Anxiety and Overthinking Everything

Hi Sheila,
I love your comment! :) I think that very few people actually like the sound of their own voice, so I appreciate this. Hmmm...gardening can be effective in reducing anxiety, so maybe videos on growing cucumbers would be okay!

Hi Allen,
Tornado is an absolutely ideal word for this overthinking. Anchoring ourselves during the overthinking storm is important. And thinking of this as a storm we can prepare for, weather, reduce its impact, and start over is a good way to look at this. :)

Hi Laure,
Anxiety has a nasty habit of telling us we sound weird. It also makes us question things and people. You've described some of anxiety's tricks very well. I get what you mean about multiple choice tests (true/false, too). I always overthought them too. Do you have something that you do or a place where you go where anxiety doesn't make you overthink? Engaging in something meaningful (and safe) is a great way to give yourself a break from anxiety. Talking to someone about your anxiety can be helpful, too. Know that you're not alone, and you're not weird. :)

Hi Caroline,
The "mind override" you describe (great term, by the way) is a very frustrating experience, especially when thoughts never seem to slow down. Everyone's experiences are unique, so of course I won't claim to have had your exact experience, but I will say that I've dealt with various forms of racing thoughts and know how intrusive they can be. There are absolutely things that you can do to help this, and you don't have to live with this mind override forever. Your idea of seeing a doctor is wise. I would never want to do harm to you by trying to state what you're experiencing in an online setting where it's impossible to gather all of the important information (including lab tests -- a doctor might want to do blood work, etc. to rule out various medical conditions). A while back, I wrote an article that included a checklist for talking with a doctor. Not quite knowing how to put things is a very common concern. The article addresses talking to a doctor about medication, but it applies to situations beyond medication. You can use the concepts to help you communicate with a doctor. Don't give up. There really are ways to overcome all of this. Here's the link to the checklist: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/11/talking-to-your-doctor-abou…

Any time, Caroline. Very best of luck to you as you proceed. Good for you for taking charge of your wellbeing!

Hi Shannon,
Yes -- even facial expressions! Tone, expressions, posture, positioning; so many things other than "just" the words. You're not alone. Overthinking is a very common aspect of any type of anxiety. How often to you have a chance to check in with your doctor? Sometimes, medication actually makes things worse, depending on the individual person. It might be something to ask your doctor. Share what's going on and how you feel you are changing. Sometimes, adjusting dosages or medications can make a difference. It's definitely needs to be done with a doctor, though, because changing medication on your own, even if it seems like a small change, can be very dangerous. You know yourself and how you want to be. Don't stop pursuing it!

Hello gurll,
Death and the unknown of what follows are common sources of fear and anxiety. Then, if we feel guilty for questioning things like this -- like we should just accept what we've been taught -- our anxiety seems to increase, and depression can increase, too. Sometimes the act of giving yourself permission to question and explore can help relieve anxiety and depression. Of course this doesn't completely eradicate depression and bring back happiness, but it's often a powerful first step.

Hi Ann!
Thank you so much for your comments and feedback! Everything I write -- articles/posts for HealthyPlace and my novels (that all relate to mental illness/health) -- comes from the heart and from experience. I try to share helpful information, ideas, etc. Like not overthinking. Anxiety definitely makes people, myself included, overthink things. And when you have so much going on in your life like preparing for your husband's retirement, anxiety's games tend to get worse. I hope that the information here truly does help!

Hello Ms Bags,
Overthinking everything is something that can be both caused by anxiety and something that increases anxiety. It's a vicious cycle that is maddening. Your description of what it's doing to you is spot-on. Your keen awareness of this is a very good thing and is actually the first step in overcoming it. You're right that the readjusting your thinking aspect of it is difficult. Know that it's a process, often a slow one, but progressive nonetheless. Working with a therapist who practices cognitive-behavior therapy can be very helpful. CBT can be done in self-help format (there are many great books out there; just a search at a bookstore (off- or online) or library will yield a lot of results), but it can be slower going. That said, there are things you can start right now. Two key things to do: be very intentional about noticing and catching your thoughts and then challenge/question them and replace them with something more realistic; additionally, focus on joy--identify what reduces stress and increases happiness. Do more of that. Concentrate on making good moments throughout your day. Together, these steps are an important part of changing your thinking.

Hey man. Honestly, I was in the exact same position. For me, my mind thinks about anything that I could use to think that she doesn't either like me, or her feelings are fading, or anything like that. The best thing I did to counter this was to keep a journal of all of the nice things that she did for me. Any time that a thought came to my head thinking that she did something against me, or ignored me, or anything like that, I just would counter that and think of all of the positive things she has done. I mean why would this person want to spend so much time with me. Why would she have done X or Y or Z if she didn't really like to spend time with me. The journal allows you to permanently mark things down. If you write things down, however small, your mind will start to focus more on the things that are positive. Every time that a negative thought comes, say to yourself that " I am experiencing anxiety because she did X, but I know that's not what she meant. She likes me because of Y, and that makes me happy". Hope that helps a bit.

Hi Bethany,
Anxiety has a way of interfering in life and enjoyment, doesn't it? I've been there, and I can relate. Constantly worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, overthinking everything, and more are exhausting. As far as being "normal," there really is no standard. It's a made-up concept that comes from the fact that everyone wants to fit in and be accepted. You can start to remove that thought from your mind! But it will keep coming back, so be patient with yourself. I have found that two excellent approaches to anxiety/all mental health issues are acceptance and commitment therapy and solution-focused therapy. You might want to consider looking into these to see if you like their approaches. Know that anxiety doesn't have to bother you forever. :)

Wow this is so relevant to me it’s scary!

