BirthQuake: Journey to Wholeness Table of Contents

"BirthQuake is one of those rare audiobooks read and written by a Psychotherapist that not only enlightens, inspires and comforts; it befriends and embraces the reader. It is the culmination of the author's many years of research, clinical experience and perhaps most importantly her own critical life lessons. Here is a book for anyone who has ever struggled or stands anxiously at a crossroad."

 

We invite you to read the following chapters:

or some excerpts of Birthquake here:

Birthquake: Journey to Wholeness

Read excerpts of an interview with Dru Hamilton at Book Talk about BirthQuake: The Journey to Wholeness.

Read an article by Sara Barnes, LISW-CP, entitled "Turn, Turn, Turn" that addresses the quakes in our lives and how they might serve to place us on a transformative path.

Listen to an interview with Tammie Fowles and Deborah Harper founder of Psychjourney.com who talks about her own BirthQuake process. MP3 File


 


REVIEW:"EXTRAORDINARY! I began this book with trepidation believing it would be another salve for the wounded spirit which might touch a little insight here and there, but basically result in little or no real help. I was wrong! There are so many books which boast help for those going through a divorce, the emotional upheaval after the loss of parents, the victims of crimes, the disenchanted, the depressed, the loveless, and the dispirited. Birthquake is a working book which guides you through your crisis, whether you are coming out, going in, or just living the results of the crisis.

Well documented with the research and work of the most notable psychologists, Fowles applies her science to life experience (her own and others'). The result is help of the most useful kind in dealing with change, whether it is change we have chosen or change that was forced upon us.

Easy to follow, Fowles' voice lends itself well to tape, there are no distractions, the occasional male voice is welcome and tonally pleasant requiring no change in volume. I found the four tapes easy to break into sessions and would highly recommend the book to a study group or to almost any individual." (Gale Marrs, "Audiobook Review)

REVIEW: "BirthQuake by Tammie Fowles is the most satisfying reading I have yet seen in the field of psychotherapy. When you think of BirthQuake, think of an earthquake. Dr. Fowles uses the term to describe what happens to people when they come face to face with what they believe is unfaceable. The anecdote in the book will bring tears of joy, grief, and spiritual confirmation to your eyes. " (Earl H. Roberts, TaleWins)

REVIEW:"The author of this fascinating new book suggests that the stresses and contradictions of our culture have brought us individually and collectively to a turning point. From her own experiences and those of others, Tammie Fowles creates a roadmap for understanding both our personal crises and their significance. She shows how they can become catalysts to infuse our lives and perhaps, our culture, with meaning and wholeness." (Greensense)

REVIEW: "As I experience my own BirthQuake, listening to the Birthquake tapes made me feel comforted. I found them inspirational and fascinating and have listened to them several times. The tapes are helping me realize that it only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change my life; that I am writing my life story with every single day. Through the insights offered on the tapes, I am beginning to believe that my life is built upon layers of everyday accomplishments. By believing this, setting goals and taking small risks is becoming nothing more than a daily striving to make my life better. The BirthQuake series is helping me to do that. I highly recommend them - they should be required listening for every baby boomer!" (Cindy Widdoss, Columbia)

next: THE QUAKE Chapter One

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). BirthQuake: Journey to Wholeness Table of Contents, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/sageplace/birthquake-journey-to-wholeness

Last Updated: November 22, 2016

Lemon Balm for Depression

Overview of lemon balm, a herbal remedy for depression and whether lemon balm works in treating depression.

Overview of lemon balm, a herbal remedy for depression and whether lemon balm works in treating depression.

What is Lemon Balm?

Lemon balm (Latin name: Melissa officinalis) is a type of mint. Its leaves have traditionally been used as a herbal remedy, including for depression and anxiety.

How does it work?

This is not known.

Is lemon balm effective for depression?

There is no scientific evidence on whether lemon balm works for depression.

Are there any disadvantages?

None known.

Where do you get it?

Dried leaves are available at health food shops and can be made into a tea, or it can be bought in a ready-made tea form.

Recommendation

Given the lack of scientific evidence, lemon balm cannot currently be recommended for depression.

 


 


back to: Alternative Treatments for Depression

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). Lemon Balm for Depression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/depression-alternative/lemon-balm-for-depression

Last Updated: July 11, 2016

On Change

A short essay on "changing your life" and what it takes to make significant changes in your life.

Life Letters

To an unknown woman,

You approached me after the BirthQuake workshop, teary eyed, tentative, afraid it seemed to bother me. I smiled at you reassuringly, leaning forward, towards you.

You shared with me that you had decided to change your life. You pronounced this with such certainty. Your body seemed electric, charged with enthusiasm, plans for your future already underway.

Just when I was about to ask you gently what is it you were planning to change, we were interrupted. When I turned back to face you, you were gone...

I thought about you - think about you actually - from time-to-time. I wonder what has become of your energy, your vision, and your resolve. What did you change, if anything?

I understand what it feels like to be inspired to follow your dreams, to embrace some neglected aspect of yourself, to choose to follow a new path. It has been during those crystal clear moments in my own life that I have felt the most alive.

All too often, unfortunately, within a relatively short period of time, enthusiasm gives way to uncertainty, self-confidence surrenders to self-doubt, and my mission recedes beneath the wave of my realities.

