Do You Leave a Bipolar Partner if They Refuse to Get Help?

My adult son left his live-in girlfriend because she refused to stay with her treatment for Bipolar Disorder. It's different - they weren't married, no kids - but it is still a difficult decision. He cares about her, but he couldn't tolerate the toll it was taking on him, their relationship, and her.

Since childhood I've always had the view that people shouldn't be excluded. I've always hated the bullying, the shunning of vulnerable people, even if they are difficult to like. I've always fought against it.
Now, I'm one of those people. And before I got help, I was shunned all round. My ex-friends complained how hard it was for them, and so did my employers at that time.
And I thought "Well boo-hoo, you selfish pricks." I'd been there for those people during their hard times, and I'd been an understanding and flexible employee.
And now I'm better, I refuse to associate with any of those people again.
I understand, in theory if people are overwhelmed and they need space. I understand they may be scared. I understand that some people can be incredibly destructive. It's just hard to forgive.
All round I guess, it's hard. All the more reason why we need to reduce the fear of this disorder and the fear of treatment.

How long can you support someone who won't manage themselves? If they won't make the effort themselves, they are letting everyone pay the price except them. Everyone's time of support will vary: a little, none, a lot then be exhausted. People have to protect themselves too; some have nothing of offer and some don't want to. If people will not seek treatment and will not manage it themselves, then what other people don't do is not nearly as important anyway. It's their responsibility to manage their illness.

It's such a tough question. I love my partner to bits - we are not married. But he gets it in his head that I have done this or that, and it gets very distorted in his mind and I have noticed that past situations seem to get amplified in his mind over time. He is open to getting help & I am getting training in mental health to try and understand the issues. But he threw me out of his flat at 6 in the morning today because all of a sudden he got it into his head that I had told him a lie about something, which I never said at all but there was no reasoning with him. This was even though just a couple of minutes before we were laughing together and cuddling up. Since then he has been texting me a lot of abuse, calling me a lot of horrible names like whore and slut. I know it isn't personal but it is very hard, he has pushed me away for the second time in 2 weeks. I don't know how to help him and I don't know if I can trust him either as he has hinted to me during an episode that he is looking for other women, but then he relents and gets very tearful and tells me how much he loves me and how sorry he is that I have to put up with him. I don't see it that way, I am not "putting up" with him the person, I see that it isn't him acting that way but he gets taken over by the illness. I wish I could do more to help him, it is so hard to see the person I love going through this. But I have to protect myself too, I can't stay with him I have decided, until he goes back to the doctor, and I don't mind going with him, and explaining what is going on and what is happening. And try and get him either on some medication, or get him some therapy. I don't know if our relationship will withstand all of this trauma but I do know that I am willing to stand by him if he does get some help. I can't do it all on my own, I am not a professional. My little bit of training helps, but it isn't enough.

FM, my story is exactly like yours. My bf will call me names say I've cheated, I'm a whore, I'm out tricking around, etc. it's my house so he leaves all the time. Then after a few days or a week he will text me like nothing's happened & I'm supposed to have forgotten about. & he's just like hey, what you up to? If I mention anything about how it hurt me when he did that then it's well you do this. And we have long disagreements about what was said that day him admitting nothing & never apologizing. Then on opposite times, after these episodes he texts me how sorry he is. & feels horrible for treating me like that & he truly loves me so much & he only wants to be with me. This happens all year round but the huge fights where we break up are always like around October, February & June for some reason every year & get worse & last longer each time. I've been with him for 3 1/2 years & from the beginning have told him the things he does & says aren't normal & to talk to his doctor. He's always refused or to get me back tells me he will. & will say he'll go to counseling with me but when it's time there's always an excuse not to go. This time, just last week he finally after a huge fight again finally went to the doctor and talked to him. The night before he kept saying no one else but you says that I'm like that. I told him that's because I'm the only one willing to tell him the truth. His whole immediate family is like this too so why would they notice? Any way that night he said he took an online test about Bipolar disorder & it scared him how he scored. He made the appointment the next day & is now on Lexapro 10mg. It's not been long enough for him to get it in his system yet to see if it's working. I know it's not fully because he's still having severe mood swings & always always negative thoughts about himself, his life, can't let the past go, etc then it's him telling me he loves me & only wants me & he's so happy. & I tell him right now him & I need to work on ourselves & get better so for now we need to be friends. When I say that he lashes out at me again. Then it's ok ok tell me what you want me to do. & I'll do it. All I want him to do is stay on his meds, write down his feelings & talk to his doctor. His dr isn't very informative. Tested him for thyroid disorder & that came back normal. I firmly believe he has Bipolar disorder II with hypomania. & depression. I have family with it & 1 with Schizophrenia so I do understand the signs. It's so hard to know what to do. Very difficult to deal with. Makes me sad & feel unloved by how he is at times. It's so stressful! I said I was done this time before he went to the dr. I don't know. Part of me feels bad because I know he's not well & maybe we could work if he gets his meds regulated. I feel like this is a crucial time in his recovery & now is not the time to leave right when he just accepted he needs help. I know if I left now he would quit the meds. I do love him. & want him to get better. It's just do hard. Suggestions?

I've lived with a bipolar husband for 20 years now. He's been hospitalized at least 10 times or more. He refuses to take his meds. He self medicates just about every 3-6 months now. I never know who will be my husband tomorrow. For this reason I have decided that there are 2 very important days in which we live, the day you were born and the day you find out why. And I have finally found out why i was born. And i don't think i was born to receive abuse emotionally and physically. I'm tired of feeling sorry for someone that refuses to help himself at 53 years of age. It's time to move on!

Seventeen years ago at age 27, I dated a 32 man I met in college. We had so much fun just going out to dinners
and visiting new places. I was fallen in love with him and I noticed he was too. Then I began to notice that he was angry about things he could not change and that anger, revolt was beyond his control. At one point I noticed a little road rage and felt unsafe with him in the car as passager. Days later his mother's best friend told me that he was Maniac
Depressive, that he isolated himself from his friends and family, whom he called "
animals" at that time. And the Bipolar he apparently heredited from his grandmother, who died with mental illness. We talked about it, and he said he would not take meds
Conclusion at age 51 and him 56 we are still single without children. And I have been
thinking about contacting him a give him a second chance. What chance? If he does not takes meds? But my heart is saying maybe he is better this time around, is he?
I am lonely, cause the Bipolar has stolen my love and future husband from me. It stoled a future from us. :( thanks for sharing you all. Blessings!

