The very first assistant I hired never made a mistake on my schedule, and my clients loved her because she was so kind with them on the phone. She had great ideas and an ability to find the answer to a problem no matter how long it took. The problem was that it took forever. Everything took forever. Nothing was ever done because she did it over and over to get it just right.  At the same time, she had trouble showing up. Yes, I mean she often didn't come to work. If she couldn't come on time and perfectly ready to work, she didn't come. And anything and everything was an excuse. Her perfectionism made her unable to function. Let go of perfectionism: it is grossly inefficient and could get you fired.

Fill in the blank. Commit. Take action toward that goal. On Facebook, I saw someone who wrote as their status: "Today, I will______ without fear."  (hoping their followers would fill in the blank.). But sometimes, I think, we can feel fear and do things anyway. It may be too much of a stretch to do things without fear. If we waited to do something until we had no fear, we may never do it. I changed it. I am not willing to put my life on hold for fear. Are you? Today, I Will ______Without Letting Fear Stop Me.

When we have a past trauma, so many things can trigger an old memory to rise up and take over our emotions. A smell, a shape, a sound, a touch, a person. Anything our senses take in can send us emotionally back to a threatening past trauma. The suffering of this is intense. It may be a nightmare, a flashback, or an anxiety attack. It can also be incredibly frustrating and disappointing that even though you are presently safe--that you feel the persistent panic as though you are still in constant danger.

Fear deconstructs. Fear is not a marriage builder. Actually, not much messes a marriage up more than fear. Fear has partners withdrawing from each other, getting defensive, talking themselves out of making effort, being down right mean to each other, and looking for love in all the wrong places (What Is a Healthy Relationship?). It can ruin a good thing and make a not so good thing much, much worse.

For the last few weeks, I have invited readers to say goodbye to their problems in my post Dear Fear: A "Dear John" Letter To Anxiety. I shared one reader's letter to fear last week: "Fear, You Are Not Welcome Here!" Today, I am sharing a Goodbye letter from another one of my readers. Ken from Redeker's Travels wrote a Goodbye Letter to his OCD. His powerful words remind us that we can all change our relationship to our fears. Here, I read Goodbye OCD for you on video. Please watch.

A few weeks ago, I invited people to write a goodbye letter to fear using my own letter as an example. At the end I challenged readers: Write a goodbye letter to fear. Start with, “Dear Fear,” and let ‘em have it. Name your fears, tell what you have sacrificed, name its tricks and tactics, list your skills and knowledges, tell it what you’d rather do with your life if it no longer held you back. And then hang it in a place where you can see it, so you can read it everyday until the fear is gone. Readers, what would you like to say? Dear Fear….. Here are some of the responses. Watch me read a powerful goodbye letter to fear in this video.

We all have a mental health. And each of our mental health is in flex all of the time. We, our minds and our bodies and our hearts, change every moment. What separates people with so called "mental illness" (I hate this term) is an us-them mentality. A simple–while misdirected–belief that mentally ill people are different. And that begets fear. I am very excited that  HealthyPlace.com began their Stand Up For Mental Health Campaign this week. This award winning website wants to break the stigma by having people join together and speak out about their problems! I say, let's do it! If we do it, other people will feel less alone and isolated. And I think that heals better than anything. Help us spread  the word. Go here to put a button on your website like mine below.

Dear Fear, You are not dear, Fear. I am not sorry to say that this relationship is over! I have panicked enough! And I am done with you. Done. Done. Done. Done. I am tired of you, anxiety. I will no longer let you stop me from being who I can be. Hold me back from my full potential. No more will I allow myself to listen to your lies, anxiety, telling me that I can't handle life, that I have to stay home, seclude myself, and miss out on the fun. I have had it with your warnings that "something bad will happen" or that "I would embarrass myself" or "it will be awful."

At one time or another many of our children experience anxiety, worry, fear, and/or nervousness. As parents we lament our children's suffering as it is our job to try to protect them. So when our children have anxiety-which is suffering-we panic. This, of course, is the worst thing to do. We are teaching them that their fear is something to fear. We must keep in mind that it is not fear that is the problem. Fear is biological and can be appropriate. (This fear can pass quickly.) When children experience anxiety, it is the fear of the fear that is the problem. In other words- it is the meaning we make around the fear that matter most to our mental state.

Anxiety has many tricks and tactics it relies on to confuses us into submission. It always gives me a run for my money. When I have conquered one tactic, it tries something new, always keeping me confused so I am not sure which way is up. Anxiety can be very convincing! In the heat of the moment, it leaves me wondering which thoughts in my head are my skills and knowledges and which are lies Anxiety tells me to get me under its spell. Has this ever happened to you?