Significant change is seldom as spontaneous as the initial insight that inspires it. Yet, without those precious moments of clarity, the journey seldom begins.

I wish you were here with me right now. I would love to know what became of that radiant young woman who literally glowed with possibility. Did she follow her vision, and if so, where has it lead her? Did she get sidetracked along the way? I wonder....


continue story below

Wherever you are now, I send you my blessings. If you have arrived at that mysterious destination that you only hinted at long ago, then my sincerest congratulations. If you are resting somewhere along the way, know that there is often wisdom in respite - we can learn from the resting places too. If you are feeling lost out on the road, I want to send out the best beacon that I am aware of - hope. As long as you search in earnest and with courage, you will eventually find your way out of any darkness.

If you haven't yet started out upon your longed for journey, then that's O.K., too. Ambitious travels require significant preparation. Give yourself time to get ready. Consult with others, search your own heart, acquire the skills that will be necessary for your successful navigation; and then my dear fellow traveler, just go! Godspeed!

Yours Truly, A Fellow Traveler...

next: Life Letters: On Failure...

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). On Change, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/sageplace/on-change

Last Updated: July 18, 2014

Subconscious Life Scripts

Self-Therapy For People Who ENJOY Learning About Themselves

WHAT IS A 'SCRIPT'?

A script is a SUBCONSCIOUS LIFE PLAN made by a small child. Once this plan is made, it influences the whole course of that person's life. I am going to be telling you about the usual way scripts work. But, since scripts are so extremely personal and unique, YOUR script may work quite differently. ake what you read here as an typical example of how these things work, not as a thorough discussion of the topic. Also, we will focus on a rather simplistic "bad" script which hurts the person throughout their life. There are also "good" scripts and even rather "neutral" scripts.

All Scripts, Even Good Ones, Impose Severe And Unnecessary Restrictions On Our Freedom. The best way to learn about "scripts" is probably to read Claude Steiner's book: "Scripts People Live."

"GARY"

Gary had a rather good childhood. His parents were OK. He had enough friends. here was no physical abuse, no alcoholism, nothing seriously wrong at his house. But one day, when he was seven years old, he played in an old abandoned refrigerator and nearly died of suffocation.

THE DETAILS

Years later he recalled the sequence of events this way:

  1. I was mad that my parents and my older sister were ignoring me.

  2. I was bored and needed something exciting to do.

  3. I decided to play with the refrigerator because I was mad. I had been warned to stay away from it.

  4. I propped the door open so I'd be safe, but then I accidentally bumped it and it closed on me.

  5. I didn't get scared until I started running out of air.

  6. I passed out.

  7. I don't know how I was rescued but I woke up in a hospital room and a pretty nurse was the first person I saw.


 


HIS DAY

Years Later, In Therapy, Gary Describes His Typical "Problem Days" This Way:

"If I get angry early in the day I just sort of sulk and do as little as possible. Then, after work, I look for some way to party even though I know it will cause problems. I always try to drink just a little, to stay safe, but eventually I just say 'the hell with it' and I drink some more. I don't really get scared until I get woozy and start running out of air. Then I'm afraid I'll actually die. The next day, the only thing that really bothers me is if my wife gets angry and ignores me."

HIS RELATIONSHIP HISTORY

Gary Says That His Last Three Relationships Went Like This:

"It's always exciting in the beginning but after a while I feel like she's ignoring me and I get mad. Then I usually do something stupid - like quit my job or something. It's no big deal though, I can always find another one. I don't really realize that the relationship is in trouble until my asthma starts to bother me while we are making love. That's when I start thinking about who the next woman in my life will be."

HIS LIFE STORY

If He Doesn't Change, Gary's "Life Story" Might Go Like This:

"In his teens and 20's, Gary was always grasping for attention and he would get extremely angry when he was ignored. In his 20's and 30's he partied a lot, used tobacco and alcohol and other drugs, but continually claimed it was no problem because he was doing it 'safely.' When he got sick from all this, his lungs gave out and he was often hospitalized. He just didn't snap out of it the last time."

If You Read Closely, You Noticed That ALL Seven Elements In Gary's "Refrigerator" Story Are Also Present IN SEQUENCE In His Day, In His Relationships, And In His "Life Story." This is how scripts work...

HOW SCRIPTS WORK: "REPETITION COMPULSIONS"

  1. Something traumatic, usually life-threatening, happens in childhood.

  2. When it is over, the child is shocked and extremely relieved that he survived.

  3. Since he's only a child, he can't understand WHY he survived.

  4. So, subconsciously, he assumes that he only survived because of the sequence of events that day!

  5. Then, as an adult, he repeats this sequence of events over and over and over - in order to continually prove to himself that he CAN survive. (This "repeating" is called his "repetition compulsion.")


WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Even if you've followed all this so far, it is unlikely that you will suddenly be able to see the "repetition compulsion" in your own life. This usually requires quite lengthy therapy. However, since I've gone this far I do want to tell you what we need to do once we do become aware of our own life pattern or "script."

WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS "SHUFFLE"!

In Gary's example: He will always have days when he's angry, he will always want excitement in his life, there will be days when his wife ignores him, and he will probably always feel some urges to do things that aren't good for him.

But The First Thing He Needs To Do Is To Stop These Things From Happening IN SEQUENCE!

