Helping a Spouse with Schizoaffective Disorder

November 15, 2017 Guest Author

A mental illness, like schizoaffective disorder, in your spouse can be challenging. Learn how to help a spouse with schizoaffective disorder here.I have learned that helping a spouse with schizoaffective disorder is not trivial. I have been married for almost eight years now to a woman named Hannah, we have a beautiful four-year-old daughter and I always thought that our life was perfect. However, two years ago, Hanna was diagnosed with anxiety and schizoaffective disorder, and everything changed. It is really hard to live with a person, who is dealing with such problems and I see how they affect our daily lives and our daughter. We no longer have that spark, tenderness and trust. Very often, we simply don’t have topics to discuss as my spouse with schizoaffective disorder can remain silent for days or disappear for hours.

I know that we will eventually beat this illness and everything will get back to normal but I am not sure what damage it may cause to our daughter and marriage.

How Schizoaffective Disorder Changes Spouses

There are different forms of schizoaffective disorder, each of which has different treatment programs and approach. Usually, patients have a chance to go through the schizoaffective therapy from home, visiting doctors regularly and doing mental exercises without staying at the hospital.

However, this causes additional stress to both spouses and the marriage: there are many problems they need to face and often it is almost impossible to cope with them without someone’s assistance. Often, spouses with schizoaffective disorder disconnect from the world and become indifferent to everything. They don’t spend time with their children, don’t cook and can leave the house without informing others. This may happen even on daily basis. Spouses of those with schizoaffective disorder need to always know where such a person is to avoid possible troubles.

How You Can Help a Spouse with Schizoaffective Disorder

If your spouse is dealing with a schizoaffective disorder, you need to follow all the instructions therapists and doctors provide, as every case is individual and only professionals know how to speed up the recovery process. Here is some advice on helping a spouse with schizoaffective disorder:

  • Be patient and attentive. The recovery may not be as fast as you expect. Be ready to pay careful attention to every detail and follow all the professional recommendations. For now, you are responsible for the wellbeing of your spouse with schizoaffective disorder.
  • Don’t skip therapy sessions and remind your loved one to take his or her schizoaffecitve medications regularly.
  • No access to sharp objects, person-tracking tools and other things, may speed up recovery.

If you want to win this battle, you need to be aware of all the methods modern science and technologies have to offer. Make sure you are well aware of all the coping tools the world has to offer. With their help, you will be able to provide safety and recovery to the person you love.

This article was written by:

A mental illness, like schizoaffective disorder, in your spouse can be challenging. Learn how to help a spouse with schizoaffective disorder here.Kevin Reynolds, one of the developers, working on the creation of the latest phone tracking software, which will help people around the world make sure their loved ones are safe and secure. Find Kevin on Twitter and Google+.

To be a guest author on the Your Mental Health Blog, go here.

APA Reference
Author, G. (2017, November 15). Helping a Spouse with Schizoaffective Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 19 from

Author: Guest Author

Fene Louis
October, 18 2018 at 1:46 pm

My wife is suspected to have this condition. We’ve been together almost 9 years. She has been detached and she’s expressed the desire to get a divorce and wants to move to a different state to live on her own. It has me really confused I don’t know if it’s true feelings or the anti Depressants she’s been taking a week

October, 18 2018 at 3:11 pm

Hi Fene,
I can't comment on your specific case but what I can tell you is that if your wife has schizoaffective disorder and takes antidepressants alone, that may make things worse. If this is the case, you should be talking to a psychiatrist immediately.
As for whether what she's currently saying is related to the medication, I can't say. The only thing I suggest is that you work with your partner and her psychiatrist (and hopefully therapist too) and work through those issues together.
- Natasha Tracy
- Blog Manager
- Author of "Breaking Bipolar"

November, 14 2018 at 1:38 pm

My husband has just been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He definitely is less concerned with our 2 kids and only wants a social life now. My biggest concern is, will my kids get this disease too? I’m so scared.

