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I'd like to thank all of you for the kind words and shared stories regarding last week's posts regarding my son, Bob's first inpatient psychiatric facility admission. I have more to share on that matter, but I'm returning to the present today for the ongoing saga of the 504 Plan.
I wrote a post in October entitled Being a Mental Health Patient Requires Patience and want to expand on this as it is such a prominent part of recovering from mental Illness. I don't know about you, but patience is certainly not a virtue that I possess.
What the Hell is Patience?
Bette Midler's hit song of 1973, "(You Got to Have) Friends" includes the following lyrics:
Standing at the end of the road, boys
Waiting for my new friends to come
I don't care if I'm hungry or bored
I'm gonna get me some of them
For so long, these words described the life of my son Ben, as he restarted his emotional life after multiple hospitalizations with a diagnosis of Schizophrenia.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to win an argument with your abusive spouse? How would it feel to watch their face turn thoughtful as they realize your point is valid? Wouldn't it be great if your lover admitted defeat, sucked it up, and took one for the team? Yeah!
But hey - if you're in a relationship with an abusive spouse, that's probably not going to happen. And if it does happen, if you do win one time, you will pay for it either through their silence and withdrawal, their undermining, their outright rage or some other type of abuse.
There is no such thing as winning an argument with an abusive person. But it may be more important to understand that there's really no reason to win many arguments at all.
As I work, I battle the stigma around mental illness. It feels like often, all day, every day, it's the only thing I do. But I do it because I feel it's important. I feel it matters. I feel it changes people's lives.
And one of the misconceptions I've heard multiple times recently is about bipolar and mental illness diagnosis. That by accepting a diagnosis of a mental illness this somehow removes the responsibility from the individual for their own wellness. That, somehow, a mental illness diagnosis makes the patient weak because now they are looking for someone to "save" them or "cure" them.
Well nothing could be farther from the truth. Getting a mental illness diagnosis is only the first step in what a patient must do in order to recover.
I woke up in a cold sweat, terrified. My heart was racing and I was fighting nausea. I was still wearing the clothes I came home in the day before. I reached for my cell phone and quickly called 911. I was panicking and it was difficult for me to talk. I explained what was going on while the dispatcher tried to calm me and get me to take my pulse. Soon the paramedics and police were at my home.
I was freezing as they wheeled me out to the waiting ambulance. At the hospital, I told them that I had been in an area hospital for seven days for re-feeding and detox from alcohol and prescription drugs. I noticed a slight change in their attitude as they listened. Soon, I was told that it was caused by withdrawal from benzodiazepines, or tranquilizers. The ER staff then discharged me at 1:30 a.m.
I arrived home, confused and wondering if I would ever get better.
“Starting your own business is like riding a roller coaster. There are highs and lows and every turn you take is another twist. The lows are really low, but the highs can be really high. You have to be strong, keep your stomach tight, and ride along with the roller coaster that you started.” ~ Lindsay Manseau
Did you know that adults with ADHD are 300% more likely to be entrepreneurs? With the current economy, more and more people are deciding to create their own success by venturing into entrepreneurial business.
If you read my previous post detailing Bob's first inpatient admission to a psychiatric facility, you know I felt horrible about the decision, but hopeful Bob would get help. I also thought the hospital staff would see me as a concerned mother who wanted the best for her son. I had no idea what was actually in store for me and my husband.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. So what does one do for depression? I’m not really sure, but there seems to be ample evidence of the importance of good nutrition in battling depression.
That’s not such good news for me, and I imagine others who suffer from depression feel the same way. It’s hard enough to make sure I take my various medications at the right time every day. Add the stress of balancing work and family—including three active kids who play sports year-round—and eating well ranks pretty low on the list.
When you are in treatment for a mental illness, you’ve likely undergone a certain amount of talk therapy. If you’re well into recovery, you may very well have experienced years of therapy and, hopefully, a measure of success at uncovering and eliminating negative patterns and gaining self-awareness. So, if you’ve walked the path to psychological enlightenment, disease management and overall mental health, can you have a romantic relationship with someone who’s never been in therapy?
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...