I Hate the Mentally Ill - My Ex was Bipolar and She was Evil

Every human being is unique; however that doesn't mean there are not some notable hallmarks of certain mental illnesses that should be taken into account.
If I had it all to do over again, would I have been less "open-minded?" Would I have risked pre-judging somebody's illness as being too risky to take on in a love relationship? YES, yes, I would have. More than a decade later, after a failed relationship with a bipolar man (a charming, intelligent, fun person at times who seemed quite caring when it suited him-- who would become more and more paranoid, filled with rage, threatening, violent, isolating, controlling, blaming, etc.); after seeing the tides of despair and rage growing in the eyes of my beloved child (who has only been surrounded by kindness, stability, and love); and after finding out that three members in the extended family of my ex have committed suicide after succumbing to their struggle with bipolar disorder, YES, YES I would have chosen to not be involved with this illness. I would have passed.
I feel immensely for people, such as my daughter, who were born with this illness that they did not choose and cannot undo. It is heart wrenching. I feel sick with grief, sadness, frustration, guilt.. on a regular basis. She is a victim to her illness, yet she is also an abuser to other people.
I will always support and love her; she is my daughter and she is my heart.
But I will never trust people with bipolar disorder completely, and I will avoid taking them into close friendships. My ex, my daughter, my mother-in-law, and one friend all have bipolar and while they all have very different personalities, there are consistent "themes" in how they relate to others once they are comfortable being themselves.

While people who are unmedicated and refuse to seek help can be a pain. I despise normal people blaming bipolars and people with more severe mental illnesses for every crime in the world. People on chrystal meth, people who are malignant narcissts are just as evil if not more evil than bipolars. Florence Nightingale is bipolar i don't think she was evil. They don't generally need to have a diagnosis of a mental health problem. If one is concerned about there being too many bipolars in the world why are there so many malignant narcissist evil toxic people bullying empathetic children in schools and people in the workplace causing them to develop bipolar and psychosis on a day to day basis. In a world run by corporatism where corporations pay 0 tax and poor and middle class people can't afford access to medication. I am starting to think that American society is the evil, and worships fascists like Ayn Rand. It jails the homeless. Makes it illegal to feed the poor. People in the Netherlands and Australia are better at allocating their resources to look after their disabled and mentally ill, but sadly these countries may become the lost cause that is America. A country of hardnosed selfish individualistic people.
I agree with some normal people that some mentally ill are hard to deal with. But i despise some normal people who bully the mentally ill. Don't make accomodations for them so they can keep their jobs, maintain their housing and then blame them for not maintaining their finances. These people need accomodations at work and are given nothing but crap from people like you. Some normal people are worse than the mentally ill because they make trouble for the mentally ill person and are hypercritical negative, and sterotype all mentally ill people. They are so hateful towards the mentally ill they are violent towards them and pretend they were committing self defence. But when they are guilty and end up in jail they still want to blame the mentally ill person and deny that they are guilty. Particularly normal people with malignant narcissism which Ayn Rand probably promotes Americans to follow.
http://leftfootforward.org/2013/10/hate-crime-comes-in-many-forms/ If people hate the disabled and the mentally ill and call them lazy benefit leeches while supporting that corporations pay zero tax it just shows how less empathetic and increasingly evil and selfish some Americans can be.

http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=229057
Do girls find it extra hot when big guys bully small guys? | Wrong Planet Autism Community Forum
People don't mind arseholes and bad politicians being evil, but despise disabled people with weaknesses on benefits and don't mind kicking to the ground and blaming them for everything.
I know a special ed teacher who worked with autistic kids some were good, but unfortunately she had one class where they kept coming up at her and puncing, choking and spitting at her. and she quit working with them. She doesn't find bipolars as tiring as those violent autistic kids. Anyway we should support autistic people because there are many good Autisitic people like Jenny McCarthy. and Daryl Hannah. Just as athere are good bipolar people like Steven Fry. We should not beat up people with alternative weaknesses or put them all in one category.

