It is like me asking you if you are human in the Western world today. Yes! Much of our anxiety comes from comparing ourselves to others. We think that we are not smart enough, skilled enough, cool enough. Not enough, not enough, not enough! And if we are not enough, then maybe we can't manage things, or have people stay with us. This can shoot anxiety through the roof! Watch this video to see why we do this and what to do about it!

When our children are anxious, hurt or upset, it pierces our soul. Our love for them is so great, we are effected even more than if it was happening to us. So that leaves us to wonder how we can best respond to lessen their pain and decrease their fear.

Driven yourself nuts lately? What drives me the most nuts is when something happens that bugs me. I feel sad, scared, or worse, angry. Then, I judge myself: That was stupid. It is not as good as I wanted. It's my fault. No it is theirs.

When you have anxiety, having control can be very important to you. You either feel like you have it or you don't. And when you don't, it feels very scary so you do whatever you have to do to get it back.  Avoid, scream, clean, freeze, isolate, carry out a pattern, research, or control someone else, for example. Feeling Loss of Control Provokes Anxiety

Both of my kids get nervous. Yet all too often, they don't use nervous-describing words to state that they are nervous. Instead, they say, "I don't want to." And when asked why, they say, "I just don't want to."  No reason. Or else they say "I can't." And then, deparately try to convince me that they can't. When they say, "I don't want to" do a chore, I get that there is a reason. I can agree. I don't like doing chores either. But when they say, "I just don't want to" go to a party when I know they always enjoy themselves at parties, this "I don't want to" is a telltale sign that they are nervous.

Do you want a quick way to take anxiety down a notch? Would you like to undermine the power anxiety has over you by sweeping its feet out from under it? When I feel it intensely, I certainly would! You can take anxiety down a notch before it undermines you!

In this crazy world of ours, there is rarely a break from news stories of tragedy. How can we watch the horrid news reports, complete with video of the terror and, as a human, not be affected? And more importantly, given that we feel deeply and intensely, how can we keep calm in the face of these tragedies? There are tragedies happening all over the world all the time. Most of them we don't hear about or do hear about and don't think of too much. Bombings like the ones in Boston are common place in many parts of the world. When we know about it, our hearts go out to the people involved. When it is closer to us, either geographically or we have some connection to the people involved or the place involved, we may feel the sadness deeper.

What do hospital anxiety, surgery fear and fear of medicine have in common? They are all extremely common things that people get anxious about. In fact, some people become so anxious, these normal fears turn into phobias. Nosocomephobia is the name of the phobia relating to the fear of hospitals. Tomophobia is a fear of surgery or surgical operations. Pharmacophobia is a fear of medicine. Millions of people have hospital anxiety, fear of surgery, and are afraid to take medicine. Even if the medication is for anxiety, some people claim they are too anxious to take it! (I, too, felt this way when I was anxious.) But what causes these fears and what can you do about them?

Last week, I was interviewed on the news. This is beyond anything I usually do. As a counselor, I usually sit in a room with one or two people. Listening is much more important than talking in that context, so I am not very experienced at sounding poised. I don't think ideas come out of my mouth as smoothly as someone who teaches or speaks regularly. So this was daunting. I just pictured myself "um"ing and "uh"ing, forgetting what I am saying. I was scared. This was way out of my comfort zone. So why didn't I just avoid it?

Sometimes people can feel lonely in a crowded room and others can feel totally comfortable home alone all day. Being alone is not inherently an issue. Many ancient sages or meditation masters can be alone and content. But this might be after they have gone beyond individual ego, and no longer feel separation from Oneness of the universe. But for most of us humans, biologically and emotionally, we are social beings. We live in a communities because we need to. We can't do everything alone. We need help. Collaboration is our biggest survival skill. Our species would die off without it. It's natural to feel loneliness when you feel apart from your community (Loneliness and What To Do About Loneliness).