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Recovery from, or prevention of, sexual assault - this is our concern, in this pair of videos. As my blog co-author, Michele Rosenthal, has told us, "‘self-efficacy’ refers to one’s ability to feel ‘effective’", and achieving that must be a part of your recovery or prevention project. She also referred us to psychologist Albert Bandura's assertion that self-efficacy derives from one's ability to feel confident in specific situations.
Therapist and author Emily Roberts provides 4 books that build self-esteem and enhance confidence for those who are single and dating.
Letting go of limiting beliefs is tough when you don't know how you're limiting yourself. Anxiety about yourself, life and the world stinks to high heaven. Sometimes the suffering is so constant or so intense we think that life is not worth living if we have to experience such torture. We feel encompassed by our anxiety and sadness that it wraps around our neck and threatens to pull us under with it. Barely having strength to tread water, we wonder why we don't just give up the struggle. And sometimes we almost do. Knowing how to let go of limiting beliefs is the life jacket you need.
Last week, I wrote about what happens when we don’t forgive, and why it might be a good action to take in PTSD recovery. If you’ve come to the conclusion that you might be ready to forgive, the first roadblock to this might be not knowing how or what to do. This week, I’m following up with a very easy process that sets you on the path to forgiveness in a way that maintains your power, safety and control.
Many people with bipolar disorder hold down jobs, just like everyone else. We get up, swear in traffic, survive on coffee and rant about our bosses behind their backs. But people with bipolar disorder or another mental illness have special challenges when it comes to work. We’re sick more often, we need time off for medical appointments and stress affects us more than your average person. Here are a few tips on handling work and bipolar disorder.
My family got together for Labor Day. While we had a good time (my nephews and niece, all age 3 and younger, have discovered water balloons), I left worried about my brother Dan. Dan is depressed because his cat, Elfman, is sick, possibly cancer. He's doted on this cat for twelve years, and was down enough to not have interest in the steak Dad grilled (if you know Dan, you'll know that's serious). It reminded me that some people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may take the loss of a pet especially hard. So here are some tips on how to get through the loss of a "best friend" of the fur variety.
Bipolar symptoms can cause us to do dangerous things (Bipolar and Managing Extreme All Or Nothing Behaviors). Although not suffering bipolar symptoms, a family friend was killed yesterday morning in a work-related accident. He was admired and loved. After learning of the accident, I felt my heart breaking. I live my life as if I am invincible. I drive maniacally and participate in potentially dangerous behaviors, and I do it all while thinking that nothing can possibly hurt me, that I am too young, and that I have so many things to accomplish. Are bipolar symptoms a part of that thinking? Just yesterday, though, our family friend, who was loved and always helping others while doing the things that he loved, was gone in a split second – taken away from us. I'm sure he thought the same things as I do, that nothing could possibly happen to him. That he was too young and had so much to live for.
I live in the great state of Maryland and commute every morning from my fair city to Baltimore, MD. It takes about 45 minutes on the commuter rail and often goes off without a hitch. Then, there are the other mornings when I want to rip my hair out - but, don't, because it's short enough already. What makes certain mornings intolerable? Noisy fellow commuters.
Unconditional love can't make an abuser change. In an abusive relationship, unconditional love sets the stage for more abuse. Even so, many abuse victims believe that unconditional love must make the abuser stop abusing. Nothing is stronger than love, right? Victims think things like: "But I love her (so I stay)." "He had a horrible childhood (so I stay)." "She never learned how to love (so I stay)." "I want to show her that someone in her effing life cares (so I stay)." "He is really sick and has no one else but me (so I stay)." Unfortunately, unconditional love has a razor sharp edge that will make you bleed. It could even kill you. Nothing is stronger than love. So wasting your empathy on an abuser by affording him or her with unconditional love can be your death sentence.
Possibly the most important depression coping principle is "Know Thyself." You absolutely must know what triggers your depression and what helps you to relieve it. As a person with depression, knowing myself is essential to my continued well-being, and ignoring the "Know Thyself" depression coping principle could lead to the worst end

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Comments

Elizabeth Caudy
Hi, boo-- Thanks for your comment. I am 100% certain I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been diagnosed with this for decades. Also, you're right, gaining weight isn't the end of the world, and I work very hard to unlearn my fat phobia. Being a feminist helps with that. Lastly, I am not ableist. Elizabeth.
Pam
Thank you for this. If it helps my daughter I feel blessed. Thank you for sharing your emotions thru poetry.
Mike
Our daughter is 34 and about 1 year ago, something triggered her schizophrenia. She has withdrawn from everyone in her family and most of the world. She has blocked anyone on her phone that she thinks is a threat. Now; not paying her rent or bills and has shut out the landlord who is a friend and wants to help but with no luck. Now they have no choice put to evict her.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
Bob
I would love your advice. I had been texting someone I met on a dating app, we moved to instagram and talked all day everyday for 2 weeks, she told me about having Bipolar Disorder. When I shared some of my struggles she would reply in the sweetest, understanding ways. We had really good, deep talks and started talking about meeting up. I liked her a lot, I feel like we really connected.

On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.

A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.

A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.

I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...
boo
its because it's probably not schizoaffective or bipolar, it's likely autism and meds are making things worse bc its something to adjust to not "fix". also gaining weight isn't the end of the world, try unlearning your fat phobia and ableism.