Nice group of bitter and twisted folks turned up here to rave about their evil exes who have a mental illness. I have bipolar I, and was diagnosed about 10 years ago. I was already a decade into my marriage. Instead of running scared, and demonizing me, my partner has hung in with me, and worked through the things I did while I was sick with me. I'm not saying I haven't acted out when I've been sick. I own everything I do, sick or not. My husband's love and devotion through difficult times has been essential to my long term health. He is involved in my medical care, keeps track of my meds, watches for symptoms of mood change, and communicates with me about how i'm doing daily. Clearly I am very fortunate, seeing the fear and loathing spouted here. Maybe some of you people just don't have any empathy, the guts to stick by your partners or the willingness to be a help to them. Maybe the problem is just as much your lack of abilities to set boundaries, to help those people with their treatment, and be a good partner even when things aren't so easy. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. It's never just one person in a relationship that is at fault when things fall apart. Go ahead and demonize everybody with the same diagnosis as your ex. That's really helpful. We are all individuals first, not all one monolithic group. My mother has bipolar, but it was her malignant narcissism that destroyed everybody in her life. not the bipolar. I keep healthy and loving relationships over decades. It's not the disorder you have to blame, but that other person and yourself. Don't make assumptions about me or my life based on your experience with somebody else with the same diagnosis. It's offensive and ignorant. [moderated]

/me sighs.
Another one of the problems with the term bipolar disorder is that it is thrown around as a catch all for MANY different issues. Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance.
Many people self diagnose with bipolar when in fact they may be drug addicts, narcissits, antisocial or borderline personality disorders. Many doctors throw the book at people who are recovering from addiction in the first year. This is an absolutely poor way to figure out what else may be under the *addiction* when one is recovering their ability to work and their mood swings and hallucinations mimic bipolar, skitzophrenic and some personality disorders. Its very likely that after a few years one can assess more realistically what level of comorbidity there is in that particular person.
Also some people who have bipolar disorder do NOT manage their medications properly. My personal belief is that they have not been taught to advocate for themselves. I openly have refused to take medication suggested to me because I read the side effects and know I will not be able to be compliant. One has to work to find the right cocktail for them.
Basically I will tell people I dont know well I have a siezure disorder. Every single one of my medications is also used to treat seizures...which leads to another topic that i will not go through at this point.
I feel that in many ways people who suffer from mental illness are the last indivuals who need to band together and insist on our civil rights. We have more people distance themselves from us, pathologize and dismiss us, and refuse to treat us as adults with a disorder that is chronic but manageable. I have seen too much bigotry among the general population about mentally ill people. Its time to give the general population more information about who we are. Maybe then people will see that there are many more of us, and many that choose not to mention this pat of us because of the horrible reaction we get.

I work in mental health. Borderline personality-disordered people combined with bipolar disorder are the absolute worst. I have seen them destroy families and careers with their out of control behaviors....particularly when they refuse to take medication. My opinion is that they should be forced to be medicated for their own good. If the behavior is under control, I believe you will hear fewer and fewer stories about their antics, and the hatred that others have for them.

Horrendous blog post, in my humble opinion. Most, if not all, bipolar people are just trying to process all their childhood trauma, usually while on very powerful psychoactive medicine which has some very horrific behavioural side effects. This article just perpetuates the stigma of mental illness, and has probably triggered a lot of bipolar people who have come to this mental health site for help and advice.

It would be great if you could write an article about how most mental illnesses are caused by childhood trauma. I think that might help the "normals" to understand a bit better. Obviously, there's a genetic component, but environmental triggers, like child abuse, are always the trigger. Could you talk about the initial triggers and the best ways to help prevent mental illness in the first place? You'd really be doing society a great service!

Thank you so much for the blog post, it helps me remember that when people judge me based on my bipolar disorder, they are judging me based on their assumptions or experiences with people who just so happen to share my diagnosis. Calling out stigma is always brave, and I appreciate your standing up for us. Thank you again.