I have been married to someone suffering from Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety, for over 20 years. I didn't realize what we were dealing with until roughly 8 years ago. He went on and off meds, so they never really helped (when he was on a "high", he said he didn't need them and when he was on a "low", he would get very angry about having to take them.) I've tried to encourage him to eat better and exercise (I do both on a regular basis) but he will only try to change for a short time and then he gets discouraged and quits! Of course, I'm always getting the rath of his "failures" and every time he sees me continue to go to the gym, or only eat things that I know I should, he acts like I'm insulting his inability to stay on track. He gets extremely anxious around holidays and special occasions, so these times end up being very stressful for myself (and the length of time that he is like this is increasing from several days, to several weeks. I know this is the problem, because the second the event is over, he starts to calm down, every time! My children are now young adults, and each of them have handled their father in different ways. For the most part, they have dealt with him fairly well, but it is very hard for them to not take his behavior personally-as it still is for myself! They've never had a true father figure, someone they know that will love them unconditionally, and it breaks my heart to see them dealing with this realization as young adults. I've suggested that we attend counseling (we've done this before, but the psychologist wanted him to go to a psychiatrist and get his meds regulated, so he just stopped going to our sessions.) I'm currently researching therapeutic oils, to see if I can find something that will help with his anxiety...not sure if this will help, but I'm to the point now that I feel anything is worth a go...anything that will bring some peace into our lives!

RJC, Are you living my life? That is exactly what is happening in my life. I have 3 young adult children. 2 of them still live at home. My oldest son is married with 3 children and lives an hour away. The relationship between him, his wife, and my husband is very bad...to the point where they will no longer come to our house to visit. I haven't seen my grandchildren in almost 1 1/2 months. I still talk to my son on the phone, and we have Skyped with the kids, but that's the extent. He says I can come visit anytime. But how do I do that without isolating my husband. Thankfully, I have a job to go to to get away for awhile. The relationship between my other 2 sons and my husband goes back and forth. They've learned to just lay low and stay in their rooms as much as possible. I've contemplated leaving, but I love my husband, and he would have no income and nowhere to go. We are deep in the process of Disability appeals. I wish the court could see what I live with on a day-to-day basis, and award my husband his disability. At least then he wouldn't feel so worthless...or would he???

Hi everyone, I've read all of your stories and it brings me heartache. Heartache for us and for our partners that have Bipolar Disorder. I don't know what to do anymore and need advice. I started dating my bf 5 years ago and at first things were pretty good, yet he always acted like he didn't have much responsibilities and had a short fuse. At first I thought he was depressed because I met his family and understood why it may be so; they all had anger issues, isolated him from things, they'd reject decisions he made, etc. So I thought his anger outbursts and depression were due to his family, and so I wanted to take care of him and be there for him cause I always saw a lot of potential in him. However, as soon as we got engaged he acted for months like he didn't care about me, the wedding planning, or anything else except himself. He became very manipulative. He had all the symptoms of BPI disorder and then I just knew he was bipolar. I broke off the engagement because he was verbally and emotionally abusive on a weekly basis, that soon turned into a daily basis. We were on and off several times. Finally, his lack of motivation, anger, manic episodes, constant substance abuse, money problems, and constantly verbally and emotionally abusing me made me break things off for good. It has been a year and a half since we've seen each other. Just this year we met up again and we had sparks all over again. Things were good for a few months, and he said he was doing therapy for a while because he had a breakdown then told me he wasn't on meds because the doc said he didn't need them. I thought he was still receiving help, but he stopped and now we are back to the same situation of him criticizing me every time I say something that he doesn't care for, or constantly corrects me saying I use the wrong words and don't communicate the right way with him. Yet I have no trouble communicating with others in my life (whether friend or stranger). He makes me feel like I'm always wrong no matter how hard I try, and he's back to using a substance to cope that wreak havoc with his symptoms. I've told him he would benefit going back to therapy, but he makes every excuse and says it doesn't work and he doesn't have the money. Today, I tried to express to him in a calm way that I feel like there's a lot of distance between us and he started blaming me for things because he didn't want to hear it. He told me that "maybe we shouldn't be dating then." Yet he begged me for a year to take him back. I understand his moods shift rapidly, but I feel like we can't have a future if he doesn't seek help. I love him, but I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted and confused, and I don't know how to say anything to him anymore without being afraid to open my mouth or have to walk on eggshells. Any advice?

I am in the same boat as all of you. My gf and I had been separated for a week or two. After she finally reached out to me because she had a breakdown, she told me she went to therapy and what the doctor told her. I was on board wth her every step of of the way. I wasn't gonna give up on her. She recently stopped going to therapy and is refusing to take meds or going back. She knows I was willing to stand by her side no matter what. The verbal abide has gotten worse, her temper has gotten uncontrollable. Last night we had a big argument over everything. I really just want to be able to move past Everythjng start fresh. But how I can help her if she refuses to get help? My only fear is that she is gonna get worse, and it worries me.

I have read all of your stores and I'm crying this is what's going on with my fiance. We are getting married next summer and Im worried I'm making a big mistake. I love him soooooooooo much but I don't know if I'm strong enough to take all his ups and downs. He is always making everything into a fight and telling me that it's because of things I say and do. We can be out with friends laughing having the best time then we get home and hell breaks lose ( he doesnt act out infront of ppl he holds it in till we are alone) He comes up with a twisted stories of how I said something that insulted him. I can tell him over and over that it's in he mind and although it may have a hint of truth he makes up how it all played out. I just get so tired of fighting I give up and give in and the next day he acts all mad at me i have tell him im sorry a million times ( plus how much i love him cause he asks that question 50 times a day to make sure i do) so he will stop talking about how I'm the issues when I know I'm not I just want it to stop and it's making me crazy. He yells calls me names punches holes in walls throws anything (last night our coffee table because i wouldnt say he was right about something he twisted in his mind but in the end i said sorry and he has done nothing wrong again) when we are driving I have to listen to him swear at every car on the road. I feel like I'm walking on egg shells all the time. He tells me he has depression and how shitty he feels all the time and I hate it. I know the man I love is there and all I want to do is help him even after all the mean things he says and does. I know bipolar is in his family but they do not talk about it. I think they feel being moody with outburst of anger is normal and the people who see what I see are to scared to say it , I guess iam too. He also has major ups where he is God's gift to the world in every way. But if people don't agree with everything he says or someone makes a joke about what he is wearing etc he crashes. I tell him I will go with him to get help and when he is drink ( almost every night just a few he says ) he will say ok and then the next day if I bring it up he gets mad or just ignores me. This is the first time iv ever wrote anything about what's going on and it feels good but it's heartbreaking to see in words what I feel. I stay with him cause I know he loves me and we do have wonderful times too. I see him in my life and the thought of him not being in it upsets me. It Took me along time to find him and 30 sec to fall in love with him . I want him but I'm worried it's turning me into a mental mess I don't know who iam sometimes because the old me would never put up with the treatment I get sometimes. Anyway feels good to let it out. I just hope some day he will get help and we can move forward that's my dream .

