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Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior

July 2, 2015 Becky Doyle

Have you ever made a total idiot out of yourself while drunk? Do you want to forgive yourself for embarrassing drunken behavior? Check out these four tips.

Forgiving yourself for embarrassing drunken behavior can be tough. Being drunk is one of the most common reasons behind people embarrassing themselves or being stupid. It’s pretty safe to assume that if you have been drunk, you have embarrassed yourself in some small, minor way. And if you’re an alcoholic, you might have some pretty epic stories of nights that ended in a major embarrassment to you or someone else. In some instances, those stories are laughable and can be shaken off or simply shared in jest. In other situations, these are the ghost and horror stories of our drinking days: embarrassing drunken nights never to be admitted or acknowledged in any way because the shame and embarrassment was too great. Embarrassing drunken stories that fueled me to drink more. If I drank more, it would be easy to forget my shame. It took me a long time to forgive myself for my embarrassing drunken behavior.

Now, as a sober, recovering alcoholic, I don’t have that escape anymore. I still have embarrassing moments and I still remember the most awful nights of my drinking days, but I deal with them differently. This is what I do.

Feeling Embarrassed from Your Drunken Behavior? Let Yourself Swear

Have you ever made a total idiot out of yourself while drunk? Do you want to forgive yourself for embarrassing drunken behavior? Check out these four tips.

If my mind is wandering while walking to my car and I remember a particularly embarrassing drunken moment, I will spontaneously start swearing under my breath. To someone walking next to me, it might be a bit alarming, but for me, it’s an instinctive action that actually makes me feel a little better. Swearing is actually good for you, as proven by a study in the United Kingdom, and helps relieve stress. You can release negative emotions and release emotional pain through swearing, so don’t resist it.

Forgive Yourself for Embarrassing Drunk Behavior by Recognizing Your Shame

Much like with addiction recovery, acknowledging your shame is the first part of accepting and recovering from it. A totally normal human emotion, shame, must be dealt with in order to learn, grow, and move forward from a haunting past.

Don’t Try to Rationalize Embarrassing Drunken Behavior

Alcoholism is not rational. If it were, there would not be so many unanswered questions about the disease of addiction. Therefore, trying to justify or explain your drunken antics is a lost cause. Especially because when active in an addiction, people often behave in ways that do not align with their own moral code. So if you’re dealing with shame, chances are you already know what you did was bad or embarrassing and no level of rational thought will make that go away.

Remember People You Have Forgiven

When all else fails, remember that at some point in your life, someone else had to ask you for forgiveness. How or why did you forgive them?

The highest form of love is forgiveness. The greater the offense, the more love is required to forgive that person. Double the amount of love required when you are forgiving yourself. This may be difficult to do, especially in early sobriety when self-loathing is usually at its peak. If you aren’t able to quickly identify five things you love about yourself, you need to adopt some daily practices to boost our self-esteem.

Shame and embarrassment are good reminders of how our alcoholism shaped our behavior, and not in a good way. But like everything, they are only good in moderation: too much shame hinders us and prevents us from living life fully. Work through the embarrassment to forgive yourself. Only then will the shame of your drunken past begin to fade to a memory devoid of pain.

Creative Commons photo attribution to mloberg.

You can find Becky on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and her website.

APA Reference
Doyle, B. (2015, July 2). Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2023, February 3 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/debunkingaddiction/2015/07/forgiving-yourself-for-embarrassing-drunken-behavior



Author: Becky Doyle

Edward
July, 7 2015 at 12:33 am

Yesterday being drunk I got hysteric and broke my wife's computer. It was like daemon inside me, I could not control myself at all. I understand that it's much worse that just embarrassing behavior. I can't except this fact. I feel so sorry, however I cannot find words to describe how sorry I am. She left at night. I called her hundreds of times, she did not pick up the phone. I feel so measurable. All this is just unbearable. Probably we should split up as I got hysteric not for the first time and I'm afraid not the last one.
How can I find my peace?

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Becky Doyle
July, 30 2015 at 9:50 am

It sounds like you need one on one work with a therapist or in a recovery program like AA, LifeRing, or SMART Recovery. Check out this post which explains the differences between the programs: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/debunkingaddiction/2014/12/what-are-recovery-programs-a…
p.s. they're FREE
She probably just needs space right now. While I cannot say one way or the other whether or not you'll stay together, the best thing you can do for your marriage right now is work on getting sober.

Major Depression
July, 7 2015 at 6:36 am

Forgiving yourself is the key to the ultimate happiness :D

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Becky Doyle
July, 30 2015 at 9:50 am

True true!

