Other mental illnesses often cling to the lives of those who self-harm. This may not be the case for all, but for many, it is a struggle that stands alongside the urge to self-injure. This tends to make it even more difficult to stop the unsafe behaviors that self-harmers come face-to-face with on a daily basis. When being attacked by depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, self-harm may seem like the only coping skill that would make the negative factors around them disappear. We know, as well as anyone else, that is not the case.

Like I’ve said in previous blogs, pets and animals truly are therapeutic. Animals can show the most genuine compassion for their owners and even towards complete strangers. For some, pets may be the only ones in their life who listen to the struggles they’re going through and even though they don’t respond, they physically are able to show they care. The presence of a pet's compassion can decrease self-harm urges. In fourth grade, I was blessed with a calico cat named Fudge. She had been the independent, somewhat shy cat out of the two my sister and I were given. However, she always slept beside me at night and made some sort of noise when someone walked into the room. During the years I struggled with self-harm and suicidal ideations, she was there to listen and for me to cry to.

We all have days where we feel a rush of emotions. When we feel frustrated, depressed or angry, we tend to take out our frustration on ourselves or on those we love. We don’t mean to become defensive or hurtful, it just happens without thought. For those who struggle with mental illness, holding back these behaviors can take time and practice and is definitely not easy. It isn’t easy to stop the urge to self-harm when triggers are coming at you from every angle. Sometimes, the negative people around you are those triggers.

We all have days when the morning alarm sounds like a million knives stabbing us in the ears. Everyone has experienced waking up in the worst of moods and not being able to kick yourself out of the funk. On these days, no matter who tries to talk you into a better state of mind or make you laugh, the gestures remain hopeless and so do you. Some people are able to find ways to turn their mind around and push on towards positivity. Other people, however, grow angry with themselves and that anger doesn’t help the already frustrating situation. When you begin your day in an unhappy mode, it takes a lot to really switch on the positivity, and for those who self-harm, the only way to switch on that happiness may be by making a self-injury mark on his or her skin.

When someone has a bad hair day (as cliché as it sounds), they tend to go for the same hat or hairstyle to find a sense of comfort. Even when finding a seat in classroom or a stall in a bathroom, people tend choose what they are comfortable with and those decisions become almost habitual. The same goes for self-harmers when they feel triggered to hurt their bodies – they make choices based on what they know best. This also goes hand-in-hand with what is used to cover up self-harm scars. Those who feel the need to cover up self-injury marks typically go for the same kind of solution – bracelets, make-up, long sleeves, etc. Everyone makes certain decisions to protect themselves from feeling a certain way or turning to certain behaviors.

Sometimes it is hard to just sit and focus on the present. We are followed by past memories and are always jumping forward before we even have time to take a breath in the present. It is important to look to the future and learn from past mistakes and triumphs. However, it is also important to absorb the world you are surrounded by now.

Everyone has a birthday. However, not everyone makes it to his or her second or 14th or 35th birthday. Since life is filled with unexplainable demons, some people are not always promised another birthday. Loved ones are diagnosed with cancer all too often and innocent people are murdered every day. Life throws challenges at us every single day. Sometimes, we have the ability to decide which path to choose and, as we know, some of us don’t always make the safest decision. Other people aren’t able to always make those choices when hit with life-threatening circumstances.

This week was filled with many memories and thoughts – some negative and some positive. Being that World Suicide Prevention Day was September 10th and the week in its entirety is National Suicide Prevention Week, many people were probably grieving lost ones and thinking about those who had been suicidal in the past. Many also grieved over lost loved ones who passed on September 11th when the towers fell. This week has been a reminder that spreading awareness about beliefs close to your heart is important and necessary. It’s necessary because by speaking your thoughts, other people who agree with those thoughts will become supportive and jump on the train. Suicide is something that not only those who self-harm may struggle with, but something that many people with mental illness too struggle with.

When someone who self-harms makes a mark, they do it for a reason unlike anyone else’s. No one person talks or sees or thinks the same and, in truth, that is quite a positive thing. However, when it comes to negative thoughts and choices, those too are specific to that person and that person alone can only change it. Every self-harm scar and mark is proof of hardship, but is also proof of survival. The scars should also tell the self-harmer that it is possible to move forward after the mark is made. Sometimes, it is important to stand back, look in the mirror and really see the scars scattered on your skin. Think about why they are there and if you could have stopped yourself from making them.

Sometimes life decides to throw curveballs that lead to anxiety. While others may see these curveballs as minor, little things can sometimes seem colossal when it comes to destroying a mood. Maybe you thought your class started at a certain time when, in fact, it started twenty minutes before. Instead of getting coffee without creamer, maybe your barista decided to sneak some in. For self-harmers, the little things in life can be what turn a safe day into a not-so-safe one. Even the most minor incident can set someone into a depressive or paranoid state. It’s easy for some people to laugh off small situations such as spilling a drink or forgetting to buy something at the grocery store. However, when you struggle with mental illness, it doesn’t take much for the brain to get fired up over those small situations.