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My name is Bethany Avery, and I suffer from complex posttraumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). I started showing symptoms of C-PTSD when I was 16 years old, and I first sought treatment for my disorder when I was in college. Finding solid footing in the shaky world that C-PTSD creates has been a tough but important battle, and I’m excited to share my story and coping methods as part of the "Trauma! A PTSD Blog" at HealthyPlace.
A diagnosis of mental illness can be shocking for both the patient and their loved ones and, unfortunately, lead to a lack of support. Prior to my husband’s schizophrenia diagnosis, I held a skewed view of mental illness believed the stigma surrounding it. After his diagnosis, I repeatedly asked myself why it couldn’t be something more seemingly straightforward, such as anxiety or depression. I learned to accept his illness over time, but it is difficult when others are not able to do the same. The lack of support we've been shown in our struggle hurts.
A quick story about toxic people and self-esteem: Imagine you decide to plant a tiny sprout in your garden. When it flourishes, it will bring you deep joy. But first, it needs your focus and care to grow. Those who come into your garden and see your sprout give you support and space, encouraging your progress. But occasionally, a different kind of person comes into your garden. Knowingly or unknowingly, they march across the soil, step on your plants, and in the worst-case scenario, grind your tiny sprout into nothing.
In September and then again in January, I increased my antipsychotic for schizoaffective disorder even though I knew it would probably cause weight gain. And, it did. But I am much better off now mentally than I was before I made the changes, so I don’t want to decrease the schizoaffective medication just to lose weight.
Can you really reduce social anxiety with mindfulness meditation? Social anxiety can be life-limiting, its negative effects filling people with seemingly constant fear and dread. You can indeed reduce social anxiety with mindfulness; however, it's a persistent and gradual process of meeting the root of this type of anxiety and creating a sense of calm rather than agitation. Let's look at how this happens and gain a mindfulness meditation to help reduce social anxiety. 
Having depression can sometimes lead to developing negative habits as we try to cope. Often things that aren't necessarily wise or healthy feel good at the moment. Sometimes it's easier to do what is comfortable rather than that which requires work and sacrifice. Also, depression drains us of our energy, thus making it difficult to take even that first step towards building healthier habits. Does this mean we're stuck? No, we're not; we just need to identify our negative habits and work toward changing them into more positive coping skills.
Setting healthy boundaries now that my abusive relationship has ended is one of the most difficult things I’ve had to figure out recently. 
You'll never know what you're truly capable of until you take risks and push yourself. This applies to everyone -- with or without a mental illness.
The mainstream culture needs more advocates for eating disorder awareness—and as someone in pursuit of healing for your own life, you could become an advocate.
Using mindfulness for self-harm is a dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) skill. Dialectical behavior therapy is an effective type of treatment used for issues of self-harm. Originally developed to treat borderline personality disorder (BPD), it is currently used to treat a variety of mental illnesses such as eating disorders and chronic depression. Dialectical behavior therapy targets emotion dysregulation to help patients cope with the severity of their distress.

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Comments

Elizabeth Caudy
Hi, boo-- Thanks for your comment. I am 100% certain I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been diagnosed with this for decades. Also, you're right, gaining weight isn't the end of the world, and I work very hard to unlearn my fat phobia. Being a feminist helps with that. Lastly, I am not ableist. Elizabeth.
Pam
Thank you for this. If it helps my daughter I feel blessed. Thank you for sharing your emotions thru poetry.
Mike
Our daughter is 34 and about 1 year ago, something triggered her schizophrenia. She has withdrawn from everyone in her family and most of the world. She has blocked anyone on her phone that she thinks is a threat. Now; not paying her rent or bills and has shut out the landlord who is a friend and wants to help but with no luck. Now they have no choice put to evict her.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
Bob
I would love your advice. I had been texting someone I met on a dating app, we moved to instagram and talked all day everyday for 2 weeks, she told me about having Bipolar Disorder. When I shared some of my struggles she would reply in the sweetest, understanding ways. We had really good, deep talks and started talking about meeting up. I liked her a lot, I feel like we really connected.

On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.

A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.

A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.

I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...
boo
its because it's probably not schizoaffective or bipolar, it's likely autism and meds are making things worse bc its something to adjust to not "fix". also gaining weight isn't the end of the world, try unlearning your fat phobia and ableism.