A number of years ago, in the middle of an initial evaluation, one of my clients, Maggie, mentioned she had in her possession a diary that her mother, Katherine, had kept when Maggie was 15. Her mother had died, and Maggie had packed the diary away in her closet along with some letters her mother had written her father. Shortly after her mother's funeral, she had looked at the diary, skipping from page to page and skimming entries because she found it painful to read. Her adolescent years had been very difficult with serious drug and alcohol abuse, and she did not want to remember. Still her strategy of forgetting and trying to put everything bad behind her had not been totally successful. Although in her 30's and a lawyer, she had only recently stopped drinking, and she had not been able to establish a long term relationship with a man.

When I heard about the diary of course I was excited. To a therapist, having access to a parent's diary is akin to an archaeologist uncovering an ancient city beneath a busy metropolis. I asked if Maggie would read it, and I asked whether I could read it, too.

"It's long," she said, "more than 100 pages. Are you sure you want to read it?" She seemed surprised that I would take such an immediate and serious interest in her life story. She had been to a couple therapists before and no one had asked to see the diary.

"I do," I said. "It will help me understand you. Actually, we're really lucky to have the diary. We can see what family life was like that year through your mother's eyes."

The next week she brought a copy of the diary to our session and handed it to me apologetically. "Don't feel obligated to read it all at once," she said, fanning the pages to once again show me how long it was.

"It's o.k.," I said. "I'm looking forward to reading it."

When we had both read the diary, I asked Maggie about her thoughts on what she had read.

"I was such a bad kid - I made my mother's life miserable. She had enough troubles - I should have been easier on her."

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I could see the shame in Maggie's eyes. Katherine had written openly about suicidal thoughts, her own drug use, her divorce from Maggie's father. The diary was filled with desperation. On top of everything, Katherine worried openly about Maggie who was getting into constant trouble.

After listening to Maggie, I said, "You know, I have a different take on the story. You were tough on your mother, but she was so preoccupied with her own world, her own unhappiness, she had no idea who you were, what your life was like. By adolescence it seems as if you barely existed except as Maggie, the behavior problem."

"I was Maggie the behavior problem," she said.

"You were more than just a behavior problem.

"I didn't feel like more. I never felt like more."

"Why do you think that was?" I asked.

"Because I was bad. Look what I did to my mother."

"You know, kids are not fundamentally bad. Often they do bad things because something is missing in their life, and they are trying to compensate--or they just want to escape emotional pain. The diary suggests your mother hardly knew you at all. She saw you and treated you as a generic kid--she missed everything that was special about you."

"How do you know there's anything special inside of me? I feel empty, and if I feel anything strongly, it's usually anger."

"I know because when you gave me the diary you apologized a number of times. You didn't want to put me out. I already know that there's self-consciousness and empathy inside of you - both part of your "specialness." If you were "bad" you would have handed the diary to me and said "Read this, it explains everything.

Maggie looked at me and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but all I can think is that I still should have treated my mother better."

"If your mother had seen and heard you, you would have treated her better. I know that for sure."

For a few sessions Maggie argued with me about my view of her and her mother. She had many justifications: she was sure her mother loved her, she always got Christmas presents and clothes--plenty of clothes. (I agreed with her on all these points - but they didn't change my feelings.) She continued to say she had rejected her mother during her teens for no good reason. She wondered if I were just making up an explanation to make her feel better. "You're just doing the therapist thing," she said. Furthermore, how could I know that there was any good inside of her? She was hiding all the bad stuff. She said I never saw her when she was at her worst.

In turn, I listened and gently stated my case, asking her to read the diary again because the necessary proof was there. I told her repeatedly that her mother was in so much pain and felt so neglected, she could hardly see beyond her own needs. She had little clue about who Maggie was - instead she parented by formula and the advice of self-help books.

Then, a few months later, Maggie started a session by telling a story. I could tell she had been crying:

"I was thinking about my Junior High School graduation after our last session. I hadn't thought about it for years. Not that I repressed it - I had just packed it away in some distant corner of my brain. You know, my mother didn't show up at the graduation, even though I had reminded her that afternoon. I looked around and saw all the other parents. I felt like I was lost in the desert or something. Afterwards, I bummed a ride home and found my mother asleep on the couch. I woke her up, and she apologized. "I never should have had a drink with dinner," she said. "I'll make it up to you..." Maggie paused and looked at me: "How could she ever make something like that up to me? The event was over, gone." Another big tear rolled down her face. "And now she's gone..."

I felt the usual chill when a client's protective walls crack for the first time and the sad truth begins to seep out.

Maggie looked me straight in the eyes. Fiercely, she said: "I don't know whether to love you or hate you for this...you know, for making me remember." Then she laughed the slightly bitter, little girl laugh that I would come to appreciate in the years that followed.

(Names, identifying information, and events have all been changed for reasons of confidentiality.)

About the author: Dr. Grossman is a clinical psychologist and author of the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival web site.

next: A Person Appears in My Office

(Invited talk at Contemporary Spiritual Experience, Brookline, MA, September 2002)

Bemused by her stopping her detailed comments in the middle I mailed it back to her saying how much I valued what she had already done - and wouldn't she just comment on the rest. And she thought I had better things to do than to write it. About ten years ago, soon after my mother was first diagnosed with lymphoma, I drove down to Huntington Long Island where I grew up, and I took her out for dinner - just the two of us. We had spent very little time together since I was a young teen for reasons which will become apparent, and we had never had dinner alone together since I was a child. I was both nervous and confident, knowing that this was the time when a kind of accounting would be revealed about what kind of son I had been. My mother was a bright, educated, strong willed, critical person - intolerant of romanticism or sentimentality. If someone accused her of being tough, they would not be far off the mark. So, our dinner was not going to maudlin, nor was there going to be any gushy revelations. Still, she had not said anything to me about me, good or bad since I was 14 years old. And I rarely asked for her opinion - because it was usually obvious, between the lines. Once I sent her a draft of a short fiction piece that I had written - because she edited a poetry journal on the Island. She carefully annotated half the piece, read the rest, and then said she would stop there, writing a mixed, if somewhat formal review at the end. She finished the task - although I knew she thought she had better things to do than reading my mediocre fiction. But that was a few years back, and now sometime after the waiter removed the soup bowls and after both of us had had half a glass of wine, the time had come for my mother, emboldened by the likelihood of her imminent death, to speak her mind freely about me, her youngest son, for the first time in 25 years. This review, I'm afraid, was not even mixed. "You've been loitering in life," she said with earnestness.

Now children, and even adult, are notoriously poor in distinguishing reality from fiction when it comes to parental evaluations. Depending upon what part of the brain comes into play and also, what time of day - or night - we ponder them, these evaluations can be accurate or not accurate. At 3:00 in the morning, for example, when our reptilian brain is hard at work, parents are always right - especially if they have said something particularly critical the day before. But at 8:00 that evening, I did not panic. I had lived a life motivated, in part, by the need to counter my mother's lack of attention, and the sense that I had little place in her world. And I had generally been successful: honors at Cornell, Boston University PhD program at 21, Massachusetts General Hospital psychology by 23, Harvard Medical post-doc at 24, married and raising three teenagers while still in my twenties, and now another child in my thirties. So I asked her with a smile: what could I do so that she would no longer consider me a loiterer. She answered without hesitation: you should be playing the violin.

