I haven’t felt like the best bipolar me in over two weeks. The Lithium finally kicked in and I was sick. I was nauseous after my night time meal and so drowsy during the day that I could barely keep my eyes open. I let it continue for two weeks. I thought that I just had to get used to it. Fortunately, I got tired of it and decided to do a little research. I found some information on Lithium and nausea that suggested that I split up my dosage into morning and night instead of just dosing at night. The results were amazing. I started to become the best bipolar me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to be the best bipolar me and what my father’s advice to me would be. The first time I told him I was suicidal, he merely said to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I resented the hell out of it. I felt powerless to do anything about my situation and my father insinuating that all I had to do is pull myself up was, I thought, disillusioning on his part. I was suffering from bipolar disorder and it was out of my control. How could I then control it when it controlled me?

My father was a beautiful man, but he passed away this past August. I thought then that I was coping with his death by not trying to think too much about it and carry on with my life. Instead, it triggered a bipolar depression that lasted from then until now. I didn’t expect to have to deal with his death this past year. I expected him to be sick, but I always thought that I had more time with him.

I hope my bipolar can get better; I dream to be free of bipolar disorder. Oxford dictionary defines hope as an expectation and a desire combined. It's synonyms are wish, ambition and dream. I dream of sunshine, freshly mowed grass and the absence of bipolar disorder. Can my dream become a reality? Can my bipolar get better? How can I accomplish this?

What do you say to taking chances? Starting fresh. Being you, but better. Would you take a chance to live the life you've always dreamed of? Would you do anything to trash your bipolar life and evolve into an improved you? Jump off the edge even if you're afraid. You're worth it.

Bipolar beat me. Yesterday was a bad day. I haven't had it bad like this in a while. It stemmed from my finances or lack thereof. This time of year is always difficult for us, paying off Christmas. Next Christmas we're going to have a savings. No credit cards. But, there is still the problem of this year.

In this video, Bipolar Vida blogger, Cristina Fender, shares how stigma of mental illness and living with bipolar disorder have effected her life.  You can watch the video interview with Cristina on this page.

Rebecca Riley was a four year old child who overdosed on medication for Bipolar and ADHD. It was an unfortunate incident that left me personally saddened. Where were her parents? Could this have been prevented? Do we diagnose children with Bipolar Disorder too readily? How young is too young to be diagnosed as bipolar?

At this past appointment, my psychiatric nurse offered to add another 300 mg of Lithium to my bipolar medication cocktail. She wrote me out a prescription and I accepted it tentatively. Do I want to be more medicated? Do I want the side effect of shakes to return? What am I doing?

It’s hard to trust my psychiatric nurse. How do you trust someone completely who could turn around and put you in a mental hospital? I used to tell her what was going on with me in small doses. She was on a need to know basis. And, then one day, I began to tell her everything. She constantly tells me that I have a lack of coping skills, but I disagree. It’s not the coping skills that are holding me back. It’s my bipolar disorder.