Lorain
July, 22 2016 at 8:52 am

I lost my job a little over a month ago due to alcoholism. I never drank at work, but didn't go to work due to my drinking for a week and tried to lie my way out of it. They fired me when I admitted to my supervisor that I was drinking. Anyway, I'm so embarrassed. I work in the community and don't even think anyone know (maybe some or assuming) because I had a DUI about 3 years ago, which in this community, at the time, was published in a local newspaper (any arrests made and why).
I'm beating myself up today. I could've had a job and everything still the same and fine, but instead I had to go and drink and mess up everything. Feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Becky Doyle
July, 27 2016 at 7:25 pm

Itbey, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through a rough spot right now. Give yourself credit for acknowledging the true problem though. Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes or bad choices... but that doesn't make us bad people.

Faith
August, 5 2016 at 9:07 am

It was my ex boyfriend farewell party. He was leaving town. It was my second time I drink.I got so drunk,danced so hard,sang silly songs,pulling my ex boyfriend to dance with me ,I was an embarrassment to my ex boyfriend. .he got so pissed and embarrassed, then dumped me the next 2days because of how I behaved. .I love him :/ but he I really embarrassed him in front of his friends and now he wants nothing to do with me. Its been 4 weeks ago since this happened, I really can't forgive myself about how I embarrassed and humiliated him. I'm so depressed

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Angie
June, 12 2018 at 6:12 pm

If it was only your second time drinking he should understand your a light weight and just forgive you if he really loves you. People make mistakes. I guess he doesn't. Js

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Rudy
November, 9 2018 at 7:26 am

There is nothing worse than intolerace. That guy doesn't deserve you anyway.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

J Smith
November, 22 2018 at 2:02 pm

This might hurt a little, but if your ex bf dumped you over that he was probably planning on leaving anyway. He most likely just siezed the opportunity to leave. He doesn't deserve you, people like that are cowards.

vivek
August, 21 2016 at 11:23 pm

well last night it was my friend's bday party. got horribly drunk. Came back to college in night (I live in college hostel) and after that (according to friends) I had chased girls, shouted their names at the top of my lungs, roamed through the entire campus. GOD i cant even imagine now what i have done last night. Misbehaving with the girls (Not physically) is the part which is eating up my brain now. I am feeling like crying now.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Kira Lesley
September, 2 2016 at 6:52 am

Hi Vivek,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I can understand why you were feeling upset about your behavior while drunk. If this is a pattern for you, engaging in behavior while drinking that makes you feel bad and may negatively affect others, you may want to consider trying moderation or abstinence from alcohol.
As far as the behavior goes though, I just want you to know that while of course this is not good behavior, it seems you are aware of that, which is a much better place to start than thinking you've done nothing wrong! Anyone with an alcohol problem has certainly been in your position, I know I have. It does not sound like you've done any irreparable harm. I hope you can use this as a learning opportunity. Like I said, all of us with drinking problems have engaged in embarrassing behavior while drinking. How you react to them is key.

Kate
September, 4 2016 at 3:59 am

I got terribly drunk last night and told my mom for the first time how i remember when i was young all the terrible things she did to us kids. And then i went to her neighbor's house and told them and all their friends that she beat us and everything. Then i called my brother and told him off. Now i have a heavy heart loaded with embarrassment and shamefulness. The really sad part is that I am 48 years old. I just want to crawl under a rock and hide for the rest of my life. This is terrible. My heart hurts so bad now with guilt. I wish I could take it all back now. I humiliated myself and my mom. I wish I had a drink to forget this but I know others won't forget it. Please keep me in yours prayers. Thank you.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Never Again
September, 14 2017 at 11:32 am

Hi Kate, you posted long ago but how are you doing? I had a similar situation. looking for comfort, Thx

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

cesarinn
March, 25 2019 at 11:47 am

Your post touched me...hope you are doing well...

Liss
September, 4 2016 at 6:00 pm

I get embarrassed every time I drink. I make friends with the world and it isn't very safe. :( i made friends with my cab driver apparently and swapped numbers
.. now he won't stop calling me. He knows where I live and work now. Ugh.

Terry l
September, 6 2016 at 5:23 am

Been dating a guy for five months, got drunk while at a festival. Before that I was very shocked that he screamed at me for asking him to lower the windows in the car and for having him pay for my drink. Ive Never been screamed at. Then he said I embarrassed him and he was ashamed of me. And this is from a guy who had a dui. I'm going to heal and forgive myself. There has to be other men who can forgive.

