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Speaking Out About Self Injury

Not only did I forget to recognize The Semicolon Project on April 16, I also didn’t submit a blog on the day I was supposed to. I praise myself for being timely and recognizing days that I see as important. I typically am very organized and sometimes I become obsessed with routine. However, when I am a little off with my schedule, I tend to be filled with regret and frustration. You can’t regret something you did or should have done – we are humans and it happens. Don't let regret lead to self-harm.
Sometimes the signs we find that tell us to stop self-harming are tragic. Many people see the death of a loved one or a disease stricken friend as a symbol to move forward and away from your own demons. I am at fault because the death of my brother was what made me stop my self-injurious behaviors. His struggle was what made me realize that my cutting was not worth the physical pain he had been tortured with. He had been one of the few people I had discussed my self-harm with and knowing he had been through so much pain, not caused by himself, made me almost feel selfish. Yes, my brother’s death was the tragic sign I needed to stop cutting. But now, looking around, I see so many other symbols that could have helped me stop.
Self-Harm, Scars and Some Stars It’s been a while since I read a life-changing book. I mean, a book that keeps your mind going throughout the day and your emotions on edge. I read The Fault in Our Stars , by John Green, in less than two days and even though I’m a writer, I’m not a quick reader. The book is about two teenagers with cancer who meet at a cancer support group and, you guessed it, begin talking. It may sound cliché, but the story is one that must be read. Even though I am a cancer survivor, you don’t have to have the disease to be able to relate to the idea of pain. It may be different than self-injury pain, but it is pain all the same.
After months without a job, I have finally begun a new one that I am extremely excited about. I am working as a Family Worker helping families and children overcome their struggles with poverty and difficult home lives. This really is a dream job in my eyes. Over the last few months, I had fallen into a deep depression. This depression was something I hadn’t felt since the days I struggled with cutting. Luckily, I didn’t turn to self-harm as a coping skill, but like all recovering self-harmers, the urge was there on a daily basis.
Some may see this blog as the corniest one I have created yet. However, after finally watching the popular Disney movie, Frozen, I felt the need to put these thoughts out there for others to read and relate to. I typically analyze every movie I watch and search for hidden symbolism. I’ve done this ever since I took a scriptwriting class in college and, being a writer, I enjoy seeking out positive messages in books and in films. Even with my four-year-old nephew telling me what was going to happen seconds before something would, I realized how deep Frozen really was and how it was related to the idea of self-acceptance.
During one of my nightly adventures on Pinterest, I came across a tattoo that instantly grabbed my attention. Being a writer, and someone who has some tattoos, the semicolon on this person’s wrist made me want to seek out more information about it. As I looked further into the reason behind it, I came across the Semicolon Project that had been started in April of last year. The Semicolon Project was created for those who were going through struggles with self-harm, depression and suicide who could have stopped moving forward, but didn’t.
Recently I spoke to a few Special Education classes about my book Noon. Whenever I speak about the book and the topics within it, I always ask if the students know what the many forms of self-harm are. I hear the usual cutting and burning, but almost always I hear someone say anorexia and bulimia. Many people tend to forget that other addictions can be related to self-harm. I focus more on the emotional and physical aspects of self-harm, but eating disorders and drugs are also in the realm.
I have been in schools as a teaching assistant sub over the past couple of weeks and one thing I have noticed is the overuse of cell phones in class and in the halls. For many of you, this is common and not out of the ordinary. However, when I was in high school, cell phones had just become popular and not everyone had one. There wasn’t a need to check Facebook every two minutes and barely anyone texted. By constantly checking social media and “Snap Chatting” friends throughout the day, the possible level of stress and anxiety can rise. Why? Because by checking Facebook, Instagram and Twitter every few minutes, you could read or see something that could bring you down.
The St. Patrick’s Day hype may be coming to an end, but we all know we will still see leprechaun decorations and Shamrock Shakes for another few weeks. Soon, we will see stuffed bunnies and Reese’s eggs covering the shelves even though Easter is not just around the corner. However, as you pass those four-leaf clover t-shirts on the clearance shelves, stop for a moment and think about your life. Don’t think about the negatives; think about what you are lucky enough to have.
I tend to naturally seek out sayings or lines from books and movies that bring forward some kind of message. Sometimes the message may be scary or upsetting. However, it’s the positive messages that always bring me to a thoughtful state. When I hear or read a good quote, I try to link it to my life in some way. Sometimes, I will write a quote down in a notebook or post it on Twitter or Facebook, just so I don’t lose it. When it comes to the struggle with self-harm, positive sayings and messages can help move an unsafe mind in a safer direction. However, it is up to the person behind the scars to see the message and move forward with it.