Wow I just read all these accounts and I'm right where you are, especially THIS quote by Lost, above:
"He comes up with twisted stories of how I said something that insulted him. I can tell him over and over that it’s in his mind and although it may have a hint of truth he makes up how it all played out. I just get so tired of fighting I give up and give in and the next day he acts all mad at me, and i have tell him i'm sorry."
Reminds me of the first really bad time when I knew things were horribly wrong. I was lightly dancing beside him at a Boston concert and enjoying it with him, and he told me to stop. This man who had won my heart because he fearlessly enjoys himself everywhere no matter what people think. This man who always dances with me in front of a crowd. I didnt stop, I just looked at him in astonishment because he was being really weird. Well he walked off and left me. Never came back. I had to get a taxi home because I couldnt find him. After crying my eyes out, sitting in a police golf cart waiting for 2 hours, after calling him repeatedly, and he never answered. But he texted me horrible things. Like "go F yourself". And a photo of an ex-boyfriend that he found on the internet.
I cant remember crying so hard in my life. Except last night when I realized that our 9 month marriage is over. I cannot take the emotional rollercoaster anymore, because it has happened many times in many other ways since that first incident.
I did see signs when we were dating but didnt know they were signs. I just thought he had it bad in the past and with our love it was time to heal. But he demonized everyone. His family. His friends. His ex. He hated his mom. That should have caught my attention. My mother always told me to watch how a man handles or treats his mother and thats how he will treat you. I thought I was special. I am not. I am now one of the demons he hates. He now hates to engage me unless I make him the superhero of the universe. He has a very fragile ego, has huge insecurities, is easily offended... and at the same time he has very little consideration for others. He never hears others feelings, his are too big and too important. So if you tell him your dog just died right before he is going to tell his joke, he will go ahead and tell the joke no matter what you just said. He is as inappropriate a man as I have ever met and its killing relationships I've nurtured for decades. I just found out I'm going to be a grandmother and I can already guess that my son and his wife will not want the baby over here.
I recently refused to do drugs with him. Therefore I am one of the moralistic enemies in his life. I would have never put up with someone like this when I was single for 8 years. We dated to short and married too fast. I am ashamed that I have put my family through these emotions and I want out with as little damage as possible.

It sounds like some of your partners might be narcissists by the behaviors described.

Dear LOST, do not marry this man! No matter how much you love him, things will get worse! I have been married to a bipolar man for 20 years and I am miserable and so are our children. He berates us and calls us names and has these manic episodes that are awful. Just want him to get help but he won't. I'm at my wit's end. Hate to hear all these stories but glad I'm not alone.

My wife has been dealing with depression and anxiety for years now, and i have usually been able to deal with it, the out bursts, the blaming, constant fear of what is going to set her off. she has always refused she needs help of any kind, and even when i had a bout of depression and was on medication, she still says she doesnt need help she just needs to workout and that will fix it all.
The issue now is that we have a 5 month old son, and despite taking care of my son when i am home, take care of him at night, and waking up all night, cooking diner, you get the idea. Despite all of this i am told i do nothing, and im not supportive etc. When she has these bouts of rage then she cant handle taking care of our son, just sets him down, or is screaming around him.
I asked her last night again about getting help however she said again she doesn't need any.
i am not sure what to do now.

Hello.. im Isaac just turned 26 with a beautiful wife and 1 year old daughter. lady and i have been together for 4 years. Her failed perception on easy things to understand in lifedrives me insane yelling at her for thinking the way she does. I know far to well the TORTURE this insanity can have on the ( for lack of a better term " Not troubled partner" ) I find avoiding my logic is a skill she is great at.. it's her way or the highway i call it. Weight gain is the best argument she can ever come up with when i ask her to atleast try to get on a low dose of meds. Not concerned with how i feel and just wanting a mentally stable woman to come home to. I AM MARRIED TO TWO WOMEN nice and evil wife.

I've read so many of the post on so many websites over the past year/year and a half now. Usually I read them and feel hopeless w/ the bp spouse situation so I never leave or have left any comment. After the last week or so and after reading these post I decided to. Not that it will change one single thing in my 41/2yr marriage to my husband whom I believe w/ all good reason is bp and maybe a few other chemical imbalances etc. I had no idea his mother & grandmother both have bp multi personality disorder and a few other mental issues. No one felt the need in his family to tell me such important information. I knew not one single detail about bp. The symptoms. That it's highly hereditary. How a person left untreated is a ticking time bomb. No one felt the need to share that w/ me. Meanwhile I've spent these past couple of yrs researching symptoms & signs of bp. My husband is spot on w/ every single detail of symptoms. Signs started seeping out w/in the first yr of our marriage. They would be like a small awkward moment over something that wasn't even a big deal. Or he would make a tiny issue a very, very large issue. Little things here and there that I could not wrap my mind around as hard as I tried these moments just seemed nuts all the way around. At first he would apologize for the insidences. They were more happy times and less awkward times. Now, fast forward 31/2 yrs later. You never know when you're the awesome living wife or the maggot b**** that can get outta his house ASAP. It's nothing for us to be talking about summer plans or having an intimate evening then by 7:30a.m. I'm recieving a text from him telling me to get out. He wants a divorce and has from day one. How horrible of a person and wife I am. That no one loves me (even my own family) friends whomever knows me in his eyes at the time, he tells me they all hate me and think I'm trash. I have pampered and catered and waited on this man hand and foot. After I've had a 12-13hr work day (he too works long days mist days) I will come home tend to him and the kids. Cook dinner, serve dinner, clean up the kitchen, bath kids, laundry. Most evenings play out just like that while he lays on the couch telling me how worthless I am and how I do nothing and he does it all. Now, I use to cry and I couldn't wrap my mind around this man's thought process until much educating myself on the bp illness. Then it all started piecing together. One day he's madly in love w/ me and we have so much to do together because after all, we're "soul mates" the next day he wants a divorce and I need to go ASAP. Like now. The things he ask are always impossible at the moment he ask them. The highs and lows are shuffling so fast I can't come up for air. It's always out of nowhere. A coworker may have ticked him off. His boss may have chewed him out. He may just have woke up w/ something in his head that's not even reality. You don't know what "it" is but it triggers the cycle. He went from having really bad highs to very, very bad lows to a full blown rage. Bad rage. He has said the most cruel vicious malicious things to me so many times I'm sick to my gut w/ it all. Two yrs into the marriage after one night of a slight bp episode the next morning he messaged me he was sorry and needed help. That was two yrs ago. Today, he doesn't have a problem. I do. He has done nothing but all the good. All the bad is on me. He doesn't need help. I do. On and on. He's turned into a full blown Jekyll & Hyde 24/7. It's a living nightmare. My heart has been shattered over and over again. I've begged and pleaded for him to get help. I've discussed w/ him that he's not crazy and it's just a chemical imbalance that can be fixed w/ the right Drs and meds or therapy. Whatever the help.... I'm here. He has Refused over and over. He lives two separate lives and quite frankly I've come to a point that this marriage isn't safe for me and my babies. He is an unstable on all levels and I'm not sure nor do I feel safe w/ him at this time. I feel staying w/ him has just enabled him to seek help. That he feels he's got me where he wants me meanwhile the situation is worsening by the day. He brings so much turmoil around everyone we know. Friends... Family. It's so sad and I am helpless staying in the marriage. It's all his way or the highway. Walking on eggshells and being spoken poorly about to ppl you love and some you don't even know plus the abuse you take daily... Ive decided, it's not worth it any longer. My heath is depleting. I have always been a very healthy active person. He is destroying everything good about me. The kids are affected as well. I don't care how little they hear or see. Kids know. They know when they are being shut out. They don't understand that. We have to flex and bend constantly for him and his state of mind constantly. Well, I tried w/ every ounce I had in me. Over and over. Things is there are children to finish raising. Life to live. We don't know the time we have to enjoy what we can while we can. My children deserve better than a selfish adult (illness or not) that knows and admits they need help yet chose not to. I can't take it anymore. It's not a life for no one. If someone is trying to help themself, then yes! That's a plus and its trying to get better. You have a pal and a goal but w/out either there's no better to look forward to just crazy days and lonely nights. Drained of all life inside yourself. It hurts me to my core to watch this illness take over the man I love. To lose my marriage to this illness hurts my very being. That being said, it's a far greater pain to sit back and be stripped of all life inside you while you watch your love be consumed by this viscous illness. It's just not worth it another day. I hope that those of you who have a loved one seeking help, I hope you support them and let them know how proud you are of them and I hope there is someone out there who has beatin the odds w/ bp and are doing well. In your life. In your relationships. I hope you all the best. Stay strong and courageous my friends.