Dylee
September, 11 2016 at 8:31 pm

I embarrassed my BF last night. I feel so bad too. We had just returned from vacation and started drinking the second we got home. It was around noon on a Saturday. Had a few beers then shots..I don't know how many of either, but before you know it I am in a dark room that I thought was a dungeon, I yelled for him several times. When he didn't arrive I called 911...I honestly had no idea where I was. I had to of blacked out because I woke up with two knots on my head and my body felt like I train hit it. Cops showed up, and I was asleep but I have bruises all over my arms. Well he said that I was very wasted and was calling him names and trying to hit him, that explains the bruises on my arms, from him restraining me. I fell on a car jack and I guess two neighbor lady's came over and I was calling them whores. Omg...I don't even know them. I feel terrible..just terrible. How can I apologize to these woman I dont even know? How will he ever forgive me?

Alexis
September, 18 2016 at 2:58 am

Eh. I got so many moments where I felt such embarrassment! Either I was too loud, obnoxious, hyper, sad, or just having fun!
Read through all the comments- because I guess I was searching for... something I can relate too.. anyway true friends don't care about your sillly sides when your UI ♡ trust me, everyone has their moment's. What you did UI doesn't make you a bad person or should look down upon. :) it's like tiny vacation we take to get away from reality♡°•¤

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Port28
August, 4 2018 at 1:42 am

Thank you for saying that.

Marie
March, 26 2017 at 6:20 am

I'm currently in college and got embarrassingly drunk at a bar about a week ago with friends and other people from college, and I followed a guy around that is not interested in me, and I think I really pissed him off. I was so drunk that I didn't think I was behaving that badly, but according to someone else, I had been way too clingy on him and had followed him all night and shown up while he was talking to other girls. The person also told me that he was uncomfortable and needed me to back off. I'm extremely embarrassed. This is a way I would NEVER behave while sober and usually not even drunk, but I suppose I had a thing for him and made it way too obvious. The worst part is that I have to see him everyday.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Lauren
August, 17 2017 at 4:10 am

Omg this is literally me right now, you can't even imagine how happy your comment made me (not that I feel happy for you obviously, but because I know I'm not the only one). I'm in college too and lately I've been getting a little bit out of control. I had some issues with my ex, who won't leave me alone, and one of my friends. This past week we went to a festival and I got a little too drunk, which led to me confessing my friend that I like this guy, who then turned out to be there too. He came and we talked for a while and it was all good and all until I reached the point where I was literally falling every two seconds and (although I don't remember anything from this time on) apparently I kept hitting on him, which not only freaked my friend out but I'm guessing him too, since we aren't that close and he also has a girlfriend. Now I keep thinking his friends and him must be laughing so badly at me, and thank god I haven't seen them since. For the most part I hope they realise I was way too drunk and obviously wasn't thinking, and I believe if it was the other way around I wouldn't take it seriously, I would laugh it off and if I saw the other person I would say that I know it was alcohol's fault. However, here I am, worrying like hell over it and googling up "how to cope with the stupid things you do when you're drunk". At least I realised two things, I actually like the guy (which kind of sucks) and I need to chill a little bit, for my dignity's sake lol

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

No more
September, 23 2017 at 4:46 am

Got so drunk blacked out and fell busted my lip and hit my head. I drove home but can't even remember how I got home. I really need to quit. Alcohol turns me into a different person. I put myself and others at risk. I dont drink everyday but when I do I am always the last person drinking. I don't know my limit. I got drunk at work just hope that this does not impact my job

Nomad drk
March, 29 2017 at 12:43 am

I feel your pain guys. I'm 42 years old and made the awful mistake of mixing pain killers and vodka. I was at a local casino and obviously blacked out. I guess I fell on the casino floor and began verbally abusing the workers. I was taken into custody and spent eighteen hours in downtown jail. The things I said and did are probably better left unknown. But, as time goes on I'm starting to remember. I feel very embarrassed and even more ashamed. I'm 42 and have never been arrested ever. It's pretty sobering but the guilt won't go away. I feel like I should find the officer who arrested me and apologize. It really could have been worse. I could have been beat,robbed or the worst drove. Being in jail, I saw guys older and even younger that have had quite a few run-ins with this. I really don't want to be "those guys". Although, I feel more compassion for them too. Drinking can be hard core and the most destructive, especially when your blacked out. Long story short I believe I'm lucky in a way. But can't seem to live down the embarrassment. The co workers that were there and the girls birthday I believe I ruined will take a long time to get over.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Rachel
September, 10 2017 at 5:33 am

Me too

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Rachel
September, 10 2017 at 5:41 am

