Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior
Forgiving yourself for embarrassing drunken behavior can be tough. Being drunk is one of the most common reasons behind people embarrassing themselves or being stupid. It’s pretty safe to assume that if you have been drunk, you have embarrassed yourself in some small, minor way. And if you’re an alcoholic, you might have some pretty epic stories of nights that ended in a major embarrassment to you or someone else. In some instances, those stories are laughable and can be shaken off or simply shared in jest. In other situations, these are the ghost and horror stories of our drinking days: embarrassing drunken nights never to be admitted or acknowledged in any way because the shame and embarrassment was too great. Embarrassing drunken stories that fueled me to drink more. If I drank more, it would be easy to forget my shame. It took me a long time to forgive myself for my embarrassing drunken behavior.
Now, as a sober, recovering alcoholic, I don’t have that escape anymore. I still have embarrassing moments and I still remember the most awful nights of my drinking days, but I deal with them differently. This is what I do.
Feeling Embarrassed from Your Drunken Behavior? Let Yourself Swear
If my mind is wandering while walking to my car and I remember a particularly embarrassing drunken moment, I will spontaneously start swearing under my breath. To someone walking next to me, it might be a bit alarming, but for me, it’s an instinctive action that actually makes me feel a little better. Swearing is actually good for you, as proven by a study in the United Kingdom, and helps relieve stress. You can release negative emotions and release emotional pain through swearing, so don’t resist it.
Forgive Yourself for Embarrassing Drunk Behavior by Recognizing Your Shame
Much like with addiction recovery, acknowledging your shame is the first part of accepting and recovering from it. A totally normal human emotion, shame, must be dealt with in order to learn, grow, and move forward from a haunting past.
Don’t Try to Rationalize Embarrassing Drunken Behavior
Alcoholism is not rational. If it were, there would not be so many unanswered questions about the disease of addiction. Therefore, trying to justify or explain your drunken antics is a lost cause. Especially because when active in an addiction, people often behave in ways that do not align with their own moral code. So if you’re dealing with shame, chances are you already know what you did was bad or embarrassing and no level of rational thought will make that go away.
Remember People You Have Forgiven
When all else fails, remember that at some point in your life, someone else had to ask you for forgiveness. How or why did you forgive them?
The highest form of love is forgiveness. The greater the offense, the more love is required to forgive that person. Double the amount of love required when you are forgiving yourself. This may be difficult to do, especially in early sobriety when self-loathing is usually at its peak. If you aren’t able to quickly identify five things you love about yourself, you need to adopt some daily practices to boost our self-esteem.
Shame and embarrassment are good reminders of how our alcoholism shaped our behavior, and not in a good way. But like everything, they are only good in moderation: too much shame hinders us and prevents us from living life fully. Work through the embarrassment to forgive yourself. Only then will the shame of your drunken past begin to fade to a memory devoid of pain.
Creative Commons photo attribution to mloberg.
You can find Becky on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and her website.
APA Reference
Doyle, B.
(2015, July 2). Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, November 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/debunkingaddiction/2015/07/forgiving-yourself-for-embarrassing-drunken-behavior
Author: Becky Doyle
I feel the same. I cut back on drink buy I keep phoning and texting people drunk.some I haven't spoken to in years.i always act so weird and embarrassing .it makes me feel so bad about myself
I just did that 2 days ago. Believe me I'm fkin embarrassed as hell, I even blocked a friend due to it
I’m awake lying in bed cringing about my behaviour last night. I was out with work colleagues knocking back brandy’s and it all hit me at once. I always get like this and I promised myself that I wouldn’t get drunk with work as I don’t want them to see that side of me. Feel absolutely awful and so embarrassed I only hope that I didn’t make too much of a show.
dont worry haha LAST NIGHT I WAS MAKING OUT AND CUDDLING WITH A GUY AT THE TABLE! and i spent $400 and im a regular at the club lmao, so yeah... i bet they appreciated me buying everyone shots tho but i was so gone. So embarrassed, This has happened to me before tho and i get over it in a week and go out and do the same thing next week then regret that too... LOL. DM me on Insta, jacobyyc_ i wanna hear all about it lol
I do have a problem with when to stop, especially when I’m upset.
The other evening I went for a few casual drinks with my partner and she caught an argument with me about a very small thing and really it was blown out of contrast. She stormed out of the Irish pub we live nearby that I go to here and there as it’s very nice and the bartenders are very friendly Irishmen.
After she left I was frustrated and had a few more drinks which threw me into a tailspin brownout. I got very chatty with everyone at the bar and a man was bothering me and wouldn’t leave me alone. I shoved him out of the bar and I feel like I made an ass of myself. I think perhaps the bartender understood but I still do not want to go back there ever again and hopefully won’t see the bartender in the neighborhood as I sometimes so.