In therapy, I put the seven elements of Gary's script on index cards. Then I "shuffled" them and worked with him until he realized that in real life he could actually do these same things in ANY order, not just this one. Once he realized this intellectually, he started to feel great freedom to make choices in ALL areas of his life.

WHY BOTHER TO LEARN ALL OF THIS?

We learn about our scripts so we can become FREE TO MAKE ADULT DECISIONS about what to do with our own lives! Even if you never learn your own subconscious script, you CAN identify some of the repetitious compulsions" in your own life. Remember: They are ENTIRELY OPTIONAL. AND READY FOR YOU TO START CHANGING TODAY!!



next: Taking Care of Yourself

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). Subconscious Life Scripts, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/inter-dependence/subconscious-life-scripts

Last Updated: March 29, 2016

Alternative Treatments for Autism

Parents of autistic children look outside traditional medicine to alternative treatments for autism and are finding success.

Parents of autistic children look outside traditional medicine to alternative treatments for autism, including diet, nutritional supplements, chelation therapy, interactive play, and bodywork.

Nicky's daycare teacher Elise brought it to Kara's attention first. "Your son's not really interacting with the other kids," she told her. Every day when he comes in, two-and-a-half-year-old Nicky must walk a particular path in the exact same way before he can acknowledge anyone in the room, Elise said. He carefully lines up all his toys, always in the same manner, but he never plays with them. He doesn't look at anyone else, but even the slightest noise or a gentle touch can immediately cause him to scream in terror. Doctors soon confirmed what Elise and Kara expected: Nicky was autistic. Their recommendations: speech and occupational therapy, but beyond that, they cautioned, there wasn't much anyone could do.

Kara immediately began learning all she could about autism and discovered that there were, indeed, plenty of avenues to explore and approaches to try. They ran the gamut from changing Nicky's diet to using behavioral modification techniques, from giving him weekly massages and high doses of vitamins to introducing him to martial arts."What I did discover," Kara said, "was that not every therapy works for every kid. And a combination seems to work the best."

More than one disorder

The problem, of course, is that autism isn't any one thing, nor does everyone exhibit the same characteristics of the condition. First discovered in 1943 by Leo Kanner, a physician at Johns Hopkins Hospital, autism is a developmental disability that typically manifests within the first three years of a child's life. Four times more likely to affect boys than girls, autism's symptoms include the inability to communicate with and relate to people, unusual or very limited interests, severe gastrointestinal problems, and hypersensitivity to any of the senses. Sometimes autistic children will also exhibit self-destructive behavior.

Around the same time that Kanner discovered autism, a German scientist, Dr. Hans Asperger, identified what he called an "autistic" condition, which later became known as "Asperger's syndrome." People with Asperger's tend to be highly intelligent and very verbal—the opposite of those with "classic autism" who are often nonverbal and socially isolated—and may have a compulsive interest in, and encyclopedic knowledge about, a specific topic or special interest.


 


Today both conditions are classified as Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), a header that includes Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or atypical autism, Rett Syndrome, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder (CDD), and some say Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD) as well.

And the cause is?

Parents of autistic children look outside traditional medicine to alternative treatments for autism and are finding success.Although the cause or causes of autism remain elusive, we do know what autism is not. It is not a mental illness nor is it a behavioral problem of unruly kids, and it does not have a clear-cut, direct genetic link.

In 1964, Bernard Rimland, a psychologist and father of a son with autism, wrote a book, Infantile Autism: The Syndrome and Its Implications for a Neural Theory of Behavior, in which he argued that the condition has a neurological basis. Rimland's thesis almost single-handedly convinced the psychiatric community that autism was a biological—not an emotional—disorder and that viewpoint continues today.

For decades, autism was considered very rare, with only one to three autism births per 10,000. But by the late 1990s, something happened. Autism cases skyrocketed to between 20 and 40 births per 10,000 and are now estimated at between 60 and 80 cases per 10,000 (1 in 166 children) in some states. In the 1990s, while the US population increased 13 percent, autism cases increased 172 percent, according to the Autism Society of America. Some experts claim that this rise in "reported" cases simply means better diagnostic tools and more responsible recording methods.

But others, among them some autism advocacy groups, lawmakers, and healthcare practitioners, suggest that the epidemic is real. And they attribute it to exposure to toxic chemicals and viral infections, problems during pregnancy or delivery, repeated use of antibiotics, particularly in the first year of life, trauma, and a possible link to the heavy metals (such as mercury) found in vaccines. Some statistics suggest that a high percentage of autistic children are born to mothers with Rh-negative blood. Researchers speculate that this may be because the mothers typically receive RhoGAM shots throughout their pregnancy to reduce complications and these shots, up until 1991, contained high doses of mercury.

Is there a cure for autism?

Conventional medicine will say no. Mothers like Krista Vance will tell you otherwise. Her son Jamie, in his first year of life "was walking, had wonderful words, and was very agile and coordinated." A traumatic illness and many invasive procedures later, "Jamie had slipped away from us, falling into a place called autism," she says. Several years later doctors and Jamie's parents have pronounced him cured. While scientists struggle to identify the cause and announce a cure, Jamie and Nicky's families have found more innovative approaches like diet, nutritional supplements, chelation therapy, interactive play, and bodywork to be helpful treatments—often with amazing results. Before embarking on any treatment journey, most parents put their team in place; that is, they found doctors, homeopaths, massage therapists, nutritionists, aides—any advocates whose advice they could trust and who encouraged them to actively contribute to their children's healing.