Hi Cindy,
I'm glad you liked the video. Thank you for your feedback! The experiences you describe are a very normal part of anxiety. For years people told me, "Tanya, quit creating problems for yourself." I made so many problems for myself in my head, reading into expressions, tone of voice, little nuances of behavior, what people said or didn't say, and more. I finally realized that this really wasn't getting me to where I wanted to be in life. Lessening the habit (I can't honestly say completely breaking the habit, because I still catch myself reverting to overthinking everything) was a process that took time, but it was well worth it. I began catching myself overthinking or over-analyzing, and then I'd start to consider that my thoughts were wrong. We can't know with certainty what someone else is thinking, so we can't know with certainty that we're being judged. Considering that they might be thinking about something that had nothing to do with me was helpful in distancing myself from the problems I created in my own head.

Hello Lyle,
I can relate to everything you describe. I haven't been successful in stopping my brain from doing this, but I have discovered things that stop it from being so bothersome. Have you tried returning your senses and your thoughts to the present moment when you notice your brain redlining at full speed? Reconnecting to what is going on around you, day or night, can be very helpful. At first, it doesn't work for long (and sometimes not much at all), but with practice you can train your brain to focus more on the sights, smells, sounds, and actions around you than it does on overprocessing every little thought or sense. In time, you'll be present in the moment for longer periods of time. Your brain might race off in the background, but you'll be separated from its behavior, grounded in the present, and won't get dragged along with it.

Hi Keith,
Over-thinking and rumination are very close cousins. Rumination involves over-thinking. Over-thinking isn't always the same as ruminating. With over-thinking, the mind takes off, often analyzing ad nauseam. Even something simple as buying a card or an item in a grocery store can involve over-thinking. I've been known to analyze nutrition labels and ingredients lists in an attempt to decide if the item in question is something I should buy; then, I'll analyze the fact that I'm analyzing the label. It's annoying. Rumination does involve this type of over-thinking, but it's tied to mulling over the same thing repeatedly. Worrying over a perceived mistake day and night for a period of time, for example, is both over-thinking and rumination. An animal that has multiple stomachs and regurgitates food in order to re-digest it, such as a cow, is called a ruminant because they chew over the same thing more than once. That's a good way to distinguish rumination from other types of thinking. I must emphasize that I'm not calling people cows! We are higher-order species that have the privilege of ruminating over thoughts rather than food. Lucky us. Hopefully this helps. I'm glad you mentioned this.

Hello Faheem,
You point out something very common (and frustrating): anxiety doesn't always stay the same over time. Often, just as we have our specific type of anxiety under control, a new form of anxiety pops up. When that happens, separating yourself from your anxiety in general, staying mindful in and connected to the present moment, clearly defining what you want in your life (rather than being stuck in thinking about what you don't want, like anxiety), and planning intentional action to achieve your goals and live according to your values are all very effective ways to live well, first in spite of anxiety and then without it. The therapy that teaches how to do this is called acceptance and commitment therapy. This article is a great introduction: http://bit.ly/2bnpW6v . Books are available on the topic, too.
Given that you've been thinking about death, it's very important to seek help. The Suicide Prevention Lifeline is an excellent starting point. They are available around the clock, and their number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, where they have information and a chat option if you don't like the phone. Please give them a call or visit their website. They exist for a reason!
(Also, the symptoms of anxiety can definitely mimic heart attacks and strokes, and it's not uncommon for people to fear that one of these is happening.)

Faheem. Keep going. Millions like us suffer from depression and anxiety. Just World and local news is enough to question mankind. I have found keeping good friends and exercise are helpful. So is expelling those negative thoughts as fast as possible.

Hi Stanley,
The notion of wearing out the brain is a great description of what those of us who overthink things often wonder about. Rest assured, the human brain is amazing and can't be worn out from thinking, anxiety, or both. Sometimes when people have many different things to balance at the same time, such as the four different talents you mention, it can become too much. This has nothing to do with intelligence/lack of it or talent/lack of it. It has to do with the fact that the brain can process a finite number of things at once before becoming stressed. It won't wear out, but it can become overwhelmed. This affects all areas of functioning. Sometimes people find it helpful to chose fewer things on which to focus at once. Also, seeing a therapist can help you manage anxiety. Think of these as a way of resetting, of starting over with your thoughts.

Hi Noah,
Thanks for your feedback! I'm happy this article helped you feel more serene. There is great comfort for all of us in knowing that we're not alone and that what we're experiencing isn't a personal flaw. That's one of the main reasons HealthyPlace.com and Anxiety-Schmanxiety exist. I hope you keep coming back. :)

Hi Stu,
Thanks for your comment and feedback! Love the analogy to Madonna's video. I'm going to go find that and watch it again. My own anxiety was exacerbated by a TBi, so I can relate somewhat (we're all different, of course). I experienced anxiety before the brain injury, but it wasn't a problem. It became a problem after the injury. (The TBI also led to a diagnosis of bipolar disorder.) Feeling like a different person is a common sentiment expressed by people with TBI. The essence of "you" is still there. You're just on an adventure to redefine some things. Including dealing with anxiety!

Hello Destin!
Thank you for your feedback. I'm so happy that this was helpful to you in the moment. I overthink things and tend to create all sorts of problems that feel very real but aren't at all. Using an object has helped me a great deal -- now it's just automatic. I'm glad it's useful for you, too!