Sleep Is My Escape from Schizoaffective Disorder
Sleep is my escape, and I need it because schizoaffective disorder causes so much stress in my life. I also suffer a lot from schizoaffective depression. Sleep is an escape -- like a magic getaway. I look forward to going to sleep every night.
Sleep Is My Escape, and this Schizoaffective Loves to Sleep
I cherish going to bed at night. My favorite sleep environment is when my apartment is cool enough so that I can put on my favorite pajamas and burrow under the covers. In the summer I can’t really do that, and sometimes in the winter, our radiator heat is cranked up so high that PJs aren’t an option then either. But even if I have to sleep in my underwear on top of the blankets with a fan on, sleep is my welcome escape.
Sleep has been a welcome escape since I was little—before I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I used to like to daydream as I fell asleep. I would daydream about the Beatles or characters in books I’d read. Later, in high school, I would daydream about boys I liked.
These days, though, I don’t do much daydreaming. I just lie in bed waiting for sleep to come. I take my medication for my schizoaffective disorder at night, so that helps me fall asleep. Sometimes, if I can’t get to sleep right away, I play on my phone a little bit or go on Facebook.
I remember when I was little and really trying to be a happy, adventurous person. I was really puzzled by why I wanted to lay down all the time. But the truth was that I had created a fantasy world that I could only re-create alone, in my mind, under the covers. Again, I don’t have much of a fantasy world lately. I have to admit that, now, I lay down to avoid reality, not to create a new reality.
I Try to Keep My Sleep Cycle Normal Even Though Sleep Is My Escape
But I do avoid napping during the day because I don’t want to ruin my chances of falling asleep at night. I used to stay up all night and sleep all day, and that felt really lonely. After a tough battle to normalize my sleep cycle, I don’t want to ruin that by sleeping during the day.
When I’m in bed, waiting to go to sleep, it’s the one time I am mostly free from depression or other schizoaffective symptoms. I know that in itself may sound depressing, but it’s true. I look forward to going to sleep every night, even if I have to weather through a hellish day to get there.
Caudy, E. (2018, March 22). Sleep Is My Escape from Schizoaffective Disorder, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2021, January 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/creativeschizophrenia/2018/03/this-schizoaffective-loves-to-sleep
Author: Elizabeth Caudy
I have schizoaffective depressive type. I sleep 12 hours a day and it’s ruining my life. I also am awake all night and sleep all day. Is there something I can do about this??? It’s really difficult to lead a normal life with this problem.
Thank you for your comment. I am sorry you are having a difficult time. Have you discussed this with your doctor? He or she might have some strategies you can use. Take care, Elizabeth
I can so relate. Youtube guided meditations help me fall asleep too.
Good afternoon, I have the depressive form of schizoaffective disorder. My psychiatrist prescribed Risperadol years ago to help me get a better sleep. I also fine a very dark room and cool temperatures help. I sleep about 11 hours a night and try to avoid naps, although sometimes I feel exhausted. I also need a CPAP machine. Sleep is so welcome. It is a relief to my frustrating days.