Kara and Krista offer this advice for other parents of autistic children: Connect with families who are on a similar journey, and never give up. Find healthcare practitioners who specialize in alternative approaches, such as doctors from Defeat Autism Now! (DAN!). And remember that each child is unique, what works for one may agitate another, and just because an option doesn't work right now doesn't mean it won't later on. But most important, learn to trust your intuition. While doctors and researchers can offer invaluable advice based on studies and scientific evidence, you may not have time to wait for the results of such studies when your child is in need. In the meantime, by trial and error (and keeping copious notes on your child's progress and setbacks), you may discover things that help him and other things that make his symptoms worse. In the case of autism, mothers (and fathers) often know best.


Let's all join in

Early on, when Krista searched for how to help Jamie, she learned that only one person had ever been "cured" of autism, Raun Kaufman, who received a diagnosis of severe autism at 18 months old and graduated from Brown University 18 years later. The doctors told his parents, Barry and Samahria, that he would never speak, never read, and never be able to care for himself. He spent much of his time flapping his hands and twirling plates, and was unable to make eye contact or communicate in any way. The only solution, the doctors said, was to institutionalize him. The Kaufmans chose instead to get to know him, to gain his trust by entering his world since he couldn't function in theirs. They spent as many as 12 hours a day, seven days a week, sitting with him in a bathroom free of outside distractions, twirling plates if he twirled plates, spinning in circles right along with him, or flapping their hands in unison with his. They never looked at his condition as a tragedy; they only saw this amazing little boy, as Raun wrote years later, "touching the sky in a world of his own creation." By the time Raun turned 5, all signs of autism had vanished.

Today Raun helps his parents and sister run The Son-Rise Program, which offers training programs for parents and professionals who want to learn how to reach their own autistic children. The basic premise of this program—and others like it—is that you must lead the children out of their isolation by first meeting them where they're most comfortable. Once you gain their attention and, most important, their trust, you can begin to work with them on the skills they need to function in the world. To get more information, check out their website at autismtreatmentcenter.org. Krista cautions that the Son-Rise method is time- and emotion-intensive and requires a community approach to treatment.

Repair and renew

According to Sidney Baker, MD, a cofounder of DAN!, the first order of business is to "clean up the gut." So many autistic children suffer from food allergies, overgrowth of intestinal yeast, leaky gut syndrome, and sensitivity to sugar and dairy, that if your plan doesn't address digestive issues, Baker says, "the rest of the healing effort will be more complicated and less effective." Your child may need a radical diet adjustment and a round of prescription antifungals to get rid of yeast overgrowth, which can be immensely effective. Be forewarned, though: Any time you start to kill off bacteria in the gut, your child may experience "die-off" symptoms, which means thins can worse before they improve.


 


Changing any child's diet to wheat-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free requires patience, but for autistic children who can be very strong-willed, it can be a nightmare. It helps if the whole family makes a commitment to eat the same diet. Get advice from other parents and consult diet books, websites, and nutritionists. Read the article on celiac disease on page 74 to find out more information on wheat- and gluten-free choices.

Supplement their diet

Lewis Mehl-Madrona, MD, PhD, author and associate professor at the University of Saskatchewan College of Medicine in Saskatoon, Canada, recommends vitamin therapy to control inflammation, possibly caused by viral infections, vaccine responses, leaky gut, a lack of digestive enzymes, and the inability to metabolize fatty acids. To counter such inflammation, he uses antioxidants like vitamins C, A, and E and essential fatty acids such as evening primrose oil, fish oil, and flaxseed oil. Research also suggests that autistic children may have a methyl-B12 deficiency, so many parents have opted to give that supplement through injections.

Get the mercury out

Parents of 324 children with autism who responded to the Autism Research Institute's survey reported that 76 percent of children improved after detoxification of heavy metals, making that procedure (called chelation therapy) a critical step in treating autism. Chelation therapy removes heavy metals that are toxic to the nervous system, such as mercury, lead, aluminum, and arsenic, from the body.

Krista credits chelation therapy and cleaning up Jamie's intestines with a 90 percent improvement in her son's symptoms. She worked with Terry Grossman, MD, a physician in Boulder, Colorado, who is an expert in chelation. Chelation therapy takes patience, though. "It usually takes about four to 12 months to remove significant amounts of toxins and to see strong improvement," Grossman cautions.

Trial and error

Therapies abound—both new ones and the tried-and-trues—to treat autism and they can be daunting and confusing. Keep accurate records of everything you try, including the frequency and dosage and your child's response (any changes in sleep patterns, eating, behavior, speech, and physical symptoms), and communicate directly and often with members of your "team." Choose doctors and healers who aren't afraid to try new approaches, and don't be shy about asking for help. Most of all, don't lose sight of the fact that your child is a precious individual with his own story to tell and his own gifts to share.

Other therapies that help

A variety of other modalities, either alone or in combination, can help children with autism-spectrum disorders.

