Flexibility is a main ingredient in countering anxiety Anxiety usually wants us to think that we need something a certain way "or else."  (Not that it tells us what the unsavory consequences are: Anxiety is always vague, never clear. This is how it holds it's power.) So when things don't happen that certain way, darn it, that good-for-nothing Anxiety has us all up in arms. Tied in a knot. Fumbling and immobilized. Discombobulated.

‘Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.’ – Mark Twain The best selling book Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is a must read for anyone suffering with anxiety. Her pearls of wisdom are never ending, and she helps the reader build the confidence they need to act.

If someone is talking about suicide, he or she must still be alive. I take this fact as seriously as I take the desperation I hear behind thoughts about suicide. He or she is still alive. And I want to know why. Being alive means choosing to live, at least for now. The reasons people who contemplate suicide chose to keep living tells a story of what is most important to them.

Do you look to nature to ease your anxiety? If not, please try it! Forest Bathing Recently it has been all over the internet how Japanese scientists have discovered that the scent of trees, the sound of brooks, and the feel of sunshine have a calming effect. Japanese engage in an activity they call shinrin-yoku, "forest bathing." And we can all do this.

My anxiety shot through the roof when I became a parent. Everything seemed a little more important. I had a huge responsibility to keep this other human being safe and happy. Not just responsibility, but a strong desire to give him the world and never let him suffer.

Why is fear so powerful that it takes over even our rational mind? The answer to that is that survival is the most important consideration in evolutionary development. In an article in the December 14, 2007 Newsweek, entitled “The Roots of Fear,” Sharon Begley writes:

Anxiety feeds evasiveness, meaning anxiety has a way of shooting down the point to everything you want to do. We may want to do something but anxiety makes us see everything as an uncomfortable activity. In our imagination, it seems unpleasant, unenjoyable. We think and we say that we don't want to go. Anxiety makes us feel like there is no point. No point to trying because it is too uncomfortable, or no point because we won't succeed anyway.

I made up "Invalidation Anxiety" two weeks ago, as I wrote Too Anxious To Speak Up? And was fascinated how many people were sparked by my words and left a lively debate in the comment section. We seem to have all been in situations when people have ridiculed or downgraded us. Some readers were adamant that it is a must for our mental health that we should never allow anyone to be mean, take advantage, or criticize us without standing up for ourselves. I totally agree. But my definition of "allow" might be different!

Adults live with anxiety and fear everyday. Maybe not fear of dying, but fears that weigh us down and cause us to be tired. I'm not the only one who notices how tired we are collectively. Yesterday in a therapy session an eleven year old girl asked me if I was tired. Things have been extra busy around my house, I have been up late and up early. I said, "Yes." She said that whenever she asked a grown up if they are tired, they always say yes. This made me pause. All grown ups are tired? I could relate, I have noticed that, too. What are we doing to ourselves? Why are we all so tired?

"His Kindness Healed Me" As often happens, I was brought to tears last night during a therapy session. "When he asked me why I like him, I didn't know how to put it into words.  All I could say was, 'Your kindness healed me.'" She began to lament that she couldn't express her feelings. Her fear and self-doubt arose and she began to beat herself up at her lack of a good reply.