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I have bad dreams pretty much every night. They take place in different locations, with different people, but the nightmare is always the same. I am desperately trying to get people from my past to accept and love me. Despite my best attempts, I am always rejected. Everyone always hates me and I feel completely worthless and unworthy to be around anyone. When I wake up, I feel sad and depressed. Not my favorite way to start the day.
When everyday my ToDo list is filled with ToDidn’ts, here’s how I keep my spirits up.
I hope my bipolar can get better; I dream to be free of bipolar disorder. Oxford dictionary defines hope as an expectation and a desire combined. It's synonyms are wish, ambition and dream. I dream of sunshine, freshly mowed grass and the absence of bipolar disorder. Can my dream become a reality? Can my bipolar get better? How can I accomplish this?
There you are knee deep in errands and you suddenly remember what it is you forgot to do last night before you went to bed. Quick! Write it down before you forget! Until I learned to do this simple act, many wonderful ideas were lost to the ether—never to be thought again. A reader suggests one way to prevent that from happening.
I thought I would discuss what I use as my favorite tools and resources for learning about and dealing with my anxiety and phobias.
Reading Material- The biggest help that I have gotten has been from the book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook Fourth Edition by Edmund J. Bourne. The guidance in this book touches on everything that I can think of on how to manage your anxiety and phobias. I highly recommend trying to find this book at your local library. I was hopeless and this book gave me the motivation to take control of my life again. Main things that helped me were learning about Self Talk, Positive Affirmations and Mistaken Beliefs.
Amanda_HP
I first noticed depression symptoms in the spring of 1990. At the time, I was a part-time college professor, with three healthy children, a loving husband, a beautiful home, and money in the bank when clinical depression (aka major depression) grabbed me and brought me to my knees. When I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression, I asked how can I be depressed? We knew about situational depression, but very little about clinical depression.
Amanda_HP
Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) is a treatment for depression and other psychiatric disorders. One source of information for this essay is the article in Psychiatric Services in the September 2001 issue, entitled “Electroconvulsive Therapy.” ECT treatment is administered by trained professionals in a medical setting. Usually a psychiatrist and an anesthesiologist are present.
While I am not a provider of ECT, I have referred patients with depression for this treatment. I refer patients for ECT when other types of treatment have been ineffective in treating a mood disorder. This is a particularly attractive option in persons with severe, recurrent depression who are at risk for suicide.
What do you say to taking chances? Starting fresh. Being you, but better. Would you take a chance to live the life you've always dreamed of? Would you do anything to trash your bipolar life and evolve into an improved you? Jump off the edge even if you're afraid. You're worth it.
We live in scary times. Between the recession and natural disasters, you never know when a crisis could hit your home. Many people are one pay check away from losing everything. We live in scary, stressful times. It makes sense that now is the time to plan and prepare for what may lie ahead. We can't predict the future, but we can do our best to prepare for it. And if we are prepared, we won't have as much fear.
How do you prevent yourself from leaving things behind all the time? Let me introduce to you my patent-pending ADHD Fuddy Duddy System™!
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...