I'm Alexa Poe – a 20-something student and mental health advocate, and the author of Colored Blue. I experienced early onset bipolar II disorder at the age of 12, and was also diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder later. I have traveled a rough and winding road – years of trying dozens of medications and starting college with a mood disorder and severe anxiety. However, I have found effective medications over the course of my treatment, and I have been in therapy for a few years.

It's time to say goodbye. School starts June 1st. It’s nearly here. I can’t believe it. I’m both excited and nervous. Will I be able to keep up? It’s due to this nervousness that I’ve decided that I’m going to leave the blogging world.

Bipolar Disorder can kick you to the curb. It can be demanding and dominating, but I will not give in. I will continue my fight and I will be victorious. Nothing will stand in my way. Not even myself.

This was one of the first books that I read shortly after being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I wanted to be sure that I was diagnosed correctly. Coincidentally enough, I have not been correctly diagnosed by my current psychiatric nurse. She says that I'm a Bipolar II and I think I'm Bipolar I, according to the DSM-IV-TR. She told me once that it didn't matter as long as the treatment took care of my episodes. But it's the new edition, the DSM-V, that has really grabbed my attention.

The anniversary of my father’s passing is nearly here. It’s given me pause to reflect on what my life’s been like this last year. I went into a deep depression that lasted from September to February. I had a short lived hypomanic episode, too. I would say that I wish my year had been better, but it could’ve been worse.

My faith has waned. I don’t have faith that I’ll be able to complete a successful school semester due to my recent bipolar episode. If it happens again, I need to be prepared and I just don’t know how to do that. I’m worried that I won’t be able to do the work that I need to do. In my head I hear myself scream, “Failure!”

I'm feeling better. The anger and paranoia are gone. I guess I must have been at the end of my hypomanic phase. I'm so glad! It was a minor diversion compared to what it could have been. I guess the medicine made it lighter. It would've been better if the medicine had made it stay away. I wonder if they make bipolar medicines like that for me?

I’m feeling better. The anger and paranoia are gone. I guess I must have been at the end of my hypomanic phase. I’m so glad! It was a minor diversion compared to what it could have been. I guess the medicine made it lighter. It would’ve been better if the medicine had made it stay away. I wonder if they make bipolar medicines like that for me?

Cristina describes what it's like to be in a hypomanic episode. Watch this bipolar video on hypomania.

I do believe I’m in hypomania. *Sigh* This isn’t the euphoric kind of mania. It’s been filled with anger and paranoia. My first impulse was to call my doctor, but how much more can the bipolar medication dosage be adjusted? Isn’t it enough that my hands shake when I hold them out?