Reading all those comments gave me some strength somewhere.... Am not alone... My story looks like a looot of ur stories.... I've been married for 8years ago. My daughter is now 4 years old. During this marriage, my husband was diagnosed with bp. Every time he was high, he would start leaving the house and comes back very late, he would drive for hours listening to his music... And after a couple of days, he would leave the house saying we don't fit together, we r not meant to be husband and wife.... It happened more than 10times.... And when he used to come back, he wouldnt find a reason why he left... He would say he's sorry... And eveytime i used to forgive him.... Last summer, it also happened, and he asked for a divorce... It was so quick, he was putting a lot of pressure saying he wants to finish it asap! I signed and we were officially divorced... By that time, he was living in Africa and started dating his colleague, and they were living together... Before Christmas, he came back... We started seeing him with my daughter in restaurants, malls.... After a week, he called me during the night saying he wants to come back home, started crying and crying.... Begged me for forgivenss which i did.... We spent three wonderful weeks, he was caring, loving, very present.... He filled our house with love and attention.... My daughter was super happy and so am i... Until two weeks ago i felt that his mood is swinging again... We were supposed to get a new marriage by the end of this month, but he started saying out of a sudden that we dont fit together again, and when i ask him where did ur promises go, he says he was really trying but he's not happy and he does love me as a friend not as a wife... He moved out from the house again few days ago and took all his stuff with him... Am again very depressed, very confused, and dont know what to do.... Can anybody help or advise?! I really need it. Thank u

Finding this thread has been so helpful to know that I am not alone in this. I've been with my partner for almost 2 years and we've had a lot of bad episodes from his bipolar disorder. I think I can deal with the paranoia and the jealous outbursts but I can't deal with the suicidal thoughts and remarks he makes. I've coaxed him down from jumping off a huge wall where the drop would have killed him. He was on meds earlier in his life as he was diagnosed at 17. He made the decision to come off them as he didn't feel like a 'human' whilst on them. I've tried to convince him on numerous occasions to seek help and medicine but he refuses and this usually sets him off even more. I love him dearly and we have spoke about marriage and kids at some point but I have fear that I'll be trapped. Don't know what to do. I have a high pressured job where I run a business whilst studying for a health social care degree (where my grades are slipping) and I feel like my entire life is just filled with stress. There's no escape as my home life and work life are places where I am unhappy.

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, our anniversary actually only 2days ago & he's in the middle of yet another disappearing act so that was a hard day not hearing a word. We've had 2 children in this time which makes this all the more harder. There was tiny things in our first year that I can now see as bipolar behaviour but at the time didn't think anything of them. It was only after I fell pregnant with our son he really showed signs, I've read babies, work.. general life changes can trigger bipolar so this obviously did. I was suddenly getting some awful verbal abuse, caused of it probably not being his baby because I cried a few times just being hormonal for no real reason.. but according to him I was crying cos it wasn't his baby. Absolutely ridiculous comments, I'd been with him every day that we'd been together for a year so that was hurtful to say to me. Disappearing acts as he still lived at his parents.. and still does! When our son was born he was besotted with him.. back to himself. 5 months later I fell pregnant with our daughter. Disappearing act again, up and downs with Me constantly for no real reasons then all lovey Dovey. The day she was born he was different.. not as besotted as he was with our son. Went out drinking 4 nights in the first week and a whole day out with his mate. Going out drinking alot, ignoring me, don't wana be with me anymore then a week or 2 later didn't mean it and loves me. Over and over. She's one now and he STILL lives at his parents so easily disappears whole weeks at a time. I go there looking for him and his mums always saying he said I've said or done things I haven't. .and that's why he's not here. He's always blaming me for his disappearing acts and lying. He lies to me all the time, pretends he was in one night then I find out he was out. Caught him messaging 2 girls but he swore blind he never... even though I'd seen the messages myself! Looks up girls and exs on facebook when he goes funny on me ignoring me. He's quit 4 jobs in the time I've been with him.. just cos he's fed up with them..even though 2 weeks before he'll be saying how good the job is! He keeps buying new cars then wanting to sell it and buy another the next year! His mates take drugs and I know he has with them which seems to make him worse. . But he won't acknowledge it when I say it. Every may are the worst times so I believe he has seasonal bipolar. He laughs when I say it and tells me it's me who has bipolar! He's told me once he heard voices.. twice got so depressed he's said he didn't wana be here anymore.. and hearing that killed me. He's told me there's millions much more fitter girls than me & no one else will want me.. I'm crazy. Any abuse he can give me basically, then he'll say he doesn't mean it. It's so up and down its mentally draining.. I also have a 10 year old daughter from before him, I'm worried she'll think it's normal for a man to disappear for weeks at a time! My 2 year old loves his dad he talks about him all day everyday..so it breaks my heart when he disappears like this and my son wants him. This is the worst it's been though, over 4 weeks now. He's only been here 4 times in that time, ignoring me, wont say why he's doing it.. going out with his mates drinking and left his job AGAIN 2 weeks ago and his mums told me he's been sleeping till round 2 PM everyday. It's so hard on me I feel like a single parent to three kids & so lonely and unloved by the person I love so much I can't just leave him. He did once say he will go doctors about this..then the next morning made an argument over nothing and left to avoid it. Since then he won't listen if I bring up bipolar and I'm at a loss. When he's not manic or depressed I'm so happy. . We are a proper family.. then bam out the blue back to him being nasty to me.. disappearing.. quiting jobs.. wreck less behaviour.. always skint cos he blows his money. What can you do when they won't get help.. but you can't give up on the person you love? He swears at every other driver. . Acuses me of being a cheat and I'm with my kids 24/7 and don't even go out so it's absurd! Easily angered when he's like this.. he even hates me when he's like this.. actually hates me. Lies about me to his family and friends.. so many other symptoms I am 100% sure he has bipolar.. which can mean my kids could have it so even more reason I nee d him to go doctors so we know what's the chances. I love him so much but I'm getting so depressed and can't take living like this anymore

I feel everyones pain. I had to move out of the place I shared with my husband because he went nuts on me when I was 37 weeks pregnant with my husband. We were married 9 months and together 2.5 years. He hasn't worked steadily since we got married, he does drugs, is extremely paranoid and delusional that I am having an affair with someone at work he made comments that his son isn't his and that he wants a paternity test. One minute he loves me the next minute I am a slut and a whore. He never takes responsibility for his actions and everything is my fault. He told me in the beginning that he suffered from severe depression, adhd, and anxiety disorder, but my therapist thinks that he has bipolar disorder. During the last episode he threatened to kill me. Unless he gets the treatment he needs and gets a job and changes I won't go back. I have blocked his number and messages because they do nothing, but upset me. I'm trying to forgive him because now I know that it is the disease that makes him like that.

