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Yes, control issues can cause anxiety, but it is much more complicated than that. Anxiety has us feel like we are “out of control.” This is one of its biggest tricks it has to stay in power over us. It is important for us to see how it makes us feel “out of control,” because once it is visible we can do something about it.
Yesterday morning, Bob said something I've never heard him say before: "I need to see my doctor." (He was referring to his psychiatrist.)
I asked why, and his answer was clear: "Because I can't sleep." I felt awful for him, he looked almost near tears.
He's not the only one. Every morning, as we inch closer to Spring, I find it more difficult to get to sleep (and stay asleep), and more difficult to awake and rise in the morning (What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder [SAD]?).
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." ~ Thomas Alva Edison
Having lived most of their lives with the inconsistency, unpredictability and undependability of life with ADHD, it is incredibly common for adults with ADHD to view themselves as “failures”. Because the executive function of their brain is not always fully activated, it is in fact normal for them to fail at least sometimes, if not frequently. Beginning in early adolescence, these typical failures can become a permanent obstacle to future successes for those with ADHD as it undermines their confidence and willingness to take future chances.
It hurts to have borderline personality disorder (BPD), especially when trauma is a factor. However, people can cause what's called secondary wounding--that is, they can hurt by a person by their reactions when he/she turns to them for help. In her book I Can't Get Over It, Dr. Aphrodite Matsakis writes "Some victims reported that their secondary wounding experiences were more painful and devastating than the original traumatic event."
My most recent post asked if a parent and child should see the same psychiatrist. The consensus was a resounding "NO." (Honestly, can't you people make anything easy?) Admittedly, upon giving the situation further thought, I'd rather preserve my flawless appearance with Bob's psychiatrist and let someone else be privy to my hot-messiness.
And so the search begins. (Sigh.)
Self-talk is something we all do. In psychology they call it intrapersonal communication – or communication with oneself. It could be the voice of your mother in your head tell you to “take a jacket” or the voice of an old lover telling you that “you’re fat” or simply a recitation of the lyrics to YMCA for an hour at a time. However you do it, we all have an inner voice no matter how unconscious it may be.
In my last article, I talked about insomnia and the impact it can have on mental health. I talked about the importance of sleep in our recovery. It can spur feelings that we might be inching close to relapse. Often, insomnia is just insomnia. But oversleeping is different. A lot different. Night and day different--Pardon the horrible pun!
Who doesn't remember the pictures of a fragile and wan-looking Mary Kate Olsen, draped in a pale lavender gown as she and her twin, Ashley Olsen, received their stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? The majority of people saw a young woman on the edge of death; clearly too thin, bones protruding.
Then there are those of us who were enmeshed in our eating disorders. We saw a gorgeous young woman; someone to aspire to be like. Therein lies the dangers of the media.
I've written a lot about myself and my relationships on this blog, but now I'm turning to the tumultuous relationship of a public figure for my inspiration. Last week, we lost an icon, the incandescent Whitney Houston. Now, in her demise, the talk turns to her drug addictions and her relationship with ex-husband Bobby Brown.
Two weeks ago I took a Benadryl because I was struggling with some sinus issues, and a few hours later at work, I felt like I was ‘off.’ I was sort of dazed, out of it, brain was not thinking as quick, and my entire body was tired. It literally took me half an hour to figure out that the Benadryl was the mostly likely cause. I take Benadryl a lot, and rarely feel any side effects, but this day I was completely uncomfortable in my body. I didn’t feel centered or in control of how my body was feeling. It felt like I was drugged, and it was uncomfortable.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...