Blogs
I live, I love, I laugh, I cry. I’m not perfect. No one is, not you or I. ~ Unk
Meaning of Perfect
Are you striving to be perfect? Have you made mistakes? Are you judgmental of self and others? What does perfect mean and look like to you?
I know plenty of people who have a mental illness, including myself, and quite often there is a recurring theme of stigma in our relationships with our significant other; where we often feel like a burden to our partner, and when treated poorly, we tend to discern that we do not deserve any better. Having a mental illness can negatively affect your self-esteem and self-worth, which is often reflected in the way we view ourselves and we quite often accept a partner’s behavior that negatively affects our well-being.
I’ve stated many times how helpful books can be when overcoming self-harm. There have been numerous books I have discussed that helped me when I was struggling to understand my own addiction to cutting. In a world where self-harm is seen by many as taboo, it is good to fall into a story where the topic is relatable and real.
I developed dissociative identity disorder in much the same way that many people do. I grew up with an abusive father and a loving, but oblivious, mother who inadvertently taught me how to pretend that what was happening to me wasn’t happening at all. I was an imaginative child and dissociation came easy to me. Telling the truth about what was going on in my home, however, has never been easy. So, when I told you not to go around saying that child abuse causes dissociative identity disorder, I didn’t do it because I wasn’t abused; I did it because I was.
![Becky Doyle, author of "Debunking Addiction", talks about her own addiction to alcohol and how her recovery from alcoholism changed her life.](/sites/default/files/styles/blog_listing/public/uploads/2014/10/backy-doyle-267x350.jpg?itok=BNIHIPS- "About Becky Doyle, Author of the "Debunking Addiction" Blog")
Hi, my name is Becky and I’m a grateful, recovering alcoholic – and I mean that with total sincerity. My life was changed for the better when I finally put down the bottle in November of 2009. Consequently, I have been blessed with incredible friendships and a life that I never knew I wanted.
Last weekend, I had a conversation with a good friend. The conversation involved a disagreement, and I honestly thought I might have a heart attack. I don’t disagree well. Doing so increases my anxiety, sometimes to panic attack proportions. Typically, I change the subject or, better yet, excuse myself and run. This time, though, I stuck it out. One, the woman is a good friend who is used to me, and two, the subject was anxiety. I wanted to stick around for that discussion. The essence of the debate was this: can anxiety be accepted as part of who one is and thus shoved to the background of existence and be practically ignored, or is anxiety bigger than that, something that cannot, will not, be accepted and ignored?
Hello, I’m Fay Agathangelou and I’m thrilled to be writing for the Building Self-Esteem Blog. I am a former life coach, with a philosophy of living life to the fullest, and being the best person you can be. As well as holistic life coaching, I am particularly passionate about wellness and confidence building. I believe that having a healthy self-esteem is the key to following your dreams and living the life you want without the fears that hold so many people back. I also believe that embracing your individuality is vital for healthy self-esteem. It is important to be comfortable with who you are in order to live the best possible life. Uniqueness is what makes us all special so let’s embrace that. It is astonishing that so many people don’t see their overall worth as a person. They don’t see their good qualities and that gets in the way of their health and happiness.
As I continue to recover from a recent depressive episode, I’ve noticed that I’m better able to deal with my inner critic, as well as be more in the present moment. For example, recently, I found myself unsure how to proceed with a project at work. If I had been feeling more depressed, my inner critic would have taken this as an opportunity to try to push me down further. I was able to fight this by being in the present moment.
I have this thing, and I don’t know if it’s the bipolar, specifically, but I get wired and tired at the same time and it sure feels bipolar-y to me.
This week, the walls of anxiety are closing in. The world appears absolutely insane, and I feel like a dog in a plastic kennel that's too small, pacing and turning in an ever-tightening circle.
I have no anxiety tips, tricks, or techniques for you this week, because I feel like absolute crap. I seem to always make videos or audio posts when I'm in crisis too. I don't know why that is.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...