I went to a hotel over the weekend and got drunk with my husband in their bar. Then we went swimming and my husband left me and went to bed. I have a big blacked out spot but I remember fighting with five people in a hot tub who asked me to get out (I refused). Then the hotel staff asked me to get out and again, I refused. Then the cops came and I did get out. They took me to bed and left. Then I called 911 to talk to them and went outside and cussed the cop out for not kicking everyone else out of the hot tub. He told me to go to bed. I flicked him off and he arrested me. I've really never done anything wrong in my life but now I've been to jail. I had to hire a lawyer for a disorderly conduct charge. I chewed a bunch of people out drunk (add f words in every other word). Then screamed for two hours in jail that I was being illegally detained. My husband had to pick me up from jail. Then I missed the meeting I was out of town to go to. This happened the night before last and I don't know how I am going to mentally cope well enough to get through the day. I would never do any of this. I am mortified. I have a cruise coming up and I am now scared of going.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

na
June, 26 2018 at 2:05 pm

yeah, me and my girlfriend went binge drinking, left our home to bar hop, of course we blacked out. next thing you know i'm yelling at my best friend and brother on why they were being mean. on top of that. she left me alone downtown to go home. i was too drunk to comprehend on what happened. my friends left, so did her. the worst part is that i didn't chase her. i watched her go, and then i went to drink more. i ended drinking another day without her. then ended up spending most of my money. she had to come pick me up while i was still drunk at a hotel because i had refused to come home. i even have glimpses of her wanting me to come home, but i took so long in doing that. i lost 2 days. because of the bottle.
now that im sober now. i have total regret, shame. im upset with myself. how i chose my actions.i let someone down. someone who loves me. someone who would do anything for me. i cant fully describe the disappointment i have towards myself.
i guess i'm taking it day by day.
i know i'll live.
im only 23, and its a shame this happened. just might take some time to get over

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Rudy
November, 9 2018 at 7:51 am

Well, sweetie, you are not the only one who has done this, I remember the feeling very well when I was in your shoes. I am aspiring alcoholic these days and my drinking is off the hook. I really hate waking up to new horrors of what happened the night before. It's undescribable humiliation. I do understand how you feel but I want to tell you you'll get through it. And hopefully someday you can laugh about it with your husband. I know none of is funny, but the good thing about life is the sun comes up and you get a whole new day to start over keep trying best of luck.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Sarah
July, 3 2018 at 1:47 am

I pretty much did this last night but didn’t get arrested. So me and my brother and his gf went to a football game. I thought it would be cool to take a hip flask to the football because I thought they only sold mid strength. Anyway they sold full strength an I got steaming. I disn’t eat all day and I don’t remember leaving the game. We went to the casino and I don’t remember anything. I tried getting money out at the atm for ages and then when we were getting drinks I made some crack at the Barman for taking too long. Then I remember getting circurled by security. I was just arguing with them cuz I didn’t want to accept I’d been kicked out. My brother was trying to talk sensibly to me but I would listen. I just kept saying I haven’t done anything wrong. Then I guess I shoved past the security that were slowly closing in on me and the wrestled me to the ground. Then my brother who is trying to defend me also gets into a scruff on the floor and we are both carried out with everyone looking at us horrified. My brothers girlfriend was so embarassed and I don’t ecen remember getting home. But when I did I’ve just been apologising on loop. I’m just racked with guilt. I am a 32 year old lady. Most people wouldn’t experience that in a life time. I just feel so so embarassed.

Lisa
April, 18 2017 at 2:00 am

A week after my boyfriend broke up with me saying that he likes me but does not love i wentto a paety with my friends.
He was there to but we didnt talk. Well, i went to take a look around withmy cousins boyfriend and we talked a little bit. My ex saw this because he was standing with his friends right next to us. He came over and told me that its shitty that i already foubd someone else
I told him who the guy is and when he went away i told my cousins bf that i won because he is hurt that i talked to someone else and how he played his role so good.
Unfortunately i was so drunk that i was talki g pretty loud (more like screaming)
Im pretty sure his friends heard what i said and told him.
Aargh, i hate myself for it
And after that i went tomy frie ds and told rhem too
But ofcourse loud again and everyone heard it
If i had just shut up after he went away i would havekept my didnity and a victory for myself.
Apparently drunken me didnt want to go it that way ^^'

Regeen
May, 29 2017 at 10:43 am

Hating myself sms ashamed I had a ruff day Saturday night so the bf took me out I got severely liquor drunk. I remember leaving but not getting home. Next thing is waking up going to the living room and the excorsist came out. My in laws are my neighbors I even went banging on there window screening at the top of my lungs this isn't the 1st episode I had. But by fat one of the worst. I've tried to change that person I lost control and I can't snap out of the shame and embarrassment I feel it was so bad I tried to strangle myself. I left and I'm now at my mom's house hiding waiting for this to pass buy it won't.

