Self-Harm and Advice From A Coach On 'The Voice'

I’ll admit it – I’m obsessed with ‘The Voice’ on NBC. I don’t know if it is my music-geek background or my love for talented singers, but I’m obsessed. I’ve been a devoted fan since the first season and now, I vote weekly and download songs like a maniac.

This past week, unique coach, CeeLo Green, said something that really connected to mental illness and self-harm. Yes, CeeLo can be a little out there, but if you really listen to the advice he gives to the singers, it is quite intriguing. The statement he said this week that caught my attention was this: “Pain is the common denominator that connects most people.”

Any self-harmer will agree that that statement is true.

"Pain Connects Most People"

When CeeLo said this, I immediately realized the truth in his words. Every human being suffers from some kind of pain. As a kid, you fall off of your bike and skin your knee. As a teen, your first boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you. In high school, your parents divorce. These are all examples of pain that occurs in many people’s lives.

However, self-harmers feel many different kinds of pain – emotional and physical.

The main reason behind cutting or burning or any self-injurious behavior is emotional pain. It can be any kind of pain: disease, relationships, divorce, bad grades, addiction to drugs, or death of a family member. Anything can trigger a self-harmer to turn to self-injury. From there, the behaviors become physical: cutting wrists or thighs, burning your skin, banging your head against the wall until everything turns black. These examples prove that emotional pain and physical pain are linked to self-harm.

CeeLo brought up how pain connects people. Those who self-harm may think they’re alone, but after taking the time to open their eyes, they realize they really aren’t. When I self-harmed, I barely knew anything about cutting. I kept it hidden and secret. However, after looking at those around me, I saw how many other people felt the same pain.

I was not alone in this battle against myself.

Everyone Struggles with Pain

We all stand on a platform of emotions. We all have the ability to feel happiness, anger, anxiety and pain. As we know, some people have trouble coping with these emotions, which can lead to negative behaviors. However, our emotions are what connect us to one another and are the one piece of our lives that remains stable.

When someone feels happy, you can relate to that emotion. When someone is enraged, you relate to that anger. When someone is in pain, you’ve felt that emotion too. Maybe we haven’t been in the same situation as that person, but we have felt that feeling before and must take the time to see that.

Maybe I’ve always sounded a little bit country and maybe my music of choice is a little pop and a little rock and roll, but one thing is for sure – CeeLo Green has my vote.