If this is your first time attempting recovery from your eating disorder, a lot of what an eating disorder dietitian will help you with is understanding why your body needs to be fed what it does. For a while now, your mind has convinced you that your body does or doesn't need that or fats are the devil or white bread makes you fat or whatever. None of it's true. Food is just fuel. And every macronutrient (protein, fat, carbohydrate) has a very specific purpose in your body -- you need all of them every day in order to maintain a healthy, functioning body and brain. The dietition you see in eating disorder recovery is an important person on your treatment team.

A few people have recently asked me how I deal with negative talk about body image when comments are made around me.  While the following five tips are my ways of coping, I think they are universal enough to perhaps help you, too, when you find yourself in these types of situations:

So, you've made the decision to recover from your eating disorder -- awesome!  Now what?  Everything is puppies and rainbows and unicorns and all you have to do is eat, right? Well, yes, you have to eat (sorry, no way around that one!), but it's not really about what you're doing necessarily - but about what you're NOT doing. You're not restricting, you're not overexercising, you're not bingeing, you're not purging, you're not taking x, y, and z pills. And you are going to want to do all of those things (and more) during the course of your eating disorder recovery.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about my breakthroughs in eating disorder recovery over the past 5 years. A recent major breakthrough happened just this past Spring. I find it ironic, because up until then, I felt very confident I was recovered from bulimia. But after the passing of a family member I deeply loved and cared for in late May, and while I was mourning that loss, I experienced a great deal of pain and sadness. Both were triggering my eating disorder, threatening the breakthroughs I've experienced in eating disorder recovery.

On Tuesday, I started studies for my Master's degree.  (In expressive arts therapy, if you were wondering.)  And around the country, schools and universities are returning to session and one of the most common "get-to-know-you" questions is "What did you do this summer?" If you were lucky enough to go to an eating disorder treatment center during the summer months, or during a school break, you might be able to make something up. But what if you're in a career and just had to take off three or six months for eating disorder treatment? How do you explain that?

Hey everyone!  I wanted to share with you all a couple of letters that I wrote to my body, just to show you the progression towards body acceptance.  In my last post, I talked a bit about the long road to body acceptance.  It certainly doesn't happen overnight.  Patricia recently shared a letter to her body and I thought I would do the same.  Twice.  In almost every treatment center I've been in, I've had to write a letter to my body.  The two I share in this video were written almost exactly one year apart.

All survivors have their war stories and I am no exception. In my case, the battlefield was my body and the enemy was the bully in my head, the mean girl who told me over the years I was unpretty, boring, fat, lazy and not smart. My eating disorder wasn’t a phase. It was a disease born in the corners of my mind that caused me to cycle through endless episodes of bingeing, purging and starvation.

There is hardly a man or woman in the modern world who doesn’t have some area of their body that they dislike. Body image issues are not just for those of us with eating disorders. The difference is, where the normal eater might think something like, “Oh, I should watch my portion sizes or go on a walk a few days a week,” those of us with eating disorders automatically scream “Run! Starve! Binge! Purge! Get rid of every ounce of fat on your body!” This is only exacerbated by the fact that many of us with eating disorders also have body dysmorphic disorder, meaning that we have an inaccurate view of our bodies.

Speaking out about having recovered from an eating disorder has been very rewarding to me. I have been getting involved with mental health related organizations in my community and I share aspects of my life as a person who has recovered from bulimia. Writing the Surviving ED blog has been very inspiring too. 

I have had an eating disorder for fully half of my life. I’ve spent nearly as many years in eating disorder treatment as I did in college. I write a blog about eating disorders and recovery. So it’s easy to believe the lie that I am Jessica, the recovering and/or relapsing anorexic. It’s easy for any of us to believe that our eating disorder is a huge part of who we are. No, not just a huge part – but who we are in our entirety.