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A lifetime ago, as I sat on my bed unable to put my feet on the floor and get going, I cried to myself, "I am better than this! I deserve more than this!" I knew intellectually that my relationship with my husband Will caused me great harm, but I couldn't quite get my emotions and my mind to align. My head told me to RUN, but my emotions cemented my feet in place. The best I could to get out of that bed was to tell myself that today I would get through to Will. Today would be the day I led Helen Keller to the water pump . . . today Will would understand. Today, my husband would change and we would break through the walls between us. Today I would get it right.
Those struggling with drug addiction may have people around who understand or relate to their situation. Even some with severe depression and anxiety have some kind of support system, since action can be taken quickly if willing to get help. Alcohol addicts also have meetings and groups where they can discuss their frustrations in a social, private setting. What about self-harmers?
I would bet my prized record collection that if you live with a mental illness you have heard those words. Probably more than once. Probably more times than you care to recall. But stick with me on this one and keep reading. . .
Self-Care is all about doing good things for yourself. Having Fun is what summertime is all about. But, parenting a child with mental illness doesn't leave much room for fun. So you have to make room for it. Just as your child needs food, shelter, an education as well as fun, you do, too.
The American Medical Association has named a new disease. Obesity.
Truth by definition is absolute. It is definitive. It is what it is and that is it. However, I have come to believe that not much is true in the literal sense. What we believe is perception, not the truth.
Much of the anxiety around speaking up for yourself comes from the lack of experience one has in doing so. It can be really hard to practice self-respect when you don’t have the skills, have had experiences in the past that went poorly, or haven’t had much practice.
Originally the purpose of this blog, "Creative Schizophrenia", was to create a new form of art, that had not previously been done before.  To make a new style of writing based upon irrational thought rather than that of irrational emotions.  To turn Schizophrenia into an art form.  I never intended to be an advocate for people with Schizophrenia nor did I intend to offer support. That was more of an unintended side effect.
Back in 2009, I went to the annual trauma conference in Boston hosted by Bessel van der Kolk. It was a fantastic conference with a slew of professionals presenting on various aspects of and treatments for PTSD. One of the stars of the conference was Neurofeedback (NFB), a process that I didn't know very much about. Many of the presenters shared facts, statistics and applications for NFB and spoke about how effective it was in helping to reduce symptoms of posttraumatic stress. Do you know what NFB is and how it works? Here's a quick overview...
Whether you haven’t self-harmed in years or are currently in the battle, flashbacks of weak moments always pop up. It's inevitable that you're going to see a scar and remember the reason it was put there.  These moments can come from a song, a place or even a person. Such as an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

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Elizabeth Caudy
Hi, boo-- Thanks for your comment. I am 100% certain I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been diagnosed with this for decades. Also, you're right, gaining weight isn't the end of the world, and I work very hard to unlearn my fat phobia. Being a feminist helps with that. Lastly, I am not ableist. Elizabeth.
Pam
Thank you for this. If it helps my daughter I feel blessed. Thank you for sharing your emotions thru poetry.
Mike
Our daughter is 34 and about 1 year ago, something triggered her schizophrenia. She has withdrawn from everyone in her family and most of the world. She has blocked anyone on her phone that she thinks is a threat. Now; not paying her rent or bills and has shut out the landlord who is a friend and wants to help but with no luck. Now they have no choice put to evict her.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
Bob
I would love your advice. I had been texting someone I met on a dating app, we moved to instagram and talked all day everyday for 2 weeks, she told me about having Bipolar Disorder. When I shared some of my struggles she would reply in the sweetest, understanding ways. We had really good, deep talks and started talking about meeting up. I liked her a lot, I feel like we really connected.

On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.

A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.

A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.

I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...
boo
its because it's probably not schizoaffective or bipolar, it's likely autism and meds are making things worse bc its something to adjust to not "fix". also gaining weight isn't the end of the world, try unlearning your fat phobia and ableism.