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If you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, recognizing when you're on a downward spiral may be incredibly difficult. Dissociation separates us from our thoughts, feelings, and experiences and makes maintaining awareness of our very realities a monumental challenge. My hope is that by taking stock of my mental health warning signs, I can increase my chances of noticing the next decline in functioning at its inception, rather than coming out of a dissociative fog six months in and wondering what happened to my life.
The holidays aren't the only thing that can send a routine down the tubes.
From very early Monday morning until very early this morning, we had snow. Lots and lots of snow. Roughly 7 inches of the stuff in my neighborhood. Needless to say, school was canceled, and since I wasn't eager to make the 30 mile drive over mostly un-plowed interstate to my office, I stayed home with the kids. And with temperatures in the single digits, we're not in any hurry to get out and make snow angels.
Apparently, one needn't live in a cabin to have "cabin fever."
Anytime of the year is a good time to start organizing, planning and budgeting for the next 365 days. Bipolar disorder tells you not to bother - there's only bad news, there's no way to sort through the mess, and other thoughts that set you up for failure. Press past those thoughts, and gather you bills and invoices. Step by step is the way to do this.
When I think of eating disorders I think of anorexia and bulimia. I think of starvation and compulsive exercising.
When I was pregnant with my first baby, my doctor told me that she didn’t go watch a movie with her husband for two years after their first child. I thought this was absurd…until I experienced first-hand the late-night feedings, round-the-clock diaper changing, and all-around exhaustion that comes with being a new parent. Your little bundle of joy demands so much attention and care that it’s easy to neglect other areas of your life, namely your relationship with your partner.
Why is anxiety viewed as the relatively benign step-child of mental health conditions? Because if you think it's benign, I assure you it's not.
There's a tendency for people to look down on anxiety because maybe it's not the worst case scenario, or there's a bit more of a silver lining to be found - tatty though it may be.
What disturbs me the most is that with depression, they think you're weak - with anxiety, they think you're hysterical but that it's mostly harmless.
For some time now, my mental health has been declining. My partner admitted to me last night that if it were still possible to commit loved ones she would have had me hospitalized months ago. And though I didn't realize she was quite that concerned about my mental condition, she's been telling me that I'm not well for a while now. I've been unwilling to hear it, insulted by what I believed was a lack of faith in me and thoroughly annoyed at her refusal to recognize how brilliant and capable I truly am. Oh denial, my old friend, you've made me a fool once again. Sadly, I doubt it will be the last time. Because I still haven't learned to take mental health warning signs as seriously as I take my pride.
Last week, I received an email from Bob's teacher, filling me in on his first week back at school following winter break. It was about what I expected--he's been pretty hateful and nasty to his peers, unwilling to follow directions, and sneaking around in order to get his way without getting in trouble. In short, not much different than how he's been acting at home for the past couple of weeks. Once again, I ask myself the question--is it time for talk therapy?
What could be more pro-troop than supporting the right of every soldier, sailor, airman and Marine to get appropriate help quickly? PTSD, and often BPD, are physical injuries that manifest psychologically. Signing up for military service does not mean one signs away the right to heal.
As I mentioned last time, many doctors feel that antidepressants actually make bipolar disorder worse. Some specialists, in fact, will routinely take people with bipolar disorder off of antidepressants when the bipolar is doing well. Like I said, it’s a matter of perspective.
And I get asked all the time about getting off of antidepressants and other medication. So, exactly how should you get off an antidepressant and what should you worry about when doing so?
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...