Additionally I might have left without paying accidentally. I truly believe I paid but part of me thinks I may not have which makes me feel terrible.
I was thinking of possibly sending a card to the pub with an apology note and some money to cover the cost. I really have no idea if I paid. It is 50/50 but I think worth it likely to just send the money.
Or should I just be done with it and avoid the place altogether?
Hi everyone. Im 29 years old and engaged to my beautiful fiance who i have a baby daughter that turns 3 months today. My fiance has been a stay at home mom since she had the baby ,i know she wanted to socialize and get out of the house so i told her to go out and have fun while i took care of the baby . She went out with one of my best friends girlfriend and 3 other female coworkers, they all hit it off and had a great time ,also this was the first time some of them met my fiance and hung out with her. I ruined it all , everything.
Two of my friends came to have some drinks at home while we waited for the ladys .I am a drinker ,i drink every day , usually wine or scotch.
All i remeber is i lost control , when my fiance came back home with all the girls i could barely stand straight and she was furious ( i dont blame her one bit) she started screaming at me and i lost it , i called her horrible names and when my friend tried getting in between us i shoved him against the dining room table, i threatened to kill everyone and threw up all over the place .
I woke up confused and with no memory of what happened and i realized i drank a whole bottle of jameson .My fiance was locked in the room and told me she didn't want to see me , i tool the day off from work and i go in tomorrow . i dont know how to show my face , im embarrassed , i feel like a waste of life and i want to die .
Everything i do is for my family, I love them more than anything in rhis world , they are my life.
But i let them down and i dont know how to recover from this.
Its not the first time ive had an angry drunk episode .
I think its time for me to stop drinking completely.
I hate myself right now.
Reading all these stories has helped me get through the day.i have bruses on my body and my wrist some how got cut, i think its from punching a hole in the wall.
Ive been goimg to therapy for my anger issues and now i dont know if i should also go to an AA meeting lol
Its as if i am repeating my childhood except im not the scared child , im the angry man with the bottle.
Well its time change i just dont know where to start fixing this mess i made.
Well, since it helped me reading through these I figure I'd share some of mine
I get really gay and horny when drunk and start making out with friends sometimes. Thanks god they are still my friends. And I always do it in public to make it even worse or in front of other friends and I still remember shocked looks, they actually haunt me and I might have some PDSD from it because I sometimes randomly remember the looks, scream or say the "f" word out of reflex and my muscles move involuntarily, like a small seizure for a second.
I am a regular at a club and am known for being a drunkard. Probably the biggest. One time I could not close my pants and asked the bouncer for help lol
One time, I got wasted, probably one of the worst nights, and I was unable to walk Aline so 2 friends brought me home. I insisted them to write one of the guys I made Out with before to write him I really love him. Haven't heard from him since.
This one is not too bad and it was last week
and I actually decided to quit drinking after. I remember talking to people, apoligizing for misbehaving in the past then I blacked out but stood up again only to be thrown out by the bouncers because I was suddenly bleeding heavily out of a small cut in my finger I somehow got into a emergency car.
Soooo I’ve just started a new job and have only been in the office a few times due to lock down so was looking forward to meeting some other people in other departments but stupid me overdid it like I always do! Blacked out but remember a gay guy pushing me down my head to make it look like I was sucking his d… which I obviously took offence to which must be what set me off, my daughter came to pick me up and said I was yelling and swearing at a lady there (I THINK I know who it was) o feel like trash, reading these comments have helped me a bit so thanks everyone but I’m really dreading Monday and I feel like it will be brought up, I feel worried and scared, don’t know if I should bring up what happened and now feel like a total fool. I usually like to drink alone at home but after this I’m giving up! Good luck with everything everyone ?
Like everyone else here, I'm overwhelmed by reading all of these experiences. I'm terrified by what happened to me this weekend while blackout drunk, and this hasn't been the first time I've found myself in such a situation. I got off of work early and had a few glasses of wine at the bar I work at, as well as the bar next door. I was alone and after drinking more than an entire bottle by myself I was feeling friendly so I popped into the Irish pub on my walk home (this was my big mistake, I should have just gone home). There was only one man sitting at the bar, and he recognized me as he was in the bar I work at earlier in the evening. He greeted me enthusiastically and told me to sit next to him, which I did. I quickly downed a Manhattan which was a mistake (liquor is what gets me in trouble) and when he suggested grabbing an uber to go to a bar a couple of miles away I complied enthusiastically. My memory is spotty from then on but I remember him kissing me at the other bar, I think I wanted to get away from him because I ended up outside sitting on a picnic table at a food truck with a group of sketchy men. I don't know how I was acting or responding to these men but I'm quite sure a few of them were trying to taking advantage of me. Next thing I remember is BOLTING down the street into some neighborhood trying to get away from the man I came here in the uber with. My final memory is being passed out on the sidewalk with these strange men touching me inappropriately and taking full advantage of my helpless state. Thank GOD they left me alone, as I woke up on the sidewalk with the sun coming up and I was able to walk the 20 minutes home with the aid of my phone which I'm so lucky I still had. I cried the whole walk home, partly because I was ashamed and terrified but mostly because I was grateful I made it out of that situation in one piece.
