stuff.
When I was first diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, I did what I always do when faced with something I have no idea how to handle: I went to the library. As a rule, I don't read autobiographical accounts of DID but I voraciously digested everything else I could get my hands on. Most of the literature agreed on the basics of Dissociative Identity Disorder treatment, including the consistent message that establishing internal communication is an essential first step, second only to stabilization. "Ask inside" quickly became the most irritating, eye-roll inducing directive I heard. I hated it for one reason: it didn't work.
It seems to me that navigating life with a mental illness is a full-time occupation. Not only that, it can feel awfully futile at times - like Sisyphus ceaselessly rolling his rock up a mountain only to watch it tumble back down again. Employed or not, the 2 million plus Americans with bipolar disorder are certainly working. Marked by shifts between dramatically high and low moods, bipolar disorder is a serious psychiatric condition that can be fatal, particularly during depressive episodes. I suspect that managing the symptoms of bipolar disorder is a job in and of itself.
You woke up this morning with dread in your heart—you slept in and were late for a meeting with your boss. When you arrived to your meeting, you started wishing you never had; this so-called meeting turned out to be a nice way to tell you that the company you have busted your derriere over for the past 2 years is doing some ‘corporate restructuring’ and you will be out of a job at month’s end. On the way home, the weather reflects your stormy disposition and you end up getting soaked in the torrential downpour in your nice new suit and splashed by an obnoxious driver.
October is one of our household's more hectic months. My biggest time consumers are Bob's birthday and Halloween (our favorite holiday). My birthday gets thrown in there somewhere (I refuse to cop to when or which one it is). There are about umpteen school "holidays" when the kids are home. And, of course, there's that day that strikes fear in the hearts of parents and children alike... Parent/Teacher Conference Day.

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Comments

Elizabeth Caudy
Hi, boo-- Thanks for your comment. I am 100% certain I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been diagnosed with this for decades. Also, you're right, gaining weight isn't the end of the world, and I work very hard to unlearn my fat phobia. Being a feminist helps with that. Lastly, I am not ableist. Elizabeth.
Pam
Thank you for this. If it helps my daughter I feel blessed. Thank you for sharing your emotions thru poetry.
Mike
Our daughter is 34 and about 1 year ago, something triggered her schizophrenia. She has withdrawn from everyone in her family and most of the world. She has blocked anyone on her phone that she thinks is a threat. Now; not paying her rent or bills and has shut out the landlord who is a friend and wants to help but with no luck. Now they have no choice put to evict her.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
Bob
I would love your advice. I had been texting someone I met on a dating app, we moved to instagram and talked all day everyday for 2 weeks, she told me about having Bipolar Disorder. When I shared some of my struggles she would reply in the sweetest, understanding ways. We had really good, deep talks and started talking about meeting up. I liked her a lot, I feel like we really connected.

On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.

A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.

A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.

I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...
boo
its because it's probably not schizoaffective or bipolar, it's likely autism and meds are making things worse bc its something to adjust to not "fix". also gaining weight isn't the end of the world, try unlearning your fat phobia and ableism.