November, 28 2018 at 9:44 am

I am currently engaged to a man with this disorder. We are a special case because he is in prison and won’t be home for another year or two. The prison system does not really manage mental health well, even though they argue they take it very seriously. It has left me feeling as if we have two very different versions of seriously. Anyways, he is paranoid that I am going to leave him. No matter how many times I tell him and show him I’m not, it’s still this constant battle. I love him and I will not abandoned him while he’s in there. I want us to continue to grow because he truly is an amazing man and loves me endlessly. But I’m his only friend, I’m the only one on the outside who talks to him continually. Everyday, it’s me. I take his frustrations, I hear his concerns, I fight for him. I don’t know what to do though. The arguments have gotten stronger, he is always accusing me of cheating or wanting to cheat, he’s scared something bad is going to happen to me, and he wants to be home. Are there ways of dealing with this in a healthy way. I want to help him, not hinder him. I am searching the internet for something, anything.

November, 30 2018 at 3:10 pm

My fiance was diagnosed in June. Finally after suffering for years and being misdiagnosed they know what is won't and it gives me hope that he will get better. I need help tho!!! I don't know how to help him. He's been having a lot of really awful episodes lately and I don't know how to get through to him to get him to come back. It seems like no matter what I do or say it just makes things worse. Someone please help me. This man is the love of my life. He's brilliant and kind and loving. But theres this other part of him and he's not even the same person. Someone please help me.

December, 17 2018 at 1:30 am

I am happily married to a man who has a dx. schizoaffective type bipolar 1. I have two boys one with a dx. of schizophrenia and other with bipolar. I have learned that to be happy and successful is to take care of myself. Spending time with friends and positive support people. NAMI is really wonderful. Plan the fun things I want to do with my family is important too. If they choose to participate great and if not they may want to next time. They want to be included. I provide accommodations for them when needed. Expect that they will take care of themselves, but when they can’t I help them and advocate for them. I know it cycles and enjoy and appreciate good times. It’s important to ask for help during the hard times and to have respite time away from them.

April, 8 2019 at 11:55 pm

I am in desperation on how to help my husband who is suspected to have schizoeffective bipolar disorder, manic type. We have 5 children and I alone am the only one supporting our family. He had an episode 7 years ago where I ended up somehow convincing him to let me take him to the emergency room because I thought he was on some really bad drugs. He was full of energy, and very excited all the time and very skinny. He barely slept on top of everything else.
Not that it's a bad thing, but I also couldn't help but notice all of a sudden he was preaching to me and everyone he knew about the Bible. So thinking he was on heavy duty drugs, I took him to the emergency room and they came out with schizoaffective bipolar disorder for his diagnosis. With a short few months his symptoms subsided and I didn't think anything more of it because I really wasn't educated about the illness. He has always heard voices over the radio ever since and was very paranoid about the government coming after him but his moods were fine until recently when he decided that God wanted him to be sober minded and he suddenly quit taking medications not related to his underlying mental illness and I believe it triggered the worse episode yet. My husband never sleeps, he talks about things that are fantasy but he believes they are real, he is quick to anger if I say the wrong thing, he can go from being calm and easy going to screaming and yelling profanities, he makes spontanious and daring decisions that can be life threatening and dangerous. It's as if he has no fear of consequences or even dying. I recently called a psychiatrist for myself because I thought I was losing my mind. But when I told her how my husband was acting and about the voices he was hearing and how unstable his moods were she told me without hesitation that my husband has schizoaffective bipolar disorder. Now that I know what's going on I'm lost on how to get him help or even how to cope with him. He refuses to take medication ever again because God tells him it is a sin to take medications that alter your mind. I feel hopeless because there is no way I can even tell him about his illness because he sees nothing wrong with him. He sees that there is something wrong with everyone else trying to help him. Can someone please tell me where I can get help? Especially where I can talk to someone to help me convince him that he is severely mentally ill and that he needs to be on medication? My relationship with my husband is being severely damaged and I feel helpless to stop it. He will not hold a job for more than a couple months and he is constantly leaving his family for months at a time with his spontaneous behavior. Please, we need help. For myself, our children, and most of all my husband whom I've been with for 18 years. I can't let all those wonderful years go down the drain without a fight. I love my family too much. Someone please help us.