Noahera
June, 20 2017 at 11:22 pm

My drunken behavior ruined my daughter's first birthday party, and it's something that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. My marriage is in a weird place--started a new job recently...moved from another state and don't feel connected to anyone here, and totally fell weak to bottles of wine... even went to AA meetings and group stuff, but can not relate to anyone, so feel lonelier than ever. I was fine for about 3 months, but as I was warned about, I didn't "stick to the program"... lost my shit last Friday, and my husband canceled the birthday party as a result of my behavior from the night before--we had 50 people coming... and I had to call and cryptically explain last minute that it wasn't happening after talking about how excited I was about it for a month. Saying all of this to say--for the past 72 hours, I have felt sick, guilty, angry, scared, embarrassed, resentful towards my husband for airing out our dirty laundry, but mostly numb. I also know that I am a good mother. In fact, it's all I feel that I am good at these days--yet I managed to fuck everything up because I decided to drink way too much the day before her big party to "take the edge off/curb my anxietty" and now I will always just see pictures from her birthday-day and know in my heart that it did not turn out correctly because I let alcohol win.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Lisa
July, 12 2018 at 7:45 pm

I am an alchoholic visiting my parents out of state. I have been physically sober while here but not mentally. My oldest son who lives out of state joine me and my parents for dinner tonight at a mexican restaurant. I ordered a beer. Mom says if you notice you are the only one who is drinking. I said fine I will leave. It got ugly and embarrassing because she continuued to tell me I was just in rehab and it wasnt fair for me to drink and ruin everyones dinner...that they had deliberately not ordered drinks because of me...to help me. I am 51 years old. What they said is true but it set me off. I did ruin their dinner and break my sons heart. I just want to retreat into myself and fade from sight and existence. I am taking an earlier flight home if possible. Im stuck in my parents home.

sadgirl
July, 12 2017 at 3:39 am

I needed to read this. been struggling for almost a week at what i may have done in an hour i cant remember last friday night.

Confused
July, 13 2017 at 10:05 am

I hardly drink to much but with certain people I do. Usually I'm never left alone afterwards. I feel bad that I was taken to a public store while drunk with two friends and made an ass of myself in there, walked out of it alone and started hitting on a guy in the parking lot. A friend of mine went out after me and called me by my full name very loudly, twice while I think drunk and stoned herself. She denied being drunk, but she was stoned. I had told her not to say my full name when she had shouted it the first time and then she took a deep breath and screamed my full name at the top of her lungs. We shouted at each other for a while outside the store and then our sober person, her boyfriend and a relative of mine, drove me home. I don't remember how I got in my home, if I closed the door or left the keys in the door. I collapsed on the floor in the front hall and stripped. I sometimes sleep on the hardwood there if I am to hot. But I remember waking up to a stranger picking me up and putting me to bed and tucking me in trying to speak gently to me and feeling terror over them being there and I was panicing or crying, while they were concerned for me and they were not able to soothe my fears or quite me down. I think I was hitting their shoulders with my forearms. In my head I kept knowing the person and being okay with them being there to starting to see them as someone else who I didn't like and freaking out striking at them. They kept morphing back in forth between two people in my mind. The man with me was very gentle and kind to me the entire time, I think bewildered themselves at my behavior. There voice only ever remained soft and concerned. They listened to me talk. I believe they lectured me on not drinking and changing my ways which started to anger me and when I told them to leave they did. Then I remember calling 911 on my land line to complain of an intruder and kept forgetting what I was saying on the phone but kept calling out names of men I had known who looked like the stranger who I thought might have been in my home and I think I said I was raped, but I think that's because I woke up on the ground half dressed with someone standing over me and became frightened. I kept thinking it a nightmare to thinking it was real and forgetting what happened and what I was saying. They looked up some information and I think said I had misconduct with a cop (I do remember groping a good looking one at the store) and the police had made sure I got home safe and are allowed to enter a house if someone isn't safe. I didn't believe this as I didn't remember seeing a cop in my house and it wasn't one from the department where I live but another town over which I found confusing. I asked if that cop looked like the main guy I was worried about being in my home and they said, "Mam, I don't know what this person who you speak of looks like." I think I became irate on the phone and hung up and called 911 back where they said they would have me arrested for abusing the service. I apologized and unplugged the phone so I wouldn't call back. I feel bad for the men I accused and for calling at all to complain. I believe there was a man in my home, but I don't know what happened really, I think there was a lot of us talking, and I don't think they meant me harm. I know it was a person who had heard my friends and I when we were outside shouting in public who wanted to make sure I got home safe. I don't know who they were. I feel that I knew them from my past, a past friend maybe, and they didn't mean me any harm. I'm angry my friend shouted my full name and let everyone around hear who I was and angry that I drank on an empty stomach and angry with how I reacted to the whole ordeal. I'm just very very embarrassed and don't know exactly what happened. I just hope none of the men's names I called out to 911 got into any trouble, or got any cop if that's what they were into any trouble. I'd rather be labeled as a stupid drunk than to have gotten anybody innocent into any trouble. I am never going to go out with that girl again. I've been drunk maybe 5 times in my life, and that was the last time and the most embarrassing time of all. There is no rock large enough nor dark enough for me to crawl under. So mortified.