I have a problem with over drinking. Last night I was on Twitter posting about running for political office in my state. I love politics, and the whole idea of helping people, but I was banging on about running and trying to encourage other people to run. While drinking I fail to remember that most people including myself have zero political experience and funds to actually participate in an election.
Not the most embarrassing story in the world but I'll have a hard time letting that go for a while. I've since deleted the tweets and deactivated my account, I'm on there too much anyway.
I figured I'd share my story to let others know that you're not alone and this happens probably far more frequently than we can imagine.
Hopefully this makes you feel better by me saying this but I laughed. I totally understand your embarrassment as I can relate to posting stupid things online while under the influence, but this one is funny. Sometimes it feels better to laugh at yourself instead
I don’t know if I’m ready to tell my story, but I want to get what I can, out. I just moved to a new state and met some new friends. They’re not really my type (I’m active, I don’t drink much, I don’t smoke, I’m outdoorsy and athletic) but this always happens. It’s hard for me to make friends bc I’m socially awkward and I have a lot of mental health stuff. Depression, anxiety, etc…. So I take what I can get and I mirror who they are so that they like me (I always hate myself for that) they’re very nice at least and so that makes it easier. Anyways, my son is best friends with their son, so we got invited to his birthday party at their house. They actually made it a kids party/adult party with Jell-O shots, scotch, vodka mixed drinks and beer. At first, I was smart and said no to the Jell-O shots because I knew better… but they kept on and kept on so I was like ok what the hell. So I took one and we ended up having like 6 shots. Maybe more who knows. I’m tiny, I should’ve never done that. Time goes on and I’m more social and silly but I’m fine. The kids party finally ends at 4 and I decide to sit down and relax and have some beers and talk because I had been helping my friend with her party and I was exhausted, mostly because the night before I only slept 2 hours (couldn’t sleep) when I sat, I probably should’ve eaten and had some water. It was extremely hot and humid, and honestly I should’ve just left right then and there but I hadn’t been out in so long, I haven’t done anything with anyone outside of my family in years. For a second there, I was happy and felt like my old self, when I had friends and fun. But that’s because the shots really hit me and I was drinking beer like it was water bc I was hot. The people on the porch that I was talking to, were not interesting. We had nothing in common, I don’t even know what we were talking about, I guess the music on the Alexa, and our kids? We all have kids. This girl Melissa was there and she was very chatty and I was pretending to be interested in what she was saying but I wasn’t. I’m more of a deep person, and when I’m around like minded people, we don’t have small talk. So I was in a weird headspace having to dumb myself down for a few people I knew weren’t for me. I blacked out. I don’t remember anything after Melissa left. Nothing. I have little flashbacks, but I don’t remember a thing. Apparently I sat outside and talked to some ugly scrawny dude for hours about who knows. He was drinking the worst scotch and literally not my type at alllllllll. He reminded me of an old high school buddy of mine, maybe that’s why I was drawn to him. Everyone there was inside and I guess talking about me. I guess saying I was hot and they wanted to “hit that” but then people said I was married and blah blah. You know how guys can be. I guess they got pissed that the guy I was talking to was making me laugh and smile but I always do that and tbh, even more when I’m drunk. My son was supposed to stay for a sleepover so I guess I realized that it was late and so I just got up and left and drove home. Don’t even know how the night ended. Oh we did go on the big water slide too. So dumb. I should’ve never. Not drunk anyways. Fast forward to the next morning and it’s drama central. Apparently that guy asked about me in their group chat and said he thought something was there between us and they were like “she’s married” and I guess he said he didn’t know that. My friend told me that he was kicked out of the street bike gang thingy they’re in, idk… and My god, so dramatic. I wasn’t feeling it at all. Fast forward. I message the dude on Instagram and he seems fine. He’s like “I knew you were in a relationship. You were loyal and respectful. He’s lucky to have you” very weird. Fast forward to my sons party and I invited them to the party. While she was there, she told me that the guy told them that I said I wasn’t happy in my relationship and THATS why he did what he did (talked to me and followed me around) I don’t think I said that. First of all, I thought he didn’t know I was even in a relationship. Now all of this. Anyways, I told my partner everything. I always do. He didn’t care. But I’m mortified. I’m embarrassed. I feel so