David b
October, 24 2019 at 7:01 pm

You are not alone there are others like you
I am a newlywed and have been dealing with this for seven years
You need to have him sectioned to a hospital where they will get him regulated and have services available like a psychiatrist and therapist. He will say he hates you and you are the worst but once he gets on a med plan (antipsychotic like latuda or invega ) it will get much better
Once he is leveled out have a meeting with doctor social worker and therapist and set out on a new path
You can do this, it is very hard but you need to stay strong and take care of yourself for your family
Look into NAMI
Go find others like you
Search for ‘recovery learning center online
Tell your insurance you need counseling

March, 25 2020 at 2:05 pm

The underlying beliefs in God and God's command has to be removed. That's what causes erroneous behavior. Authority that commands mind has to be removed. We all think, and after thinking we act on that thought. We become what we think. Educate him on sleep rather than telling it simply to sleep. Try Buddhism. It has no God, no authority, mind education, and calming practice s.

July, 25 2020 at 4:35 am

So many stories that sound all to familiar. Almost two years ago I meet a wonderful sweet man. I was at a all time low. I had lost 2 friends to cancer, 1 from a heart attack after leaving my house ( gathering with friends),2 days later I had not heard from him and against others advice I went looking for him and found him. He hadn’t even made it in the house. Then 3 friends and my nephew to suicide. This was all in 18 months. I had met this wonderful man soon after this, so when my husband at the time came home and told me he didn’t love me and hadn’t in 3 1/2 yrs... I left my house and moved in with my new friend for 6 months before getting back into what’s now our home.
I stared noticing different behavior within the first month I moved in with him. I didn’t want to go anywhere for a while so, maybe the control issues didn’t really bother me at first. Didn’t even notice at first. Then if I wasn’t looking at someone they were looking at me. New icons started showing up on my phone. The screen in my car looked different. At this point my family started thinking I was crazy. My Dad saw what I know now him in a cationic psychosis . Said had to be using drugs. This is all ppl want to think in a small town. So, I am in this alone. It took me moths to think to record him and play it for him the next day. He had told me something was wrong with his son but, not what. ( son is 30 yrs) . I didn’t sleep that night I studied typed in everything I’d seen and came up with schizophrenia. Before I told him I asked what his son had. “Schizophrenia’ yep.
I knew nothing about this disease. I had no idea how hard this would be. I’ve cried more than I ever had. Sometimes out of anger and other times, it’s sadness. His 58 years old. Come to find out he never knew life without schizophrenia. Didn’t know some of his thoughts and actions weren’t.... I like to say, different then most people’s way . I think about the way he was rejected as a child being different, the heartbreaks he suffered from loosening any type of relationship. All ways only seeing that he was done wrong. And, never seeing that others most likely were innocent of his accusations. Some things in his life, probably didn’t happen. ( at least not quite like he remembered.) What a slap in the face. I’ve fought to try to get him help. I’ve explained to family and friends. People are just so unaware of what schizophrenia is really like. I first sat without a word when he would tell me some stories about his Dad (that he didn’t want to be like). Such as how he would come home, have to beers and call his Mom names. Called his Dad a drunk. ( 2 beers?) Suddenly going from the best person in the world to every nasty name you can think of myself, I finally told him his Dad was not a drunk, he was a victim of schizophrenia. Anyway come to find out I think a Aunt, cousin, son and I’m 100% sure his dad ( never did get diagnosed or even tried to) all had schizophrenia.
It’s been almost a yr since his diagnosis. We have been though four or five different pills. With no avail. No therapy offered, no support groups. Help!!! I feel alone and frustrated at times. A lot of lately! His mouth! He’s so rude, jealous, smart mouth! Everything I never wanted. Where’s that wonderful man of my dreams?

May, 4 2022 at 5:10 pm

My wife took off to another state, has all the schitzoaffective disorder symtoms, last episode tried to get her help, but she took off. Mental health in my county and hers are aware of the situation! My doctor said try to get ambulance but police were sent because she was already on the road! Very scary and sad I can't make contact with her, I had sheriffs locate her to make sure she was safe! she told sheriffs to not come around no more and for me to not try and contact her!! She also took our two dogs! 16yrs together last seven have been detrimental to my health!! I've taken good care of her! But she sees me as someone trying to harm her! She has delusions, hallucinations ,anger excessive spending, rages, all the symptoms , narcissism as well. No empathy, gaslighting, blame shift, sexual delusions, anxieties, alcohol, cannibis, nicotine, and to much caffeine!!

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