Claire V
August, 10 2017 at 10:19 am

Oh you guys everyone has done somethinbg silly when drunk. think about it reversed would you actually take a drunk person seriously?! No...so forget about it people are too worried thinking about there own lives to focus on your being drunk. At worst just say sorry and that it wont hap again ;)

Sillygirl
September, 3 2017 at 8:20 am

Woke up the morning after my 28th birthday and realised I need to cut out alcohol completely and get some counselling. I am a problem drinker. I started drinking as a teenager to have "fun with friends" and have consisitlenly been a binge drinker since. Last night I had to be removed from a party which I refused to leave after an argument with the host. I lost my Grandmothers wedding ring on the street and really hurt and embarrassed my boyfriend with my behaviour.
I have a sister who I haven't spoken to in over a year after ruining her 30th birthday by getting wasted and having an argument with everyone there! I have woken up with men I don't know in my bed and during a holiday woke up in a house of a man I didn't know and couldn't remember the name of my hotel or speak enough Spanish to ask for guidance. When I did find my way back my best friend was waiting for my apology after I screamed at her in the club we were in the night before.
Really wrestling with my conscious today and wish I could erase the past! Hoping for a better me in the future. Must always remain sober!!!!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Never Again
September, 14 2017 at 11:24 am

I was in a similar situation on Sept. 4th. Worse day of my life. Had a party for my husband and step son. I suffer from severe head aches so I took prescriptions which my doctor had prescribed. I was not going to drink because of the meds I had taken. Party got started and everything was fantastic. Well, I started to drink and do shots of tequila. All was fine until everyone left except my sister in law who dooesnt care for me, her husband and a friend. They stayed and we went in the pool. I was fine, or so I thought, and then, I wasn't. I started talking nonsense. I had heard stories that day from a friend who's friends are cheating and I must have had those stories in my mind. I started telling the stories but with me and my husband as the main characters!!!!!!!!! That we cheated on each other and other awful things which are untrue about us. My sister in law, not liking me, kept asking me questions knowing my state of confusion and drunkeness. My husband was also drunk in the pool. He was laughing. He knows none of it is true but I am afraid that my sister in law will tell the family and people will think the worse of me. I think about this and I cry, shake and get rapid heart beat. I feel AWFUL and I want to dye. I wont hurt myself but I do feel awful. I am thinking of explaining things to her but my husband says to just let it go. What to do??????????? I am mortified and so embarrased to have to see her again this Sunday.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Esquire
September, 26 2017 at 3:41 am

I so can relate to Wresting with your conscious! I have a really tough time also having to think of what I did and how I acted! But I suppose realinsing I have a problem is half the problem solved

Esquire
September, 26 2017 at 3:38 am

Hey Guys, Im glad I came across the website, I actually cant believe reading that other people do the same stupid things makes me feel ever so slightly better, I have reached a point where alchohol is ruining my life, Driving drunk, Phoning people when drunk, black outs and it just keeps going on and on, I dont drink every night but when I do I completely loose control, I am so embarrased about my drinking and behaviour that I feel like this hell will never end, I try and remind myself that I need to move on and forward but it is so hard! I know I cant continue like this. Im starting not even recognize myself. Well its only 4 days sober now, but I really hope I can start to build a life where I actually am not ashamed of myself!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

anna
October, 1 2017 at 1:36 pm

it’s the same for me too, last night i went to a small party and i was the only person drunk so i embarrassed myself so much

