Insecure thoughts keep you from being happy and impact one's entire wellbeing. Everyone is insecure in some capacity, including me. The problem is that insecurities can be insidious and take over your life. They can keep you from feeling confident enough to try the things you know will make you happy. You don’t get to live your life when you are letting your negative thoughts and insecurities run the show. You don’t have to let insecure thoughts keep you from being happy any more.

Learning to say no confidently is a challenge many people face, particularly those with low self-esteem. Too many people are afraid to say no and that comes with consequences. For example, it makes it very easy for others to take advantage of you and your own needs don’t get met. You might take on too many things or do things you resent doing. You could become overwhelmed, burned out, anxious, depressed, angry or bitter at the other person. This is not good for your physical or mental health. Learning to say no confidently is important for your own self-care and overall wellbeing.

Stop being too hard on yourself because being too hard on yourself goes hand-in-hand with a low self-esteem. Signs of being too hard on yourself include excessive self-blame, self-criticism, negative self-judgement, self-punishment, and dwelling on your mistakes or flaws. Additionally, you may overlook or discount your positives. It is detrimental to your wellbeing and it’s important to stop it. Stop being too hard on yourself and build your self-esteem. 

What are your rights in relationships? Do you feel like others take advantage of you or that they don't listen to you? Do you feel like you wish others would be more appreciative or respect you more? If so, you need to get clear on what your rights are in your relationships, it will help you feel more confident and you will develop healthier connections with others.

Expecting too much from yourself is damaging to your self-esteem and overall wellbeing. It's good to have high standards, but it's important to be reasonable with yourself. Expecting too much from yourself can be associated with disappointment, burnout, anxiety, and depression, as well as low self-esteem. It's therefore in your best interest to stop expecting too much from yourself.

Your time on social media messes with your confidence whether you're aware of it or not. You may think surfing Facebook, scrolling through Instagram or chatting with friends online is harmless, but recent research, and my own personal experience, says social media messes with your confidence and can damage your self-esteem.  

Self-esteem might help with happiness, but is self-esteem the key to happiness? In answering this question, let’s look at the similarities between self-esteem and happiness. Both depend on your thoughts, both come from inside of yourself and they often go hand in hand. For example unhappiness or depression can trigger self-esteem issues and vice versa. Neither self-esteem nor happiness depend on externals such as money, status, possessions or other people. You can be happy or have healthy self-esteem regardless of these. Self-esteem and happiness nurture each other, therefore, building self-esteem can help you to become happier.

Faking confidence when you’re not confident helps to build self-esteem. There’s a lot of truth to the saying "fake it ’til you make it." Faking confidence does not mean being a phoney, being overly confident or being arrogant. However, it does mean learning to be confident in a healthy way. By faking confidence you can learn how to become more confident and also build self-esteem. 

You can use journal prompts to improve self-esteem and get to know yourself on a deeper level. When you journal, you tap into different states of mind that help you become clearer about your desires and the person you want to become. The more often you journal to improve self-esteem, the better your relationship with yourself will be. 

It's important to keep calm when others put you down and that means staying level headed and reacting in a healthy way. Being put down by others can trigger self-esteem issues and cause emotional distress, if you allow it. The reality is that there will be people who put you down. Most people experience put downs at some point; and these can come from anyone including family members, peers, bullies or even strangers. The good news is that you can learn to keep calm and cope better when others put you down.