Blogs
On December 28, 2010, I started the process of recovering from anorexia nervosa. Many people ask how I was able to get started when I was going through a multitudes of stressors.
It really was very simple at its core—I woke up that morning, made my breakfast, and proceed to eat one bite at a time. It has been that way ever since.
If you’re in treatment for depression and have ever mentioned a desire to die, you’ve probably heard these questions:
How would you commit suicide?
Have you make a plan to commit suicide?
And others.
So a commenter recently mentioned that this is just a way of “covering their backs,” and “. . . if I were serious about killing myself and had made a plan, why on earth would I tell them?”
This is a logical question, but an uninformed one. In studies, we know that people who attempt suicide do reach out for help and do not really want to die.
Recently, I felt pretty darn sorry for myself. It seems that despite my best efforts, I cannot cut ties with Will, my abuser. Just last night, he came to my home to bring me our final divorce papers. He stood in my living room telling a humorous story of how our youngest son attempted to climb a pine tree with parachute gear. He gave my the papers, and I handed him my military ID card.
Marc, our oldest son who now lives with me because his father choked him in a rage, sat quietly on the couch. I saw my son shrinking into the fibers of the sofa and made a mental note that Will is no longer allowed entry to my home. I will speak to Will on the steps or out by his truck; the man's mere presence disturbs the peace.
Rough week? Symptoms flaring up? Consider building a comfort zone as a way to self-soothe and de-stress. Watch this BPD video.
Amanda_HP
The cycle of dysfunction - you grow up in a significantly dysfunctional family and it has an impact on you. Now you have kids and the cycle of family dysfunction continues. Without recognition and positive change, the family dysfunction is passed from generation to generation.
It's a bit daunting to say the word "never", especially when we are referring to depression. Depression has an element of surprise and the benefit of disguise in it's arsenal, but there is a part of me that believes I never have to go back, that I never will experience the darkest depths of depression ever again.
This week began my new status as an "at home" parent. It's also Bob's first time having me around more than usual and not going to before and after-school care. It wouldn't seem like this would be a situation requiring an adjustment period, but it is.
If anxiety has become your unwanted friend - you may already be familiar with the usual suspects when it comes to the causes of anxiety disorders. We have heredity, brain chemistry, personality and life experiences. But have you taken a moment to consider physical causes of anxiety?
Have you ever felt safe?
Maybe that seems like a stupid question, and if it does, consider yourself lucky is about all I can say. My therapist asked me something like it once, and I ended up triggered, taking a 20 minute tangent via Intellectuals 'R Us to pick up a freakin' clue.
Look hard enough at most things in modern life and they are pretty scary.
Panic: Life = risk?
Life = risk? Is that as good as things get?? Well, catastrophizing ever so slightly less, life = many things but in amongst them, inevitably, is an element of risk.
May is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Awareness Month. While there are many sites with excellent clinical descriptions or offer advice for the loved ones of a person with BPD, there is a lack of information on BPD from the point of view of a person with BPD. So, in honor of BPD Awareness Month, here's what BPD is like for me.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...