much shame and guilt. I had conversations with people and don’t remember ANY OF IT. I told some girl that I thought I was a bad mom??? Why would I say that? Why would I put my kids in danger like that saying stuff that isn’t true. Having strangers worrying or idk. Idk how to feel or what to think. Apparently I told one girl that I thought she was judgmental and that upset her. I have no clue what happened when the adult party really started. I was smoking cigarettes which I never do unless I’m blacked out, and ugh. I hate myself. They all hate me and probably think I’m a flirting lying whore that thinks she’s a bad mother who also calls people names “judgmental” who I don’t even know. It’s so embarrassing, that’s not who I am. I am calm and sweet and playful and fun mom to some awesome kids that are truly my whole life. I am not a flirting cheating dumb bitch. I didn’t cheat, but they all have me feeling like I did by talking to that guy, and I know maybe that’s not my friends intention, but that’s what it feels like. They live up the street and our boys are best friends, and I wish we could just move states lol but we are here forever, so I’ll forever have to live with this embarrassment and awkwardness. I’m afraid that people will always talk about me and always wonder if I’m a bad mom and a cheater. I feel like I embarrassed my partner and my kids, and I don’t know how to stop the thoughts and feelings of dread that I’m having. I just feel so low and alone and depressed. I’m never drinking again. Alcohol ruins lives and friendships. Period. I know my story isn’t as bad as the others, but I can not shake this depression I have from whatever the hell happened. I guess I’ll never really know. I feel like my friend isn’t telling me all the stupid stuff I did bc she wants to protect my feelings because she knows I was drunk and she knows I’m a good person, but idk….. I just feel so alone and like the world hates me.
Hey, I get it!! I have no suggestions, just to let you know you are not alone If it is to be rationalized, there is a saying "it is better to be alone than in bad company." Maybe go for a run, bike ride, or hike...and you may meet like minded people. Give yourself a break, it is not easy to move and make new buddies. It takes a while. Good luck!!!
I and my husband move another country. I started to learn another language. The other day, there was a fest. And all of the neighbors were there. I was hungry and I drank too much beer. I talked with everyone about the things I cant remember. And there was a guy who is younger than me. I try to talk with him but I cant remember what we were talking about. Last minutes of the conversation he swear me in amother language. I think we were talking about languages and he said "I know Chezch, prostitute!" And everyone heard it. Some girl translated it to me. IDK why he said like this but I cant remember any of it. My husband were emberassed. I wont drink alcohol anymore. I am so sorry. You are not alone. Maybe I told the guy on party about silly sexual jokes IDK. It is really emberassing. Now i cant leave the house because I dont want to see my neighbors.
I’m really embarrassed about the things I do sometimes while being drunk,
I have a crush on my boss’s son and he gave me ride home after I got drunk with my friends, I do not know if he has any feelings for me or not but I was all over him that night, falling, tripping on him I also got my ankle sprained and I was not letting him go from my house but he eventually left and I do not even remember about the things i told him. I was hugging him and asking him not leave. I don’t know how am I gonna face him at work now.
I humiliated my husband by kicking his coworkers out, whom I had invited to our home. I also accused him of cheating with one of his coworkers and calling her names… I’m so depressed right now. I hardly drink like that, but I hate alcohol ..
I am in this same scenario and continue to do this. I hate myself, I have embarrassed him too many times and I feel like he’d be a fool to stay with me.
Hey y'all, reading these drunken horror stories is a bit comforting to me, knowing I'm not the only one!
I have been a hardcore alcoholic for a long time. I am 32 years old and I have lost several jobs due to drinking. I have spent time in jail for DUI, and paid tens of thousands of dollars on drinking and its consequences.
You would think I've learned my lesson, but NO! I keep messing things up! While I have improved drastically with my drinking, I've learned that complete and total abstinence is my only option now. Unless I want to die or get arrested.
I used to get drunk every single night, but now I am taking better care of myself and drink 1X per week max. Convincing myself that all my hard work and personal progress deserves a fun night at the local saloon. I mean I used to guzzle whiskey by myself, so the thought of a few beers with friends/coworkers seems totally normal, right? WRONG!
Once I have a single sip of beer, wine or whiskey, I will keep drinking into oblivion, and I have dozens of scary brownout/blackout stories. But now I would like to share my most recent horror story, hopefully my final painful lesson with alcohol.
