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Since I started writing this blog over a year ago, I’ve noticed that I get more and more questions regarding my plans on how to end mental health stigma in my life (What Is Stigma?). Of course, I am honored to receive these questions, but I do not by any means consider myself an expert on the matter. But, here it goes anyway. You can be the judge as to whether I am an expert or not.
Like many other mentally ill people, I include a handful of sane citizens in my inner circle of esteemed friends. I don’t do this because I like them, I don’t do it because I think they have anything to offer me, au contraire mon petit fromage, I do it because my slavish devotion to a facade of political correctness dictates that I must pretend to believe that sane people are as good as folks like us.
(This is nonsense, of course. These Wonder Bread and mayonnaise chomping chumps have been denied the advanced education in life’s rock hard realities mental illness affords and consequently must be tolerated with patience, good humor, and condescension as they muddle through their Romper Room existences.)
So, you've been diagnosed with a mental illness. Now what? You have--perhaps without much grace but with much persistence--come out on the other side. Life is, presumably, better than it was before the diagnosis. But it isn't easy and you are still trying to figure the whole thing out: medications, your new mental health care team, and the future. On the understanding that we have a future outside of mental illness, and it's important to get on with life, to the best of our abilities.
It is an unfortunate reality that some people with bipolar disorder refuse help. And it is an unfortunate reality that this deleteriously affects those in their lives. And it is unfortunate that some people are tied to those that refuse help, such as in the case of a marriage or partnership. So the question is, if you are married to a person with bipolar who refuses to get help for their illness, should you leave them?
Handling eating disorder triggers is your responsibility; an on-going effort that only you can control. I realized the responsibilty again a couple of weeks ago. I attended a dinner party held by one of the mental health related organizations I volunteer for. Seated next to a prominent psychiatrist, I found myself turning down the hostess’ offer of Nutella brownies (Eating Disorder Triggers and Social Events) The psychiatrist looked at me in a funny way when I said to the hostess that I’d pass on her offer.
Between the social expectations of college and the stress of every day life that young adults face, substance use is something that many of us living with bipolar disorder often turn to (Self-Medication Of A Mental Health Problem).
I've been having a really hard time with my ADHD as of late. My medication is out of whack, my school has been harder than ever and my schedule has been bonkers. I've started to find even the most fun activities to be super boring. Television, reading books, being out with friends - all of it is boring! My wife and I have come up with a reward system to try and alleviate some of my boredom.
Despite my own depression and experiences with anxiety and panic over the years, my knowledge of bipolar disorder was very limited. I knew about bipolar disorder and knew about the mood severities associated with it. But, it wasn’t until two years ago, when Catherine Zeta-Jones came out to the public about her battle with bipolar 2 that I even knew there was a bipolar TWO.
This month we are living with fingers crossed.
Ben has had a close call, once again, with his symptoms of schizophrenia. We don't know how it happened, but somehow in late May Ben's med levels began to drop. We saw the usual warning signs (agitation, self-talk, lack of focus, too-forced interactions, loud and constant music in his iPod, lack of desire to engage, etc.) and yet he kept insisting he was "fine" and "nothing is wrong."
But we knew. And we ordered tests. The test result? Med levels near to zero.
So we took new precautions, which unfortunately must include a lockbox for the meds. It feels like we have gone backwards in the quest for Ben's independence. And ours.
Adult ADHD presents unique challenges when it comes to meeting new people. New acquaintances can view your ADHD qualities as fun quirks that will make you a neat new friend, or they might view your quirks as qualities to avoid.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...