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Perfectionism, in my opinion, creates unhappiness and is frequently misunderstood. Many people think that a perfectionist is just someone who has color-coded planners or follows all the rules. They can't observe the self-criticism and constant disappointment lurking in a perfectionist's deepest thoughts. Perfectionists make the best task-doers, but often, they are the most unhappy.
It’s not a surprise that I am a fan of art of all kinds. I have written on this blog, in the past, about poetry and music. Today I’d like to talk about anxiety and art, specifically why art is such a powerful force in the management of anxiety.
I recently had to hire someone to help clean my apartment, and this made me feel like a failure. And when I say failure, I mean I felt like an abject failure. I actually cried when I made the appointment. I don't want someone in my space. I don't want someone touching my things. I don't want someone doing things I should be capable of doing. In short, I don't want help. Help makes me feel like a failure.
When I was new to eating disorder recovery, I thought it would dominate my life. I thought about it all the time. I was in constant fear that I'd somehow fail, and fall back into the grips of the disease, and lose sight of why I was trying so hard to get better in the first place. Everything I read about eating disorder recovery made it seem like it was a lifelong, grueling, exhausting battle. It turns out that statement was only partially correct. Yes, eating disorder recovery is a lifelong process, but it is not a process that will dominate your life.
The amount of trauma that each person with dissociative identity disorder (DID) has undergone varies, but the end result is the same. Having DID means needing to live with the possibility of being triggered on a frequent basis, but what does this mean? What does it look like when a person with DID is triggered?
A few nights ago, I used a crisis text line for the first time. I had no idea what to expect; I just knew I was in too dark of a place to really manage it on my own anymore. So I reached out, and I'm really glad I did. (Note: This post has a trigger warning.)
If you struggle with self-harm, you probably don’t sleep very well. Sleeping too much or not enough often travels with emotional pain. However, poor sleep habits (known as sleep hygiene) can be detrimental to our mental health. It can increase our self-harm urges or lead to other serious problems, so practicing good sleeping habits is key to recovery.
Talking isn't enough to break mental health stigma, which I think may be a hard pill to swallow. I know how impactful conversation and general mental health awareness efforts can be on an interpersonal level, and I don't mean to say those things aren't important. However, we need to understand that they're not enough to break mental health stigma entirely, and here's why.
Coping with depression is a daily battle. Depression recovery can take years, and there is no such thing as a "quick fix." There are, however, things you can do to bring rapid relief in times of stress, anxiety, and panic attacks. For me, that relief has come in the form of autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) — a strange online phenomenon that has been a source of comfort and relaxation for millions since the mid-2000s, even though most people have no idea what it is.
Talking is something that has never failed to help me positively navigate my depression. Empathetic conversations with friends are soothing to me in moments of intense sadness related to my depression. Not all conversations with a trusted individual go as planned though.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...