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I had stopped when I was 14. I remember the day I garnered the courage to tell my mother I would no longer play the violin. She sat in the Danish olive green chair in the living room - the same room where she gave hours of piano lessons, played Mozart and Chopin sonatas, and sang Brahms Lieder. I stood in front of her staring at the floor, avoiding her eyes. She accepted my simple declaration with resignation - but I felt I had seriously hurt her. I then walked off to my room and cried for an hour - knowing full well that I had severed our connection. From that point I knew, unless I resumed my hours worth of scales, etudes, and concerto's, the basic meaning of life beyond passing on one's genes - being valuable to one's mother - was, at best, in question. I guessed she would not look at me in the same way again. And she didn't.

But here we were some 25 years later, continuing the very same living room conversation as if no time had passed. But now, instead of a full, dark head of hair, she wore a kerchief covering her bald pate. And I was suddenly an adult, treating her to dinner for the first and only time in my life.

She said directly it was important that I play again. And I said that I understood her wish, and I would give it some thought.

For four months the thought circled my mind - it came in and out of consciousness on its own accord. When it entered I was not hostile to it, but I could not play solely because my mother wanted me to, especially since it was the only part of me she truly valued. I would not be coerced - if I played, I needed to come to it myself. And I needed to find my own pleasure in it.

And then one day I pulled the violin out of its dusty case. I found an accomplished teacher, and I began practicing an hour a day. When I told my mother, she seemed pleased to hear the news. I would guess she was thrilled, but with my mother, I could never tell for sure. She would ask me, every couple of weeks when I spoke to her, how the practicing was going. I would report honestly: o.k.. I wasn't very accomplished when I had stopped, so the good news was that I hadn't lost much in the way of skill.

A few months after I started playing again my father called to tell me my mother was going to need to have her lungs drained of fluid. Although they tried to stop me, I said I was coming down. I packed an overnight bag, grabbed my violin and Bach's A-minor concerto and drove through a late March snowstorm to Huntington.

When I arrived that evening my mother was, as I suspected, far worse off than my father had let on. I told her I had brought my violin and I would play for her in the morning. The next day I went down to my father's office in the basement to warm up, thinking this was going to be the most important recital I ever played. My hands trembled and I could barely draw the bow across the strings. When it was clear I wasn't going to ever warm up, I went to the bedroom in which she lay, apologized in advance for my sorry effort, and began the concerto. The sounds that came out were pitiful - my hands were shaking so badly, half of the notes were out of tune. Suddenly she stopped me. "Play it like this" she said - and she hummed a few bars with crescendos and decrescendos in an effort to get me to play the piece musically. When I finished, she said nothing more, nor did she ever mention my playing again. I quietly packed up and put the violin away.

That weekend of my mother's death, I asked her many questions about her life. The most important were: Did your mother love you, and how did you know? She answered quickly: yes, my mother loved me, and I knew because she came to my piano recitals. And during that weekend three small things happened that I now hold onto as tightly as I can - because, in my mother's eyes, I fear I barely existed. She said, with genuine and unabashed delight and surprise, that she was so glad I had come. She also said --for the first time since I was ten years old - that I was dear to her. And the afternoon before my father and I drove her to the hospital for the final time, she asked me to look at her last poem, still a work in progress. For an hour we combed through it with equal voice, line by line.

About the author: Dr. Grossman is a clinical psychologist and author of the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival web site.

next: The Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Reading List

Chapter 98 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan:

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, my son and I got into an argument. He got defensive and uppity, I got intrusive and sarcastic. I ended the conversation by slamming his bedroom door behind me.

At times like that, I can feel myself wanting to keep up a wall between me and the other person. I wanted to keep making my son wrong. I wanted to see everything wrong about him.

Then I remembered E-Squared (or E2). E2 will increase your impact on the person you're talking to - it'll add a subtle, relaxed quality to your demeanor that will help the other person feel at ease in your presence. And you'll like what it does for you even more. You become calm and at ease and you get a strong feeling of standing on solid ground. I call it E2 for experienced experience.

As each moment goes by, you and I have an ongoing stream of experience - lots of sights, thoughts, sounds, feelings, smells - but we don't register much of it consciously. And that's fine. Nothing wrong with that for the most part. But sometimes it's pretty useful to register your experience consciously. One of those times is when you feel uncomfortable or when you're upset with someone and you think you're going to lose your cool. Another might be when you're giving a speech and you feel like running away or when you're telling someone something they don't want to hear.

At times like those, pay attention to your physical experience. Experience your experience. Feel all the different sensations in your body. When you're feeling powerful emotions, there's a lot to pay attention to; emotions are complex; they move through your body producing physical sensations in many different places in your body, in sequence. Pay attention to those.

And while you're paying attention to your physical sensations, you'll notice certain muscles - in your back, in your face, in your shoulders - have contracted and held the contraction. You'll probably notice lots of sensation in your solar plexus region. Pay attention to everything - your body posture, the expression on your face, the light coming into the room, the sounds around you. Notice your breathing, feel your feet on the floor. Be there.

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Simple? Sure. Obvious? Absolutely. It is nothing more than experiencing something that you are already experiencing. What could be easier? But sometimes we don't want to experience our experience, and it's times like those you have to do it consciously and deliberately. Otherwise you will tend to act out those negative feelings or do something in an attempt to avoid feeling those feelings - something you'll regret later.

So I took a deep breath, relaxed, and for a moment I paid attention to my ongoing experience: I noticed my body posture, the expression on my face, the different sensations in my body, the feel of the air on my skin, etc. Then I went back, a changed man, and talked to my son. Those few moments I took to E2 altered me. They stopped me from reacting - defending and attacking - and allowed me to start fresh. I went back to his room and apologized for slamming the door and explained myself as best I could. I was completely calm and had no edge in my voice.

He listened. He knew he'd made a mistake but I had nailed him so hard, he didn't want to admit it before. We ended the conversation with no hard feelings.

E2 is an act of will. It's not a thought. It's not a physical action. It's a change of heart. Instead of running, you stand and feel. Instead of wanting to hide, you open yourself up. Instead of cowering inside, you pay attention and relax.

Try it. Try it any time you feel like pulling away or shrinking back. Stand firm. Breath deep. Relax your tensions. And feel.

Practice E-Squared now and then:
Pay close attention to your ongoing experience.

Three simple techniques for improving your reading speed.
Speedy Reading

How to enjoy your work more, ultimately get paid more, and feel more secure on the job.
Thousand-Watt Bulb

Make your boss a great person to work for.
The Samurai Effect

The classic method of solving problems.
The Shortest Distance

Here's a way to make your work more enjoyable.
Play the Game

next: How You Measure Up

Comprehensive information on carnitine for treating alcohol-related liver disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, Peyronie's Disease and hyperthyroidism. Learn about the usage, dosage, side-effects of carnitine.

