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Pink is not one of my favorite colors but I happen to see a lot of it now that I have a baby girl. The large majority of the clothes she has received as gifts are pink. A little bit of pink now and then is fine, but I like to dress her in other colors too and find the lack of non-pink clothes for young girls to be disparaging.
Amanda_HP
Here's how one person in a 10-year relationship with a person with borderline personality disorder describes the experience: "Although I loved this person, I hated the relationship. It was a psychological hell." Coping with someone living with borderline personality disorder can be emotionally exhausting and a difficult challenge. Here's why.
I am currently experiencing low self-esteem in my parenting skills. You see, I'm as punctual as an IRS refund with the soft temperament of a charging rhino and the understanding of a sensitive brick. Add it all up and I don't feel I'm doing so well as a Dad. But am I really doing so badly, or am I just being down on myself?  For some reason, making mistakes all the time affects the ADHD adult's self-esteem. Who knew?
We all take part in the game of denial. Humans need denial to exist. We can’t think about our inevitable death, the fact that we are aging, or that our marriage may end in divorce and expect to care about jobs, mortgage payments and the obvious importance of Jimmy Choos. We know unpleasant possibilities and inevitabilities are true, but on a daily basis we deny them. We need to. Denial produces a workable life. What gets under my skin though, is the fact people expect me to deny my bipolar disorder, my experiences with it, and its effects – mostly just to make them feel better.
When your son or daughter has been diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia or another eating disorder your job description gets a lot longer: now you are a nurse, a researcher, a record-keeper, a team leader, a cheerleader, the chauffeur, and the sounding board for an illness your child probably doesn't believe exists. You are in charge of food, activities, and treatment prescriptions and all while you are on a steep learning curve you hadn't expected. (Read: Finding An Eating Disorder Treatment Specialist) This is a good time to "let things go."
A lot of people seem to think that "re-feeding" is just for treatment of anorexia. I'd like to argue for a different way of looking at weight restoration and nutrition for all eating disorders.
Once you’re on a magical medication cocktail, see doctors regularly, have done years of talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), tried shock therapy (ECT), exercise, have social contacts, a support network, a support group, eat well, tried light therapy, dark therapy, and a series of awful tasting herbs and you find yourself still unwell; the question must be asked: If I’m doing everything right, why am I still sick?
Forget that a symptom of adult ADHD is 'inaccurate self-observation.' I'm not buying it. Truly, nobody likes me. It's not that they tell me so, but I just know, you know? I realize that over 900 people follow me on Twitter, a few thousand people read my two blogs every month, and I have friends who travel 60 minutes every Saturday just to spend time with me, but none of that matters. Because I KNOW . . . I have heard that people with ADHD have inaccurate self-observation, but my observation here is based on hard perceptions. Not facts, no, but a perceived slight is every bit as good as a fact, isn’t it? Maybe not (Adult ADD, ADHD Symptoms and Their Impact).
He thinks he’s showing you love by buying you flowers. You think flowers are better left in the garden and just want him to help you fix the kitchen sink. In love language terms, he may as well be speaking Swahili to you. While his efforts at romance are admirable, he’s wasting his money on gifts while he really should be engaging in acts of service. One of the most useful wedding presents I received is the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. While the book’s Christian overtones may not be everyone’s cup of tea, the book is filled with real examples of couples with problems and practical advice on how to make sure you and your partner are communicating effectively.
I have read that anxiety can be caused by growing up in an atmosphere where you are taught that the world is a very scary place. As a first time parent, I want to protect my little girl from everything and anything that can harm her, however, I don't want to be an overprotective parent and cause her to not have confidence and independence (Can Kids Blame Their Parents for Social Phobias?). It's a balancing act I am still trying to figure out. Are you too relaxed with your children, too uptight, or have you got it all figured out?

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Comments

Elizabeth Caudy
Hi, boo-- Thanks for your comment. I am 100% certain I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been diagnosed with this for decades. Also, you're right, gaining weight isn't the end of the world, and I work very hard to unlearn my fat phobia. Being a feminist helps with that. Lastly, I am not ableist. Elizabeth.
Pam
Thank you for this. If it helps my daughter I feel blessed. Thank you for sharing your emotions thru poetry.
Mike
Our daughter is 34 and about 1 year ago, something triggered her schizophrenia. She has withdrawn from everyone in her family and most of the world. She has blocked anyone on her phone that she thinks is a threat. Now; not paying her rent or bills and has shut out the landlord who is a friend and wants to help but with no luck. Now they have no choice put to evict her.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
Bob
I would love your advice. I had been texting someone I met on a dating app, we moved to instagram and talked all day everyday for 2 weeks, she told me about having Bipolar Disorder. When I shared some of my struggles she would reply in the sweetest, understanding ways. We had really good, deep talks and started talking about meeting up. I liked her a lot, I feel like we really connected.

On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.

A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.

A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.

I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...
boo
its because it's probably not schizoaffective or bipolar, it's likely autism and meds are making things worse bc its something to adjust to not "fix". also gaining weight isn't the end of the world, try unlearning your fat phobia and ableism.