The comments on here are sickening. You can't lump all bipolar people into the same category. We are, after all, individuals with our own gifts, histories and struggles. One vroup that should be lumped together is ignorant assholes. If you don't understand bipolar, or if you have only experienced one facet of it, don't demonize it. You have no right to do that unless you have met every bipolar person, ever. I have bipolar I and I take responsibility for my actions, especially when they affect others. It is not my label; it does not define me. If you can't see past the illness far enough to see the good in a person, well, that's the definition of ignorance and is your own damn fault.

@Cindie: if you believe that anyone's HUMAN rights should be violated so blatantly by being "forced to be medicated for their own good" you are definitely in the wrong career field. It's hard to imagine how anyone so judgmental, opinionated, and completely devoid of empathy vould be allowed to get anywhere near a patient with a mental health diagnosis. With such a rigid, biased, and downright cruel attitude, the only thing you will be doing for the people you are working with is making their condition worse. [moderated]

This is a major reason that I, even though my bipolar is managed and I have not had symptoms in years, have given up on relationships. Why let someone into your life when the risk of being judged for your illness is so high? I'll stick to fishing. At least my fishing gear can't say horrible things about me on the internet.

I totally agree with Jon Biert. I have been hurt by the lies of a bipolar person, they are cruel, insensitive, mean people. Everything came as a shock to me, I knew this person was behaving erratically at times, with a lots of ups and downs, he was nice one day and a horrible person next, with a lot of sarcastic comments in our conversations which were very hurtful at times, and then he will praise me to make me feel good. I felt compassion for that person because he was so unhappy with his life and he felt many times that his life was worthless so I took a lot of crap from him because I felt I ought to help him in case things went out of control. He drained me with his negativity, nothing I was suggesting to improve his life was good enough, he talked behind my back to a friend, kept quite about it still accepted him in my life, until one day I had enough from him and told him everything I thought about him, that was the biggest mistake I could have ever done. In my mind I thought if he was a good genuine friend he ought to know what I think about him, but to my surprise I was totally wrong. If I was aware of his condition I would have never told him my feelings, but I wasn't aware about the mental condition and boy did he retaliate! The lies, the revenge was outrageous. He is been for a long time in a high, and he's feeling so strong, powerful and super confident, and that is someone who was crying his eyes out six months ago. I have read a lot about the condition, and the worse thing is that this person is not taking medication, hopefully his family will do something about it, but the only thing I can say is that after all the stress and upsetting I have come to terms with the end of our friendship, and I feel so blessed because I don't feel responsible for him anymore, his family can take over now, I feel better emotionally and believe me I will be super vigilant next time about people's behaviour, and as soon I recognize the pattern I will politely detach from the person, I have to take this as an experience, although not a very pleasant one I have to admit to myself that has made me wiser which it's always a positive thing.

Oh please! You have a right to be nasty?...you can control that if you chose to, your just too lazy to do it and want attention and people to feel sorry for you is all. Listen to the doctors instead of whining all the time!

Oh Moon get a bloody life! Evil is Evil!..Period!

Wow, I mean sometimes I just feels like giving up, but I have to hang on because of the 2 children that we have together, everything was good for 13 years, then had first baby, was very good happy, loving, caring family, 2 years later, 2nd baby, I don't know what the heck happened.
Everything turned upside down, I have a very long story on Quora where I explained everything in detail.
I was a very good caring husband, been together for so long, did so many things for her that not even her parents did, supported her everywhere possible, worked like a dog to support her in her education and everything, I don't understand how can an illness turn someone into so much trouble, and been causing me so much pain.
I used to be a very strong person, in just 2.5 years, now I feel like crying with no tears left. We started treatment immediately and never stopped, we even went overseas and I made sure in advanced to arrange for Psychiatrist to monitor her there as well regularly.
I like she lost the part of her mind that reasons and because a nasty person.
But the thing is, she is able to calculate somehow those calculative nastiness, because it is all executed so perfectly well, to harm me. She likes to humiliate me in public, so that I lose face, she would shout in the neighborhood, and lie etc.
Bipolar can be a very dangerous illness, no wonder why there are so much stigmas surrounding it.
The people who lives, work, care and love become the victim that is unnoticed.
I saw these testimonials here by accident, I kind of feel relieved, but at the same time sincerely feel for the people who needs to suffer those experiences.
There need to be a much better treatment system around these, and fast.
That's all I can say.