Common Forms:L-acetylcarnitine (LAC), acetyl-L-carnitine, L-proprionyl carnitine (LPC), L-carnitine fumarate, L-carnitine tartrate, L-carnitine magnesium citrate

• Overview
• Uses
• Dietary Sources
• Available Forms
• How to Take It
• Precautions
• Possible Interactions
• Supporting Research

Overview

Carnitine is a nutrient responsible for the transport of long-chain fatty acids into the energy-producing centers of the cells (known as the mitochondria). In other words, carnitine helps the body convert fatty acids into energy, which is used primarily for muscular activities throughout the body. The body produces carnitine in the liver and kidneys and stores it in the skeletal muscles, heart, brain, and sperm.

Some people have dietary deficiencies of carnitine or cannot properly absorb this nutrient from foods that they eat. Carnitine deficiencies may be caused by genetic disorders, liver or kidney problems, high-fat diets, certain medications, and low dietary levels of the amino acids lysine and methionine (substances needed to make carnitine). Carnitine deficiencies may cause symptoms such as fatigue, chest pain, muscle pain, weakness, low blood pressure, and/or confusion. A healthcare provider may recommend use of the supplement levocarnitine (L-carnitine) for individuals who have a suspected or confirmed deficiency of this nutrient.

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Carnitine Uses

In addition to helping those with carnitine deficiencies, L-carnitine supplementation may benefit individuals with the following conditions:

Carnitine for Heart Disease

Studies suggest that people who take L-carnitine supplements soon after suffering a heart attack may be less likely to suffer a subsequent heart attack, die of heart disease, experience chest pain and abnormal heart rhythms, or develop congestive heart failure. (Congestive heart failure is a condition that leads to a back up of blood into the lungs and legs because the heart loses its ability to pump blood efficiently).

In addition, people with coronary artery disease who use L-carnitine along with standard medications may be able to sustain physical activity for longer periods of time.

Carnitine for Congestive Heart Failure (CHF)

In addition to reducing one's chances of developing heart failure after a heart attack, some studies suggest that carnitine may help treat CHF once it has set in. These studies have shown that carnitine may improve exercise capacity in people with CHF.

Carnitine for High Cholesterol

In several studies, people who took L-carnitine supplements had a significant lowering of their total cholesterol and triglycerides, and an increase in their HDL ("good") cholesterol levels.

Carnitine for Intermittent Claudication

Decreased blood flow to the legs from atherosclerosis (plaque build up) often causes an aching or cramping pain in the legs while walking or exercising. This pain is called intermittent claudication and the diminished blood flow to the legs is called peripheral vascular disease (PVD). At least one well-designed study suggests that carnitine supplements may improve muscle function and exercise capacity in those with PVD. In other words, people with PVD may be able to walk farther and longer if they take carnitine, particularly proprinylcarnitine.

Carnitine for Athletic Performance

Carnitine, in theory, is thought to be helpful for improving exercise performance. However, studies in healthy athletes have not yet proven this theory.

Carnitine for Weight Loss

Although L-carnitine has been marketed as a weight loss supplement, there is no scientific evidence to date to show that it improves weight loss. A recent study of moderately overweight women found that L-carnitine did not significantly alter body weight, body fat, or lean body mass. Based on the results of this one small study, claims that L-carnitine helps reduce weight are not supported at this time.

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Carnitine for Eating Disorders

Several studies suggest that amino acid levels, including carnitine, are diminished in people with anorexia nervosa. Some experts believe that low levels of carnitine contribute to muscle weakness frequently seen in people with this eating disorder. However, one study of severely underweight women with anorexia found that carnitine supplements did not raise levels of this amino acid in the blood nor did it improve muscle weakness. If you have anorexia, your doctor will decide if you need amino acid replacement or not.

Carnitine for Alcohol-related Liver Disease

Some researchers speculate that alcohol consumption reduces the ability of carnitine to function properly in the body. This can lead to a buildup of fat in the liver. Supplementation with carnitine has been shown to prevent and reverse the damage caused by alcohol-induced fatty buildup in the liver of animals.

Carnitine for Dementia and Memory Impairment

Some studies have shown that L-acetylcarnitine (LAC), a form of L-carnitine that readily enters the brain, may delay the progression of Alzheimer's disease, relieve depression related to senility and other forms of dementia, and improve memory in the elderly. Unfortunately, however, results from other studies have been conflicting. For example, one trial suggests that this supplement may help prevent the progression of Alzheimer's disease in its early stages, but it may worsen symptoms in later stages of the disease. For this reason, carnitine for Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia should only be used under the direction and supervision of your physician.

Carnitine for Down's Syndrome

In a study of individuals with Down syndrome, L-acetylcarnitine (LAC) supplementation significantly improved visual memory and attention.

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Carnitine for Kidney Disease and Hemodialysis

Given that the kidney is a major site of carnitine production, damage to this organ can cause a significant carnitine deficiency. Many patients undergoing hemodialysis also experience carnitine deficiencies. For these reasons, individuals with kidney disease (with or without the need for hemodialysis) may benefit from carnitine supplementation, if recommended by a healthcare provider.

Carnitine for Male Infertility

Low sperm counts have been linked to low carnitine levels in men. Several studies suggest that L-carnitine supplementation may increase sperm count and mobility.

Carnitine for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)

Some researchers speculate that chronic fatigue syndrome may be caused by deficiencies in a variety of nutrients, including carnitine. L-carnitine has been compared to a medication for fatigue in a study of 30 people with CFS. Those who took L-carnitine did much better than those who took the medication, particularly after receiving the supplement for 4 to 8 weeks.

Carnitine for Shock

Carnitine (administered intravenously in the hospital) may be helpful in treating shock from loss of blood, a sizeable heart attack, or a severe infection of the bloodstream known as sepsis. In one study, acetyl-L-carnitine helped improve the condition of 115 people with septic, cardiac, or traumatic shock.

Shock is a failure of the circulatory system and is a life-threatening medical emergency. Its key feature is inadequate blood flow to vital organs in the body. Therefore, if carnitine were used for this condition, it would, again, be administered in the hospital along with many other essential conventional therapies.

Carnitine for Peyronie's Disease

Peyronie's disease is characterized by a curvature of the penis that leads to scar tissue development and pain during an erection because of blocked blood flow. A recent study compared acetyl-L-carnitine to a medication in 48 men with this unusual condition. Acetyl-L-carnitine worked better than the medication at reducing pain during intercourse and minimizing the curve of the penis. Acetyl-L-carnitine also had fewer side effects than the medication. This study is very encouraging and warrants more scientific testing.

Carnitine for Hyperthyroidism

Some research suggests that L-carnitine may prove useful for preventing or diminishing the symptoms associated with an overactive thyroid. These symptoms include insomnia, nervousness, elevated heart rate, and tremors. In fact, in one study, a small group of people with hyperthyroidism had improvement in these symptoms, as well as normalization of their body temperature, when taking carnitine.