Massage therapy reduces anxiety and stress hormones. In one study, parents of children with autism aged 3 to 6 massaged their kids for 15 minutes before bedtime for a month, after being trained by a massage therapist. The massaged kids performed more "on-task" at school and had better social interactions with their peers and fewer sleep problems than those who didn't get massages. Craniosacral therapy has also proven beneficial.

Homeopathy has been used successfully in treating sleep disorders as well as speech challenges. Because treatments are individualized, work with a homeopath skilled in treating autism who can recommend the most advantageous remedies.

Sound therapy (Samonas) is a technique that uses sound vibration to stimulate the brain. This type of therapeutic listening, developed by Ingo Steinbach, a German engineer, appears to enhance a child's ability to focus, improve speech, and help with socialization skills.

Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA) appears to work well, especially for children who have Asperger's syndrome. ABA is a set of behavioral modification techniques developed in the 1960s by Ivar Lovaas at UCLA. ABA's focus is to teach children how to learn in the real world by breaking down tasks into very simple steps. Even the tiniest success elicits a reward. Slowly, as the child succeeds in each task, the therapist weans him from the rewards. The downside is that ABA is time-intensive and very expensive.

Source: Alternative Medicine

next: Enzyme Therapy for Autism

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). Alternative Treatments for Autism, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/autism-alternative/alternative-treatments-for-autism

Last Updated: July 11, 2016

Your Inner Guide to Self-Esteem

Chapter 85 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan

SELF-ESTEEM HAS BEEN a hot topic for years. And for a good reason: Low self-esteem is a source of trouble — bad marriages, social isolation, violence, lack of success, depression, conflict in the workplace, etc. Low self-esteem causes problems.

The obvious solution is to try to improve people's self-esteem by pointing out their good traits. Psychologists told us we could give our children high self-esteem by complimenting and praising them often. And they said you could protect yourself by making an effort to think well of yourself say good things to yourself, repeat affirmations, acknowledge your good traits, etc.

Recent research at Wake Forest University might be turning that popular philosophy completely upside down. The funny thing is, when all the smoke has cleared, what we have left bears a remarkable resemblance to simple common sense.

According to the research, self-esteem appears to be an internal guide to how well we're doing socially, somewhat like our internal guide to the temperature.

When you feel hot, you take off some clothing or open a window. When you feel cold, you bundle up. Although you might be able to repeat to yourself over and over "I feel warm, I feel warm," there are better things to do with your time. Might as well just put on a sweater and get on with it. It's useful to have an internal guide — a feeling — that lets you know what's happening in the world around you, and gives you some motivation to do something about it.

Apparently, that's exactly what self-esteem is.

The feeling of low self-esteem is apparently nothing more than an indication you aren't getting enough positive feedback from other people. You may not be getting rejected or criticized, but to really feel good about ourselves, we need something more than that. We need acknowledgment, compliments, appreciation. We need people to notice us and like us.

This is where it gets tricky. As a parent, you might want to improve your child's self-esteem by giving him lots of compliments. But watch out. If you exaggerate your acknowledgments or if you sometimes make a big deal out of a small thing or resort to puffery, you may be setting your child's internal gauge "off the beam." You've set his social-status meter too high, and it no longer measures the situation accurately. Your child then grows up and goes out into the world and has difficulty dealing with people.

 


Some new research at Northeastern University showed that people who think well of themselves regardless of how others feel about them tend to be perceived by others as condescending and hostile.

Given this new information, a different approach to creating self-esteem seems in order: Giving honest and accurate feedback to our children, our spouses, and our employees. It's relatively easy to compliment and praise people. It makes them feel good, and it makes us feel good to make them feel good. It's more difficult to find something you genuinely appreciate and to say it without the slightest bit of puffery, but it just might do more good.

We can also help people do better. Of course! If someone is getting along well with her peers and she's succeeding at something — trumpet, hobby, schoolwork, job, athletics — it will improve her self-esteem. So find a way to help her accomplish something. When people do well, they tend to feel better about themselves.

When you want to build your own self-esteem, it appears your best bet is to change your behavior. Do your tasks well and treat people well and you'll feel good about yourself. Don't worry so much about how you think about yourself. Change what you do to make yourself more appreciated by the people around you. Increase your value to other people and to the company you work for. Watch the reactions of other people. Pay attention to the reality outside your skin. Do more of what works. Do less of what doesn't get the response you want. Your self-esteem, your internal "sociometer" will rise as an accurate reflection of your true abilities and where you stand with the people in your life.

To improve the self-esteem of others:
Give unexaggerated feedback
and help them gain ability.

To improve your own self-esteem:
Change what you do to make yourself more appreciated by the people around you.

What does self-esteem have to do with depression? How does
it show up? What can you do to prevent future depression in
your children? Find out here:
Mastery

For a one-step technique on becoming socially
fearless, try this out:
Refuse to Flinch

An extremely important thing to keep in mind is that judging
people will harm you. Learn here how to prevent yourself from
making this all-too-human mistake:
Here Comes the Judge

Dale Carnegie, who wrote the famous book How to Win Friends and Influence People, left a chapter out of his book. Find out what he meant to say but didn't about people you cannot win over:
The Bad Apples

The art of controlling the meanings you're making is an important
skill to master. It will literally determine the quality of your life.
Read more about it in:
Master the Art of Making Meaning

Here's a profound and life-changing way to gain the
respect and the trust of others:
As Good As Gold

What if you already knew you ought to change and in what way?
And what if that insight has made no difference so far?
Here's how to make your insights make a difference:
From Hope to Change

next: Complaint Compunctio

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). Your Inner Guide to Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/self-help-stuff-that-works/khan-yourinnerguidetoselfesteem

Last Updated: March 31, 2016

You Can Change

Chapter 11 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan

STANLEY SCHACHTER WAS PUZZLED. A researcher at Columbia University, Schachter was well versed on the studies of weight-loss and smoking-cessation programs. According to the research, only 10 to 30 percent of the people who participate in those programs are still slender or nonsmoking one year later. Ten to 30 percent. That isn't much.

