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Self-Care - Building Self Esteem

The habit of seeking approval from others can destroy your self-esteem. When people around you are concerned that you have low self-esteem or that you always harshly criticise yourself, they will want to point out all of your likable characteristics and virtues. These comments may come from a place of care and support and may be just what you need to snap out of negative self-talk. However, there is also a risk of relying on these self-esteem boosts from others in order to feel good about yourself. If you want to gain and maintain a stronger form of self-esteem, it’s vital to determine your own self-worth and to stop seeking approval from others.
Self-compassion and self-esteem both help us develop ourselves and create wellbeing. But some psychologists argue that we should focus on practicing self-compassion because it is superior to building self-esteem.1 Dr. Kristin Neff is a well-known proponent of this view. She believes that trying to raise your self-esteem can lead to major downsides, including narcissism, anger and resentment. But while it may be true that we could all benefit from self-compassion and should avoid these drawbacks, this doesn’t mean we should ignore self-esteem. It can still play a vital role in our wellbeing.
If you're struggling with confidence and anxiety, then feeling self-confident and safe in the world around you is hard. Your brain is stuck in a stress-response mode, making you feel overwhelmed and uneasy. Anxiety isn't a choice; it's due to your biology, your environment and past experiences in the world that trigger doubt or fear. The more we know about the science of anxiety or anxiety disorders and what contributes to our level of distress, the more confident we become in our ability to overcome it.
Mindful social media habits are important skills to learn to protect our self-esteem. Social media allows us to get a glimpse into the lives of so many people. Unfortunately, constant updates about people’s vacations, weddings, job offers, graduations and newborns don’t always fill us with joy. In fact, being inundated with everyone else’s highlight reel can damage our mental health. Many studies have shown a link between social media use and low self-esteem. For example, a study published this year found that one hour spent on Facebook is associated with a decrease in an individual’s self-esteem score, which authors say is influenced by the social comparisons that people engage in.1 But there are ways to integrate mindful social media use so that you can protect your self-esteem.
There are many self-care activities, yet during this stressful time of the year, we often forget about taking care of ourselves and put others first. But you see, accountability to other human beings depends on your ability to care for yourself. Your mental and physical health, relationships and lifestyle suffer if you don't practice self-care activities, especially during the holiday season when stress is high.
Do you wish you could take control of your inner critic, that voice in your head that constantly puts you down? It is the critical inner voice that says unkind things about you and paints a negative view of who you are. If you don't take control of this inner critic, it can become quite powerful and authoritative, which will make you pay more attention to it. This can end up damaging your self-esteem. But you can take control of the inner critic and find peace of mind.
Each day is an opportunity to change your self-esteem. If you struggle with negative self-talk, insecurity or believe that it's too late to build self-esteem you are wrong. You deserve to feel confident and happy with your life. Others may have told you that low self-esteem is impossible to change, but that is not the case at all. In fact, small shifts can lead to tremendous gains in self-esteem and I have several ways you can change your self-esteem starting today.
Are you feeling overwhelmed and need to take control of your life? If you're not careful, stress and anxiety can take over your life. I often find myself with to-do lists that are far too long, anxiety that is far too high and little-to-no motivation. Sound familiar? I was sick and tired of feeling this way, and I bet you are too, so I made some small changes that allowed me to feel in control of my life and stop feeling overwhelmed.
In order to have healthy self-esteem, it's important to be kind to yourself. Many of us neglect our emotional self-care. It's easier to be nice to others rather than ourselves sometimes. This doesn't have to be a time-consuming assignment. You can be nice to yourself in small increments each day. Being kind to yourself is self-care, and it improves you overall self-esteem and mood.
Self-care is important for your physical health as well as your mind, soul and, let's face it, your overall health. Without self-care, your relationships with others can suffer tremendously. Last week's blog explained how you can practice self-care on a budget, which is important. But true self-care doesn't have to cost a dime!