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Dietary Sources of Carnitine

Red meat (particularly lamb) and dairy products are the primary sources of carnitine. Carnitine can also be found in fish, poultry, tempeh (fermented soybeans), wheat, asparagus, avocados, and peanut butter. Cereals, fruits, and vegetables contain little or no carnitine.

 

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Available Forms

Carnitine is available as a supplement in a variety of forms, but only the form L-carnitine (alone or bound to either acetic or propionic acid) is recommended.

• L-carnitine (LC): the most widely available and least expensive
• L-acetylcarnitine (LAC): this form of carnitine appears to be the one to use for Alzheimer's disease and other brain disorders
• L-propionylcarnitine (LPC): this form of carnitine appears to be most effective for chest pain and related heart problems, as well as peripheral vascular disease (PVD).

D-carnitine supplements should be avoided as they interfere with the natural form of L-carnitine and may produce undesirable side effects.

Under certain medical conditions, L-carnitine is administered as a prescription from a healthcare provider or given intravenously in a hospital setting (such as in the case of shock as described in the Uses section).

 

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How to Take Carnitine

A typical daily diet contains anywhere from 5 to 100 mg of carnitine, depending upon whether the diet is primarily plant-based or red meat-based.

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Pediatric

If laboratory tests reveal that a child has an amino acid imbalance requiring treatment, a healthcare provider may recommend a complete amino acid supplement containing carnitine. For children on valproate for epilepsy, which can lead to a deficiency of carnitine (see Interactions section), the doctor will likely prescribe a dose of 100 mg/kg of body weight per day, not to exceed 2,000 mg per day.

Adult

Recommended doses of L-carnitine supplements vary depending on the health condition being treated. The following list provides guidelines for some of the most common uses, based largely on doses used in studies for these conditions:

• Fat metabolism (conversion of fat to energy) and muscular performance: 1,000 to 2,000 mg usually divided into two doses
• Heart disease: 600 to 1,200 mg three times daily, or 750 mg twice daily
• Alcohol-related carnitine deficiency: 300 mg three times daily
• Male infertility: 300 to 1,000 mg three times daily
• Chronic fatigue syndrome: 500 to 1,000 mg three to four times per day
• Overactive thyroid: 2,000 to 4,000 mg per day in two to four divided doses

 

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Precautions

Because supplements may have side effects or interact with medications, they should be taken only under the supervision of a knowledgeable healthcare provider.

Although L-carnitine does not appear to cause significant side effects, high doses (5 or more grams per day) may cause diarrhea. Other rare side effects include increased appetite, body odor, and rash.

D-carnitine supplements should be avoided as they interfere with the natural form of L-carnitine and may produce undesirable side effects.

Individuals taking L-carnitine as a sports supplement to improve fat metabolism and muscular performance should stop using it at least for one week each month.

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Possible Interactions

If you are currently being treated with any of the following medications, you should not use carnitine without first talking to your healthcare provider.

AZT

In a laboratory study, L-carnitine supplements protected muscle tissue against toxic side effects from treatment with AZT, a medication used to treat human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS). Additional studies are needed to confirm whether L-carnitine would also have this effect in people.

Doxorubicin

Treatment with L-carnitine may protect heart cells against the toxic side effects of doxorubicin, a medication used to treat cancer, without reducing the effectiveness of this chemotherapy agent.

Isotretinoin

Isotretinoin, a strong medication used for severe acne, can cause abnormalities in liver function, measured by a blood test, as well as elevations in cholesterol and muscle pain and weakness. These symptoms are similar to those seen with carnitine deficiency. Researchers in Greece showed that a large group of people who had side effects from isotretinoin got better when taking L-carnitine compared to those who took a placebo.

Valproic Acid

The anticonvulsant medication valproic acid may lower blood levels of carnitine and can cause carnitine deficiency. Taking L-carnitine supplements may prevent deficiency and may also reduce the side effects of valproic acid.

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Supporting Research

Arsenian, MA. Carnitine and its derivatives in cardiovascular disease. Progr Cardiovasc Dis. 1997;40:3:265-286.

Benvenga S, Ruggieri RM, Russo A, Lapa D, Campenni A, Trimarchi F. Usefulness of L-carnitine, a naturally occurring peripheral antagonist of thyroid hormone action, in iatrogenic hyperthyroidism: a randomized, double-blind placebo-controlled clinical trial. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2001;86(8):3579-3594.

Biagiotti G, Cavallini G. Acetyl-L-carnitine vs tamoxifen in the oral therapy of Peyronie's disease: a preliminary report. BJU Int. 2001;88(1):63-67.

Brass EP, Hiatt WR. The role of carnitine and carnitine supplementation during exercise in man and in individuals with special needs. J Am Coll Nutr. 1998;17:207-215.

Bowman B. Acetyl-carnitine and Alzheimer's disease. Nutr Reviews. 1992;50:142-144.

Carta A, Calvani M, Bravi D. Acetyl-L-carnitine and Alzheimer's disease. Pharmacologic considerations beyond the cholinergic sphere. Ann NY Acad Sci. 1993;695:324-326.

Chung S, Cho J, Hyun T, et al. Alterations in the carnitine metabolism in epileptic children treated with valproic acid. J Korean Med Soc. 1997;12:553-558.

Corbucci GG, Loche F. L-carnitine in cardiogenic shock therapy: pharmacodynamic aspects and clinical data. Int J Clin Pharmacol Res. 1993;13(2):87-91.

Costa M, Canale D, Filicori M. L-carnitine in idiopathic asthenozoospermia: a multicenter study. Andrologia. 1994;26:155-159.

De Falco FA, D'Angelo E, Grimaldi G. Effect of the chronic treatment with L-acetylcarnitine in Down's syndrome. Clin Ter. 1994;144:123-127.

De Vivo DC, Bohan TP, Coulter DL, et al. L-Carnitine supplementation in childhood epilepsy: current perspectives. Epilepsia. 1998;39:1216-1225.

Dyck DJ. Dietary fat intake, supplements, and weight loss. Can J Appl Physiol. 2000;25(6):495-523.

Elisaf M, Bairaaktari E, Katopodis K, et al. Effect of L-carnitine supplementation on lipid parameters in hemodialysis patients. Am J Nephrol. 1998;18:416-421.

Fugh-Berman A. Herbs and dietary supplements in the prevention and treatment of cardiovascular disease. Prev Cardiology. 2000;3:24-32.

Gasparetto A, Corbucci GG, De Blasi RA, et al. Influence of acetyl-L-carnitine infusion on haemodynamic parameters and survival of circulatory-shock patients. Int J Clin Pharmacol Res. 1991;11(2):83-92.

Georgala S, Schulpis KH, Georgala C, Michas T. L-carnitine supplementation in patients with cystic acne on isotretinoin therapy. J Eur Acad Dermatol Venereol. 1999;13(3):205-209.

Hiatt WR, Regensteiner JG, Creager MA, Hirsch AT, Cooke JP, Olin JW, et al. Propionyl-L-carnitine improves exercise performance and functional status in patients with claudication. Am J Med. 2001;110(8):616-622.