These studies prompted some researchers and therapists to assert it's nearly impossible to stop smoking or control one's weight permanently.

What puzzled Schachter was that most of the people he knew who wanted to lose weight or quit smoking had somehow been able to do it successfully. He conducted some interviews of his colleagues and friends, and it confirmed his hunch: Those who had tried had succeeded.

He has now spent over twenty years doing research on this, and he has concluded that the key to success in changing long-standing habits is practice. According to his research, people who have successfully quit smoking have tried and failed a number of times before they finally succeeded. The same was true about losing weight. Apparently you have to learn how to keep the change, and after you learn how, it begins to become a new part of yourself that eventually requires very little active effort to maintain.

That's why the studies of weight-loss programs and stop-smoking studies look so bleak: Each is a study of only a single attempt. Schachter found that the more times you go through one of these programs, the more likely the change will be permanent.

So if you have tried to change and failed, try again. And keep trying. You can change...and you can learn how to keep the change. All you need is practice.

Keep persisting until the change you want happens.

For more information, check out our section on:
Making Changes Stick

Do you want to be strong? Would you like to remove a good portion of fear, shyness, and awkwardness from your life? Check out the chapter called:
Refuse to Flinch

 


Trying to get rid of negative thoughts? Think again! Learn how to do it here:
Think Positively Positively

An extremely important thing to keep in mind is that judging people will harm you. Learn here how to prevent yourself from making this all-too-human mistake:
Here Comes the Judge

The art of controlling the meanings you're making is an important skill to master. It will literally determine the quality of your life. Read more about it in:
Master the Art of Making Meaning

Here's a profound and life-changing way to gain the respect and the trust of others:
As Good As Gold

What if you already knew you ought to change and in what way? And what if that insight has made no difference so far? Here's how to make your insights make a difference:
From Hope to Change

next: The Neutralizer

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). You Can Change, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/self-help-stuff-that-works/you-can-change

Last Updated: March 30, 2016

The Uncertainty Principle

Chapter 17 of the book Self-Help Stuff That Works

by Adam Khan

TWO SAILORS RAN INTO each other in a pub. Over a few beers, one of the men told the other about his last voyage: "After a month at sea," he said, "we discovered our masts had been eaten through by termites! Almost nothing left of them."

"That's terrible," said the second sailor.

"That's what I thought at first too," the first sailor said, "but it turned out to be good luck. As soon as we took the sails down to fix the masts, we were hit by a squall so suddenly and so hard, it would surely have blown us over if our sails were up at the time."

"How lucky!"

"That's exactly what I thought at the time too. But because our sails were down, we couldn't steer ourselves, and because of the wind, we were blown onto a reef. The hole in the hull was too big to fix. We were stranded."

"That is bad luck indeed."

"That's what I thought, too, when it first happened. But we all made it to the beach alive and had plenty to eat. But now here's the real kicker: While we were on the island whining about our terrible fate, we discovered a buried treasure!"

As this story illustrates, you don't know if an event is "good" or "bad" except maybe in retrospect, and even then you don't really know because life keeps going. The story's not over yet. Just because something hasn't turned out to be an advantage yet doesn't mean it is not ever going to.

Therefore, you can simply assume whatever happens is "good."

I know that sounds awfully airy-fairy, but it's very practical. If you think an event is good, it's easy to maintain a positive attitude. And your attitude affects your health, it affects the way people treat you and how you treat others, and it affects your energy level. And those can help pave the way for things to turn out well. A good attitude is a good thing. And a bad attitude does you no good at all.


 


So get in the habit of saying "That's good!" Since you don't know for sure whether something will eventually work to your advantage or not, you might as well assume it will. It is counterproductive to assume otherwise. Think about it.

If someone ahead of you in line at a store is slowing everything down, say to yourself, "That's good!" They may have saved you from getting into an accident when you get back in your car. Or maybe because you slowed down, you might meet a friend you would have missed. You never know.

The truth is, life is uncertain. And even that can work to your advantage.

When something "bad" happens, say to yourself, "That's good!"

There are no circumstances, no matter how unfortunate, that clever people do not extract some advantage from; and none, no matter how fortunate, that the unwise cannot turn to their own disadvantage.
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A pessimist is one who makes difficulties
of his opportunities; an optimist makes
opportunities of his difficulties.
- Reginald B. Mansell

If worry is a problem for you, or even if you would like to simply worry less even though you don't worry that much, you might like to read this:
 The Ocelot Blues

Here's a conversational chapter on optimism from a future book:
Conversation on Optimism

Learn how to prevent yourself from falling into the common traps we are all prone to because of the structure of the human brain:
 Thoughtical Illusions

next: Unpleasant Feelings

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). The Uncertainty Principle, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/self-help-stuff-that-works/uncertainty-principle

Last Updated: March 31, 2016

The Four Questions

There are three questions that I hear repeatedly in my work as a therapist: Who (or what) am I? Do I have any value? Why doesn't anybody see or hear me? Sometimes there is a fourth question: Why should I live? These are not intellectual questions to be discussed with a glass of wine over dinner; they are deadly serious and come directly from the heart, and they reflect a primordial experience of the world separate from problem solving and reason.

