Blogs
For the past few posts I’ve been talking about the symptom clusters of combat posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Today I will talk about the final category of PTSD symptoms: hyperarousal.
If there’s one thing that affects my bipolar moods above all else it is sleep. I consider getting the right amount of sleep to be critical in maintaining or achieving wellness. It’s also critical that this sleep happen at exactly the same time every night.
In short, being a control freak about sleep is a good thing.
I've written about my abuse at the hands of the Antioch movement and my escape. It took a long time before I could attend church again, and the abuse did much to exacerbate my symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD). I had to find what the Bible calls "beauty for ashes." I had to find peace amidst the pain.
In my last post about being 24 and having an eating disorder, I looked back on my years in graduate school where I felt very lonely, even though I was often surrounded by many of my peers. Over time, and shortly after I started to get some help to manage my anxiety about food and body image, I had to understand why I had a tendency to engage in self-harm by binging and purging when I found myself in stressful situations.
I thought I'd share some simple ways which might help you gain some understanding of your eating disorder, though by no means do I claim that this might be the right way for you to go about your recovery process. This is simply me sharing my experience with you,and I do invite you to reach out to an eating disorder professional for support in your journey to recovery.
When someone has a bad hair day (as cliché as it sounds), they tend to go for the same hat or hairstyle to find a sense of comfort. Even when finding a seat in classroom or a stall in a bathroom, people tend choose what they are comfortable with and those decisions become almost habitual. The same goes for self-harmers when they feel triggered to hurt their bodies – they make choices based on what they know best.
This also goes hand-in-hand with what is used to cover up self-harm scars. Those who feel the need to cover up self-injury marks typically go for the same kind of solution – bracelets, make-up, long sleeves, etc. Everyone makes certain decisions to protect themselves from feeling a certain way or turning to certain behaviors.
The cycle of violence and abuse typically consists of three phases: tension-building, abuse, and honeymoon. The first two phases describe themselves and the honeymoon phase occurs after the abuse and gives the abuser a chance to beg the victim's forgiveness or otherwise convince the victim to stay. Over time, the tension-building and honeymoon phases tends to shorten or disappear, leaving us to wonder why abusive relationships can last so long. This routine makes staying in an abusive relationship manageable; both victim and abuser come to accept this routine as normal.
The most recent Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published in 2013, changed the criteria for evaluating substance abuse problems and problems involving compulsive behavior, such as gambling. The DSM-5 includes the word "addiction" for the first time, in reference to pathological gambling, which the manual lists as a "behavioral addiction."
Sometimes it is hard to just sit and focus on the present. We are followed by past memories and are always jumping forward before we even have time to take a breath in the present. It is important to look to the future and learn from past mistakes and triumphs. However, it is also important to absorb the world you are surrounded by now.
![Learn ways to say NO and not feel guilty. Build self-esteem and maintain self-respect with these 29 ways to say no. Take a look.](/sites/default/files/styles/blog_listing/public/uploads/2014/09/say-no-to-others.jpg?itok=UcetglEo "29 Ways to Say "No" and Keep Your Self-Respect")
Learn how to say no and not feel guilty. Build self-esteem and maintain self-respect with these ideas.
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best. ~ Epictetus
Motivation
What causes you to take action? Do you have goals, whether it’s getting up early or exercising daily? Do you find yourself thinking negative thoughts? Are you doing what brings you joy and happiness?
Motivation is the it I’m referring to. Motivation is simply your eagerness or desire to do something. Honestly, some days I don’t feel like springing out of bed to seize the day. Some days, I’m not fired up to take the hill of goals I or someone else set for me. Nor am I always inspired to take part in the political Merengue that permeates corporate culture. Though, on the other hand, I am not interested in lounging around the house or willing to spend the day as the song lyrics of Otis Redding goes:
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...