• Watch the video on Narcissistic Routines

I. Introduction

The dogmatic schools of psychotherapy (such as psychoanalysis, psychodynamic therapies, and behaviorism) more or less failed in ameliorating, let alone curing or healing personality disorders. Disillusioned, most therapists now adhere to one or more of three modern methods: Brief Therapies, the Common Factors approach, and Eclectic techniques.

Conventionally, brief therapies, as their name implies, are short-term but effective. They involve a few rigidly structured sessions, directed by the therapist. The patient is expected to be active and responsive. Both parties sign a therapeutic contract (or alliance) in which they define the goals of the therapy and, consequently, its themes. As opposed to earlier treatment modalities, brief therapies actually encourage anxiety because they believe that it has a catalytic and cathartic effect on the patient. 

Supporters of the Common Factors approach point out that all psychotherapies are more or less equally efficient (or rather similarly inefficient) in treating personality disorders. As Garfield noted in 1957, the first step perforce involves a voluntary action: the subject seeks help because he or she experiences intolerable discomfort, ego-dystony, dysphoria, and dysfunction. This act is the first and indispensable factor associated with all therapeutic encounters, regardless of their origins.

Another common factor is the fact that all talk therapies revolve around disclosure and confidences. The patient confesses his or her problems, burdens, worries, anxieties, fears, wishes, intrusive thoughts, compulsions, difficulties, failures, delusions, and, generally invites the therapist into the recesses of his or her innermost mental landscape.

The therapist leverages this torrent of data and elaborates on it through a series of attentive comments and probing, thought-provoking queries and insights. This pattern of give and take should, in time, yield a relationship between patient and healer, based on mutual trust and respect. To many patients this may well be the first healthy relationship they experience and a model to build on in the future.

Good therapy empowers the client and enhances her ability to properly gauge reality (her reality test). It amount to a comprehensive rethink of oneself and one's life. With perspective comes a stable sense of self-worth, well-being, and competence (self-confidence).

In 1961, a scholar, Frank made a list of the important elements in all psychotherapies regardless of their intellectual provenance and technique:

1. The therapist should be trustworthy, competent, and caring.

2. The therapist should facilitate behavioral modification in the patient by fostering hope and "stimulating emotional arousal" (as Millon puts it). In other words, the patient should be re-introduced to his repressed or stunted emotions and thereby undergo a "corrective emotional experience."

3. The therapist should help the patient develop insight about herself - a new way of looking at herself and her world and of understanding who she is.

4. All therapies must weather the inevitable crises and demoralization that accompany the process of confronting oneself and one's shortcomings. Loss of self-esteem and devastating feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, hopelessness, alienation, and even despair are an integral, productive, and important part of the sessions if handled properly and competently.

 

II. Eclectic Psychotherapy

The early days of the emerging discipline of psychology were inevitably rigidly dogmatic. Clinicians belonged to well-demarcated schools and practiced in strict accordance with canons of writings by "masters" such as Freud, or Jung, or Adler, or Skinner. Psychology was less a science than an ideology or an art form. Freud's work, for instance, though incredibly insightful, is closer to literature and cultural studies than to proper, evidence-based, medicine.

Not so nowadays. Mental health practitioners freely borrow tools and techniques from a myriad therapeutic systems. They refuse to be labeled and boxed in. The only principle that guides modern therapists is "what works" - the effectiveness of treatment modalities, not their intellectual provenance. The therapy, insists these eclecticists, should be tailored to the patient, not the other way around.

This sounds self-evident but as Lazarus pointed out in a series of articles in the 1970s, it is nothing less than revolutionary. The therapist today is free to match techniques from any number of schools to presenting problems without committing himself to the theoretical apparatus (or baggage) that is associated with them. She can use psychoanalysis or behavioral methods while rejecting Freud's ideas and Skinner's theory, for instance.

Lazarus proposed that the appraisal of the efficacy and applicability of a treatment modality should be based on six data: BASIC IB (Behavior, Affect, Sensation, Imagery, Cognition, Interpersonal Relationships, and Biology). What are the patient's dysfunctional behavior patterns? How is her sensorium? In what ways does her imagery connect with her problems, presenting symptoms, and signs? Does he suffer from cognitive deficits and distortions? What is the extent and quality of the patient's interpersonal relationships? Does the subject suffer from any medical, genetic, or neurological problems that may affect his or her conduct and functioning?

Once the answers to these questions are collated, the therapist should judge which treatment options are likely to yield the fastest and most durable outcomes, based on empirical data. As Beutler and Chalkin noted in a groundbreaking article in 1990, therapists no longer harbor delusions of omnipotence. Whether a course of therapy succeeds or not depends on numerous factors such as the therapist's and the patient's personalities and past histories and the interactions between the various techniques used.

So what's the use of theorizing in psychology? Why not simply revert to trial and error and see what works?

