Blogs
A popular complaint for adults with ADHD is "I just can't get my act together!" What is not commonly known is that both the underachievers and overachievers with ADHD share the same complaint. How can that be?
Everyone reading this is probably looking for a way to be cured from anxiety. I have found that when I focus on words such as "cure" and "recovery," it tends to lead to disappointments. If I am doing really well, I may feel that I am close to recovery. Then if I get hit with a setback, I am really upset because I thought I was doing better.
Instead, I focus on finding the hidden lessons within the setback and use it to move forward. My philosophy is to treat anxiety as if you may have it the rest of your life. If you do this, you can learn ways to reduce and manage the anxiety symptoms so that you can still live a happy fulfilling life.
When our family fell down what I think of as the "rabbit hole" of mental health treatment, there were two things I most wanted: information and companionship. I wanted to understand the illness and treatments, and I wanted not to feel alone.
I couldn’t get to sleep last night. My mind was too full. I’m planning to go back to school and there is so much to do. There’s the financial aspect, there’s what I’m going to do with the girls, there’s applications and FAFSA’s to fill out. My biggest worry, though, is whether or not I can do it. Am I capable enough to go back to school and be successful despite my bipolar? Is it possible to even be making these plans not knowing if my bipolar disorder is going to be under control enough to do it? I’m not getting any younger. If I want to enter the work force and become a mental health advocate, I need to do it soon or I’ll regret it.
I never thought I would become a full-time mental health activist, but during my daughter’s recovery from anorexia nervosa I was shaken by the lack of science-based information and support for caregivers of this disease. I remember, even in my despair, believing that it didn’t need to be that difficult and frightening to find good care.
I absolutely must stop people pleasing. I'm stressed right now because I am in a situation where I have to make a decision that no matter how I slice it, I am going to disappoint someone. Because much of my anxiety revolves around the fear of being judged by others, this is really be stressful and triggers much anxiety. I am what you call a people-pleaser, and I need to stop it.
ADHD type behavior has a long history of not quite fitting with the label applied to it. Now there's talk of a new label. What does it all mean?
I put my plants out on the sill to enjoy the sunshine while I haven’t glanced, but a few times, at the sunlight. I’ve lost the bounce that I had yesterday. I don’t know where it went. The Lithium has calmed down. It will probably be that way for awhile until it settles into nothingness and I’ll once again have to increase it in the dream that it will achieve bipolar stability. Oh, if it wasn’t for the damn shakes, I would be stable right now! If I increased my Geodon, I would feel as close to normal as I’ve felt since before my diagnosis. But, instead, I’m trying to slowly increase my Lithium. Please bring me bipolar stability without the shakes!
It is said by those in the know that adults with ADHD have a low tolerance for frustration leading to road-rage. That they are impatient and quickly prone to think "Oh, no! Here we go again!" Then they either withdraw, or get behind a wheel and take their anger out on the world like I used to do. I say "used to" because my mother reads this and we wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea. My daughters on the other hand . . . well, it's too late for them. My frustration and road rage is an event that just can't hide.
Over the years of struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, I have gone through many learning experiences and trials. For a long time, I tried to keep up appearances that my life was perfect and I could handle anything. In panicky situations, I would sort of lie to people by telling them I wasn’t feeling well but never really explained why. Or I would just leave. After years of “not feeling well” at family gatherings, people started coming up with their own conclusions. This only made things worse.
Where do we go from here? Most of the family thinks just to let her hit bottom and then if she reaches out to help any we can. Some want to just keep paying her bills and just let her sit in the house with no responsibilities. Never been on medication and impossible to get to her when she refuses to talk to ANYONE.
Help.
On the day we agreed to videochat to make things less awkward IRL she woke up with a migraine so we rescheduled to the day after, I made sure to assure her that it was okay and to take her time. Later that day, in the late evening we had a nice chat but suddenly she stopped replying, even though nothing had happened. The day after I texted her good morning and said I hope she was feeling a little better. she wouldn't open my texts.
A couple days after I sent her a longer text saying that even though I had only known her for a short time I care a lot for her and would like to know how she are doing, telling her I'm there for her, assuring her I'm not going anywhere even though things might not be very easy. She wouldn't open it.
A week later I sent a text saying not to feel bad about not answering and that I will be there when she is able to answer again. It's been two weeks since this and she still hasn't opened my texts. She hasn't been active at all.
I don't know what else I can do. I assumed she might have fallen into a depression. I have tried to just not think about it anymore, and I haven't that much but when I do it sort of kills me inside...