Recently, I’ve been in a major funk. In my last blog, I brought up that I’ve been in a pretty low state and haven’t felt this way since, well, high school. It’s scary when old emotions come flooding back, especially if those emotions are negative. I’ve been feeling over-tired and unmotivated. I’d rather lie in bed all day than bring my dog for a walk or clean the apartment. However, over the past week, I have been really trying to push myself forward.

I'm under a lot of stress, but I won't turn to self-harm as an answer. No way. After five years without a cut, I will never go back. That’s the thing with being five years self-harm free: I’m so proud of my success that I don’t dare step backwards. But I need to deal with this stress and self-harm urges.

What defines you? Stop for a minute and ask yourself that question. What makes you who you are? Is it your funky personality or your genuine laugh? Is it your passion for art or athletics or academics? Is it your unique imagination? One thing is for sure, it isn’t self-harm.

The ball dropped in Times Square, champagne shot everywhere and resolutions were made. Now, the New Year has officially arrived and even though the northeast got bombarded with a blizzard, those resolutions should still be stuck in our minds. Snow can’t push away the positive choices we will make in the year ahead.

It being the end of the year, everyone makes New Year's resolutions. Typically, people want to lose weight or make more money. Maybe they hope to change their lifestyle or start a family. These are resolutions that are heard over-and-over again and sadly, after January, a lot of these New Year's resolutions are pushed aside. You know, as well as I do, that if you’re someone trying to stop your self-harm, your resolution will probably be to stop hurting yourself for good in 2014. But will you be able to do it?

Take a minute to put down the ‘Last Minute Shopping List’ and close your eyes. Try to push away the crazed voices of those around you who are probably just as busy and annoyed as you are during this time of year. Picture a moment from your past – a positive moment. Maybe this moment has a warm fireplace or a big tree or holiday music. Maybe you’re picturing a snowball fight or a night snuggled up with friends drinking hot chocolate. Feeling a little bit more relaxed? You allowed yourself to escape the stressors and believe in the good of this time of year.

It’s cold. There’s snow. Ice is covering the roads. Heat is on full blast. For those living in the snowy states, this is what you see everyday. Lately, when I wake up and look out my window, I ask myself, “Why didn’t I wake up an hour earlier to brush off my car?” Usually, because the roads aren’t plowed to perfection, my coffee gets cold by the time I get to work. These are stressors that some people experience on a daily basis in the winter. Without the correct coping skills, self-harmers may see these obstacles as reasons to hurt themselves.

This past year, I’ve spoken to numerous Syracuse high schools about my novel, Noon, and the self-injury topics discussed in the book. Like I’ve said in my past blogs, one character struggles with self-harm and suicide. A lot of my past experiences go into her scenes and, sometimes, I feel bad that I threw all of my baggage into that character’s life. However, it does work as quite the positive self-injury coping skill. Recently, I spoke to a high school about the book and realized, again, how useful it is to talk about the struggles you’ve gone through. It allows you to really open up and show your braver side. This blog was a huge step forward in my opening up about self-harm. When you have the confidence to talk about your past, it shows how much you’ve grown.

Whether it be cutting, bruising, burning, head banging or picking, one thing is for sure – pain is involved. Gross or not, some self-harmers are interested in blood and tissues and use self-injury to redirect his or her focus. Some self-harmers like the feeling it gives them because it allows their internal pain to be released. Like I’ve stated in the past, self-harm redirected me to something else to worry about – the mark, the pain, covering the cut with bracelets or make-up. No matter what the reason is behind why those who self-harm do what they do, pain is a main focus.

Life is fragile. Embrace life. Life is worth living. You may have heard those statements more than a million times and even though they sound cliché, they are very true. Every moment, someone dies. I may not know the statistics, but people die at frightening rates. Whether it is from disease, old age, an accident or suicide, every life is worth cherishing.