Beutler, a staunch supporter and promoter of eclecticism, provides the answer:

Psychological theories of personality allow us to be more selective. They provide guidelines as to which treatment modalities we should consider in any given situation and for any given patient. Without these intellectual edifices we would be lost in a sea of "everything goes". In other words, psychological theories are organizing principles. They provide the practitioner with selection rules and criteria that he or she would do well to apply if they don't want to drown in a sea of ill-delineated treatment options.

This article appears in my book, "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" 

 

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next: Changes in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) IV

Chapter 58 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works
by Adam Khan:

PAUL ROKICH IS MY HERO. When Paul was a boy growing up in Utah, he happened to live near an old copper smelter, and the sulfur dioxide that poured out of the refinery had made a desolate wasteland out of what used to be a beautiful forest.

When a young visitor one day looked at this wasteland and saw that there was nothing living there - no animals, no trees, no grass, no bushes, no birds...nothing but fourteen thousand acres of black and barren land that even smelled bad - well, this kid looked at the land and said, "This place is crummy." Paul knocked him down. He felt insulted. But he looked around him and something happened inside him. He made a decision: Paul Rokich vowed that some day he would bring back the life to this land.

Many years later Paul was in the area, and he went to the smelter office. He asked if they had any plans to bring the trees back. The answer was "No." He asked if they would let him try to bring the trees back. Again, the answer was "No." They didn't want him on their land. He realized he needed to be more knowledgeable before anyone would listen to him, so he went to college to study botany.

At the college he met a professor who was an expert in Utah's ecology. Unfortunately, this expert told Paul that the wasteland he wanted to bring back was beyond hope. He was told that his goal was foolish because even if he planted trees, and even if they grew, the wind would only blow the seeds forty feet per year, and that's all you'd get because there weren't any birds or squirrels to spread the seeds, and the seeds from those trees would need another thirty years before they started producing seeds of their own. Therefore, it would take approximately twenty thousand years to revegetate that six-square-mile piece of earth. His teachers told him it would be a waste of his life to try to do it. It just couldn't be done.

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So he tried to go on with his life. He got a job operating heavy equipment, got married, and had some kids. But his dream would not die. He kept studying up on the subject, and he kept thinking about it. And then one night he got up and took some action. He did what he could with what he had. This was an important turning point. As Samuel Johnson wrote, "It is common to overlook what is near by keeping the eye fixed on something remote. In the same manner, present opportunities are neglected and attainable good is slighted by minds busied in extensive ranges." Paul stopped busying his mind in extensive ranges and looked at what opportunities for attainable good were right in front of him. Under the cover of darkness, he sneaked out into the wasteland with a backpack full of seedlings and started planting. For seven hours he planted seedlings. He did it again a week later.

And every week, he made his secret journey into the wasteland and planted trees and shrubs and grass. But most of it died.

For fifteen years he did this. When a whole valley of his fir seedlings burned to the ground because of a careless sheep-herder, Paul broke down and wept. Then he got up and kept planting.

Freezing winds and blistering heat, landslides and floods and fires destroyed his work time and time again. But he kept planting. One night he found a highway crew had come and taken tons of dirt for a road grade, and all the plants he had painstakingly planted in that area were gone. But he just kept planting.

Week after week, year after year he kept at it, against the opinion of the authorities, against the trespassing laws, against the devastation of road crews, against the wind and rain and heat...even against plain common sense. He just kept planting.

Slowly, very slowly, things began to take root. Then gophers appeared. Then rabbits. Then porcupines.

The old copper smelter eventually gave him permission, and later, as times were changing and there was political pressure to clean up the environment, the company actually hired Paul to do what he was already doing, and they provided him with machinery and crews to work with. Progress accelerated. Now the place is fourteen thousand acres of trees and grass and bushes, rich with elk and eagles, and Paul Rokich has received almost every environmental award Utah has.

He says, "I thought that if I got this started, when I was dead and gone people would come and see it. I never thought I'd live to see it myself!" It took him until his hair turned white, but he managed to keep that impossible vow he made to himself as a child.

What was it you wanted to do that you thought was impossible? Paul's story sure gives a perspective on things, doesn't it?

The way you get something accomplished in this world is to just keep planting. Just keep working. Just keep plugging away at it one day at a time for a long time, no matter who criticizes you, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many times you fall.

Get back up again. And just keep planting. Just keep planting.

Have you been discouraged from pursuing your goal by a parent, a teacher, a well-meaning expert? Check this out:
Sometimes You Shouldn't Listen

Are you pursuing a purpose and sometimes get discouraged when you hit a setback or when it seems difficult? Here is a way to get back your spirit:
Optimism

Here's a longer, more conversational chapter on optimism from a future book:
Conversation on Optimism

If worry is a problem for you, or even if you would like to simply worry less even though you don't worry that much, you might like to read this:
The Ocelot Blues

Learn how to prevent yourself from falling into the common traps we are all prone to because of the structure of the human brain:
Thoughtical Illusions

Would you like to stand as a pillar of strength during difficult times? There is a way. It takes some discipline but it is very simple.
Pillar of Strength

next: Getting Paid to Meditate

There's an inherent value to feeling one with nature. Studies show nature is intertwined with our personal happiness and satisfaction.

