At one time or another many of our children experience anxiety, worry, fear, and/or nervousness. As parents we lament our children's suffering as it is our job to try to protect them. So when our children have anxiety-which is suffering-we panic. This, of course, is the worst thing to do. We are teaching them that their fear is something to fear.
We must keep in mind that it is not fear that is the problem. Fear is biological and can be appropriate. (This fear can pass quickly.) When children experience anxiety, it is the fear of the fear that is the problem. In other words- it is the meaning we make around the fear that matter most to our mental state.
Anxiety-Schmanxiety
Anxiety has many tricks and tactics it relies on to confuses us into submission. It always gives me a run for my money. When I have conquered one tactic, it tries something new, always keeping me confused so I am not sure which way is up. Anxiety can be very convincing! In the heat of the moment, it leaves me wondering which thoughts in my head are my skills and knowledges and which are lies Anxiety tells me to get me under its spell. Has this ever happened to you?
Why Should You Let Go of Anxiety?
1. Anxiety has taken up too much of your life.
Anxiety takes loads of energy to sustain. It sucks that energy from you. So if Anxiety is around, you have much less energy for other important things in your life. There is nothing good about this waste. Life is precious, every moment is precious. (i.e., Loving and connecting with people trumps isolation to "protect yourself" from losing a loved one. Taking a risk beats forgoing great opportunities. Reaching out is more gratifying than letting words go unspoken.) Enough is enough! Live free from fear!
The feeling of an oncoming panic attack is like a wave; managing the panic attack seems hopeless. It begins by lapping at your feet, or at the outermost portions of your brain. Oh no, what if I get anxious right now.
Oh no, I don't want to feel this way! Oh no!
Guilt can mobilize or motivate. Which would you prefer? Guilt is an all too common trigger for anxiety. This video covers what to do about it.
Guilt Can Immobilize
Guilt keeps us stuck when we feel like we are unforgivable. It is so definite, there is no room for anything else. Why try anything or attempt to see yourself another way? You are unforgivable. This thought pattern not only keeps you from healing, it also prevents you from contributing to anyone around you. It can make you anxious, avoid activities and people, and let go of dreams and relationships.
Anxiety affects so many areas of our lives, mostly because it negatively affects decision-making. When you think about it, your ability to make a decision, any decision, affects everything you do. Anxiety infuses confusion into our decision-making, and that makes all areas of life more difficult (Anxiety and Over-Thinking Everything).
Fear of losing someone you love is a common fear. (Or something happening to someone you love.) These fears comes from a great love. The fear is love. But once you realize the love, and take action on that, there is no point to the fear. Fear is immobilizing, love is energizing.
Remember, the biological reason for fear is to get us to act, after the action, the fear is pointless. (Worse than pointless, as it hurts you.)
Today I am answering readers questions about panic attacks. Here is everything you need to remember about panic attacks.
1. Panic attacks are an experience. They feel awful, but physically you are OK. You are not dying.
This comment came from a reader, Nikky44 who lived through the Lebanese war. I had an explanation that I thought I'd share with all of you.
I was discussing this morning with my sister some events of the past. We both noticed having the same memories of the same events, but the parts each one of us remembered is different, opposite. If we think for example of the day of an explosion, she would remember how we escaped, and all the positive side of it, I would remember the fear, the destruction, the death. I don’t know how to explain that now.
I was afraid of the dark when I was little, and when I am vulnerable, I still feel the same way. Light gives me the sense that there is hope. It connects me to reality when I feel out of control. Because I can see. And seeing is power.