Wow. Oh wow. Aren't we all just perfect mirror images. To the commenters who are NOT married to their bipolar partners, don't do it. I'm sorry, I know that you love them. I love my husband too. Or I did. I don't know anymore. I've been married 12yrs. We have three kids, and they are starting to suffer now. They stay in their room most days. My oldest is sinking into a depression. She's 12yrs old. She doesn't even want to get up most of the time. Most kids her age are out running around with friends, laughing and joking. Not her. She told me the other day it's because of him. She can't stand her own father. She's tired of walking on eggshells with her siblings. They are all tired of seeing me used as an emotional and verbal punching bag. He's been having an episode for months now. CRAZY highs and lows. It can change by the hour or the minute, depending on what real life throws at us. And me? I'm tired. I don't have the energy to help him anymore, or beg him to get help. Too much has happened. I took my wedding ring off the weekend of my 12yr olds birthday.(which he ruined over a cell phone that HE messed up). I'm not putting it back on. I'm done. My kids come first.

Hi everyone. This sounds like my husband. I found out he was having an affair and he moved in after 3 days and was with her for about 2 months. He would always be mad at me and find ways of making everything my fault and not accepting the responsibility of his choices. It was always me or his family. We made him do things, it was never his fault. After those 2 months we was with her, he said he wanted to work on our marriage. We drove from LA to CA with our 2 kids to be around his family. We had a huge fight one night on the drive there. I let him know we couldn't work on our marriage while he had a girlfriend. That made me a monster, I made him break up with his girlfriend. I'm sure she also needs some mental help since he ignored her calls and texts, she decided to call and text me and let me know how she had been in my bed with my husband. Very proud of herself for breaking up our family. That night he talked about killing himself and it wasn't the first or last time. We did manage to move past that as long I didn't talk about anything, which I didn't for a while because I was concerned about him. We made it 3 wonderful and then heartbreaking weeks again because he decided to one day out of the blue to go back to her and abandon us in CA. He is not the person I married 9 years ago and with a 8 and 3 year old, I have to keep them safe. I didn't choose to walk away but he pushed me away. There is so much more in between but that's the bulk of it. His family has asked him to get help and told him he's making a huge mistake but he is so selfish and says nothing is wrong with him and if he has a problem he can handle it himself. I've learned the hard and painful way, if the person is unwilling to acknowledge they have a problem, there is nothing you can do. Until they are ready to help themselves, no one else can help them. It's been 3 1/2 weeks since I've heard from him. He literally walked down the street one day after getting physical with me and I've not seen or heard from him since then. I have seen the lovely pictures that his gf posts on fab so at least I know he's alive. My advice is if your loved one is willing to get help, help them but if they aren't, you need to do what is best for you. Especially if you have children together. The kids don't deserve to get hurt because someone refuses to help themselves. I feel for everyone and understand what you are going through. I hope that you are able to find peace with yourselves to make those hard decisions.

Wow ! I am in awe at how much some of these stories sounds just like my life. I've been with my husband for twenty years and really started to notice his mental illness about 8 years ago. The highs and lows are starting to come more frequent and typically happens when he is drinking. Our kids are starting to walk on egg shells and I'm starting to notice an emotional disconnect with my son that worries me. I am too afraid to bring up getting help to my husband because the smallest clue that I give him regarding him and mental illness he completely blows up. I am really at my wits end and I'm looking for a way to safely leave. I am the sole provider for the house and I know this will push him to new lows. I battle with this because I am not perfect in all of this. Before I really understood what I was dealing with I just thought he was a mean cheating bastard and started to have an affair on my own. Of course he found out and now (3 years later) I am every hoe slut and any other deragotory term you can think of. I'm sick of it and ready to go but feel some what guilty of his current state because of my actions. I am so lost and confused

As I read this, I think...wow! All of these are you and your ex. I just cannot believe it. The crazy thing is I am so depressed and lonely. I am grieving the love we shared. All the fun times, but scared of all the sad times-from Bri g put out, accused wrongly, implied of messing around, yelled at then becoming his love. I wonder why am I so needy? Why do I want to be in a hurtful relationship just to have someone? What is up with me? Why am I not content?

Been there done that. The bottom line is you can't help people who don't want to be helped. To keep complaining about what your bipolar spouse or partner is doing is a waste of time. They are who they are. You are going down the drain physically, mentally, emotionally and some financially. This is time you can never get back. They have no regard for your sacrifices or care. Yes they will walk away and let them. Yes you will hurt for a while but you will look back and be glad they are gone. You will loose your sanity trying to make sense of this illnesses. These relationships are not healthy. You will end up confused and broken. They will move on to the next person while you are a shell of your former self. While they might have a hard time making correct choices you are suppose to be able to make better choices.

All these comments are a testimony of what each of us have gone through. I know it is the right decision to leave. My fifteen year old son loves his father and the two have a bond that he did not share with two older daughters. My husband always showed signs, mild at first then consistently increased over time. He seemed to always need to be high every other month but no more than that. Years progressed we had children. Things than became complicated. I became more distant slowly I loved him then. When he was younger he was a fun dad for the children but when my girls started talking back which adolescent girls can, he just lost it My husband and I did not seek help until much later. I brought things to his attention he would listen majority of time and try to be more reasonable. My story is a carbon copy of others here. It just started out mild, then grew moderate due to his substance abuse. Became more of a self centered pick when on or coming off drugs. It apparent it only happened when doing drugs. Things improved over years and went to marriage counseling. Difficult yet was helpful. I should of left him when drugs were getting out of hand however, I was staying at home and being caretaker for three children when things shifted into severe mode. I remember the insults. I was a fighter meaning very steadfast about how he treated me and what a schmuck I thought he was. I told him and would leave the house with children. I thought I was strong. Probably just in denial. Had no where to go. I could of but I felt so alone. He did not mistreat me continuously . The hostility and irrationality of his behavior was not a weekly or monthly occurrence . Not until now in 2016. Long story, sorry! My husband became an alcoholic around 2007 thru 2011. He became a mess. Tequila was the killer. It was pathetic. He embarrassed me and angered the kids who were getting older. My daughter disliked him and lost all respect for him and my son was hurt and stayed away. Same with me. I would look at him and just leave to the bedroom and be with kids. He would fall asleep very soon after coming home from work. Happy that would happened. We were very angry with him He was an ass. He went to rehab twice and really improved. Getting clean is what set his mania into severe mode. It was bizarre. A huge event happened where he lost it. I let his sister know what was going on and she definitely noticed something was up. He could not sleep for days and could not rest, stop moving or stop chattering incessantly. He got on med for being Bipolar. Yeah lithium! He slowed waaaayy down and also took Web u rite for depression . This all helped him tremendously . He was consistent with medication for about 1 1/2 years then he started to miss his morning lithium dose and so forth. His behavior then had becomed more stable by itself. I said that I spoken with others who had the diorder who were less behaviorally harmful and they just took Seroquil or Trazadone to go to sleep. So then that worked for a while. Then he went back to using stimulants ..that actually helped him mellow out from a high in mania but then came the accusations, name calling and angry outbursts. Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde have returned. I can hardly take it anymore. Now I am saving more money consistently and planning out what my options are for me and son. He knows how he makes me feel and am distant and careful in what I say. He has learned over time. The only thing he was consistent about, in behavior, was that he was always inconsistent! I am more hopeful about myself and future now I put myself first and hold ground tight when his emotional manipulations are in play.