An Excerpt from BirthQuake: A Journey to Wholeness

"Speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee."
-- The Bible

A tremendous amount has been written about the value of encountering nature close-up. Gallagher in The Power of Place, quoted James Swan, a Bay area psychologist who shared that his prescription for inner conflict was spending time alone with no activities or distractions in a natural setting.

Swan observes that as we spend most of our time indoors, we become estranged from "...the vast mine of meaning, art, metaphor, and teaching that we evolved in."

According to Gallagher, Americans have increased their spending by 60% from 20 years ago on outdoor activities and trips to natural settings. Everywhere are signs that we as a people long to reconnect with our natural environment. In exploring our growing attraction to nature-based activities, as well as the benefits of such endeavors, Gallagher cites a study conducted by Stephen and Rachel Kaplan. The Kaplans concluded that nature restores us by easing mental fatigue. They also observed that in engaging in the various specialized activities required by our technologically-based society, we've come to suffer more mental fatigue than did our ancestors. Listening to a rambling brook, feeling a gentle breeze ruffle one's hair, lifting one's face to the sun, following the flight of a butterfly - each of these experiences can be soothing and restorative.

Gallagher points out that Marc Fried, a psychologist, determined in his study of those elements which enhance the quality of life, that while the strongest predictor of life satisfaction was a good marriage, the immediate surroundings (the natural environment in particular) rated second. Not everyone is graced by a garden in the backyard, a beautiful view, a park across the street, etc. However, just about anyone can bring some degree of nature home by including live plants or fresh flowers in their personal domain and even workplace. I encourage the people with whom I work to do so as often as possible.

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Henry David Thoreau wrote, "Measure your health by your sympathy with morning and spring. If there is no response in you to the awakening of nature, -- if the prospect of an early morning walk does not banish sleep, if the warble of the first bluebird does not thrill you, --know that the morning and spring of your life are past."

As a little girl, I greeted the early morning sun with joy. My response to its hello was to immediately get out of bed. I didn't want to risk missing a moment of the magic that might come my way. As a child raised in the country, the outdoors offered me a world of wonder and abundance. There was sweet clover, my grandmother's raspberries and rhubarb, and the wild strawberries of late July to sample. There were the lilacs of spring, and the roses and green grass of summer to smell. There were wildflowers to pick, hills to roll down, trees to climb and to lean against. There was the rain to dance in. There were fields to lie down in and the wide and infinite blue sky to gaze up at.

Too often now, in the years far beyond my childhood, I interpret the dawn less as a greeting and more as a warning. It reminds me that I must get out of bed soon and face responsibilities. I'm sad for a moment as I recognize all that I've lost in adulthood and then I smile. There are still flowers and grass to smell, trees to climb and lean against, hills to roll down, and rain to dance in. And what's more, to accompany me, I now have my own little girl who greets the morning sun with joy.

I was born and raised in Aroostook county, Maine's largest and most northern frontier. I've complained about its isolation, its lack of opportunity, and its frigid winters. And yet I've longed for its natural beauty, its slower pace, the brilliantly lit night sky, and the fields of flowers that stretch for as far as the eye can see. I've suffered and I have healed there. I seldom found novel adventures or a variety of cultural activities, but I did find people connected to the land and to each other. Nowhere else in my travels have I encountered the sense of belonging that I left behind when I moved away. Nowhere else has my soul felt so at peace. While I've been graced by the bounty and beauty of other places; there will always be a piece of my soul which gently asks that every now and then at the very leas -- I take it home.

next:Personality and Illness

Ginkgo Biloba may improve thinking, learning, and memory in those with Alzheimer's Disease.

Ginkgo biloba

Ginkgo biloba is a member of the Ginkgoaceae family, the world's oldest living tree species. Historically, ginkgo nuts and seeds (Bai-Guo, Yin-Xing, Silver Apricot) were used to treat conditions such as cough, asthma, and increased urine frequency. Ginkgo leaf (Yin-Xing-Ye, Bai-Guo-Ye) is used to treat hypertension, hyperlipidemia, and coronary heart diseases. In Western medicine, ginkgo is receiving considerable attention for its potential role in the treatment of memory disorders and dementias, especially Alzheimer's disease. It may also be effective in peripheral vascular diseases, most notably intermittent claudication (poor circulation to the lower legs). Other uses being studied are vertigo and tinnitus. The pharmacological effects of ginkgo that may be responsible for its benefit in these disorders include antioxidant activity, inhibition of platelet aggregation and vasodilation.

