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Happiness after verbal abuse is possible, although every version of verbal abuse is different (including variations of personality, perception and how severe the verbal abuse was). While I strongly believe in the power to rebuild yourself after a verbally abusive relationship and most of my blog articles focus on this aspect, there's one important step that should not be overlooked, and that's the phase of letting yourself be hurt. Happiness after verbal abuse is possible if you endure this step of the process.
It's that time of year where we all try and remember the importance of gratitude, so I want to take a moment to reflect on why I'm so grateful for the recovery progress I've made in the last year. Recovery is never a linear process, which means I've had my share of backslides, but I've also taken several important steps forward, and that should be celebrated.
Vulnerability is not something we normally link with self-esteem. We are much more inclined to picture an impenetrable sort of confidence, a version of ourselves where nothing can breach our walls of strength and self-adoration. Yet vulnerability is not only an incredibly powerful tool for those already on the road towards building self-esteem–it is also a very good place to start.
Recently, my excellent therapist suggested that I try to start needing reassurance less often from other people. My schizoaffective disorder makes me doubt myself and second-guess myself a lot, so I often ask other people if something I’m doing or did or that happened is okay. But doing that only reinforces the idea that I’m not capable. So I’m trying to be more independent. Here’s how needing reassurance less often is going.
As this decade is reaching its end, I am reminded of how long behavioral addictions have haunted me and exactly how far I've come. Around 2010, I first began exploring my sexuality as a teenager and I quickly learned how helpful sex could be as a coping skill for a struggling and defiant teenager like myself. Over time though, I wasn't just relying on sex to cope, my tendency to rely on certain behaviors or activities to survive slowly spread to nearly every area of my life including things like food, social media, shopping, and probably even others that I'm not fully aware of. Behavioral addictions are especially tricky to conquer because they commonly involve the most regular and routine aspects of our lives and they often go completely unnoticed.
When one is severely depressed, work is usually the last thing on one's mind. In fact, many people, including me, have to battle active suicidal ideation and struggle to get out of bed each day. Unfortunately, work doesn't stop just because you are not in the right state of mind to do it. If you are one of the lucky few who can take time off from work, go ahead and do it right away. But if your workplace or job does not allow for you to take a break, here is how you can stay productive even when you are severely depressed.
I fake normalcy because having a mental illness is isolating and makes me feel different. Facing the outside world can be difficult. Here are five coping methods (positive and negative) I noticed I do when I leave the house that help me fake normalcy.
I’ve been a pretty massive introvert with anxiety for my entire life. Compared to the population at large, my threshold for social interaction has always been exceedingly low; even after a simple night out with friends, I generally need at least a day of alone time to recover. Of course, I’ve struggled with severe anxiety for my entire life as well, and because of that, I thank God that I’m an introvert. I sincerely believe the fact that I’m an introvert with anxiety makes it easier to keep my anxiety under control.
Deciding to tell someone about your posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) diagnosis can be a stressful decision. It's tough to open up about your mental health, especially after going through a traumatic experience. Will people understand? Will they judge you?

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Elizabeth Caudy
Hi, boo-- Thanks for your comment. I am 100% certain I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been diagnosed with this for decades. Also, you're right, gaining weight isn't the end of the world, and I work very hard to unlearn my fat phobia. Being a feminist helps with that. Lastly, I am not ableist. Elizabeth.
Pam
Thank you for this. If it helps my daughter I feel blessed. Thank you for sharing your emotions thru poetry.
Mike
Our daughter is 34 and about 1 year ago, something triggered her schizophrenia. She has withdrawn from everyone in her family and most of the world. She has blocked anyone on her phone that she thinks is a threat. Now; not paying her rent or bills and has shut out the landlord who is a friend and wants to help but with no luck. Now they have no choice put to evict her.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
Bob
I would love your advice. I had been texting someone I met on a dating app, we moved to instagram and talked all day everyday for 2 weeks, she told me about having Bipolar Disorder. When I shared some of my struggles she would reply in the sweetest, understanding ways. We had really good, deep talks and started talking about meeting up. I liked her a lot, I feel like we really connected.

On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.

A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.

A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.

I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...
boo
its because it's probably not schizoaffective or bipolar, it's likely autism and meds are making things worse bc its something to adjust to not "fix". also gaining weight isn't the end of the world, try unlearning your fat phobia and ableism.