So I do seasonal work, which means that I travel around the country to live and work for a "season", usually Summer and Winter. Each seasonal gig lasts about 4-5 months, although every place is different. Right now I am in a small town in North Dakota. Well I started off strong! Exercising instead of drinking, sticking to a healthy daily routine, getting along well with my coworkers. I hadn't felt this great in a long time, which means I let my guard down in regards to alcohol. I convinced myself that I could handle a night of drinking. That I DESERVED a night of drinking. Ugh.
Anyways, all the employees go out for "Ladies Night" on Monday nights. We go to the local saloon, where the ladies drink for cheap. Most of the workers are international people from places like Romania, Poland, Bulgaria, France, Dominican Republic and Mexico. I am one of the few American dudes here, but let me tell you, I have a thing for Spanish speaking women. And the Dominican girls are my favorite, one of whom I have a huge crush on.
So Im really excited for Ladies Night because my crush is going to be there. And since Im pretty shy and introverted, i always think that a few drinks will make me more fun. Well a few drinks turns into pregaming with a pint of whiskey. So Im pretty much wasted by the time I even get to the saloon, where of course I continue to drink.(and I don't have a vehicle. plus this town is so small that you can easily walk everywhere. so thankfully no DUI behavior) At first, I still feel pretty composed, chatting innocently with girls and guys alike. But after I start downing beer (and remember, I drank like a pint of whiskey before hand), I start losing my inhibitions. I get aggressive. I remember going straight up to my crush and saying something flirty in Spanish. But at the same time, Im browning in and out of consciousness. Next thing I know, this big scary looking Hispanic dude is giving me a dirty look. And having been working out recently, and sloshed, I feel pretty cocky and fearless. I square up with this dude, probably talking all kinds of trash, egging him on and what not.
Well the next thing I remember is waking up on the ground with blood trickling out of my month. This guy knocked me out cold, right in front of all my coworkers. Talk about embarrassing! I had some other cringe worthy interactions that night, and being blackout drunk means I don't remember most of it. I think that is the absolute worse, when you black out and don't remember. I have done insane things in this condition, like pull knives on people. I turn into a scary monster. And I fear thats what i did! SO the next morning, I called out of work, although everyone knew it was because I was hungover. I couldnt bear to show my face, which was swollen and aching at that! And the thing about seasonal work is that everyone lives and works together in close quarters. There is like a fishbowl affect in which you cannot really get away from other people. I contemplated just up and leaving, thats how bad I felt. But I decided to man up and face the consequences, look people in the eye and apologize.
Thankfully a lot of other people were pretty drunk that night too, so it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought.
But gosh, I am done with alcohol. All I do is LOSE when I drink. Whether I lose money, friends, respect, or jobs, I sure as hell don't gain anything. Just lose lose lose. And Im done
Just this weekend I had my aunt over to the house for the first time for her birthday weekend and it was a disaster. I don't usually drink vodka, but I bought it for her and I ended up drinking way too much on Saturday into early Sunday morning. My boyfriend has a habit of bringing up past issues we have had when we have company or in a group setting, knowing I don't lie it, but he does it anyway. This one story he talked about with my aunt, he already talked about with two other groups in the past month, even though we discussed it and dealt with it. I was furious and argued with him because he wants to bring these things up just to be right, he doesn't care how it makes me feel.
So I drank more because I was furious. And around 1am Sunday morning, I went to the washroom and fell back against the toilet tank and broke the tank. Water spilled out and seaped through to our ceiling below, causing some water damage. And a little dripped to our neighbors place below us.
I am taking ownership and doing everything to fix it, and have decided to stop drinking completely. But it is important for your significant other to be supportive as well. We talked about everything the next day calmly, but he stills rubs it in my face. I am well aware of what I did and feel bad about it, since it also happened in front of my aunt, who is like a mother to me. I know I did a bad thing, but I don't believe in making someone feel worse than they already do. Show support for those you love and help them through the situation. We feel bad enough as it is.
This past weekend, I was with my maternal family, they went to sleep, I just couldn't sleep, and therefore I drank a full bottle of whisky and some beers,,,I was so drunk to a point I couldn't walk or stand, I fell, embarrassing myself and almost hurting myself. my mum and her sisters (my aunts) were also present, I believe they are very disappointed in me, my cousins maybe a little but I don't know how will i face my aunties after this ordeal i created. some of my cousins had to pick me up and hold me to walk.
Drinking with my family and friend at a party, my sis and her boyfriend were there too, I have 10 years on them but the other folks are double my age so i hung out with them as a cool older brother. I cannot drink like them but i tried anyway.. shots, sh1t mixes, wine, beer. It was awful. Things were good.
