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There are advantages and disadvantages about living openly with mental illness. The disadvantages are usually steeped in stigma, which perpetuates in part because people are afraid to be open about mental illness. Out of all the false assumptions that exist, there are probably three that cost us dearly: the belief that we should be treated like children, the belief we don't know what's happening to us, and the belief that we aren't reliable.
At times, I don't feel comfortable around food, even in ED recovery. Some people seem surprised when I mention that, at times, I'm a bit uneasy about sharing a meal with others, or eating in public. "But aren't you doing well?" Yes, I'm doing well, thank you, but . . . ! Even in ED recovery maintenance, eating can potentially be stressful. I'd like to share some tips with you on how I get through it. And you can get more comfortable around food because as I've said many times, no matter where you're at in your eating disorder recovery, you are a stronger person than you think.
As Bob approaches his teen years (only one more month to go), I’m reminded of how important conversations will be, now more than ever. Words are powerful. Not only do they have the potential to build up; they also have the potential to hurt. With Bob, I’ve tried to use words that are loving, helpful and kind. But, I’m reminded of how hurtful words can be especially when I think of my own childhood and teen years.
Sometimes, the only way I get a sense of what my son, Ben, goes through as he hears voices and tries to process them is through his poetry and prose:
I feel like everybody is piecing together this huge puzzle and I was born with it already solved. I guess that’s a post-life thing. But with me it’s always been about diving deeper. Delving and diving in gray water depths instead of trying to pull that water up to your level where its shade is altered. Its as a different sun shine in your in your world a mirror of a sort that you struggle to see for in refusing to see yourself in disacceptance you are condemned to see it everywhere you go on everyone else’s face….wow I am really showing myself now the strange level these “normal” people live on….hard it be to shatter these dreams of them so solidified by causality taken as righteousness. And the illusion of consciousness. - Ben, 2002
But today I got a different perspective, thanks to my guest blogger, Katherine Walters, who, like Ben, has schizophrenia - but with more insight into it.
I know you have all been wating with bated breath for this follow-up post to last week's discussion about relaxing and Adult ADHD. Let's have a quick refresher of the definition of "relax" we are using:
make or become less tense or anxious;
rest or engage in an enjoyable activity so as to become less tired or anxious;
cause (a limb or muscle) to become less rigid; and,
straighten or partially uncurl (hair) using a chemical product
We agreed (at least in my head) not to tackle the fourth, so let's go ahead and dive into numbers two and three!
I have had one hell of a week. It has been a week of emotional lows with very few highs. It has been a week where I have had to use all of my coping with depression skills.
I’ve never been one to watch movies on a daily basis. Sure, I like movies, but I’d rather watch Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother re-runs. Hell, I don’t even own a DVD player. However, I do appreciate good movies and the work that goes into making films.
Sadly, I only knew Philip Seymour Hoffman as Plutarch Heavensbee from The Hunger Games trilogy. I know he played numerous other roles and was an Oscar winning actor. However, after he lost his battle to drug addiction, it got me thinking about self-harm and how big of an addiction it is as well.
Yes, I believe self-harm is an addiction.
Pay attention so you can hear. Some would say it is an art as much as it is a science. Merriam-Webster defines listen as such: To pay attention to someone or something in order to hear what is being said, sung, played, etc. If you took time to listen to your body, your mind would trigger you to make better choices.
Body listens to mind; mind listens to body. Awareness is the link. Make no mistake: Every cell knows when you are unhappy, anxious or stressed. A cell's awareness is expressed in chemical reactions instead of words. No matter. The message comes through loud and clear~ Deepak Chopra, M.D.
It happened again the other night. A person that I largely respect asked me about my Mental Health Awareness ribbon. Happy to have an opportunity to discuss mental health, I explained that the lime green ribbon represents bringing mental health into the limelight. This person retorted:
"There are so many crazies."
"Why talk about it? Lock them up and end the threat to society."
In a lot of ways, the eating disorders section of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders improved drastically in the 2013 edition (the DSM-5). Binge eating was given its own diagnosis, finally allowing millions of Americans to hear the "me too" of not being alone in their struggle. People were finally able to see that they were sick (and stop shaming themselves), which is a huge step in the road to healing. Unfortunately, I can't consider all of the changes in this most recent edit as progress.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...