Ann
October, 17 2017 at 6:09 pm

It’s been a lot for me this week my 8 years live in partner left me for 6 days now, I went to a place a little far where I live ang I drink to forget him but things got bad when I was going home someone tried to chased me 2 woman and two guys whit a car the girl insisted to take me home and fallowing me but I was Afraid because I don’t know this people. I run and hide in the brushes when I saw that their gone I run like hell then I rich out the highway I took the jeep and cried somuch then people trying to talk to me and holding me I’ve freak out, and fall out from the jeep then so many people looking at me and police give a hand I told them I just want to went home but they keep fallowing me so I wears at them and to police I said I just want to went home and no body is seems to tell me how to get a ride because I didn’t know the place , but I walk and walk the still fallowing me and holding me so swear so much that what the Fxx. It took me an hour to find a taxe and the police telling them find out where I live that even freak me out somuch more. Some taxe didn’t want to give me a ride because they thought I’m strange and looking horable and dirty. When I finally have a ride home I’m still afraid they might make trouble of me. don’t know what to do with all that embarrassment:(

Danielle
October, 17 2017 at 7:13 pm

It was my birthday last week and I have been dealing with a lot of social anxiety, depression over career, life, existential crisis, other 22 year old B.S., so I really wanted to have a great time. I took myself to a concert I really wanted to go to, went out with my sister and cousin to bring the birthday in (which went amazingly well) and even went out again at the end of the week. The next day however, I went out one more time to celebrate with other big cousins of mine who have always treated me like a little sister. They always go out together because they're in the same age group, so getting to drink with them now is something I've grown fond of, even though I'm less of a pro. I knew I was still hungover from all the tequila I had the night before (which led me to cursing out a guy I really like for no reason), but decided to go meet them anyway. I didn't plan on drinking at first, but decided after a while that I'd be down for a couple of harmless shots. WRONG. A couple turned into a few, along with several beers, so nevertheless I became heavily inebriated within 3 hours. We decided to go out somewhere else afterwards, where I had more shots, mixed drinks, and that is when everything went to shit. Apparently I was so drunk that I was falling into my usual drunken promiscuity, which somehow could have allegedly tempted one of my cousins. I just remember walking back to the table from using the bathroom for the 18th time that night, and hearing one of my other cousins angrily say to him, "So you're gonna fuck your cousin? Really?!" Needless to say, that was awkward and embarrassing enough as it is, whether or not it was actually true. This should have been my cue to try and find my way home, but I chose not to respond and to continue on with the night. The next morning I wake up in a strange bed to cramps and completely soaked pants. I have no idea what happened after that moment, but the only flashbacks I gathered from the rest of the day included: 1) jumping on the bar to dance and being pulled down 2) flirting with a cousin's friend aggressively to make him kiss me 3) yelling at my friend to take a job offer and get his life together. It's 3 days later and I'm too ashamed to speak and apologize to my cousins, because I still don't fully know what they were dealing with from me that night. I still have no idea when and where I pissed my pants and who else witnessed it. I know it doesn't seem like it from this story, but my family is known to uphold a certain refined and classy behavior ("stuck up"), which none of this clearly adheres to. If anyone else were to find out what the hell happened that night, I would be labeled an alcoholic and socially branded as a problem-child. I am not an alcoholic, but do have issues that I need help with overcoming, and this godawful experience has finally helped me realize this. I hope this puts things in perspective for anyone dealing with something similar.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Xavier Jones
October, 28 2017 at 4:31 am

Whoa, you have had quite a night. Don't feel bad. At least you didn't end up in jail or killed or someone, and judging by your comment it seems as though your not married, so that's also another good thing as far as the flirting part is concerned. I've seen people do worse. Such as vomiting in middle of the dance floor, people mistaking the dinner table as a toilet or a urinal, or people actually admitting their long dark in the closet secrets. Be safe, and just forget about it. Your only human.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

FR
December, 2 2017 at 3:22 pm

I'm 22 and I've been dealing with alcohol problems for quite a while, and I thought I was over it, until last night, I totally screwed up a party and started flirting with guys... I'm gay, but not the kind of person who does that... at all. Anyways my sister is really mad at me and her friends must think I'm a complete idiot. I'm the kind of alcoholic that cannot stop once I get started, and I've also had quite a lot of problems due to alcohol in the past. I think the best way to deal with the feelings of shame and regret is to know you're not alone. We've all done things we are not proud of. It's good for you to know that there are other people all around the globe that have deal with a situation like that in the past. I relate to the way you feel right now, and you need to let all the pain and discomfort out. Talk to people, and seek help. Remember you are a wonderful person. If you feel alone, talk to someone. This problem will make you stronger and wiser, and it will be as well forgotten. And if you ever need to talk to someone, but you don't feel safe, talk to me. I like hearing people's problems and helping them go through them. Have a nice day <3

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Rebecca
December, 4 2017 at 12:19 am

I literally had the worst night of drinking in my life on Saturday and I can't face anyone. I can barely remember most of it. I started new medication and it clearly messed up badly because I got drunk so fast. Ive been dealing with a lot of mental issues and I just couldn't stop drinking and I think that night has pushed me over the edge because I tried to kill myself (not the first time) and I almost succeeded. Ugh the shame and embarrassment just makes me think how can I face anyone ever again.

