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It was Thanksgiving 2008 and I had recently completed two weeks of inpatient hospitalization for anorexia nervosa. Even though I had eaten what felt like thousands of calories daily and had been connected for ten days to a TPN (a line that goes through your vein and is placed directly over your heart pumping nutrients and fats into the body), I had gained very little weight during the hospitalization and was still terrified of eating most foods.
Then, along comes Thanksgiving and the annual family food spread. I took one look at the table and froze, unable to think about how I could possibly eat even one bit of that food. All I saw was FAT; it was my anorexic brain's worst nightmare come to life. However, I have since learned how to survive and even enjoy the holidays by working through my fears and anxiety.
Ah, the holiday season. Families coming together in joy and harmony, stuffing turkeys (and ourselves) full of all manner of deliciousness. Children singing and reveling in the magic and mystery and--
Who am I kidding? The last two months of the year can be trying for any parent, but for parents of children with mental illness, they can be far removed from the Rockwellian scenes we once envisioned.
Over the years I’ve been treated for bipolar, I’ve come to the conclusion that when you sleep and when you wake (your circadian rhythm) is key in stability and wellness. If you do not wake up at the same time every morning and go to bed at the same time every night you are in for a world of hurt.
This is mostly my opinion though. There is some research on the matter, but nothing as conclusive as I feel about it. Or at least nothing that I knew about until I heard of the Chicago Psychiatry Associates’ Program in Psychiatric Chronotherapy. (Sounds complicated, but it isn’t. Stay with me.)
And by intimacy I don't necessarily mean sex but sure, there is that.
Have you heard my heart? It's beating, healing, wanting, aching, anticipating. It's telling you I hear you, see you, feel you. You aren't lost.
And it's telling me the same.
It's somewhere in the maze of all these words scrolling down yet another page. Not even a page you can hold between your fingers. Maybe just keys to prop you up as you listen, fighting the panic, and feeling like you're slowly coming unstuck, again.
Listen. You can cope with anxiety.
Anytime I'm traveling by car - whether I'm the driver or a passenger, whether it's a quick jaunt to the store or a half-day road trip - detailed visions of gruesome car accidents repeatedly interrupt my thoughts. These intrusive images are involuntary and a common symptom of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (typically comorbid in those with dissociative identity disorder). Until recently, I didn't understand why these particular intrusive images plague me so. I've never been in a serious car accident. It surprised me to learn what now seems obvious: any form of potential danger can trigger PTSD symptoms.
You may feel like the world and, especially work, is a difficult place for you and you’re oversensitive to “normal life.” This happens to many people because their depression and bipolar symptoms are triggered by outside events. Triggers for depression include: poor diet, lack of exercise, relationship issues, staying at home all day, lack of contact with people, a lack of purpose and unusual as it sounds, vacations can trigger depression.
Like most parents, Laurie Oulette wants her son to be healthy and happy. When he's sick, struggling, or in trouble she wants to help him get well. But since his father's suicide last December, Laurie's 14-year-old son has become immersed in a video game addiction.
Most of us have been programmed to say ‘yes’ since childhood. When someone asked you to do something, especially a grown-up, you knew you had better do it or there would be serious consequences, mister. That same frame of mind has carried over into adulthood with many people dreading the word ‘no’ because we want to please people, be polite, and be seen in a positive light.
Earlier this month, I wrote about how to stay on psych medication. I gave tips and tricks to help you stay on track. In today's video, I show you my own twist on psych medication reminders.
Part of having a child with a chronic condition is self-education. Whether you want to or not, you become a sort of layman's expert on whatever ails your child. I'm no exception--I know more about Bob's Bipolar and ADHD diagnoses (and others) than I ever wanted to know. The most frightening thing I've learned, however, is how little we actually know.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...