Is My Masturbation Ruining My Marriage, Even Though We Have an Excellent Sex Life?

Stanton:

I know this is not a simple question. I really appreciate your time. But if you could just take a few moments and read the following.

I need help. I have a problem that is causing me grief. If there is any possible way, I want to do something about it.

addiction-articles-124-healthyplaceI want to stop "WONDERING" what it would be like to have sex with any women I find the least bit attractive. I seem to run into them everywhere. I just turned 48 years old and ever since I can remember, I have had this problem. When I was single, I would just go home and masturbate. Fanaticize about what it might be like. Have an orgasm. Then move on with my life—until the next wondering popped uninvited into my mind. Then the cycle would start all over again.

I am 10 years into my second marriage. My first one lasted 17 years. I am still doing this 'thing' and I can't seem to stop it. I finally discussed these urgings with my wife tonight.

Why I did is because we have been in marital turmoil for the past two weeks. You see, six months ago I finally went a step further and sent an e-mail and visited a woman friend of mine from 20 years ago. Out of the sky blue she called me on the phone. I Fanaticized about her a long time ago. I called her back and went over to her house. We didn't do anything. Once I got there I couldn't figure out why in the hell I was even there and that I really didn't want to be there. We talked for a little less than an hour about what she was doing, what I was doing, how are the kids... I spent most of the time trying to think about how to gracefully get the hell out of there...and did so.

Anyway, that was six months ago and we have had no contact since then. I came home one day a couple weeks ago and found my wife in shock. Somehow she had ran across the one and only e-mail on my computer from this woman. I forgot all about it. She didn't believe me. To her I had been unfaithful (even though there was no sex) and that our relationship was a lie and that she felt she could never trust me again—let alone ever have our relationship go back to the way it was.

Because we both seem to want to continue this relationship, we have been struggling to find out if and how this might be possible.

I feel my wondering problem is getting worse. If this relationship ended, I would just find another relationship to get into and then I would hurt another person. I am not a hurting person! I do not want to hurt anyone else. I want to stop having these wonderings!

I really want what my wife thought we had. A monogamous relationship. Whenever she thinks of sex, sees a sexual scene on TV or reads a sexual passage—she thinks only of me. I want that!!! I truly want to think only of her.

I really want the kind of relationship she thought we had where our sexual encounters were a natural extension of ourselves and the ultimate way to show our love for each other. I want that!!! I want her to be the ONLY person I share my sex with.

Me? I fantasize about having sex with other women and then masturbate—leaving her totally out of the picture. I am so ashamed of myself. She told me the other night that she knew I was masturbating. How she knew was because there where some nights where she felt she couldn't approach me about sex and that it seemed pretty apparent that I wasn't going to approach her. She wanted to find out why. She said she knew on which days I masturbated. She said she needed some kind of signal, so she planted a hair halfway in and hanging out of the Vaseline jar—that way she would know on which nights I might be acceptable to have sex with her. I feel so so ashamed of myself. I thought that my wonderings leading to masturbation were affecting only me. I now know that I was so wrong in thinking I was in it alone, that I was keeping it a secret and that it wasn't hurting anyone else.

I tried to explain to her that this had nothing to do with her. She could be the sex goddess of the world and I would still have these wonderings. I had them when I was single. I had them all during my first marriage. I took care of them through masturbation so that then I could get on with my life. In telling her all this I think I realized something—that in all of the wonderings, I never followed through with trying to have sex with any of the 'wonderesses', but that I felt I had to do something about the urge, so I choose to masturbate instead. Instead of having real sex with other women and become unfaithful.

Sex with my wife is the most wonderful and fulfilling I can ever imagine it would or could be. If it were any better, I don't think I could literally survive it. And depending on what's going on, we have this kind of passing-out pleasurable sex from two to four times a week.

What is wrong with me? Am I a sex addict? Am I over sexed?

Is there such a thing as feeding my demanding brain with sexual orgasm just like someone tries to feed his body urges for drugs once they are hooked on them?

Can you offer me anything? Please?

Larry


Dear Larry:

Let me review: you have a wonderful wife and a great sex relationship with her. You frequently have urges to have sex with other women, which you do not act on, but which you convert into sexual fantasies during which you masturbate. Your wife was aware of your masturbation, but got really upset because you saw an old girlfriend, although you swear the visit was innocent.

I don't think you have a problem, if all this is true. You have great sex with your wife, and you like to have additional sex. Your wife understands that, and still yearns for frequent sex with you. I think it is great that all of this has come out in the open — you were afraid to let your wife know that you masturbate, but discovered that she did know and accepted it.