Daniel
October, 30 2017 at 9:25 am

This happened Saturday night at a Halloween/birthday party. My girlfriend and I showed up to a party that her best friend and husband invited us to, I've known them as long as I've known my gf (9+years). As soon as we got there we were told that "we had to catch up" so we began drinking and taking anything alcohol related. Taking shots after shots, gummy bears with alcohol, apple slices fermented with alcohol, syringes with jello. I made the huge mistake of drinking on an empty stomach, I didn't think about it, the only thing on my mind was gotta catch up, finally have a night out with my girlfriend, I'm going to have a good time, also I'm nowhere near a big drinker. After me and my girlfriend were pulled to the dance floor, I don't remember anything. It was all blur, now my gf won't talk to me :( when I asked her what happened the next day, she said I had acted like a monster, I got extremely crazy and was put in a headlock. She said I was close to getting killed, I wanted to urinate and being in a costume I must've had issues trying to take it out and when I did a little girl was nearby so her father thought the wrong thing and was ready to kill me. To make things worst, she said I pushed her really hard and she fell on her back. I would never lay a finger on her and I am not someone who resorts to violence in any way. I can't find a big enough rock to hide my face under, this is the first time anything like this has happened to me and I can't find a way to deal with the shame. I feel what I have done is unforgivable :(

Mary
November, 25 2017 at 8:12 am

I know I have a problem when I start drinking. The eternal "I'll just have 2 drinks" ends in 15 drinks. Same happened last night. I went to a concert, but mostly because I knew a guy would be there that I had a thing with a couple of weeks ago. although I already sort of guessed he wasn't really that interested in me any more (he was at first) after also a ridiculous drunken night (another embarassing and long story). So, I'm there, he's there, he sort of stays out of my way, and I'm playing it cool. Chatting with other people, having a good time actually. He did come over once to talk a bit, but left rapidly. And then, then I started to get drunk I saw him chatting with other girls. That made me jealous - and drunk and jealous is no good combination. I walked up to him and asked "Do you think we will ever sleep together again?". He looked at me with slight disgust and shook his head.
Oh My God. Thinking of this just makes me want to dissapear off of the face of the earth!!!
Then later that night I deleted him as my FB-friend and went up to him to tell him about this. Another cringe-worthy moment.
To end it all with a message sent at 6 o'clock in the morning saying "I wanted you tonight, too bad. Byeeeeee!!"
Every time I think back to all of this (have been having flashbacks all day long) I could die of embarassment.
I'm gonna stop drinking. It's just not worth it.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

a
December, 29 2017 at 12:10 pm

Please don’t be ashamed about yourself. It just means you wanted something more and the alcohol was jus a trigger. You didn’t embarrass yourself as much as you feel. The best way for you right now is to focus on everything apart of this guy and don’t let him come back even if he would be begging for a one night stand. Guys can do really odd things to get another one from girl which previously shown she’s avaible for sex.

Dave
December, 2 2017 at 12:28 pm

Reading through these comments this morning had really helped me so i thought i would leave my own. I was at my partners christmas dinner, we had predrinks before hand with some of the other younger people with in the company. I was drinking red wine all night which i never normally drink. I also suffer from an eating disorder so my stomach was totally empty and acidic. So i got chatty and friendly at predrinks and that was fine. We got to hall the company had hired out for dinner and I had more wine there. I could feel myself becoming way to chatty and noticing that i was the drunkest person there. I went to the bathroom and ended up not being able to get my shirt back on. A worker i know quite well from other functions had to come in and help me dress myself. I remember snippits of weird embarrassing conversations i was having. I ended up really angry at my partner although i have no memory of it and i got into a cab and went home by about 8pm. I had had an starter but left before the main course came out. To make it worse my partner didnt cover me, they told all their workmates i left because i was angry. Which i dont remember at all. I dont know the order any of these events happened. I am just so embarrassed. Everyones going to think im crazy and agro. I dont know what was wrong with me and so many people witnessed my behaviour

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