Besides stuffing your face with mashed potatoes and turkey, Thanksgiving time can be difficult for many. For some, traveling causes anxiety and since Thanksgiving is the most traveled time of the year, emotions can be at an all time high. Sometimes being around family can be nerve-racking, especially if you don’t see them that often. Many self-harmers lack confidence and have body image insecurities. Therefore, being surrounded by food may also become stressful. With Thanksgiving being over, there can’t possibly be any more stressors to deal with, right? Wrong.

Bullying leads to self-injury much of the time, and unfortunately, bullying has no age limit. During my teenage years, bullying was something that happened everyday and was talked about quite a bit. Classes talked about it and some teachers made their students do projects on the topic. However, bullying doesn’t end in high school – it continues through college and you can face workplace bullies, too.  For me, bullying and self-injury go hand-in-hand.

For all of you radio-listeners out there, you have probably heard the song “Monsters” by Rihanna and Eminem being overplayed on the radio. For many people, the popularity of a song dissolves after hearing it numerous times a day for weeks on end. However, over the last week, I haven’t been able to get enough of the song. Why, you ask? The song’s lyrics seem to be directed towards those struggling with self-harm and mental illness.

I’ll admit it – I’m obsessed with ‘The Voice’ on NBC. I don’t know if it is my music-geek background or my love for talented singers, but I’m obsessed. I’ve been a devoted fan since the first season and now, I vote weekly and download songs like a maniac. This past week, unique coach, CeeLo Green, said something that really connected to mental illness and self-harm. Yes, CeeLo can be a little out there, but if you really listen to the advice he gives to the singers, it is quite intriguing. The statement he said this week that caught my attention was this: “Pain is the common denominator that connects most people.” Any self-harmer will agree that that statement is true.

For those who self-harm, it is important to feel supported. It is important not feel alone during a time of struggle and to be surrounded by people who care and want what is best for you. Sometimes, people aren’t that lucky. Sometimes, people are pushed away or leave a friendship because they are confused about the person’s behaviors or scared for them. Sometimes, feeling alone is all people have. No matter what, there are places to go where a self-injury support system is waiting. You just have to open your eyes, take a deep breath and look for it.

When you’re feeling down in the dumps, you stop believing in yourself. You start to think that you don’t have the strength to push forward or that no one will care if you do. We’ve all been there and felt this way, but some of us have found ways to climb the ladder out of that hole. For self-harmers, it tends to be a little more difficult to step on that ladder.

When it comes to self-harming, the importance of the marks tends to overpower the importance of relationships with reality. Well, at least this rang true to me during my difficult years. I had friends in high school, however, most of them I do not talk to anymore. Those I do still talk to I hope to never push away. I will admit it now, though. I pushed most of my friends away during the years I struggled with self-harm.

All self-harmers know that they are professionals when it comes to lying about self-injury scars (Explaining Self-Injury Scars to Others). The first time I made up a story was when a student asked me about the cut on my forearm before Chorale practice. I rolled my eyes and told her a story about how I’d tried to balance my cat on my arm and it hadn’t worked out too well. After that lie had been said, I remembered how she’d been around my cats before and she may have realized they had been de-clawed.

Whether you’ve had five cups of coffee or just finished a workout, many people with mental health issues struggle with sleep. Typically, there seems to be problems at both ends of the spectrum – either you can’t fall asleep or you can’t wake up. Sleep issues can come from anything, really. Changes in medications can trigger differences in sleep patterns and lifestyle changes can also be a factor. However, if some people do not get enough sleep, negative behaviors may arise because they can’t see the world around them clearly. Some of these behaviors may result in self-harm.

I made my last, intentional self-injury cut on the night of October 14, 2008. I was sitting in the bathtub, staring down at a bobby pin and crying about the news I’d gotten that morning. The news had been devastating and to this day, still leaves me in disbelief.