Ginkgo is usually administered as the standardized extract EGb 761, which is the preparation studied in most American and European clinical trials. Use of the crude leaves or preparations containing the nuts or seeds (which may cause an allergic reaction) is not recommended.

Clinical Trials

Many clinical trials have suggested that ginkgo is beneficial in the treatment of dementia and cognitive disorders associated with aging. Unfortunately, most of these trials were small, open label, or of poor design. One double blind, placebo-controlled study of patients with mild to moderate Alzheimer's disease or multi-infarct dementia was published in 1997 in the United States.

Patients treated with ginkgo extract (EGb 761) 40 mg three times per day for 26 weeks had a small improvement in the average score on a standard cognitive test compared to patients given placebo. This improvement was less than that seen in similar studies comparing donepezil, rivastigmine, or galantamine (drugs approved for the treatment of Alzheimer's disease) to placebo. The clinicians' observations for improvement found no difference between the ginkgo and placebo groups. A recent analysis of 4 studies concluded that Alzheimer's disease patients who took ginkgo extract (120-240 mg per day) had a small but significant improvement (3%) in cognitive function at 3 and 6 months compared to those taking placebo. Long-term, well designed studies with doses greater than 120 mg per day are needed to confirm the beneficial effects of ginkgo and are currently in progress.

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Adverse Effects

Ginkgo extract appears to be very well-tolerated. Infrequent side effects include mild gastrointestinal disturbances, headache, and allergic skin reactions. Four cases of serious bleeding, including subdural hematoma, have been reported. One case suggests an interaction with warfarin (Coumadin®) and one an interaction with aspirin. In one of the few studies examining a possible ginkgo-warfarin interaction, there was found no increase in the INR (prothrombin time) when volunteers taking warfarin were given ginkgo. Considering the antiplatelet activity of ginkgo and the limited information available, patients should be advised to discuss ginkgo and warfarin therapy when used together with their physician or pharmacist.

The risks and benefits of taking ginkgo with aspirin, clopidogrel, ticlopidine or other antiplatelet agents (including fish oil and high dose vitamin E) must be weighed carefully and patients should be advised of the bleeding risk.

Resources

American Botanical Council (ABC)

6200 Manor Rd. Austin , TX78714-4345

(800) 373-7105

http://abc.herbalgram.org/site/

International Bibliographic Information on Dietary Supplements Database

Office of Dietary Supplements, National Institutes of Health

31 Center Drive , MSC 2086

Bethesda , MD 20892-2086

(301) 435-2920

http://grande.nal.usda.gov/ibids/index.php

Consumerlab.com- Independent Tests of Herbal, Vitamin, and Mineral Supplements

1 North Broadway 4th floor

White Plains , NY 10601

(914) 289-1670

http://www.consumerlab.com/

Source: Rx Consultant newsletter article: Traditional Chinese Medicine The Western Use of Chinese Herbs by Paul C. Wong, PharmD, CGP and Ron Finley, RPh

next: Ginseng for Treating Alzheimer's Disease

Articles on alternative treatments for autism covering enzyme therapy, diet, nutritional supplements, chelation therapy, interactive play, and bodywork.

• Alternative Treatments For Autism
• Enzyme Therapy for Autism
• Important Information About Herbal Treatments
• Harmful Substances in Herbal Products

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next: Alternative Treatments For Autism

These articles address the spiritual belief system (not the same as God) and its relationship to the codependent recovery process.

• Co-dependents and Twelve Step Recovery
• Truth (with a capital T) vs. Emotional Truth
• A Cosmic Perspective - the Kinder, Gentler Way
• Mystical Metaphysical Spirituality
• Spirituality for Agnostics and Atheists
• Co-Dependence: Spirituality As Relationship
• Spiritual Integration and The Co-dependent Recovery Process

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next: Co-dependents and Twelve Step Recovery

The past few weeks have been hectic for me. I had an apartment full of company for over a week, got out of my usual routine, and spent lots of time and energy in a whirlwind of activity.

Now the company is all gone. The apartment is quiet. And my life is settling back into that comfortable, safe, and even pleasantly boring, routine.

I've learned that it's OK for my life to get a little frenzied and unpredictable at times. It OK for me to be spontaneous, get out of my comfort zone, and do some new and different things. But it's also beneficial for me to have a routine, some peace and quiet, and spend quality time alone.

It's that all-important balance.

This morning I woke up about 4:30am to heavy rain, thunder, and lightning—typical pre-dawn weather for where I live. I stayed in the bed, got very still, and just listened. A wondrous clarity, calmness, and serenity filled me. I realized that a balanced mix of activity and stillness nurtures my growth as a person. Without the activity, I fail to appreciate the stillness. Without the occasional frenzy, I forget the blessings of serenity. Hours filled with people, places, and events help me to value equally the hours of silence, prayer and meditation.

Stillness brings clarity and insights, but activity helps me understand the necessity for interacting, communicating, reaching out, giving and receiving, and being emotionally present—so I can live and share the experience, strength, and hope gleaned from the solitude.