Iliceto S, Scrutinio D, Bruzzi P, et al. Effects of L-carnitine administration on left ventricular remodeling after acute anterior myocardial infarction: the L-carnitine Ecocardiografia Digitalizzata Infarto Miocardico (CEDIM) trial. JACC. 1995;26(2):380-387.

Kelly GS. L-Carnitine: therapeutic applications of a conditionally-essential amino acid. Alt Med Rev. 1998;3:345-60.

Kendler BS. Recent nutritional approaches to the prevention and therapy of cardiovasular disease. Prog Cardiovasc Nurs. 1997;12(3):3-23.

Loster H, Miehe K, Punzel M, Stiller O, Pankau H, Schauer J. Prolonged oral L-carnitine substitution increases bicycle ergometer performance in patients with severe, ischemically induced cardiac insufficiency. Cardiovasc Drugs Ther. 1999;13:537-546.

Morton J, McLaughlin DM, Whiting S, Russell GF. Carnitine levels in patients with skeletal myopathy due to anorexia nervosa before and after refeeding. Int J Eat Disord. 1999;26(3):341-344.

Moyano D, Vilaseca MA, Artuch R, Lambruschini N. Plasma amino acids in anorexia nervosa. Eur J Clin Nutr. 1998;52(9):684-689.

Ott BR, Owens NJ. Complementary and alternative medicines for Alzheimer's disease. J Geriatr Psychiatry Neurol. 1998;11:163-173.

Pettegrew JW, Levine J, McClure RJ. Acetyl-L-carnitine physical-chemical, metabolic, and therapeutic properties: relevance for its mode of action in Alzheimer's disease and geriatric depression. Mol Psychiatry. 2000;5:616-632.

Pizzorno JE, Murray MT, eds. Textbook of Natural Medicine. Vol 1. 2nd ed. Churchill Livingstone; 1999:462-466.

Newstrom H: Nutrients Catalog. Jefferson, NC: McFarland & Co., Inc.; 1993:103-105.

Plioplys AV, Plioplys S. Amantadine and L-carnitine treatment of chronic fatigue syndrome. Neuropsychobiology. 1997;35(1):16-23.

Sachan DA, Rhew TH. Lipotropic effect of carnitine on alcohol-induced hepatic stenosis. Nutr Rep Int. 1983;27:1221-1226.

Sachan DS, Rhew TH, Ruark RA. Ameliorating effects of carnitine and its precursors on alcohol-induced fatty liver. Am J Clin Nutr. 1984;39:738-744.

Shils ME, Olson JA, Shike M, Ross AC. Modern Nutrition in Health and Disease. 9th ed. Baltimore, Md: Williams & Wilkins; 1999: 90-92; 1377-1378.

Sinclair S. Male infertility: nutritional and environmental considerations. Alt Med Rev. 2000;5(1):28-38.

Singh RB, Niaz MA, Agarwal P, Beegum R, Rastogi SS, Sachan DS. A randomised, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial of L-carnitine in suspected acute myocardial infaction. Postgrad Med. 1996;72:45-50.

Sum CF, Winocour PH, Agius L, et al. Does oral L-carnitine alter plasma triglyceride levels in hypertriglyceridemic subjects with or without non-insulin dependent diabetes mellitus. Diabetes Nutr Metab Clin Exp. 1992;5:175-181.

Thal LJ, Carta A, Clarke WR, et al. A 1-year multicenter placebo-controlled study of acetyl-L-carnitine in patients with Alzheimer's disease. Neurology. 1996;47:705-711.

Van Wouwe JP. Carnitine deficiency during valproic acid treatment. Int J Vit Nutr Res. 1995;65:211-214.

Villani RG, Gannon J, Self M, Rich PA. L-carnitine supplementation combined with aerobic training does not promote weight loss in moderately obese women. Int J Sport Nutr Exerc Metab. 2000;10:199-207.

Vitali G, Parente R, Melotti C. Carnitine supplementation in human idiopathic asthenospermia: clinical results. Drugs Exp Clin Res. 1995;21(4):157-159.

Werbach MR. Nutritional strategies for treating chronic fatigue syndrome. Altern Med Rev. 2000;5(2):93-108.

Winter BK, Fiskum G, Gallo LL. Effects of L-carnitine on serum triglyceride and cytokine levels in rat models of cachexia and septic shock. Br J Cancer. 1995;72(5):1173-1179.

Witt KK, Clark AL, Cleland JG. Chronic heart failure and micronutrients. J Am Coll Cardiol. 2001;37(7):1765-1774.

Chapter 44 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan:

ONE MORNING A SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD boy was kidnapped from his house by a band of knife-wielding thugs and taken to another country, there to be sold as a slave. The year was 401 a.d.

He was made a shepherd. Slaves were not allowed to wear clothes, so he was often dangerously cold and frequently on the verge of starvation. He spent months at a time without seeing another human being - a severe psychological torture.

But this greatest of difficulties was transformed into the greatest of blessings because it gave him an opportunity not many get in a lifetime. Long lengths of solitude have been used by people all through history to meditate, to learn to control the mind and to explore the depths of feeling and thought to a degree impossible in the hubbub of normal life.

He wasn't looking for such an "opportunity," but he got it anyway. He had never been a religious person, but to hold himself together and take his mind off the pain, he began to pray, so much that "...in one day," he wrote later, "I would say as many as a hundred prayers and after dark nearly as many again...I would wake and pray before daybreak - through snow, frost, and rain...."

This young man, at the onset of his manhood, got a "raw deal." But therein lies the lesson. Nobody gets a perfect life. The question is not "What could I have done if I'd gotten a better life?" but rather "What can I do with the life I've got?"

How can you take your personality, your circumstances, your upbringing, the time and place you live in, and make something extraordinary out of it? What can you do with what you've got?

The young slave prayed. He didn't have much else available to do, so he did what he could with all his might. And after six years of praying, he heard a voice in his sleep say that his prayers would be answered: He was going home. He sat bolt upright and the voice said, "Look, your ship is ready."

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He was a long way from the ocean, but he started walking. After two hundred miles, he came to the ocean and there was a ship, preparing to leave for Britain, his homeland. Somehow he got aboard the ship and went home to reunite with his family.

But he had changed. The sixteen-year-old boy had become a holy man. He had visions. He heard the voices of the people from the island he had left - Ireland - calling him back. The voices were persistent, and he eventually left his family to become ordained as a priest and a bishop with the intention of returning to Ireland and converting the Irish to Christianity.

At the time, the Irish were fierce, illiterate, Iron-Age people. For over eleven hundred years, the Roman Empire had been spreading its civilizing influence from Africa to Britain, but Rome never conquered Ireland.

The people of Ireland warred constantly. They made human sacrifices of prisoners of war and sacrificed newborns to the gods of the harvest. They hung the skulls of their enemies on their belts as ornaments.

Our slave-boy-turned-bishop decided to make these people literate and peaceful. Braving dangers and obstacles of tremendous magnitude, he actually succeeded! By the end of his life, Ireland was Christian. Slavery had ceased entirely. Wars were much less frequent, and literacy was spreading.

