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Addiction comes in many forms. Often when we think of this disorder we think of its impact on the individual. There are many harmful effects associated with addiction: poor health, legal consequences, and psychological problems to name but a few. For most individuals who are in active addiction their lives are ruled by the relentless desire to get more of the substance despite how bad things become. But addiction goes far beyond the problems associated with the individual addict.
Mental illness and rage often go hand in hand---primarily when the illness is not yet treated. Rage is scary and stems from irritability and anger. It represents, and feels like, complete loss of control. What is rage and how can we confront it when living with mental illness?
Wow - I wish I knew how to do that, don't you!?!?! No, seriously, I'm not very good at consistently getting my hyper brain under control, but I have a few strategies that have worked in the past. My Adult ADHD brain is a monster sometimes and it needs to be fed a weasel or two to be satisfied. Bear in mind, the weasel is a vegan mock-weasel.
How My Mental Health Problems Manifest as Fear
I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2002 at the tender age of 19. Since then, my diagnosis has changed to bipolar disorder and a typical day for me is rarely free of some type of anxiety or depression. In the beginning, a number of fears came over me ranging from a fear of social situations to fear of failure and an overall fear that I would live the rest of my life fighting an endless battle trying simply to enjoy all of the wonderful things life has to offer. At the end of the day, I am strong – but so is my disorder.
So, maybe I was wrong. Sometimes you just don't know.
Yesterday Ben seemed a little bit off. We know the signs. He tries too hard to be "sociable"...like asking "how was your day?" three times in the space of ten minutes. His smile seems too forced, his attention to some tasks too focused. He seems to be mumbling under his breath to - to whom? When I ask, he tells me he's just thinking about a song.
Insert sigh here. What might come next? And what can I do?
Meds, or Mood?
In the past, moods like this were usually precursors to worsening symptoms, and a sign that Ben was off his medications. But now...now we ourselves supervise the twice-daily regime, and Ben has been remarkably relapse-free for over 18 months.
Still - something's up. Something is not right. But what? And why?
When you live with a mental illness you understand depression. You know how much depression hurts, the damage it can cause, and the fear that results from it. But it can be hard to distinguish a state of sadness from that of depression. And it be scary not knowing if you may be experiencing a depression relapse or, with any luck, just feeling plain sad.
Today I tuned into a webcast on managing bipolar depression. I wasn’t sure what to expect although I was aware the webcast was designed for doctors so I knew the level of discourse would be high.
And I must say it was a great hour. Granted, I knew the vast majority of what was being presented but the nuggets of new items here and there definitely made it worthwhile.
What’s more is that this view on managing bipolar depression is evidence-based and they present the numbers behind what’s recommended. They make clear which studies are drug company-funded and which are not. It’s the kind of information that I wish every doctor knew.
And, if you have bipolar, especially bipolar depression, it’s the kind of information you should know too.
Navigating changes in a relationship where one member has Adult ADHD can be tough. In part one of this series, my wife and I discussed how a solution called previewing helped me handle change. Here, we talk about how we've managed to ameliorate my grumpiness when it comes to unexpected change and planning for it. Please pardon my wife's cuteness and do not let it distract from the possibly important message.
One thing I didn’t address in my last post about what you can learn from eating disorder relapse was coping skills. Honestly, I started to, but coping skills really deserve a post all their own. When I was crafting my eating disorder recovery plan last summer, I had literally a two-page list of coping skills to use when I felt like I wanted to use eating disorder or self-harm urges. Awesome, right?
Well, sort of. Having a two or three or ten page list of coping skills isn’t going to do anything for your eating disorder recovery unless you’re actually using them.
Happiness is not a pursuit or a journey, but rather increasing positive feelings in the moment. Learn how be happier, improve self-esteem and happiness in your everyday life.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...