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next: Choosing to Love

Chapter 97 of Adam Khan's book Self-Help Stuff That Works

WE'RE AFRAID TO BE HONEST. I'll admit it, I am too. And we should be afraid of it. Honesty can cause conflict - uncomfortable, gut-wrenching, upsetting confrontations with people. We hate those and try to avoid them. One of the main reasons we try to avoid conflict is because we're not very good at it. And because we avoid it, we never have a chance to become good at it.

Luckily, many people have gone before you. Some of them have risked honesty and gotten good at the conflict it can create, and some of them have even written down what they've learned.

It seems that there are some basic rules you can follow, and with a little practice, you can learn to deal with conflict in a way that helps other people and yourself at the same time. Here are the two main rules to follow when you find yourself in conflict with someone:

1. Listen well. Interruptions block the flow of communication and prevent progress. Sometimes an interruption jars or upsets the speaker. Give people your attention. Let them finish. Do your best to understand what they're saying. You don't have to agree with what they're saying, but try to understand it from their point of view - try to understand why they think that way. And let them know you understand.
2. Speak only what's strictly true. This sounds a lot easier than it is. Try it. Try going a day only saying what you know is true. I'm not talking about philosophical, airy-fairy stuff, either; I don't mean getting into a debate about whether or not your chair really exists. I mean, in a practical sense, see if you can go a whole day only saying what you know is true. It's tougher than you'd think, so don't treat this one lightly. During conflict, concentrate on saying only what you know is true.

IMPOSE THESE TWO disciplines on yourself. You will be able to be more honest and you'll have more control over your life. This is no small accomplishment. Honesty sounds kind of corny, but more honesty means more freedom and more personal strength. And no lasting peace can settle in your heart without it.

Be honest. If it causes conflict, listen well and only say what is strictly true.

Self-Help Stuff That Works makes an excellent gift. You can order it now and send it to a friend.

Here's a way to keep your cool when you feel like you can't listen. It's a negative way to be positive, but when you are feeling angry or bitter or jealous or annoyed, this way is often easier than trying to muster a positive attitude directly:
Argue With Yourself And Win!

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Sometimes and for some people, physical action works better than mental action for turning a negative attitude into a positive attitude. If that's you, you're in luck! Check it out:
A Simple Way to Change How You Feel

Here's a conversation on how to change the way you interpret the events in your life so that you neither become a doormat nor get upset more than you need to:
Interpretations

The art of controlling the meanings you're making is an important skill to master. It will literally determine the quality of your life. Read more about it in:
Master the Art of Making Meaning

next: E-Squared

Instead of always pointing the finger and calling attention to the mistakes or faults of your partner, look for and focus on the good you see in them. Catch them doing something right!

Refuse to criticize, condemn or complain about your partner. Be aware of their good habits and say something to show them you notice.

If you are always looking for mistakes, you will usually find them. Instead, forgive the mistakes and move forward. If you have a tendency to put your partner down (even in jest) or invalidate their feelings, make a choice to change that behavior. 

These behaviors drive a wedge in relationships and are difficult to move past. What you think about your partner, speak about your partner, you bring about in your relationship! This is not a good path to be on. It leads the opposite way of a healthy love relationship.

What is a good alternative?

Com'-pli-ments, n. - Expressions of praise, admiration, recognition or congratulation.

Giving compliments is an excellent way of catching your partner doing something right. They develop better communication and build trust with your partner. They have several psychological effects too.

Compliments help others feel good about themselves. It causes them to feel appreciated and respected. Being appreciated brings out the best in people. It boosts self-confidence and self-worth. Partners perform better when we let them know we appreciate them. It causes shifts in attitudes about the relationship.

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men sometimes are. Giving a compliment can be very powerful when you say it directly, smoothly and sincerely. Pay attention. This helps in being timely in giving compliments. Waiting too long, lessens the affect. Point out something your partner has put a lot of effort into; something you wouldn't normally notice.

When you are the receiver of a compliment, simply say, "Thank you." It is so easy to thank your partner for a compliment, yet most of us are not very good at accepting compliments, and often answer compliments by selling ourselves short.

"Your haircut looks great."
"Oh no! My jerk barber cut it way too short! He ruined it!"

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"I love your new dress!"
"This old rag? I bought this dress on sale at Wal-Mart four years ago."

These responses say a lot about how you feel about yourself. It basically rejects the compliment by saying "I really don't deserve it." It gives the gift back to the giver. When someone compliments you, don't squirm. Look them straight in the eye, smile, and just say, "Thank you."

Sincere compliments conjure up warm and fuzzy feelings. They help your partner to know you care and that you love them. They can put your relationship on fast forward.

Whatever you choose to say, say it like that you mean it. If your voice isn't congruent with the power of your compliment, it will reek with false praise.

