How do you talk to someone with disordered eating around the Holidays? The Holiday season is a time of gathering and lots of food. The average person may complain of overindulging and gaining some turkey or pie weight. But for the person with an eating disorder, the joy of the Holidays can be a time filled with anxiety (Surviving (and Thriving) During the Holidays With An Eating Disorder). Food is a part of celebration, but for those with disordered eating it can be difficult to maintain stability or stay on the recovery path. Added to that stress, are the dreaded looks or awkward questions of friends and family members. Here’s how to be a supportive person and talk with someone with disordered during the Holiday celebrations.

You don’t want your eating disorder to magically disappear. You may be thinking, “Um, yeah I do,” but hear me out. In counseling, there’s something known as the “miracle question.” Often it sounds like, “If you woke up tomorrow and you no longer had your problem, how would you be different? How would your life be different? How would your future be different?” The process is supposed to get you to think about, envision, and even feel what your life might be like if your problem were gone. But here’s why you don’t want your eating disorder to magically disappear.

There is hardly a man or woman in the modern world who doesn’t have some area of their body that they dislike. Body image issues are not just for those of us with eating disorders. The difference is, where the normal eater might think something like, “Oh, I should watch my portion sizes or go on a walk a few days a week,” those of us with eating disorders automatically scream “Run! Starve! Binge! Purge! Get rid of every ounce of fat on your body!” This is only exacerbated by the fact that many of us with eating disorders also have body dysmorphic disorder, meaning that we have an inaccurate view of our bodies.