How did he do it? He began by teaching people to read - starting with the Bible. Students eventually became teachers and went to other parts of the island to create new places of learning, and wherever they went, they brought the know-how to turn sheepskin into paper and paper into books.

Copying books became the major religious activity of that country. The Irish had a long-standing love of words, and it expressed itself to the full when they became literate. Monks spent their lives copying books: the Bible, the lives of saints, and the works accumulated by the Roman culture - Latin, Greek, and Hebrew books, grammars, the works of Plato, Aristotle, Virgil, Homer, Greek philosophy, math, geometry, astronomy.

In fact, because so many books were being copied, they were saved, because as Ireland was being civilized, the Roman Empire was falling apart. Libraries disappeared in Europe. Books were no longer copied (except in the city of Rome itself), and children were no longer taught to read. The civilization that had been built up over eleven centuries disintegrated. This was the beginning of the Dark Ages.

Because our slave-boy-turned-bishop transformed his suffering into a mission, civilization itself, in the form of literature and the accumulated knowledge contained in that literature, was saved and not lost during that time of darkness. He was named a saint, the famous Saint Patrick. You can read the full and fascinating story if you like in the excellent book How the Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill.

"Very interesting," you might say, "but what does that have to do with me?"

Well...you are also in some circumstances or other, and it's not all peaches and cream, is it? There's some stuff you don't like - maybe something about your circumstances, perhaps, or maybe some events that occurred in your childhood.

But here you are, with that past, with these circumstances, with the things you consider less than ideal. What are you going to do with them? If those circumstances have made you uniquely qualified for some contribution, what would it be?

You may not know the answer to that question right now, but keep in mind that the circumstances you think only spell misery may contain the seeds of something profoundly Good. Assume that's true, and the assumption will begin to gather evidence until your misery is transformed, as Saint Patrick's suffering was, from a raw deal to the perfect preparation for something better.

Would you like to do something cool with your life but
you don't know what to do? Read this chapter and
discover what your calling is:
"I Don't Know What to Do With My Life"

We all live in a story. And the story you live
ultimately determines the quality of your life and
how much of a difference you will make with your life.
Explore this more by reading the bonus chapter:
Are You the One?

next: Attitude Principles

Here's a list of mental health conditions and recommended alternative treatment therapies.

• Addictions
• Alzheimer's Disease
• Anxiety Disorders
• ADHD
• Autism
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Depression
• Eating Disorders
• Personality Disorders
• Schizophrenia

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continue story below

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back to: Alternative Mental Health Community Homepage

 Comprehensive information on alternative treatments for mental health conditions including: addictions, alzheimers, ADHD, anxiety, bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders and more.

Contents in the Alternative Mental Health Community:

Overview of Alternative Treatments for Mental Health
Alternative Treatments for Mental Health Overview
Complimentary Therapies for Your Mental Health
Herbal Remedies for Mental Health
Supplements and Vitamins
Alternative Mental Health Tests
Alternative Therapy for Specific Disorders
Alternative Therapy Online Conference Transcripts
Alternative Therapies Websites
Videos on Alternative Treatments for Mental Health
Books on Alternative Mental Health

Overview of Alternative Treatments for Mental Health

• What is Complementary and Alternative Medicine?
• What are Alternative Approaches to Mental Health Care
• How to Select a Complementary and Alternative Medicine Provider
• Alternative Treatments for Mental Health Conditions
• Recovering Your Mental Health: A Self-Help Guide
• Action Plan for Mental Health Patients
• Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide
• Complimentary and Alternative Medicine A to Z list of Alternative Therapies and Modalities

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Alternative Treatments for Mental Health

• Alternative Mental Health Treatments: Table of Contents
• Understanding Complementary and Alternative Medicine
• Statistics on CAM Use
• Alternative Treatments: Get Informed
• Selecting a Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) Practitioner
• Consumer Financial Issues in Complementary and Alternative Medicine
• Major Areas of CAM
• Energy Medicine: An Overview
• Manipulative and Body-Based Practices: An Overview
• Mind-Body Medicine: An Overview
• Types of Alternative Medicine
• Alternative Approaches to Mental Health Care
• Acupuncture: An Alternative Treatment for Pain
• Use and Effectiveness of Acupuncture - NIH Statement
• FDA Warning About Actra-Rx for Erectile Dysfunction
• What Is Ayurvedic Medicine?
• What Is Homeopathy?
• Effective Treatment of Chronic Pain and Insomnia
• Magnets To Treat Pain
• Mind-Body Interventions for Gastrointestinal Conditions
• Botanical Dietary Supplements: Background Information
• Dietary Supplements: Background Information
• What's in the Bottle? An Introduction to Dietary Supplements
• Safety of Herbal Supplements
• Dietary Supplement: Folate
• Ginkgo Biloba: Herbs
• Asian Ginseng: Herbs
• Dietary Supplement Fact Sheet: Iron
• Magnesium
• Melatonin for Sleep Disorders
• SAMe (S-Adensoly-L-Methionine)
• St. John's Wort: Overview
• St. John's Wort For Treatment of Depression
• Valerian Root
• Vitamin B6
• Vitamin B12
• Zinc

Complimentary Therapies for Your Mental Health

• Meditation for Treating Psychological Disorders
• Music Therapy for Treatment of Psychiatric Disorders
• Osteopathy
• Ozone Therapy
• Polarity Therapy for Psychological Conditions
• Prayer for Treating Psychological Disorders
• Qi Gong for Psychological Disorders
• Reflexology to Relieve Stress, Improve Health
• Reiki for Psychological Disorders
• Relaxation Therapy for Psychological Disorders
• Rolfing Structural Integration
• Tai Chi for Psychological Disorders
• TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation)
• Therapeutic Touch for Psychological Disorders
• Visualization for Psychological Disorders
• Yoga for Anxiety, Stress and Depression
• Healthy Lifestyle: Ways to Stay Well
• Alternative Therapies Effective For Anxiety
• Treating Anxiety Disorders Without Medication
• Managing Stress
• Breathing Exercises to Reduce Stress
• How to Relax and Cope with Stress
• Self-Help and Alternate Therapies for Depression
• Complimentary Therapies for Depression
• Alternative Treatments for Depression and Anxiety
• Meditation for Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia
• Assessing Complementary and/or Controversial Interventions For ADHD
• ADHD Unproven Treatments
• What "Focusing" is and what it is not
• Meditation: Seeking the Spiritual Connection

Herbal Remedies for Mental Health

• Herbal Remedies for Mental Health
• Important Information About Herbal Treatments
• Harmful Substances in Herbal Products
• American Ginseng
• Asian Ginseng
• Dandelion
• Ginkgo Biloba
• Gotu Kola
• Kava Kava
• Lavender
• Lemon Balm
• Licorice
• Passionflower
• Roman Chamomile
• Rosemary
• Skullcap
• St. John's Wort
• Valerian