Genuine compliments given freely by your partner reach a special place inside of you. They are a warm reminder of how special you are.

Suggestions:

admired their unselfishness
notice a job well done
acknowledge their sensitivity
appreciate their determination
point out their willingness to help
compliment positive personal qualities or extra efforts
express thanks for their kindness or thoughtfulness
congratulate their willingness to share responsibilities
be grateful for their patience with you
if it hadn't been for you (fill in the blank)

There is a difference between compliments and flattery. When your compliments are sincere and honest they are well received. When they are not, your comments can be viewed as flattery which are untrue or come across as insincere praise.

Love partners can spot a fake compliment a mile away. Flattery is usually received with negativity and is often perceived as being manipulative. Flattery also often suggests hidden motives. They make us suspicious and we begin to wonder if the person complimenting us has an ulterior motive.

The third-party compliment is always great. It is a sincere compliment about your partner that you tell someone else. How you speak about your partner to your friends has a lot to do with how your relationship becomes.

Never miss an opportunity for a compliment to pass.

Become your sweetheart's #1 fan.

Shower the one you love with love in the form of a sincere compliment and watch your relationship blossom.

next: Relationships NEVER End!

• Watch the video on Narcissist as Leader

"(The leader's) intellectual acts are strong and independent even in isolation and his will need no reinforcement from others ... (He) loves no one but himself, or other people only insofar as they serve his needs."
Freud, Sigmund, "Group Psychology and the Analysis of the Ego"

"It was precisely that evening in Lodi that I came to believe in myself as an unusual person and became consumed with the ambition to do the great things that until then had been but a fantasy."
(Napoleon Bonaparte, "Thoughts")

"They may all e called Heroes, in as much as they have derived their purposes and their vocation not from the calm regular course of things, sanctioned by the existing order, but from a concealed fount, from that inner Spirit, still hidden beneath the surface, which impinges on the outer world as a shell and bursts it into pieces - such were Alexander, Caesar, Napoleon ... World-historical men - the Heroes of an epoch - must therefore be recognized as its clear-sighted ones: their deeds, their words are the best of their time ... Moral claims which are irrelevant must not be brought into collision with World-historical deeds ... So mighty a form must trample down many an innocent flower - crush to pieces many an object in its path."
(G.W.F. Hegel, "Lectures on the Philosophy of History")

"Such beings are incalculable, they come like fate without cause or reason, inconsiderately and without pretext. Suddenly they are here like lightning too terrible, too sudden, too compelling and too 'different' even to be hated ... What moves them is the terrible egotism of the artist of the brazen glance, who knows himself to be justified for all eternity in his 'work' as the mother is justified in her child ...

In all great deceivers a remarkable process is at work to which they owe their power. In the very act of deception with all its preparations, the dreadful voice, expression, and gestures, they are overcome by their belief in themselves; it is this belief which then speaks, so persuasively, so miracle-like, to the audience."
(Friedrich Nietzsche, "The Genealogy of Morals")

 

"He knows not how to rule a kingdom, that cannot manage a province; nor can he wield a province, that cannot order a city; nor he order a city, that knows not how to regulate a village; nor he a village, that cannot guide a family; nor can that man govern well a family that knows not how to govern himself; neither can any govern himself unless his reason be lord, will and appetite her vassals; nor can reason rule unless herself be ruled by God, and be obedient to Him."
(Hugo Grotius)

The narcissistic leader is the culmination and reification of his period, culture, and civilization. He is likely to rise to prominence in narcissistic societies.

Read more about collective narcissism HERE.

The malignant narcissist invents and then projects a false, fictitious, self for the world to fear, or to admire. He maintains a tenuous grasp on reality to start with and this is further exacerbated by the trappings of power. The narcissist's grandiose self-delusions and fantasies of omnipotence and omniscience are supported by real life authority and the narcissist's predilection to surround himself with obsequious sycophants.

The narcissist's personality is so precariously balanced that he cannot tolerate even a hint of criticism and disagreement. Most narcissists are paranoid and suffer from ideas of reference (the delusion that they are being mocked or discussed when they are not). Thus, narcissists often regard themselves as "victims of persecution".

The narcissistic leader fosters and encourages a personality cult with all the hallmarks of an institutional religion: priesthood, rites, rituals, temples, worship, catechism, mythology. The leader is this religion's ascetic saint. He monastically denies himself earthly pleasures (or so he claims) in order to be able to dedicate himself fully to his calling.

The narcissistic leader is a monstrously inverted Jesus, sacrificing his life and denying himself so that his people - or humanity at large - should benefit. By surpassing and suppressing his humanity, the narcissistic leader became a distorted version of Nietzsche's "superman".

Many narcissistic and psychopathic leaders are the hostages of self-imposed rigid ideologies. They fancy themselves Platonic "philosopher-kings". Lacking empathy, they regard their subjects as a manufacturer does his raw materials, or as the abstracted collateral damage in vast historical processes (to prepare an omelet, one must break eggs, as their favorite saying goes).