But at the end of the night everything went south. we were chilling outside and i could see my sis just wanted to go to sleep, I don't remember what he said, something like "sit and stay", i immediately saw red and rushed round the table to sit next to her, i told her to go to bed and then sat in her seat. Context: she (my sis) has severe abandonment issues, self harms when hes not there, threatens suicide and has attempted it before, she is a shell of the girl i grew up with but she is getting much better. throughout the evening he was slapping her (uncomfortably hard) and barking orders at her like some animal, i just had enough. I spewed some of the cruelest scariest things i could muster from me, in an attempt to scare some sense into him, it was like i was possessed. What a mistake. He started recording my monologue seemingly just after i had sat next to him (without my knowledge) my sis then rushed out and took his side, and they both started shaming and goading me into saying some proper horrible things, even challenged me to a fight which i am SO glad i walked away from, when she came out and jumped in with him i had no idea what to do. The next morning he sent the recording to my mother. The recording is terrible, it is the worst version of me imaginable. The whole thing is like a nightmare I can't wake up from. There is a lesson here i have yet to learn.
I have had a quite confusing relationship with alcohol, almost like a love/hate one. I don't drink very often because i'm not that old, but when i do, i can't seem to stop. I hate it, and i feel so bad for my friends after we go out. I'm struggling a bit with something that happened one night... I got black out drunk, and idk why but apparently some guy and i kissed (when i heard the story, it sounded like i took the initiative). I haven't seen him since and i also didn't know him. I really regret it, because i also have lost my best friend because of it. (He had a crush on me before and didnt take what happened that night well at all.) But now im just feeling really confused, because he is 27 years older than me. Could have been my dad kind of old... I'm pretty sure he wasn't as drunk as me, and i feel that he is partly responsible as an adult. But i blame myself. I know that it is my fault, but i also feel like i've lost my trust in (older) men. Im 99% sure that he was the one behind a recent friend request, because i usually never get those and i didnt know the person at all. I looked up his name, and he has a family and a wife. His oldest child must be around my age. I feel like i possibly ruined a marriage... I don't know how to feel or what to do.
So i am 42 and been a functioning alcoholic basically my entire adult life. Usually drink anywhere from eight to fifteen beers probably about three nights a week. usually just at home on the phone with a couple single girls i know. When im in a relationship i tend to curb that down for the most part but recently me and my long term gf broke up and i have been in the dumps. Well i went out last night with a couple long term friends i hadnt seen in a while. Went to a local bar we were having fun drinking, playing pool and chatting. I was getting pretty loaded toward the end of the night but was having such a good time i decided to stay when they were going to drop me off at my house. Big mistake! I told them i would uber home and was probably there another hour and a half drinking talking to random strangers, flirting with a couple girls. I dont think i really did anything terrible while i was there because i remember about everything. But by the time i left couldnt even figure out how to work the uber app on my phone so i just figured i would walk home. about 2 miles. Somewhere on the walk home at a little after midnight i trip and hit my head on the sidewalk. I am balding so i shave my head completely. Other than that i get home fine and go to bed. Wake up with this big scrape on the top of my head and it looks rediculous. I have three days before i go back to work, praying it will some how heal by then. I feel pretty stupid today and thought this would help. Thinking of getting some makeup to try and cover the scrape before going back to work. Not how i intended to start my long holiday weekend. I really need to stop drinking to say the least. Its when i have the most fun times but always the times i put myself in the worst or imbarrassing situations. Knowing myself, in a week or so the scrape will be gone, last night will be a distant memory and ill be right back to over drinking. such a shame
I recently just turned 21 and have been regularly drinking since 15. The last two years I have been drinking so excessively I black out almost everytime. When I do I behave horribly and seem to turn into a different kind of person. I lie badly, I get touchy with people other than my boyfriend, I get loud, start fights, scream, and just act like a fool. I’ve read that personalities do not alter with alcohol so the guilt is so great on my shoulders….
My boyfriend and I went to a wedding for his family last week. And we already got a message ab how I made his brother uncomfortable because I tugged on his pocket and lied ab us liking each other in childhood. I also talked to his mom in the bathroom which ended with me in tears and angry at my boyfriend when he had done nothing wrong…. I’m so embarrassed about my behavior and so scared of what text messages will roll in next over the next few days and weeks. It’s definitely not the worst I have behaved but it was a horribly inappropriate place to get as blasted as I did to not remember anything. I sincerely tried so hard to pace myself and drink plenty of water. But every time I promise myself and everyone around me I won’t get crazy again and every time I fail. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to say no to alcohol or why it’s so hard to not drink until obliteration. And I’m so scared that deep down I am this deceptive crazy non-committed person. I’m hurting for myself and for my boyfriend, he’s my favorite person in this world and I feel like I let him down again.