Usually it is not the questions themselves that bring people to my office, at least not directly. Typically a relationship has failed or is failing, a job has been lost, an illness has occurred, or something has happened in the person's life that has dramatically reduced their sense of agency. Instead of resilience and conviction, the person is surprised to find a bottomless pit. Suddenly, the person experiences the terror and helplessness of freefall, and they make the telephone call. It only takes a session or two, however, to find there are two problems: the current situation and what the situation has uncovered.

Where do these questions come from? Why are some people terrorized by the four questions their whole life, while others don't even notice their existence? And why are they so cleverly disguised in many people's lives - only to suddenly emerge as all-encompassing and sometimes life-threatening ruminations? It is currently fashionable to posit a purely biological explanation for behavior that we can't explain (just as, in past decades, it was fashionable to posit a purely familial explanation): the four questions are really cognitive manifestations of a neurotransmitter imbalance (too little synaptic serotonin), or reflective of a broader genetic problem. There is truth to both of these answers but they are incomplete. Biology certainly plays a role, but biology and life experience interact - each one affecting the other.

In fact, the four questions exist for good reason, and they make perfect sense--if you understand the ancient language of subtext. What is subtext: it is omnipresent between-the-lines communication, the hidden messages of all human interaction. But what a strange, wondrous, and slippery language subtext is. Subtext is wordless, yet it is the language of dreams and great literature. It is the language mastered by infants and then slowly replaced by logic and reason. It is a language where the same words can mean a thousand different things depending on context. It is a language that eludes social scientists because it is so difficult to measure. And, ironically, it is the only language I know where a likely outcome of comprehension is loneliness and alienation - because it is compelling, and yet so few people understand it.


 


Why do the four questions emerge after trauma or loss? Because in the subtext of the parent-child relationship, these questions were never adequately answered. Or if they were answered, the message was: you don't exist for me, you have always been a burden, or you exist for limited reasons having to do with my own psychological needs. Lacking satisfactory answers, the person can spend their whole life erecting props - ways they can validate their very existence. They do this through relationships, career success, self-aggrandizement, obsessive or controlling behavior, drug or alcohol use, or other ways (I will talk about all of these in later articles). Loss or trauma causes the props to fall, and instead of tumbling to a sturdy stone foundation ("I had a bad time or bad luck, but I'm basically O.K."), people slide into a vortex of terror, shame, and worthlessness.

Parents who provide their children inadequate answers to the four questions are not evil. Usually, they are struggling with the same questions themselves: who they are, what value do they have, how can they get people (including their own children) to see and hear them--and sometimes should they live or not. Without definitive, fundamental answers, parents lack the emotional resources to answer the questions for their own children. The intergenerational cycle continues until finally someone gets help.

Psychotherapy provides answers to the four questions. Therapy is not, however, an intellectual process. A therapist gently uncovers the vulnerable self, nurtures and values it, allows it to grow free of shame and guilt, and provides comfort, security, and an attachment. Just as in the parent-child relationship, the subtext of the therapist-client relationship is critical: it must be loving.

About the author: Dr. Grossman is a clinical psychologist and author of the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival web site.

next: Six Questions about Voice and Voicelessness

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). The Four Questions, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/self-help/essays-on-psychology-and-life/four-questions

Last Updated: July 14, 2016

Amaryl Diabetes Type 2 Treatment - Amaryl Patient Information

Brand names: Amaryl
Generic name: Glimepiride

Amaryl, Glimepiride, Full Prescribing Information

What is Amaryl and why is Amaryl prescribed?

Amaryl is an oral medication used to treat type 2 (non-insulin-dependent) diabetes when diet and exercise alone fail to control abnormally high levels of blood sugar. Like other diabetes drugs classified as sulfonylureas, Amaryl lowers blood sugar by stimulating the pancreas to produce more insulin. Amaryl is often prescribed along with the insulin-boosting drug Glucophage. It may also be used in conjunction with insulin and other diabetes drugs.

Most important fact about Amaryl

Always remember that Amaryl is an aid to, not a substitute for, good diet and exercise. Failure to follow a sound diet and exercise plan may diminish the results of Amaryl and can lead to serious complications such as dangerously high or low blood sugar levels. Remember, too, that Amaryl is not an oral form of insulin, and cannot be used in place of insulin.

How should you take Amaryl?

Do not take more or less of Amaryl than directed by your doctor. Amaryl should be taken with breakfast or the first main meal.

  • If you miss a dose...
    Take it as soon as you remember. If it is almost time for the next dose, skip the one you missed and go back to your regular schedule. Do not take 2 doses at the same time.
  • Storage instructions...
    Amaryl should be stored at room temperature in a well-closed container.

What side effects may occur?