Supplements and Vitamins

• Supplements and Vitamins Table of Contents
• Introduction to Dietary Supplements
• Safety of Herbal and Dietary Supplements
• 5-Hydroxytryptophan (5-HTP)
• Alpha-linolenic Acid (ALA)
• Beta-carotene
• Carnitine
• Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA)
• Docosahexaenoic Acid (DHA)
• Eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA)
• Gamma-Linolenic Acid (GLA)
• Melatonin
• Omega-3 Fatty Acids
• Omega-6 Fatty Acids
• Potassium
• S-Adenosylmethionine (SAMe)
• Selenium
• Tyrosine
• Vitamin A
• Vitamin B1 (Thiamine)
• Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin)
• Vitamin B12 (Cobalamin)
• Vitamin B3 (Niacin)
• Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid)
• Vitamin B6 (Pryidoxine)
• Vitamin B9 (Folic Acid)
• Vitamin C (Ascorbic Acid)
• Vitamin E
• Zinc

Alternative Mental Health Tests

• Sugar Sensitivity Test Rates Tolerance to Carbohydrates

Alternative Therapy for Specific Disorders

• ADHD-ADHD Alternative Treatments - Table of Contents
  • What Causes ADHD?
  • Misdiagnosing ADHD
  • Adult ADHD: Identification and Diagnosis
  • Treatment of Adult ADHD
  • ADHD Diet
  • Food, Diet and ADHD
  • Dietary Interventions for ADHD Rejected by CHADD
  • Nutritional Treatments for ADHD
  • Hormones and Herbs for Treating ADHD
  • Behavior Therapy for ADHD Children
  • Behavioral Management for ADHD Children in the Classroom
• Addictions Alternative Treatments - Table of Contents
  • Alternative Treatments for Addiction
  • Alternative Treatments for Alcoholism and Addiction
  • Nutrition Therapy for Treating Alcoholism
• Alzhheimer's Alternative Treatments - Table of Contents
  • Preventing the Development of Alzheimer's
  • Alternative Treatments for Alzheimer's Disease
  • Alternative Treatment Strategy for Alzheimer's Disease
  • Ginkgo Biloba For Treating Alzheimer's Disease
  • Ginseng for Treating Alzheimer's Disease
  • Huperzine A for Treatment of Alzheimer's Disease
  • Ma Huang for Treatment of Alzheimer's Disease
• Anxiety Alternative Treatments - Table of Contents
  • Natural Alternative Treatments for Anxiety and Stress
  • Alternative Treatments for Anxiety and Panic Attacks
  • Non-Medication Treatments for Anxiety and Panic
  • Top Ten Alternative Remedies For Anxiety
  • Restorative Yoga For True Relaxation
  • Coping With Trauma When Living With A Mental Illness
• Autism Alternative Treatments - Table of Contents
  • Alternative Treatments for Autism
  • Enzyme Therapy for Autism
• Bipolar Disorder - Treating Depression and Bipolar Disorder Without Drugs
• Alternative Treatments for Depression: Table of Contents
  • Self-Help and Alternate Therapies for Depression
  • Complementary Therapies for Depression
  • Effectiveness of Alternative Treatments for Depression
  • Treating Depression Without Medications
  • Acupuncture for Depression
  • Alcohol Avoidance for Depression
  • Drinking Alcohol for Relaxation
  • Antidepressants for Depression
  • Aromatherapy for Depression
  • Caffeine Avoidance for Depression
  • Chocolate for Depression
  • Color Therapy for Depression
  • Dance and Movement Therapy for Depression
  • Exercise for Treating Depression
  • Exercise and Other Natural Ways to Fight Depression
  • Fish Oil for Depression
  • Ginkgo Biloba for Depression
  • Ginseng for Depression
  • Glutamine for Depression
  • Homeopathy for Depression
  • Inositol for Depression
  • Lemon Balm for Depression
  • Light Therapy for Depression
  • Massage Therapy for Depression
  • Meditation for Depression
  • Music Therapy for Depression
  • Natural Progesterone for Depression
  • Negative Air Ionization for Depression
  • Nutritional Therapy for Depression
  • Pet Therapy for Depression
  • Pleasant Activities As Treatment For Depression
  • Relaxation Therapy for Depression and Anxiety
  • Phenylalanine for Depression
  • SAMe or SAM-e for Depression
  • Selenium for Depression
  • St. John's Wort for Depression
  • Sugar Avoidance As A Depression Treatment
  • Tryptophan for Depression
  • Tyrosine for Depression
  • Vervain for Depression
  • Vitamins for Depression
  • Yoga for Depression
• Eating Disorders Alternative Treatments - Table of Contents
  • Help for Adult Women with Eating Disorders
  • Helping Your Child With Obesity
• Personality Disorders - Danger of Coercive Restraint Therapies
• Schizophrenia Alternative Treatments

Alternative Therapies Websites

• Sageplace
• Sensate Focusing
• Still My Mind

Alternative Medicine Online Conference Transcripts

• Thought Field Therapy
  Guests: Dr. Frank Patton and Phyllis
• Spirituality in the Healing Process
  Guest: Anil Coumar
• Alternative Therapies for Psychological Disorders
  Guest: Bill Dockett
• BirthQuake: The Journey To Wholeness
  Guest: Tammy Fowles

Videos on Alternative Treatments

• Videos on Alternative Treatments Available for Different Mental Health Issues
• By Helping Others, You Help Yourself (HealthyPlace Mental Health Video Show)
• Video on How to Cope with Life's Challenges (HealthyPlace Mental Health Video Show)
• Do Alternative Treatments Really Work for Mental Health? (HealthyPlace Mental Health Video Show)
• Alternative Treatments for Mood Disorders (HealthyPlace Mental Health Video Show)

Books

• Books on Alternative Mental Health

back to: Alternative Mental Health Homepage

Chapter 46 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan

AT ONE EXTREME, work can be overwhelmingly stressful. At the other end of the spectrum, work can be completely boring. Somewhere in the middle, the work is challenging enough to compel your attention and yet not enough to completely outstrip your ability. When you hit that perfect middle zone, work becomes a pleasure.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi at the University of Chicago discovered that people reach this zone more often at work (54 percent of the time) than in leisure (18 percent of the time). When in this zone, people feel creative, active, concentrated, strong and happy - more so than when they're not in that zone.

Work has gotten a bad reputation, probably from the beginning of this century when working conditions were horrible. But those days are over and clearly we have the opportunity to experience a lot of satisfaction while working. The key is matching our skill to the challenge confronting us. When challenges and skills are well matched, we enter the zone. When they are not matched, it's unpleasant - too much challenge is stressful; not enough is boring.

If you are experiencing stress and tension at work, the solution is to increase your skill until it matches your challenge. For example, a typist buried in a backlog of unfinished work feels overwhelmed and tense. The feeling of tension tells him something: He has too much challenge. The solution is more skill, so he asks himself, "What skill could I improve to help me catch up on my backlog?" Maybe his answer is "Typing speed." He buys a typing-tutor program and practices after work. His typing speed increases (and his stress level decreases) until eventually his skill level matches the challenge of the job, and his work enters The Enjoyment Zone.

To cure boredom on the job, you go the other way: Increase the challenge. The way to increase the challenge is to set and pursue goals beyond what is required by the job. Get the job done well and attain some other targets simultaneously. Let's say our typist's program of self-improvement worked so well that it's now a year later and he no longer has any backlog. In fact, he's getting all his work done ahead of time! His job is no longer stressful. Now it's boring.