Hey, every story is different but I’ve been in a very similar situation. It took me a while to get to the point where I couldn’t have another night like that. It’s really hard to admit that you have a problem with alcohol, because the world likes to reinforce the ‘drunken mess’ narrative. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth, alcoholism is a mental illness that unfortunately can lead to some not so great behavior. Not saying you are an alcoholic that is up to you to say, but if you don’t want to black out again, you have the choice to change that. I’m 25 and I’ve only been sober 7 months, and I’m not going to sugar coat it it’s been really hard, but in a way that is so rewarding. You’ll know what I mean when you see it for yourself doll. You’re not alone at all- and there are lots of resources out there to change you’re life.
Stay strong you got this!
Your an alcoholic. Harsh but simple answer. Theres no magic fix other than to stop drinking.
You know I’ve also heard people say that substances don’t change people’s personalities, and I’ve seen enough in my life now to know that clearly that is rubbish. We are who we are in the moment, and that is always changing. People become different people when they use drugs (including alcohol) to excess. It’s important to know that sober-you is not an aggressive person. But it’s also important to know that drunk-you is, and that there is no lower “safe” limit of alcohol for people like us.
Maybe when you were young, the alcohol served some kind of a purpose to your younger self in however a dysfunctional way - maybe that young person was trying to self-medicate, or trying to be popular. But it’s OK now not to do that anymore. You’re older now and stronger in the world. You can give yourself permission to stop now.
I wish you all the very best in your health and happiness, and in the way ahead.
I went out with friends on Saturday. It started with a girls dinner and then we met up with our guy friends after. I had had a particularly stressful day and was feeling a bit anxious already. I started with a pregame at one friend’s house doing a couple tequila shots. We ate dinner and I had two martinis. Not the wisest decision. I also think for some reason when I’m around everyone in my friend group and we are bar hopping my mind switches to binge drink mode. That’s what we have done much of in the past. I rarely binge drink now or get blackout drunk anymore so I felt extremely anxious and hungover the next day. After dinner we went to a bar and took lots of Jell-O shots and I just randomly started crying for no reason. Not making a scene or anything but still. Embarrassing. The night is spotty though. I remember going to another bar and signing up for karaoke but it was too late. I’m thankful that we left before I got a chance to sing. After the second bar we went to a friends house and continued drinking. I remember having an u comfortable conversation with a friend and spilling too much. Getting too personal and sad. This is pretty out of character for me but I’m going to take it as a sign to reach out to my therapist. This never would have happened had I not drank so much but I was already feeling kind of low so it definitely didn’t help. Anyway I know my conversation with said friend left a bad taste in her mouth as she thought I was insulting her. I just feel so embarrassed because we were supposed to be celebrating and I really killed the mood with my belligerence. It’s been two days so I’m not feeling as much self loathing but boy was yesterday rough. Sometimes I wonder if I may have a problem because I do love a drink.
I am 21 years old and moved to a new country on my own just 3 months ago. Before moving away from home, I only ever drank with my family. And never over-board. I would never go out to drink with friends. Since moving to this new country, I have been drinking past my limit. The first time I went past my limit, I was with a new friend and we shared a couple of bottles of soju. She basically had to carry me home. I didn't black out and my mind was still in-tack, but I was incapable of walking on my own. The second time I went over my limit, I was at another new friend's house and I basically just fell asleep after drinking too much. After a few hours, I was able to walk myself home. Both times, my speech was completely slurred. However, this Saturday was the worst. And it is definitely my reason for never drinking again. The day started off nice and I was not even planning on drinking at night. I had gone out with my friend (the one who dragged me home after soju fiasco) and we were just exploring the city. She then tells me that she wants to meet up with 3 other friends and asks if I want to go drinking with them. So of course I agreed because I am sad and lonely in this new country. I rather be with people than be alone. We get to the bar and they have an "all you can drink" for 90min for just around $15. I did not want to do it but for some reason I agreed. Of course, I ordered the strongest drinks on the menu. I think I had about 3 Jack Daniel's cocktails, 3 sake cocktails, one tiny bottle of sake, and like 2 other drinks that I cannot remember. I was able to go to the bathroom before leaving, even though I was a bit wobbly. Thankfully, I was taking the train home with 2 of the people who went. I thought I could walk, but I couldn't even stand straight. I guess I somewhat blacked out because I cannot remember the 15min walk to the train station. Waiting for the train, I fell on my butt and the two friends had to hold me up. I wanted to stop talking but I couldn't stop blurting things out in 3 different languages. I could feel people staring at me but I couldn't control my speech. Then, one of the friends got off on his stop and I was left with one