Side effects cannot be anticipated. If any develop or change in intensity, tell your doctor as soon as possible. Only your doctor can determine if it is safe for you to continue taking Amaryl.

  • Side effects may include:
    Anemia and other blood disorders, blurred vision, diarrhea, dizziness, headache, itching, liver problems and jaundice, muscle weakness, nausea, sensitivity to light, skin rash and eruptions, stomach and intestinal pain, vomiting

Amaryl, like all oral antidiabetics, can result in hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). The risk of hypoglycemia can be increased by missed meals, alcohol, fever, injury, infection, surgery, excessive exercise, and the addition of other medications such as Glucophage or insulin. To avoid hypoglycemia, closely follow the dietary and exercise regimen suggested by your doctor.

  • Symptoms of mild low blood sugar may include:
    Blurred vision, cold sweats, dizziness, fast heartbeat, fatigue, headache, hunger, light-headedness, nausea, nervousness
  • Symptoms of more severe low blood sugar may include:
    Coma, disorientation, pale skin, seizures, shallow breathing

Ask your doctor what steps you should take if you experience mild hypoglycemia. If symptoms of severe low blood sugar occur, contact your doctor immediately; severe hypoglycemia is a medical emergency.


continue story below


Why should Amaryl not be prescribed?

Avoid Amaryl if you have ever had an allergic reaction to it.

Do not take Amaryl to correct diabetic ketoacidosis (a life-threatening medical emergency caused by insufficient insulin and marked by excessive thirst, nausea, fatigue, and fruity breath). This condition should be treated with insulin.

Special warnings about Amaryl

It's possible that drugs such as Amaryl may lead to more heart problems than diet treatment alone, or treatment with diet and insulin. If you have a heart condition, you may want to discuss this with your doctor.

When taking Amaryl, you should check your blood and urine regularly for abnormally high sugar (glucose) levels. The effectiveness of any oral antidiabetic, including Amaryl, may decrease with time. This may occur because of either a diminished responsiveness to the medication or a worsening of the diabetes.

Even people with well-controlled diabetes may find that stress such as injury, infection, surgery, or fever triggers a loss of control. If this happens, your doctor may recommend that you add insulin to your treatment with Amaryl or that you temporarily stop taking Amaryl and use insulin instead.

Possible food and drug interactions when taking Amaryl

If Amaryl is taken with certain other drugs, the effects of either could be increased, decreased, or altered. It is especially important to check with your doctor before combining Amaryl with the following:

  • Airway-opening drugs such as albuterol sulfate
  • Aspirin and other salicylate medications
  • Chloramphenicol
  • Corticosteroids such as prednisone
  • Diuretics such as hydrochlorothiazide and chlorothiazide
  • Estrogens such as conjugated estrogens
  • Heart and blood pressure medications called beta blockers, including atenolol, metoprolol tartrate, and propranolol hydrochloride
  • Isoniazid
  • Major tranquilizers such as thioridazine hydrochloride
  • MAO inhibitors (antidepressants such as phenelzine sulfate and tranylcypromine sulfate)
  • Miconazole
  • Nicotinic acid
  • Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs such as diclofenac sodium, ibuprofen, mefenamic acid, and naproxen
  • Oral contraceptives
  • Phenytoin
  • Probenecid
  • Sulfa drugs such as sulfamethoxazole and trimethoprim
  • Thyroid medications such as levothyroxine
  • Warfarin
  • Use alcohol with care; excessive alcohol intake can cause low blood sugar.

Special information if you are pregnant or breastfeeding

Do not take Amaryl while pregnant. Since studies suggest the importance of maintaining normal blood sugar levels during pregnancy, your doctor may prescribe injected insulin instead. Drugs similar to Amaryl do appear in breast milk and may cause low blood sugar in nursing infants. You should not take Amaryl while nursing. If diet alone does not control your sugar levels, your doctor may prescribe injected insulin.

Recommended dosage for Amaryl

ADULTS

The usual starting dose is 1 to 2 milligrams taken once daily with breakfast or the first main meal. The maximum starting dose is 2 milligrams.

If necessary, your doctor will gradually increase the dose 1 or 2 milligrams at a time every 1 or 2 weeks. Your diabetes will probably be controlled on 1 to 4 milligrams a day; the most you should take in a day is 8 milligrams. If the maximum dose fails to do the job, your doctor may add Glucophage to your regimen.

Weakened or malnourished people and those with adrenal, pituitary, kidney, or liver disorders are particularly sensitive to hypoglycemic drugs such as Amaryl and should start at 1 milligram once daily. Your doctor will increase your medication based on your response to the drug.

CHILDREN

Safety and effectiveness in children have not been established.

Overdosage

An overdose of Amaryl can cause low blood sugar (see "What side effects may occur?" for symptoms).

Eating sugar or a sugar-based product will often correct mild hypoglycemia. For severe hypoglycemia, seek medical attention immediately.

last updated 10/2008

Amaryl, Glimepiride, Full Prescribing Information

Detailed Info on Signs, Symptoms, Causes, Treatments of Diabetes

back to: Browse all Medications for Diabetes

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, October 30). Amaryl Diabetes Type 2 Treatment - Amaryl Patient Information, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, December 24 from https://www.healthyplace.com/diabetes/medications/amaryl-type-2-diabetes-information

Last Updated: July 21, 2014