Help – I feel totally and utterly trapped…
My spouse is bipolar with schizophrenia, pretty bad. We’ve been together for 15 years, 8 of the most recent years have been utterly hell, over 14 hospitalizations in 8 years, 3 times he’s threatened to kill me, (although, you ask him, it really wasn’t him, it’s not his fault, it’s the ‘spirits’ or ‘angels’ or other voices he is being told.
He’s the background…met him 15 years ago, young aspiring actor/musician, got in to SAG, got a legitimate A-Listing Agent, worked in a few movies, several commercials, the TV shows Charmed and 2 ½ men, several others. He writes music, very good music, a few have been used.
In 2008, he had his first psychotic break. He was hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai medical center for 7 weeks. The first week, he was wondering the halls, didn’t recognize anyone, didn’t recognize me. I thought I lost him, no one in my family has any mental health issues, I didn’t know what to think, what was going on.
After coming him, someone stable, it took another 5 months before he was able to go outside the house again, that summer (2008) we married.
Since 2008, he’s been hospitalized like I said over 14 times. Last year (2015) he was hospitalized 3 times alone. His last hospitalization was 12/2/2015, I woke up at 2am with him 18 inches from my face threating to kill me. Called the police, told them it’s a mental health emergency (helps warn them what they are walking in to and hoping they send the Psych team out who will not pull a weapon and kill the patient on site). Off he went again to the hospital, however, this last hospital was horrible, they bold faced lied to me, I’ve got recordings of them telling me one thing, then the following week saying that’s not what they were doing, they wanted to dump him after the first week. Mind you, we have private insurance, it’s not like they’re not going to get paid. However – by the last week of December 2015, the hospital placed him in a taxi and sent him home, without telling me at all. I believe in California, where we are (Los Angeles), the hospital is required to advise the party the individual threatened to kill that they are being released. ESPECIALLY if sending him back to the same person they threatened to kill in the first place.
I called the hospital on 12/29 (also recorded) 40 minutes of me yelling at every level of manager/doctor asking where the hell was he? Why? Because I called to see how he was, no one could find him. NO ONE could tell me what happened to him…. 40 mins later, while still on the phone with the same hospital, my spouse walks in the front door… ‘hi honey…’
Needless to say, 2016 has been for the most part good. However, he’s not taking ANY anti-psychotic or psych meds. Refuses them. Why? Because, he’s not bipolar according to him. All he has is insomnia. He knows this because he read it online, so it must be true..
He’s taking Ambien to help him sleep and Ativan. I knew already he was a ticking time bomb again, just waiting for crazy ville to come back out. Well, 4 weeks ago, I started to see the signs and symptoms, talking about people changing into lizards, the voices, on and on and on…
Since 2008, I won’t say we’ve lost friends, but, no one comes over our house anymore, every holiday, every celebration is a train wreck of one type or another. He never leaves his music room, spends 15 hours a day on facebook rambling about his hallucinations, we don’t go out, I haven’t seen TV in over 6 years, because everything they say on TV he believed was real or directed towards him!
He has no family except his mother and sister in Illinois, they can’t help at all. I’m on the verge of bankruptcy with medical bills (deductibles AFTER insurance we’re responsible for, over $50,000).
And this morning, he says, I’m going to be beheaded. I can’t hospitalize him yet (again), because he isn’t that far gone to be assessed yet, when the team comes to asses him, he has enough cognizant whit to talk his way out of being hospitalized. I have to wait until he decompresses so bad AGAIN, that he has to get dragged out of the house by the police.
WTF do I do? I feel trapped, I feel absolutely hopeless. I’ve been fighting doctors, hospitals for the last 8 years trying to get him the right help, the right assistance, to assure he isn’t released without going through intense therapy (he was raped by his father at 16).
We haven’t been intimate in over 6 years, why? Because several times, during his episodes, he thinks I’m his father. Now, I’m fearful that any intimacy would lead to an association I’m his father and might trigger a psychotic break. I still love him,, but I’m not IN love with him.
If I divorce him, over 14 doctors have already said that he will end up homeless and on the streets, just like many of the homeless roaming Los Angeles with mental health issues. This is Los Angeles, I can’t afford 2 house payments, lol….
I feel trapped… trapped because I don’t want that to happen, trapped because I have no idea what to do anymore. I’m exhausted fighting him, fighting the system. I feel beaten.
And to top it off, on Friday 12/30, I asked his sister if she and her mother (his mom) would please call him once a day, maybe trading off days so the sister calls one day the mom calls the next day, he's all alone, doesn't have any friends anymore, doesn't speak to anyone, doesn't leave the house, he's a hermit. He only has me to speak to and I can't handle it anymore, it's not good for my health, it's not good for him to keep hearing the same thing from me, he needs his family to step to the plate. Yesterday, the mom texted me, not bothered to call me, but texted me, saying she spoke with him and he sounds calmer, but definitely he needs immediate hospitalization because he keeps talking about having babies and that his mom is dead, his sister was buried by her father and so on, but she can't speak to him and getting upset herself, it's not good for her (she's 60 btw), and doesn't want to call him often. I went off on her, telling her I've been dealing with it for 9 straight years, 24x7, ALONE, that we are talking about her son and I'm asking her to speak to him not to help me, because she really can't, but to help him. I am only getting 1-2 hours of sleep most nights because he keeps me up, waking me up at all hours rambling about people who transform into lizards and that he doesn't want to lose his halo feels he needs as an angel,.. I finally blew up at her and said at least my family genes has the good decency to drop dead of heart attacks instead of having mental health in their entire family (all males on his side of the family have severe mental health issues) lingering on for decades causing grief and pain for everyone around them.
I think my only action for his benefit and mine is going to be to file a restraining order right after his next hospitalization, maybe that'll force the hospital and social workers assigned to him to actually get him treated. I don't have any choices, I've been providing a safe haven for him to return to and subsequently as he is an adult I have no power of attorney over him (since he refuses to grant me that) he does what he always has done, because he can get away with it.