friend. I sat down next to an old man on the train and my friend stood next to me. The second I sat down, I knew I was gonna throw up. I really tried holding it back but with the swaying of the train, it was no good. I threw up all over my hands and just looked down on it, not sure what to do. I felt bad for the guy sitting next to me and wanted to apologize but now I couldn't even speak. Some kind lady came up to my friend and gave her wipes and a bag, and my friend cleaned my hands. I then threw up again into the bag. Although I can't remember anyone's faces, the train was full of people and they were all silent. I am a foreigner living in a monocultural society, so I stand out regardless of what I do. After throwing up in a train at 11pm, I am sure they were all watching. I hope no one from my work saw me. My friend was kind enough to walk me home. I apologized to her and thanked her the next day. She cleaned up my throw up and took me home so I really do admire her kindness. When I got home, I just quickly threw water on my face, took off my contacts, and changed into pajamas. I woke up around 7 times throughout the night to throw up. I was throwing up until 9am. It was really bad. I did not know I could get to that point of drunkenness, but now I know I am not invincible to the consequences of alcohol. I just feel embarrassed, not because a bunch of strangers saw me, or because maybe a coworker could've seen me, or because my new friend saw me like this, but because I know have to live with this memory of myself. I can't imagine telling this story to my future husband. I called my mom and sister, but I didn't tell them about how I threw up in the train. Even so, they sounded very disappointed in me. It is just so embarrassing that I let myself get to this point and threw up on public transport. Today, I cried after trying to make myself feel better about what happened. It is extremely difficult and isolating living in this new country, but I now know I do not want to seek refuge in alcohol anymore. I only drink when I go out to feel an emotion that is not sadness or loneliness. I don't even really like the taste of alcohol, Coca-Cola tastes better to me than any sort of alcoholic drink. I will not be drinking again. I am making this promise to myself.
I have had a few instances where I’ve gotten blackout drunk. My drunken behavior can range from super happy silly drunk to mean to promiscuous. The other night my bf and I went to a friends house. My bf wasn’t drinking but his friend is a big drinker and offered us a drink. I had a couple of shots and was fine and then his other friend came over. I kept drinking and eventually went past the point of no return. When my boyfriend was ready to leave I begged him like a child to stay. I was very loud and obnoxious saying “please baby I never get to go out”. He refused and when he wanted me to go to the car I ran from him, jumping his friends fence (three times), hiding from him behind the kitchen counter and wrestling him when he tried to grab me. We ended up getting into it pretty bad and yelling obscenities at each other in between our wrestling match. Mind you his friend had a baby sleeping in the other room. I didn’t want to leave so badly that I was kicking and screaming when he tried to pick me up and putting my feet on the walls and door. When I got home I called his friend and said we are coming back and going to go to the beach! I was blackout drunk at that point and luckily stayed home where my boyfriend took care of me. It was very embarrassing. I woke up to bruises all over my body and filled with regret and shame. I’m worried about how his friends view me now.
The first time I ever got supper drunk an could hardly remember the next day with a bad hangover was just a couple nights ago during the after party to our company’s Christmas party. God, I’m really ashamed to admit that I do things that could totally get misinterpreted, even with good intentions, but I know better that boundaries will have to get set from now on. So first of all one of the coworkers out of the 5 of us who hung out in the after party has expressed interest of me in a sexually way completely sober a year ago, and he is a manger. But at the time I was very adamant we remained as friends and he was way older than me, I am in my 20s, he is well into his 40s. I told a close friend and coworker about it out of concern and she’s kept an eye on me when he’s around since. Gods though, if she wasn’t sober and another coworker of ours who is nice but tends to spread rumors weren’t sober I’d be scared of being alone with him. I was stupid and for some reason the two male coworkers in our group kept talking about sex and my stupid mouth would chime in like, ‘oh yeah I’ve done that’. Wtf, I’m horrified to admit that but sober me of course was nowhere to help me that night. I only found out from the two sober chicks who eventually brought me home, but not without one of the guys trying to kiss me, and supposedly I was giving one of them a foot message and creeping up his leg? Look, I’d message a home girls foot any day but a mans?!? Ugh, worse yet it was to the one coworker I was pretty scared to be alone with because I’m pretty sure he would have tried something and my brain wouldn’t have known better. Thank god though nothing but embarrassing conversations and awkward kisses were had but work will definitely be a bit stressful tomorrow, if you’re going to be irresponsible like me, please at the very least have people who will look out for you. It could’ve been way worse than it was, this I will have to deal with now everyday till maybe I find another job that isn’t a constant reminder. I’ve given away all of my liquor in the hose since and swore to keep a clean head unless I want to continue to be miserable.