Addiction recovery, or for that matter, any recovery, requires a certain amount of patience in yourself as you learn new healthy coping skills. Some people who struggle with addiction have struggled for years, and brain pathways have developed around the craving and use of substances. In order to change behaviors, there is absolutely going to be an amount of time where you feel uncomfortable, unsure of yourself, and feel out of your comfort zone. That is because the addiction was the comfort zone for so long, no matter how devastating the consequences.

Addiction is death. I don’t just mean physical death. I mean emotional, mental and spiritual death as well. Addiction has the ability to destroy lives – and I should know. I have seen first-hand how addiction has destroyed relationships, leaving individuals broken and beaten down. I have this experience.

Sometimes, it is important to know when you need a break, a hiatus, and have to say no to certain things in your life. I have taken a few weeks off writing because I knew I was spread too thin with work, travel, life and health issues and asked to take a break. In recovery and sobriety from an addiction or mental health struggle, we can often take on too much. We think we can do it all and become yes people. When we feel we need a break or are feeling overwhelmed, we start to question if something is wrong with us. We start listening to the "should monster," saying we should be able to do it all.  Then we beat ourselves up if we cannot handle it.

I know it's difficult to say no to others, but your addiction recovery comes first. Wanting to help others is only natural when you see them going through what you are currently going through, or have gone through in the past. By nature, I believe a lot of people find it easier to take care of others versus themselves. I want to remind all recovery warriors, that you must take care of YOU first, and others second. Your addiction recovery comes first--always.

Two weeks ago I took a Benadryl because I was struggling with some sinus issues, and a few hours later at work, I felt like I was ‘off.’ I was sort of dazed, out of it, brain was not thinking as quick, and my entire body was tired. It literally took me half an hour to figure out that the Benadryl was the mostly likely cause.  I take Benadryl a lot, and rarely feel any side effects, but this day I was completely uncomfortable in my body. I didn’t feel centered or in control of how my body was feeling. It felt like I was drugged, and it was uncomfortable.

In years past, I was a yes person. Whenever I was asked to take on a new project, help contribute to something, be part of an event, I would say yes without thinking. I had no idea there was any issue in this. This seemed in stark contrast to early addiction recovery. When in early sobriety, I was able to take care of me, and make things simple. I knew what I needed to do, whether it was to go to meetings, see my therapist, get enough sleep, not go out on weekends, surround myself by supportive people, etc.

A huge part of my own personal recovery is due to coming out of the hiding in darkness. When you are wrapped in an addiction you cannot see outside your own actions, and live in secrecy, trying to hide your behaviors from others, thinking you are clever, when people will tell you later they watched it slowly unravel without knowing how to help us, or help change the behavior. An addiction is surrounded by lies, sneaking around, feeling alone, feeling trapped, and feeling alone.

I was asked the other day “is full recovery from addiction possible?” and that is the question that consistently is asked, and needs to be consistently addressed, because those who struggle with addiction, eating disorders, self-harm, etc. truly need to hear an answer from those whom are in recovery from addiction or recovered. Anyone who follows me on Twitter, or reads my blogs, knows that I believe in full addiction recovery. I know it is possible not only because I am living proof, but because I see people daily who are also living proof.

The holidays can bring a lot of stress to people, and there may be an increase in triggers for those in recovery. There are a lot of articles and stories about how to stay present, and mindful of recovery throughout the season. I think it is important to continue to remind people to embrace a perspective of gratitude for all the joys we have in our lives. It isn't only a necessary recovery tool, but important for all areas of our life when we feel overwhelmed or stressed.

The holidays are a time of joy, celebration, family, friendships and spending time together, however throughout the month of December I always am asked for tips, or recommendations to help manage stress and stay present, mindful, healthy and sober. The holidays can be a huge stressor for many; there are parties, gifts to buy, family events, and sometimes it can all be too much.