You know, Larry, people have different desires for sexual activity. If you love your wife but want additional sex beyond what she enjoys, this is permissible. You are an adult, and you can masturbate (as can kids). It's okay.

At the same time, it is critical that you communicate what you say it is that you feel — you love your wife, want only to be with her, and absolutely refuse to endanger that primary love relationship with dalliances outside of marriage. (I think you might be in a minority of men in that regard).

Beyond this, if you want to use your sex drive as a bridge to enhance your intimacy with your wife, perhaps she is more open to new suggestions than you give her credit for. Perhaps it is your lack of imagination that is creating the problem. The woman you describe as your wife seems tolerant, sexually engaged, and adventurous (within the relationship).

For example, when you fantasize about a certain kind of woman, can you communicate this to your wife, and make that part of your lovemaking—for example, by verbally fantasizing during lovemaking that she is this woman. Perhaps she can dress the part, or the two of you can play out the interaction you fantasize about. A strong ability to fantasize and sexual energy are not negative things, as long as you don't damage yourself or your relationship with these things. And they are assets if you can incorporate them within the relationship.

Really use your imagination, and make your wife a part of it.

Best,
Stanton


Stanton:

Thank you very much for your quick response. My wife also thanks you.

The only thing I didn't read from you is my concern for my 'wondering' thoughts. I really wish I could some way just get them to stop happening. Is there a way? Should I be concerned?

Thanks again!!!

Larry


Dear Larry:

Convert them, as much as possible, to thoughts about things you will do with your wife. And, yes, many people have sexual fantasies quite frequently — remember that goody-two-shoes, Jimmy Carter, lusting in his heart? And I'm guessing that he didn't have as good a sex life with his wife as you do. Most people don't. A recent study in JAMA discovered a remarkably high percentage of women (43%) and men (31%) suffer from sexual dysfunction — meaning an inability to perform or enjoy sex. Your sex life places you among the fortunate few.

Best,
Stanton

Reference

E.O. Laumann, A. Paik, and R.C. Rosen, "Sexual dysfunction in the United States: Prevalence and predictors," JAMA, 281:537-544, 1999.

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Is My Masturbation Ruining My Marriage, Even Though We Have an Excellent Sex Life?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/is-my-masturbation-ruining-my-marriage-even-though-we-have-an-excellent-sex-life

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

Promoting Positive Drinking: Alcohol, Necessary Evil or Positive Good?

Stanton wrote a chapter analyzing different views on alcohol, whether as good or evil, and how these views impact drinking practices. In the U.S., public health authorities and educators continuously broadcast negative information about alcohol, while young people and others continue to drink excessively and dangerously. An alternate model is to encompass beverage alcohol in an overall positive and healthy lifestyle, in which alcohol is assigned a limited but constructive role. Positive drinking cultures also hold people responsible for their drinking behavior and are intolerant of disruptive drinking.

Palm eBook

In: S. Peele & M. Grant (Eds.) (1999), Alcohol and pleasure: A health perspective, Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel, pp. 1-7
© Copyright 1999 Stanton Peele. All rights reserved.

addiction-articles-130-healthyplaceMorristown, NJ

Historically and internationally, cultural visions of alcohol and its effects vary in terms of how positive or negative they are and the likely consequences that they attach to alcohol consumption. The dominant contemporary vision of alcohol in the United States is that alcohol (a) is primarily negative and has exclusively hazardous consequences, (b) leads frequently to uncontrollable behavior, and (c) is something that young people should be warned against. The consequences of this vision are that when children do drink (which teenagers regularly do), they know of no alternative but excessive, intense consumption patterns, leading them frequently to drink to intoxication. This chapter explores alternative models of drinking and channels for conveying them which emphasize healthy versus unhealthy consumption patterns as well as the individual's responsibility to manage his or her drinking. The ultimate goal is for people to see alcohol as an accompaniment to an overall healthy and pleasurable lifestyle, an image they enact as moderate, sensible drinking patterns.

