Mental health activism took the place of my political involvement because of my schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective anxiety and depression makes it hard to get politically involved, much less politically active. I don’t even watch the news anymore. Donald Trump’s election triggered my schizoaffective depression to the point where politics became a source of extreme anxiety. But I can involve myself in mental health activism.

A couple of years ago, I went running every day for help for schizoaffective disorder. I let running fall by the wayside as winter approached even though running really made me happier, more energized, and less anxious. So why doesn’t this schizoaffective gal lace back up her running shoes, and what made her stop running to begin with if running was such a great help for schizoaffective disorder?

Life is good, even with schizoaffective disorder, and I look forward to April 15 when I turn 39. I was 19 ½ when I had my first schizophrenic psychotic episode and that means I developed schizoaffective disorder half my life ago. Life is good with schizoaffective disorder now, but has it always been that way?

My anxiety treatment is not working anymore. In the summer, I wrote about how I was decreasing my antidepressant to lessen my schizoaffective anxiety. That time, it worked (Taking an Active Role in My Psychiatric Medication Changes). But earlier this month when I tried to do the same thing for the same reasons, it didn’t work. I’m not sure why it didn’t help, but I have some ideas.

Sleep is my escape, and I need it because schizoaffective disorder causes so much stress in my life. I also suffer a lot from schizoaffective depression. Sleep is an escape -- like a magic getaway. I look forward to going to sleep every night.

I took an atypical antipsychotic medication that makes you feel numb when I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1999. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type and tried a mood stabilizer that my doctor allowed the antipsychotic dosage to be decreased. Finally, I felt like myself again.

I'm isolating myself because of schizoaffective disorder and generalized anxiety disorder because I’m simply afraid to socialize in all sorts of ways—even more recently, in support groups. Here's why I'm isolating myself.

I've been smoke-free since March of 2012—13 years after I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and 10 years after I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It was really hard and sometimes, even six years later, it is hard to remain smoke-free with schizoaffective disorder. But I’ve been able to do it. Here’s how.

I found a way to cope with emotional overreaction in schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type. I feel oversized emotions so I emotionally overreact to almost everything. Unfortunately, my big emotions are usually negative—anxious, sad, helpless. Here are some examples of times I experienced big emotions and overreacted. I hope it helps to share how I cope with this trait.

Is this hypomania or happiness? I’m afraid to be happy. I know that’s a cliché, but, for me, it’s true. I’m afraid to be happy because happiness can betray me. What if it just turns out to be schizoaffective hypomania and I crash into a depression? Hypomania vs. happiness really matters.