Hello all! I am reading all your stores and have the same. I have been with my bf for 2 yrs now and he has accused me of cheating and is jealous of me having a lot of friends since i am a social person. He is depressed a lot. He dropped out of school, lost hos car, lost his place. Moved in with me and it has been good, but bad. I get so aggravated and want to give up, but i love him. My friends/family said to give up you can find better, BUT I CANT!! Why?? He was on lithium, was on it for a month and got off because of the side affects. He was off it for a month and started flipping out because i would curl my hair or wear boots to work. He has an appt to go to get on more meds on Friday. Has anyone else had an issue with their bf getting of and on meds or is this common? Im at my wits end. I also have 2 kids (not his) Am i giving up? So lost and confused pls help

Wow, I'm glad to read all of these stories. I feel less crazy and not so alone. I believe my husband is bipolar 2. It's like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He has a psychiatrist and has been on several kinds of meds, but none have stopped the cycling. When he's on meds he has an episode about every 8-12 weeks. They are usually triggered by something that I do or the kids do. He blames us for his unhappiness, he goes into rages and breaks things, then leaves saying he wants a divorce. This still happens when he is medicated- I don't think he's had the right meds yet. He stops taking the meds every couple of years and doesn't tell me. He stopped his meds last October and has been cycling in and out of anger and rage and depression for a few months. He blames me and the kids and hasn't been home for 2 months. He is angered if I even hint that he may need help. Even therapy. He dropped his psychiatrist who wouldn't let me be involved in his treatment, but at least did medicate him and recommend therapy. He hasn't seen his therapist for months. We've been married 5 1/2 years, together for 9. I love him and don't want to let him go. Our good times are really good. I feel so helpless. I have to get the strength to tell him he has to get help or I'm the one who is leaving. It's an awful, awful existence. My heart goes out to you all and to those who have this terrible disease. I wish I could figure out how to get him the help he needs. I want to support him, I really do.

Thank you Jesus!...This is the best thing I've EVER found on bipolar. I totally thought I was the only one this was happening too. I have endured countless HOURS of name calling (some i've never even heard before) just to have him roll over in the same breath and say "i'm sorry babe, let "do it". Are you f****** kidding me?!?! I have lived with this horrible disorder for 2 years. He has left, just got up and walked out at least 50 times. Some times for a few days, usually for a few weeks. I even woke up one morning to find out that he had packed his truck up and left in the middle of the night while I was sleeping. He always leaves with a paycheck and comes home broke. I have had to pay the bills and pull his weight at home while he runs the streets drinking, and hanging out with some of the worst people. He's even gone on for HOURS about what he thinks I was like with a boyfriend I never had when I was 15. 15! Are you kidding?! I'm 41!!!! He HATES me because of a relationship I had when I was 19. I mean he's OBSESSED with thinking about me with other men. He literally thinks I have had sex with EVERY man I've ever crossed paths with since I was 11. WTF? I now see that I'm not crazy (thought maybe I wasn't but when you're told you are long enough you start to believe). This last time he bounced was 2 days before he was going to see a Doctor for the first time and get meds. I have tried to stay by his side and support him thru things I would have never thought one human could do to another but no more. He told me about a week ago that he knows he can do anything to me and I'll never leave him. Yeah. Right. Says you. If you haven't married your beloved mental roller coaster yet, DON'T! You WILL regret it, sooner than later. If it's already too late, you married in sickness and in health. My suggestion is demand they get medicated (and make sure you hand it to them and WATCH them swallow it) or consider dual housing for your own sanity. I love him so much it makes my chest hurt to think of the things he's done and said to me. I WANT to spend the rest of my life with him, but NOT if it means I'm going to become suicidal as many times a day as his mood/mind swings into crazyville. Eventually the bad will out way the good and you will realize you've wasted your time, love and energy on someone who doesn't feel you are worth taking a silly little pill for. The illness is an excuse for what they are doing to you and the way they treat you. Lowering your self worth enough to justify being with someone who is sooo incredibly disrespectful and ill is just not worth it. I wish you all the best of luck and I pray that your situation ends better than mine. You just have to find when enough is enough.

I lost my best friend to bp also . she was my whole world . we were together a yr and a half and did not know she was bp until half way into . she cheated on me beat the hell out of me mentally and physically but kept going back to her . I cooked cleaned was paying all the bills took care of the kids and still never was what she wanted , could never meet her standards . I was accused of cheating on her every single day sometimes 2 or 3 times a day . I could never go to the store or ride in the car with her without being told I was checking out someone . got to the point of not being able to watch tv with her or I was cheating with whoever was on tv. I was never allowed to have friends or I was cheating . she was fine until she stopped taking her meds then that's when the shit started . I never worked so hard in my life for someone just to get my heart ripped out over and over and over . she also self med without me knowing . I cant do it anymore . leaving her was VERY hard . she always knows what to say to give me hope . she is the love of my life and pure evil ! never in my life has anyone treated me like she has . im considering seeking help for myself , im not the same person I used to be , im an empty shell of who I used to be .

I need help my wife is bipolar everthing described here and on other websites suggests that . Now when i started to discover this i thought cool i can figure it out becuase when she isnt having episodes its the best relationship i have ever had.we have been togather for around 5 years and i have dealt with alot im constantly told im cheating. Whenever i talk to her mother or her sister she says im trying to get with them. Any argument we have escalates very quickly to the point that i have to either restrain her or be physically harmed i have no protection from her.she gets a little verbal with our boys and im worried if she had one in joint custody and no lonher had me to take out her episodes on that she mighy actually hurt one of them im scarrf that if i up and leave this will happen.whether she means to or not.she is always threatening to runaway to a mission or or thretening to call the cops on me and say im hitting her . Whenever i have money she throws fits till she gets her way.i have tried everything on the help sites .i am very miserable here life is hell for me .its gitten so bad that at one point i was being promoted to assistant manager that she had episode stating i was cheating and blew up that i was not able to retain my job. Im scared for my boys i really dont want them to loose thier mommy but the way she is going i truly am worried one might get hurt .but i really just want to take them and cut her out completely but idk.. idk how i would be able to raise them on my own while i work i have no other family ....i feel stuck and depressed i recently started smoking agian as i cant find anyway to resovle this i have no financial stability i feel trapped and i feel she knows this and uses it to her advantage