The more I read about all these testimonials, you see, I am completely non-religious, but the term EVIL, to properly put that word into context, Bipolar, it an EVIL symptoms. Of course the person who is suffering it, I feel for then too, because I know that they are not in control once the psychosis takes over. But, my friend, I do not know that person. That's a completely different person, I have no link with that person, never met. The one that I know, and love was in talking in your body just before, how come suddenly you go outside, then, out of nowhere, we did not do anything, certainly did not want any arguments, or troubles, did not freaking open a mouth and said anything, she thinks that's I was thinking of something. I don't know what I was thinking of myself, how the heck did she know now? That's where I know, that I will have to buckle up, because the big wave is coming, she would go outside, and come back in, tell me how much she hates me. Just yesterday, I sat with her for hours, to listen to ask her problems, solved all, made her feel so good, happy and beautiful. The next morning, I'm being threatened, verbally abused, shout so that all neighbours hear what she thinks of me, in the state of psychosis and anger. You know, I somehow came across some scary horror movies these couple of years, in there, what is depicted is clearly a psychotic/ psychosis entranced person as being possesed by a evil spirit etc. I for being a complete believer in science, always never believed in those things, still don't. But, this is exactly what it seems like. It's a transformation, almost supernatural, or unnatural. And funny thing, the hospital where she was admitted, that shocked me. Crosses in every rooms, inside and outside the rooms, corridors, consulting rooms, dining. Your see what I mean? But there is more, that I need to investigate. And comment later.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 also ptsd in 2010 after years of confusing episodes,highs and lows.Id like to point out that i have not been the victim of any childhood trauma or abuse.Also i am compliant with medication and recieve ongoing therapy.I came to this site for advice as have been having problems with certain members of my partner of 5 years family.Mainly acceptance of my condition,going as far as being abusive,terms such as "crazy prick" "nutter" etc also old classics like "man up" "its all in your head" etc...Now this may seem trivial to some (sticks n stones) but it has put my partner (who has been amazing since we met & we have two lovely daughters together) in a very awkward position.Im no more of an angel than any one else here,i have my ups n downs,be it bp related or not.I guess i just wondered if anyone else had experianced this or anything like it as has been very stressfull of late?

Unfortunately many people with bipolar do crazy and evil things because that is how their minds work. They make bad and horrendous choices because they WANT to. My mil is bipolar and she is the most horrendous selfish person you could ever meet. I found out after our wedding she tried to get my husband to leave me the night before the wedding because I was "taking away her son" and "not good enough". . She was just a sad excuse for a mother who wanted complete control over her son and he left her side for mine because I made his life a bright and happy place.
I also have two half brothers, one from each parent who are also both bipolar. One tried to murder me and my siblings one day in the car driving into town, the other tried to murder us individually, some in our sleep. The first took his own life, the second is now getting a sex change but still spreads disgusting lies to the rest of the family when he comes into contact with us.
I also deal with many people at my job that are mentally ill. The one. Thing I have learned from 90% of individuals who are bipolar! they are dangerous people. In their fits of rage and hatred think it's perfectly acceptable to harm and murder others and they TAKE glee in it. They are manipulative to TRY and get what they want out of others, and I will always find most of them to be twisted disgusting people who don't deserve to be around the rest of society. They choose not to take their proper medications and therapies and use drugs and alcohol instead thinking society owes them everything. Frankly I can't wait for a large mental institution to be opened again so they can all be locked away, they can't be trusted to take their meds regularly and routinely. They cannot be trusted not to harm others in one of their manic cycles.