But being a-human or super-human also means being a-sexual and a-moral.

 

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In this restricted sense, narcissistic leaders are post-modernist and moral relativists. They project to the masses an androgynous figure and enhance it by engendering the adoration of nudity and all things "natural" - or by strongly repressing these feelings. But what they refer to as "nature" is not natural at all.

The narcissistic leader invariably proffers an aesthetic of decadence and evil carefully orchestrated and artificial - though it is not perceived this way by him or by his followers. Narcissistic leadership is about reproduced copies, not about originals. It is about the manipulation of symbols - not about veritable atavism or true conservatism.

In short: narcissistic leadership is about theatre, not about life. To enjoy the spectacle (and be subsumed by it), the leader demands the suspension of judgment, depersonalization, and de-realization. Catharsis is tantamount, in this narcissistic dramaturgy, to self-annulment.

Narcissism is nihilistic not only operationally, or ideologically. Its very language and narratives are nihilistic. Narcissism is conspicuous nihilism - and the cult's leader serves as a role model, annihilating the Man, only to re-appear as a pre-ordained and irresistible force of nature.

Narcissistic leadership often poses as a rebellion against the "old ways" - against the hegemonic culture, the upper classes, the established religions, the superpowers, the corrupt order. Narcissistic movements are puerile, a reaction to narcissistic injuries inflicted upon a narcissistic (and rather psychopathic) toddler nation-state, or group, or upon the leader.

Minorities or "others" - often arbitrarily selected - constitute a perfect, easily identifiable, embodiment of all that is "wrong". They are accused of being old, they are eerily disembodied, they are cosmopolitan, they are part of the establishment, they are "decadent", they are hated on religious and socio-economic grounds, or because of their race, sexual orientation, origin.

They are different, they are narcissistic (feel and act as morally superior), they are everywhere, they are defenceless, they are credulous, they are adaptable (and thus can be co-opted to collaborate in their own destruction). They are the perfect hate figure. Narcissists thrive on hatred and pathological envy.

This is precisely the source of the fascination with Hitler, diagnosed by Erich Fromm - together with Stalin - as a malignant narcissist. He was an inverted human. His unconscious was his conscious. He acted out our most repressed drives, fantasies, and wishes.

Hitler provided us with a glimpse of the horrors that lie beneath the veneer, the barbarians at our personal gates, and what it was like before we invented civilization. Hitler forced us all through a time warp and many did not emerge. He was not the devil. He was one of us. He was what Arendt aptly called the banality of evil. Just an ordinary, mentally disturbed, failure, a member of a mentally disturbed and failing nation, who lived through disturbed and failing times. He was the perfect mirror, a channel, a voice, and the very depth of our souls.

The narcissistic leader prefers the sparkle and glamour of well-orchestrated illusions to the tedium and method of real accomplishments. His reign is all smoke and mirrors, devoid of substances, consisting of mere appearances and mass delusions.

In the aftermath of his regime - the narcissistic leader having died, been deposed, or voted out of office - it all unravels. The tireless and constant prestidigitation ceases and the entire edifice crumbles. What looked like an economic miracle turns out to have been a fraud-laced bubble. Loosely-held empires disintegrate. Laboriously assembled business conglomerates go to pieces. "Earth shattering" and "revolutionary" scientific discoveries and theories are discredited. Social experiments end in mayhem.

As their end draws near, narcissistic-psychopathic leaders act out, lash out, erupt. They attack with equal virulence and ferocity compatriots, erstwhile allies, neighbors, and foreigners.

It is important to understand that the use of violence must be ego-syntonic. It must accord with the self-image of the narcissist. It must abet and sustain his grandiose fantasies and feed his sense of entitlement. It must conform with the narcissistic narrative.

All populist, charismatic leaders believe that they have a "special connection" with the "people": a relationship that is direct, almost mystical, and transcends the normal channels of communication (such as the legislature or the media). Thus, a narcissist who regards himself as the benefactor of the poor, a member of the common folk, the representative of the disenfranchised, the champion of the dispossessed against the corrupt elite, is highly unlikely to use violence at first.

The pacific mask crumbles when the narcissist has become convinced that the very people he purported to speak for, his constituency, his grassroots fans, the prime sources of his narcissistic supply - have turned against him. At first, in a desperate effort to maintain the fiction underlying his chaotic personality, the narcissist strives to explain away the sudden reversal of sentiment. "The people are being duped by (the media, big industry, the military, the elite, etc.)", "they don't really know what they are doing", "following a rude awakening, they will revert to form", etc.

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When these flimsy attempts to patch a tattered personal mythology fail - the narcissist is injured. Narcissistic injury inevitably leads to narcissistic rage and to a terrifying display of unbridled aggression. The pent-up frustration and hurt translate into devaluation. That which was previously idealized - is now discarded with contempt and hatred.

