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I'm far too acquainted with comfort food and depression. I wish I had no knowledge of it, but that's just not true. I admit to comfort-eating when depressed in spite of knowing that it tends to be bad for one's physical health. So, let's dive into what comfort food in depression is and whether it actually offers any benefit.
Recovery is never as easy as simply saying, "do not hurt yourself." But if I could send a letter into the past, this is what I would write to myself. And who knows, you or someone you know who self-harms or is thinking about it may need to hear these words, too.
How a mother cares for her children can directly impact how they handle future relationships, especially when it comes to boys. A boy may learn empathy, emotional regulation, and self-confidence from his mom. However, when the connection between these two contains verbal abuse, he may show aggression towards others, be anxious, or even deal with depression.
Everyone procrastinates at some point or another, and it's completely normal. But in my experience, depression takes procrastination to a whole new level. Why is this? I guess it is because of nihilistic thinking, exhaustion, and lack of motivation, all of which can be symptoms of depression. No matter what the reason is, depression and procrastination often go hand in hand.
This is not the first time I’ve talked about my cat affecting my mental health on this blog, and it will not be the last. I’ve struggled with writer's block as of late, but writing about my cat is very easy because he makes me feel happy, and I feel that there’s so much I can talk about regarding him. He is probably the thing that helps me the most when I am feeling down because he is always there for me.
Last week I applied for the disability tax credit (DTC). The DTC is something we have in Canada for people with severe disabilities that still pay taxes. It doesn't just allow for a tax credit; it also allows for access to extended medical healthcare, special retirement savings benefits, and more. If you have been reading Breaking Bipolar for a very long time, you might recall that I previously applied for the disability tax credit and was rejected. Well, last week, we entered round two of applying for the disability tax credit.
I wear two rings that I fidget with. One is a spinner ring designed for fidgetting; the other is a ring that's actually three interlocking rings which just happens to be good for fidgeting. I've always enjoyed wearing rings, even to the point that, in high school and early university, I wore rings on nearly every finger. Back then, it was more aesthetic-driven, but I've realized that wearing rings I can fidget with helps my anxiety.
Anxiety is like the aftermath of vivid dreams or nightmares. Most of the time, you recognize the physical symptoms of anxiety right away. Other times, worry builds gradually and then morphs into anxiety and/or panic attacks. Anxiety can last for a short time, or it can extend into obsessive thoughts that last for a long time. Thankfully, I've found that affirmations can help to reduce (and even release) the power of anxiety before it gets worse. To learn about these affirmations and why they can help, continue reading this post.
When meeting new people, I can become obsessive about looking for approval. Due to living with borderline personality disorder (BPD), I often feel separate from others and like my sense of self is undefined. Therefore, I sometimes change my external personality traits to better connect with other people and feel accepted.
It's a strange irony that the skills I learned from being part of the team here at HealthyPlace are the reason that I'm leaving my position. Hear me out, and I'll try to explain what I mean.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...