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I experience social life problems as a man in my 30s. It is hard to create a meaningful social life as an adult under the best of circumstances. It was different as a child or in college, when one was already surrounded by numerous peers, all searching for similar things. At this point in life, meeting new people is hard. For me, as a 30-something single man, it is especially difficult to meet people at the same point in their journeys as I am. Here are some of my social life problems and what I'm doing about them.
Social anxiety can feel torturous, and to deal with it, many people use safety behaviors. Safety behaviors are specific things someone does, usually knowingly but sometimes subconsciously, to cope with anxiety. Safety behaviors can be a part of many disorders; however, they're most commonly associated with social anxiety disorder. The issue, when it comes to social anxiety and safety behaviors, is whether these behaviors are helpful or harmful. 
It's appropriate to focus on the importance of routine self-care in our depression recovery since International Self-Care Day was this past Tuesday, July 24. This kind of self-care includes daily tasks that are important for our health and hygiene, but we often find these seemingly basic activities overwhelming with depression. What are some of these routine tasks? Why are they an integral part of coping with depression and how can we find the motivation to complete these routine self-care tasks?
The fear of weight restoration is one of the most frightening and challenging mental blocks to conquer in eating disorder (ED) recovery. When you are malnourished from starvation or binging and purging, the first step toward physical healing is to stabilize your weight in a healthier range. This can also be the scariest part of the whole eating disorder recovery process because gaining weight means surrendering that intense and desperate need for control. It means rejecting the illusion that being the "skinniest person in a room" equals success, worth or beauty. It means being forced to accept that you're more than a body, and you are lovable no matter what the scale reads. Without the buffer of weight manipulation to cower behind, you feel exposed in a way that is often uncomfortable and unfamiliar. But shedding this layer of defense is not just a life-saver—it's a turning point to freedom. Here are some practical interventions for conquering the fear of weight restoration in ED recovery.    
Knowing how to make moving less stressful can make the difference between a touch of anxiety and an overwhelming amount of anxiety. Moving is a logistical nightmare. Finding a new place, getting all your stuff packed, hauling it out to your moving van –- it’s enough to drive any person to the brink of insanity. But for those of us with anxiety, it can be a seemingly impossible task.
Alcohol and low self-esteem connect intimately with one another because when you have low self-esteem, you may try to find ways in order to mask the problem. There are many things that can give you a temporary boost in confidence, including material possessions, status, money, sex, a new relationship, travel, drugs, and alcohol. However, these really only offer you a temporary and superficial form of positive self-regard. None of them can help you address the cause of your low self-esteem. Since drinking is so prevalent and ingrained in people’s lives, I'd like to address alcohol and low self-esteem today. Of course, not everyone drinks regularly because of low self-esteem issues. But if your image of yourself sober is starkly negative, whereas you only feel confident when drunk, then this may be a counter-productive habit.
Do we owe our self-harm stories to anyone? I ask because if you are a person who suffers or has suffered from mental health issues of any kind, mental health awareness is a tricky landscape to navigate, especially nowadays. Now, possibly to a greater extent than ever, there are conversations taking place on a national level about mental health research, the benefits and pitfalls of psychiatric medication, whether there exists a link between unchecked mental health problems and violence, the relationship between the rise in ailing mental health and the rise of unfettered capitalism, and so on. With these mental health topics at the forefront, people become aware of self-harm, too. But do we owe the telling of our self-harm stories to anyone for any reason?
I want to share five things I do when I want to get out of a funk. By funk I don’t mean serious depression; I mean a really bad day, recent setback, or maybe even the monotonous routine of everyday life. It’s important to take care of yourself and feel good, especially in mental illness recovery. Here are simple things I do to cheer up and feel refreshed when I need to get out of a funk.
People with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) tend to struggle with transitions from one situation to another or one activity to another. Whether you have ADHD or not, even good change creates stress. Change is the definition of moving out of one’s comfort zone and it takes a lot of energy to react to the unknown. For people with ADHD, that discomfort is magnified. ADHD makes transitions much more challenging for people.

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Comments

Elizabeth Caudy
Hi, boo-- Thanks for your comment. I am 100% certain I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I've been diagnosed with this for decades. Also, you're right, gaining weight isn't the end of the world, and I work very hard to unlearn my fat phobia. Being a feminist helps with that. Lastly, I am not ableist. Elizabeth.
Pam
Thank you for this. If it helps my daughter I feel blessed. Thank you for sharing your emotions thru poetry.
Mike
Our daughter is 34 and about 1 year ago, something triggered her schizophrenia. She has withdrawn from everyone in her family and most of the world. She has blocked anyone on her phone that she thinks is a threat. Now; not paying her rent or bills and has shut out the landlord who is a friend and wants to help but with no luck. Now they have no choice put to evict her.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
Bob
I would love your advice. I had been texting someone I met on a dating app, we moved to instagram and talked all day everyday for 2 weeks, she told me about having Bipolar Disorder. When I shared some of my struggles she would reply in the sweetest, understanding ways. We had really good, deep talks and started talking about meeting up. I liked her a lot, I feel like we really connected.

On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.

A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.

A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.

I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...
boo
its because it's probably not schizoaffective or bipolar, it's likely autism and meds are making things worse bc its something to adjust to not "fix". also gaining weight isn't the end of the world, try unlearning your fat phobia and ableism.