I'm going through a legal separation right now from by husband of 20years. He was diagnosed bipolar with delusions and refuses to take medication. He has got significantly worse over the years but especially the last two. Im also accused of cheating on him with anyone and everyone. If i went to the store with our 4 kids i was accused of cheating at home with kids accused it doesnt matter what proof I have he won't even look at it he already has his mind made up. He says I'm lazy I'm a liar everything always my fault. He calls me every name in the book. He was never physical until this year he spit in my face twice and on another occasion choked me 3times I called the police and he was arrested for domestic violence. Which of course I sent him to jail he says I said you put hands on me. He checked himself into mental treatment facility June 2016 per his psychiatrist request and stayed 7days got out started drinking and stopped medication. He's an alcoholic. Then in October 2016 he attempted suicide and was taken to hospital for 6days and mental facility straight from there for 7days. As soon as realised he took medication for 10days until gone. Then he called his psychiatrist to see about refill and he was told she would no longer be his Dr
Because he had blew up on her receptionist at last appointment so then again he was unmediated
The whole time he was in there I was trying to figure out how to stop foreclosure and pay bills and save his job. We are on one income and fell behind from first hospital stay. Things had been horrible and no matter what I did it wasn't enough. This last March he got upset took off left us for couple weeks. Then came back and abandoned us april 20th with no car no money . He then received our income taxes the 25th and blew all of it $8,000. Mind you he owed my parents $4,000 from borrowing. They didn't receive there money. The only people that were there for him in despair. So he is still gone and we have nothing. He hasn't paid may mortgage yet and since we're in loan modification trial you cannot be late or they can stop foreclosure. So not only am I losing my husband of 20years now the kids and I face losing our home. Our dog is buried in backyard my 5yrar old daughter best friend it broke my heart when she said if we have to move can we please bring titan? We have indured hell these past two years and I felt I had no other choice but to file for separation. He was served about a week ago and will not respond to text anymore. He has not seen or called or asked about his kids. I cannot explain the hurt I am in this is the hardest thing ever. I love him and I gave him my everything and he acts like he doesn't care one bit. My heart breaks for my kids who ask about him. I don't know what to do I want to wake-up from this nightmare. I could go on and on . I pray that he realizes what he's doing I pray he gets medicated and sticks with it for him and our kids. I feel for everyone out there who has had to deal with a bipolar loved one and I feel for everyone fighting bipolar

Its hood knowing you are not alone,i havr been in a relationship for 13 years,my partner gor diaganosed 8 years ago. When we got the diagnosis it explained previous behaviour. He does not take his meds and pretends to the doctor all is well......it is not.The past year has been horrendous and all i do is cry. I cant do right for wrong. Im the one that does everything in regards to upkeep of house and looking after our child. Im getting to the point that enough is enough.....a gew weeks ago he smashed up our room....and whilst i was in tryibg to tidy up the mess i got it next. I was hurt pretty bad and cant get it out of my head. He cant remember and ive only told him bits and pieces as i know what reaction ill get if i tell him excatly what he done. He is always right no matter what i say. I can no longer walk about with a fake smile on me face.....i feel so empty and so alone. He only has me and our son,he doesnt get on with his family. I love him so much but i cant do it anymore. I have lost so maby jobs because of him,i recently lost my mum and even then he was nasty and abusive and i wasnt able to deal with mattera because he turned it round so it was all about him. He has know idea as to how he makes me feel... Its always all about him....my heart is broken and i am broken.

My bipoler wife has left again. And it is strange because yesterday she said that she wanted to be a family again then she disappeared how much more can a person take the children keeps asking about her and I keep telling them that she's over at friend's house but actuality she's in the streets with some other man

I have been with a man for 3 1/2 years now and we were engaged. Over the past year he became more distant and our intimacy all but vanished. 6 weeks ago he left, packing all of his things and moved out. He put my ring on and said he would be back. In the passed 6 weeks i learned that his ex-wife had him diagnosed years ago and he has never been on medication. I had always heard his sisters day "oh he is BP" and his daughters, who now have lost me told me all the time that he was crazy. I never knew what would be like. How it would feel to have a man that you love so much just move out and go away. He still has access to my home and i have a key to his apartment. I went to see for myself if he was ok, and it was completely dark in there. No pics of anyone or anything, even his mom who passed away a year ago Saturday. my heat hurts for him and i am trying to wait to see if he comes back around and after reading these comments i am now afraid. My have two beautiful children 13/16 that loved him so much and now i need to be strong enough to walk away. I am not even sure he is on medication or cares at all.
I want to thank all of you who wrote on here. IT takes so much courage to seek help for others and for ones self.
Please be careful and guard your hearts.

Me and my wife has been together for 2 years and married for 8 months and I love this woman with all of me we are a lesbian and interracial couple and I’m 7 years older than here and I had a 3 year old when we met and it took me this long to understand everything but during these dark times of her texting and calling other woman well her ex’s but this last one is new and they have video chatted and all of this hurts so bad but it took me 2 years and the feeling like I’m crazy cause she made me feel like I was but it’s her that needs help she is bipolar and hasn’t been on her meds for 2 years and things keep getting worse but when she feels stress it’s a trigger and her mom is a trigger also and that’s the main one her mom and it’s so hard to see the love of ur life trying to live and make her mom happy but she is fighting her self to get back to me to watch her be so confused and torn so she runs to these people that don’t know her and really don’t care to either it’s a escape from reality cause my wife thinks if she does these things that I will walk away so she can’t hurt me anymore and I keep getting back up after she knocks me down ready for more cause damn it I want her to be healthy but when I talked to someone for myself she told me that no matter how much I love her and how much she loves me I can’t save her she has to want to get help and then I can be there and support her and we do it together but until then me trying to make her see or get her to wake up when she doesn’t want to yet is only making it worse and pushing her further in to her episode and I have to remove myself and just let her fall but it’s so hard to watch the one u love fall and then when she ready to get up help her up and then we can move forward together damn this hurts so bad cause I love this woman so much

I have been living with my Boyfriend who has bipolar disorder for the past 5 years. I have been up and down the roller coaster with him. I had to get him hospitalized once, he got so out of control. After that, I hoped he would stay on medication, and go to his therapy appointments. Instead, he took the meds until they ran out, and blew it off. About a year later, we moved to a new house that I am buying. He had another episode, this time flying off the handle screaming and yelling at me. I was just cleaning the house when this happened, and I have no idea what set him off. I was scared by his behavior, and thankfully, he walked out. He spent the next few days at his mom's, then came back. I told him that if was going to continue to live with me, he had to get help, including medication and take it! To my surprise, he did as I asked, and that went pretty well for a couple of months. They scheduled him to get his meds injected once a month, because is was so bad to "forget" pills. He missed the appointment, and never rescheduled. I mentioned rescheduling a few times, but it never happened. There have been so many times when he goes out to bars while I am at work, and although I do not approve of that at all, I tried to trust him, and not make a big deal out of it. There have been numerous times he has accused me to stealing from him, or being "out to get him" in some way. I have had to work double shifts lately, due to a coworker quitting. I am not home much lately, but I am the only one working, and I really don't have any choice. When I came home from work the end of this week, I was so exhausted and just wanted to sleep. He slipped out while I was sleeping, and didn't come home until around 4-5am. Of course I was angry, and let him know so. The next day, he just gets up and walks out, and didn't come home until around 3am. He could barely walk he was so drunk. He got a huge argument with my son, then passed out. The next day, I was still very upset, but I just kept quiet to avoid any drama. Later this evening, he made some comment that just instantly fired me up, and we got in an argument, where of course, everything is MY fault cause I am "never home" and I just want to stay home all the time (even though he NEVER invites me to go out). I love him, and I have put up with so much because I know he is "sick" and I really hoped I could convince him to get help, but he seems to prefer his crazy life, roaming the streets drinking, hanging out with literally ANYONE. As a previous poster said in their comments, I wasn't worth enough to him to take a pill every day, or one injection a month. He walked out tonight, and I changed the locks on the doors. I love him and it hurts, but I think it's time to get this roller coaster for good. Good luck to you all, and please pray for me to stay strong.