I personally have bipolar I disorder and have the long term manic episode flavor of it and haven't been manic in years but I find that a lot of the ones with symptoms of the cluster B personality disorders in particular and rapid cyclers are some of the most rotten and selfish people I have had the misfortune of knowing. When I was manic, I would think I was god or carry on about running for president etc and never really got dangerous until my last few. I thought I could fly at one point, adapt to breathing underwater at another and was paranoid for the last one, like schizophrenia paranoid and was more self dangerous.
That said, I am bisexual, which I note because socially, as a group, we see the world from a specific place and I dated a rapid cycling bipolar II person who I suspect also had a borderline personality and he beat me one day for every inch of my life and I will personally NEVER date a cluster B personality disordered person and would only a minority of bipolar disordered folks. Most people with "bipolar" in my experience has been a self centered, rotten person.

From my view of dealing with this monster of a woman, very self-centered, lazy, back-stabs, hateful, unfaithful, lies alot, ect.... YES, EVIL SEEMS TO SUM IT UP....

I couldn't disagree with this more. Every bipolar person I've met has been a dangerous and despicable monster and I wish I lived under a government that had the courage to destroy them. I say 'destroy' because that is how you talk about monsters.

I have Aspergers, and attend a mental health group weekly that contains patients with various diagnosis. There is a woman patient with bi polar there who I am getting increasingly afraid of. I am scared of attending this lovely group, which helped me get over a depressive time, and was recommended to me by a mental health support worker.
The woman with bi polar is hostile and aggressive about other patients when they leave the room, tells mental health workers things about them behind their backs, and tells us fellow patients not to mention day trips to them, as she doesn't want them to come. All these things are said with the most aggressive, mean and explosive manner.
Now, as a newcomer to the group, I am being targeted by her. If I join in a conversation she glares at me really badly. She makes eye contact with others and rolls her eyes. If I place myself at a different table, she makes sure that her table is silent so that she can hear what I am saying.I feel scared and worried by her.
I cannot do anything other than not attend anymore, as she has put her self at the head of it, and I am low down in the pecking order. I cannot mention it to a mental health worker as she volunteers to help them, and knows them all, and is very friendly with them.
She is not superficially scary, she is scary deep down in her personality to the point where she controls everyone's views or she will put it across that certain patients, which will include me, are awful people.I am feeling really distressed over what I have witnessed her do. Reading others' views here, I think it is best if I stay away from her.

Evil!! Selfish people who have no impulse control, lie,cheat,rage,abusive,egotistical,self serving life destroyers. Not only do bp people want pity for their actions they want you to believe they can't control their actions, wrong!! They also think they are so intelligent, haha, intelligent people can control themselves. They lack empathy unless it's for themselves.They know right from wrong. Lock the life drainers up together and let them destroy each other. poor me, life is so hard on me, overgrown bipolar babies. It must be exhausting ruining normal people's lives!

I am married to someone for 12 years with schizo affective disorder.
I went out for 8 years previously with another person with bipolar disorder.
Both men are lovely people. The person I am am married too is more suited to me and I met him indirectly thought the aftermath of the break up- of the first relationship.
It is too easy to blame bad relationships on mental illness. I have a wonderful marriage and my previous relationship was not awful.

I met the woman of my dreams 3 years ago - seriously intelligent, funny, attractive, and quirky. On the first night we met, there were serious alarm bells ringing (she got very angry I would not sleep with her) but love goggles.... She was beautiful to me, I tried to ignore that.
3 years on, I'm still with her, and she's cycling into another angry / depressive / demanding / lazy state, which happens yearly. It will probably last a minimum of 3 months, and at the end of it, although she will be happier again, there will be no apologies or cares at all regarding how bad she has made me feel and how much I have literally done just to keep us both fed, in a flat that doesn't resemble a bomb site. She will do nothing to help during this time.
As much as I love her, I find it very, very hard to deal with the continuous drama bombs and stress that is no doubt going to happen, as they always have, for the next 1/3 of a year. It's a scary thought.
The reason I stay is she is not /always bad/, and I try to keep in mind that she's ill.
It's the total lack of guilt , that's what I'm not sure I can cope with again. When she is ill, visibly, I can deal with that. When she is feeling better, it is as if she thinks the slate is totally wiped clean and there is no damage to me. Not true. This is the last cycle I am going to put up with, and I'm hoping she is bad enough to me that there is nothing to do but leave.