This primitive defense mechanism is called "splitting". To the narcissist, things and people are either entirely bad (evil) or entirely good. He projects onto others his own shortcomings and negative emotions, thus becoming a totally good object. A narcissistic leader is likely to justify the butchering of his own people by claiming that they intended to kill him, undo the revolution, devastate the economy, or the country, etc.

The "small people", the "rank and file", the "loyal soldiers" of the narcissist - his flock, his nation, his employees - they pay the price. The disillusionment and disenchantment are agonizing. The process of reconstruction, of rising from the ashes, of overcoming the trauma of having been deceived, exploited and manipulated - is drawn-out. It is difficult to trust again, to have faith, to love, to be led, to collaborate. Feelings of shame and guilt engulf the erstwhile followers of the narcissist. This is his sole legacy: a massive post-traumatic stress disorder.

APPENDIX: Strong Men and Political Theatres - The "Being There" Syndrome

"I came here to see a country, but what I find is a theater ... In appearances, everything happens as it does everywhere else. There is no difference except in the very foundation of things."
(de Custine, writing about Russia in the mid-19th century)

Four decades ago, the Polish-American-Jewish author, Jerzy Kosinski, wrote the book "Being There". It describes the election to the presidency of the United States of a simpleton, a gardener, whose vapid and trite pronouncements are taken to be sagacious and penetrating insights into human affairs. The "Being There Syndrome" is now manifest throughout the world: from Russia (Putin) to the United States (Obama).

Given a high enough level of frustration, triggered by recurrent, endemic, and systemic failures in all spheres of policy, even the most resilient democracy develops a predilection to "strong men", leaders whose self-confidence, sangfroid, and apparent omniscience all but "guarantee" a change of course for the better.

These are usually people with a thin resume, having accomplished little prior to their ascendance. They appear to have erupted on the scene from nowhere. They are received as providential messiahs precisely because they are unencumbered with a discernible past and, thus, are ostensibly unburdened by prior affiliations and commitments. Their only duty is to the future. They are a-historical: they have no history and they are above history.

Indeed, it is precisely this apparent lack of a biography that qualifies these leaders to represent and bring about a fantastic and grandiose future. They act as a blank screen upon which the multitudes project their own traits, wishes, personal biographies, needs, and yearnings.

The more these leaders deviate from their initial promises and the more they fail, the dearer they are to the hearts of their constituents: like them, their new-chosen leader is struggling, coping, trying, and failing and, like them, he has his shortcomings and vices. This affinity is endearing and captivating. It helps to form a shared psychosis (follies-a-plusieurs) between ruler and people and fosters the emergence of an hagiography.

The propensity to elevate narcissistic or even psychopathic personalities to power is most pronounced in countries that lack a democratic tradition (such as China, Russia, or the nations that inhabit the territories that once belonged to Byzantium or the Ottoman Empire).

Cultures and civilizations which frown upon individualism and have a collectivist tradition, prefer to install "strong collective leaderships" rather than "strong men". Yet, all these polities maintain a theatre of democracy, or a theatre of "democratically-reached consensus" (Putin calls it: "sovereign democracy"). Such charades are devoid of essence and proper function and are replete and concurrent with a personality cult or the adoration of the party in power

In most developing countries and nations in transition, "democracy" is an empty word. Granted, the hallmarks of democracy are there: candidate lists, parties, election propaganda, a plurality of media, and voting. But its quiddity is absent. The democratic principles are institutions are being consistently hollowed out and rendered mock by election fraud, exclusionary policies, cronyism, corruption, intimidation, and collusion with Western interests, both commercial and political.

The new "democracies" are thinly-disguised and criminalized plutocracies (recall the Russian oligarchs), authoritarian regimes (Central Asia and the Caucasus), or puppeteered heterarchies (Macedonia, Bosnia, and Iraq, to mention three recent examples).

The new "democracies" suffer from many of the same ills that afflict their veteran role models: murky campaign finances; venal revolving doors between state administration and private enterprise; endemic corruption, nepotism, and cronyism; self-censoring media; socially, economically, and politically excluded minorities; and so on. But while this malaise does not threaten the foundations of the United States and France - it does imperil the stability and future of the likes of Ukraine, Serbia, and Moldova, Indonesia, Mexico, and Bolivia.

Many nations have chosen prosperity over democracy. Yes, the denizens of these realms can't speak their mind or protest or criticize or even joke lest they be arrested or worse - but, in exchange for giving up these trivial freedoms, they have food on the table, they are fully employed, they receive ample health care and proper education, they save and spend to their hearts' content.

In return for all these worldly and intangible goods (popularity of the leadership which yields political stability; prosperity; security; prestige abroad; authority at home; a renewed sense of nationalism, collective and community), the citizens of these countries forgo the right to be able to criticize the regime or change it once every four years. Many insist that they have struck a good bargain - not a Faustian one.

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next: Collective Narcissism