Blogs
You've likely heard the saying, "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." It's the phrase that someone utters when the alcoholic in his or her life goes on yet another bender or relapses after white-knuckling it to stay sober. It's usually said with frustration, contempt, or even worse, pity. I used to hate to hear the phrase, especially in my early attempts at recovery, when I struggled unsuccessfully to stop drinking. To me, it meant that my failure at sobriety was inevitable - that I would continue to return to the very thing that was destroying my relationships, my spirit, and my life, no matter how hard I tried to control it. Was I just destined to always be an alcoholic?
Moving on from verbal abuse isn't easy. For a long time, I couldn't get past the verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse in my previous relationship because I hadn't confronted it. In practical terms, I moved on quickly. We didn't have any children, so I was able to move out of our home and get on with my life (minus a brief and horrible reunion, several abusive texts and some social media blocking). Within months, I met someone else and learned what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. However, feeling safe and comfortable in my own skin after two years of psychological damage wasn't easy. Almost six years later, here's how I moved on from verbal abuse and why I'm leaving the Verbal Abuse in Relationships blog.
The effects of denial when you live with bipolar disorder are extreme. We think that refusing to accept a diagnosis of bipolar disorder will eventually erase it from our lives. However, it is an incurable illness, and the longer you deny it, the more damage you are doing to yourself.
If you have anxiety, then you may have noticed that some habits seem to make your anxiety worse while some prevent anxiety. Here are some daily habits I have that help to prevent anxiety.
You can cultivate a positive outlook without also creating expectations that cause anxiety. Have you ever felt so worried about something that you couldn't focus on your family, friends, or work? For me, the answer is certainly yes -- especially when I'm thinking about something I really want to happen. I've found myself thinking a lot about expectations, specifically how my expectations increase my anxiety and make it harder for me to focus on the present. For graduate school, I have a lot of expectations for myself, involving grades, developing research, and cultivating relationships. And although in some ways it is beneficial to have expectations, ultimately, they engender a narrow perspective that ignores a host of positive outcomes.
How are happiness and creativity linked? Being creative can make you happier, especially in a life where many of us feel our lives are over-structured. We’re generally working or looking for work during certain hours, expected time with friends and family at other times, and even eat or sleep at fairly regular intervals. Our minds can become fatigued with these patterns, which is why vacations feel so refreshing; we get to interrupt those strict guidelines and do whatever we want for some time. Creativity creates happiness.
Until recent years, throughout the African American community, there was a general consensus that therapy and mental health issues only concerned white Americans or people of affluence. Also, mental health treatment was not an option for most African Americans who were struggling financially. I believe that African Americans’ history of mistrust of doctors due to medical experimentation on blacks is also a reason for this belief that mental health issues were something others had to deal with.
As anyone who has been in an abusive relationship will tell you, patterns of verbal abuse exist. These abusive patterns (combined with tactics like gaslighting and manipulation) create misplaced feelings of trust and codependency and keep survivors coming back for more. Statements like "you're being too sensitive" or "you're imagining things" can make the abusive cycle even more confusing, causing survivors of abuse to think the problem lies with them. If this sounds familiar, you could be in an abusive relationship. Here are five common patterns of verbal abuse to watch out for.
Dealing with schizoaffective anxiety is important to me because anxiety has taken so much away from me. I'm afraid to do so many simple things, like driving in the rain or washing my hair. There are other things I can't do because I have anxiety--I used to be a voracious reader but now I'm so restless I can't get lost in a good book anymore. However, my husband Tom and I have come up with a strategy based on my cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) homework that I'm hoping will help in dealing with schizoaffective anxiety, and maybe it can help you, too.
What is anxiety? Odd as it may seem, that is a common, and quite legitimate, question. People who live with anxiety typically understand that they are experiencing it. Anxiety feels stressful, crushing, stifling, shocking, painful, and incredibly difficult. People typically know when anxiety is interfering in their lives. But what, exactly, is anxiety? How is it experienced? Is anxiety a thought? Is it an emotion? Is it a behavior? The more you know what anxiety is and about your own unique experience with it, the better equipped you'll be to use the right strategies to move past it.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...