 

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Boredom makes you feel tired and even apathetic. You feel like you need rest, but what you really need is more challenge.

There are hundreds of ways our typist could increase his challenge. I'll give you two. First, he could try to make his typing as perfect as possible: using the correct finger for every letter, never looking at the keyboard, making no spelling errors, etc. And then, keeping these high standards, he could try to continuously increase his speed. Second, he could look around and see what other challenges (related to the job) he could tackle - reorganizing, making systems more efficient, etc.

Now here's the catch. You knew there was a catch, didn't you? In the pursuit of The Enjoyment Zone, your skills keep increasing. So you need to keep increasing the challenge to keep up with it or you slip out of the zone and into boredom.

But keeping a good match between skills and challenges isn't as hard as it sounds, and the result is more enjoyment, so it's worth the trouble. And since increasing skills are usually associated with increased opportunities for promotions and raises, there is another possible side effect you might enjoy: More money.

If you're bored, increase your challenge.
If you're stressed, increase your skill.

next: Time Management Made Simple

The following books are recommended by Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board posters. Books mentioned most frequently are listed at the top under "Popular." Click on the title to view the corresponding Amazon entry.

Popular:

Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown, Ed.D.

Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal With People Who Try to Control You by Patricia Evans

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller

Loving the Self-Absorbed: How to Create a More Satisfying Relationship with a Narcissistic Partner by Nina Brown, Ed.D.

The Narcissistic Family : Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert M. Pressman

Stop Walking on Eggshells; Coping When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul Mason and Randy Kreger

Toxic Parents : Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life By Susan Forward, Ph.D.

Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb, Ph.D.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans

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Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Recommended Books:

Adult Children of Alcoholics : Expanded Edition by Janet Woititz, Ed.D.

The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron

Banished Knowledge : Facing Childhood Injuries by Alice Miller

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

Coping With Criticism by Jamie Buckingham

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward, Ph.D.

Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap by Bryn Collins, M.A., L.P.

Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting: The Astonishing Power of Feelings by Lynn Grabhorn

Forgive for Good by Dr. Fred Luskin

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz

A General Theory of Love by Fari Amini, Richard Lannon, and Thomas Lewis

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense 2nd Edition by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.

Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.

The Gift of Therapy : An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients by Irvin Yalom

The Golden Ghetto: The Psychology of Affluence by Jessie O'Neill

Healing the Child Within by Charles Whitfield, M.D.

Homecoming : Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw

If You Had Controlling Parents : How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World by Dan Neuharth, Ph.D.

I'm Dying to Take Care of You: Nurses and Codependence: Breaking the Cycles by Candace Snow

I Say a Prayer for Me: One Woman's Life of Faith and Triumph by Stanice Anderson

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Journal to the Self by Kathleen Adams

Love's Executioner : & Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom

Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited by Samuel Vaknin, Ph.D.

Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Man the Manipulator by Everett Shostrom

The Man With The Beautiful Voice: And More Stories from the Other Side of the Couch by Lillian Rubin, Ph.D.

Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them : When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why by Susan Forward, Ph.D. and Joan Torres

Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana

Mind Wide Open : Your Brain and the Neuroscience of Everyday Life by Stephen Johnson

The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment by Joan Lachkar, Ph.D.

Nasty People by Jay Carter, Psy.D.

Peace Is Every Step : The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Nhat Hanh

People of the Lie by M.Scott Peck

The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up by Dan Kiley

Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior by David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.

Practical Dreaming: Awakening the Power of Dreams in Your Life by Lillie Weiss, Ph.D.

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Psychic Vampires: Protection from Energy Predators & Parasites by Joe Slate, Ph.D.

The Psychology of Stalking : Clinical and Forensic Perspectives edited by J. Reid Meloy

The Purpose-Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? By Rick Warren

7 Paths to God: The Ways of the Mystic by Joan Borysenko

The Solo Partner: Repairing Your Relationship on Your Own by Phil Deluca

Stop Being Manipulated: How to Neutralize the Bullies, Bosses, and Brutes in Your Life by George Green, Ph.D. and Carolyn Cotter, MBA

Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman, Ph.D., LCSW

The Tender Heart: Conquering Your Insecurity by Joseph Nowinski, Ph.D.

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-By-Step Guide to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum

Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes by Duke Robinson

The Vein of Gold: The Kingdom of Sound by Julia Cameron

What Should I Do with My Life? : The True Story of People Who Answered the Ultimate Question by Po Bronson

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner

When Good Kids Do Bad Things: A Survival Guide for Parents of Teenagers by Katherine Gordy Levine and Julie Rubenstein

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends : Resolving the Most Complicated Relationship of Your Life by Victoria Secunda

Where Freedom Begins: The Process of Personal Change by Marion Pastor, Ph.D.

Why People Don't Heal and How They Can by Caroline Myss, Ph.D.

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family by Eleanor Payson, M.S.W.

Writing as a Way of Healing : How Telling Our Stories Transforms Our Lives by Louise DeSalvo

Writing the Mind Alive : The Proprioceptive Method for Finding Your Authentic Voice by Linda Trichter Metcalf and Tobin Simon

You Can't Say That to Me: Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse -- An 8-Step Program by Susan Haden Elgin, Ph.D.

You Know He's a Keeper, You Know He's a Loser: Happy Endings and Horror Stories from Real-Life Relationships by Linda Lee Small and Norine Dworkin

About the author: Dr. Grossman is a clinical psychologist and author of the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival web site.

next: Why Can't Some People Maintain Intimate Relationships?

Richard Grossman, Ph.D.

Psychologist

Brookline, MA 02446
617-277-4449

Outpatient Psychotherapy

Licensed Psychologist in private practice, Brookline, MA. 1984-present

Staff, General Psychiatry Practice, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston, MA. 1979-1987

Psychotherapy Supervision

Clinical Supervisor, Boston Institute for Psychotherapies, Boston, MA 1987-1989

Clinical Supervisor, Post-Doctoral Fellowship in Psychotherapy, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston, MA 1986-1987

Clinical Supervisor, Psychology Internship program, Department of Psychology, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston, MA 1982-1988

Clinical Training

Post-Doctoral Fellowship in Psychotherapy, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston, MA 1980-1982

Internship in Clinical Psychology (APA approved) , Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston, MA 1979-1980

Teaching

Instructor, Seminar in Psychotherapy for Psychology Interns, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School 1985-1986

Teaching Fellow, Mental Health Education Program, Boston University. Boston, MA 1978-1979

Teaching Fellow, Department of Psychology, Boston University, Boston, MA 1977-1978

Education

Ph.D., Clinical Psychology--Boston University, Boston, MA 1983

M.A., Clinical Psychology--Boston University, Boston, MA 1980

A.B., Psychology--Cornell University, Ithaca, N.Y. 1977

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Licensure

Psychologist, Massachusetts License #346

About the author: Dr. Grossman is a clinical psychologist and author of the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival web site.

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