Models of Alcohol's Effects

Selden Bacon, a founder and long-time director of the Yale (then Rutgers) Center of Alcohol Studies, remarked on the strange public health approach to alcohol taken in the United States and elsewhere in the Western world:

Current organized knowledge about alcohol use can be likened to... knowledge about automobiles and their use if the latter were limited to facts and theories about accidents and crashes.... [What is missing are] the positive functions and positive attitudes about alcohol uses in our as well as in other societies.... If educating youth about drinking starts from the assumed basis that such drinking is bad... full of risk for life and property, at best considered as an escape, clearly useless per se, and/or frequently the precursor of disease, and the subject matter is taught by nondrinkers and antidrinkers, this is a particular indoctrination. Further, if 75-80% of the surrounding peers and elders are or are going to become drinkers, there [is]... an inconsistency between the message and the reality. (Bacon, 1984, pp. 22-24)

When Bacon wrote these words, the coronary and mortality benefits of alcohol were only beginning to be established, while the psychological and social benefits of drinking had not been systematically assessed. His wry observations seem doubly relevant today, now that the life-prolonging effects of alcohol are on a firm footing (Doll, 1997; Klatsky, 1999) and the conference on which this volume is based has begun the discussion of the ways in which alcohol enhances quality of life (see also Baum-Baicker, 1985; Brodsky & Peele, 1999; Peele & Brodsky, 1998). In other words, if science indicates that alcohol conveys significant life advantages, why does alcohol policy act as though alcohol were evil?

Table 26.1 Views of alcohol in the United States.
  Alcohol is bad Alcohol is good Alcohol is bad/good An integrated approach
Model of alcohol use Temperance/ proscriptive Nontemperance/ permissive Ambivalent/ prescriptive Nontemperance/ prescriptive
Key ingredient Abstinence; formal controls Excessive drinking Informally regulated drinking Moderation; self-regulation
Consequence Nonoptimal drinking/ health Nonoptimal drinking/ health Mixed or oscillating drinking Healthy drinking

This chapter examines different views of alcohol as being either evil or good (Table 26.1). Two different typologies of social attitudes towards alcohol are employed. One is the distinction between temperance and nontemperance Western societies. In the former, major efforts have been mounted to ban alcoholic beverages (Levine, 1992). Less alcohol is consumed in temperance societies, with more outward signs of problematic use. In nontemperance societies, by contrast, alcohol is used almost universally, drinking is socially integrated, and few behavioral and other alcohol-related problems are noted (Peele, 1997).

An alternate typology has been used by sociologists to characterize norms and attitudes towards alcohol in subgroups within the larger society. Akers (1992) lists four such types of groups: (a) groups with proscriptive norms against the use of alcohol; (b) prescriptive groups that accept and welcome drinking but establish clear norms for its consumption; (c) groups with ambivalent norms that invite drinking but also fear and resent it; and (d) groups with permissive norms that not only tolerate and invite drinking but do not set limits on consumption or on behavior while drinking.

This chapter contrasts these different views of alcohol and the ways of approaching alcohol education and policy suggested by each. It additionally juxtaposes the potential consequences of each view and its educational approach.


Visions of Alcohol

Alcohol is Bad

The idea of alcohol as evil took root 150 to 200 years ago (Lender & Martin, 1987; Levine, 1978). Although this idea has varied in its intensity since then, antialcohol feeling has resurfaced and consumption has declined since the late 1970s in much of the Western world, led by the United States (Heath, 1989). The idea that alcohol is bad takes a number of forms. Of course, in the 19th and 20th centuries, the temperance movement held that alcohol is a negative force that must be eliminated from society because (in its view) of the following characteristics of alcohol:

  • Alcohol is an addictive substance whose use inevitably leads to increased, compulsive, and uncontrollable use.
  • Alcoholism underlies most, indeed practically all, modern social problems (unemployment, wife and child abuse, emotional disorders, prostitution, and so on).
  • Alcohol conveys no discernible social benefits.

Alcoholism as a Disease: The Inbred Alcoholic. The essential attributes of alcoholism as a disease were part of the temperance movement's view of alcohol. These were consolidated and reintegrated into the modern disease theory of alcoholism both through the development of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), beginning in 1935, and in a modern medical approach, beginning in the 1970s and espoused currently by the directorship of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). AA popularized the idea that a small subgroup of individuals has a deeply ingrained form of alcoholism that prevents its members from drinking moderately. In the modern medical view, this has taken the form of the idea of a heavy genetic loading for alcoholism.

AA actually wished to coexist with alcohol in the post-prohibition era,1 because the signs were inescapable that the nation would no longer support national prohibition. If only certain individuals are stricken with alcoholism, then only they have to fear the evils that lurk in the beverage. For this limited group, however, the evils of alcohol are unlimited. They progressively lead the alcoholic (the drunkard or inebriate in temperance terms) to a total collapse of ordinary values and life structure and the ultimate depredations of death, the insane asylum, or prison.

A standard temperance view of alcohol was provided in the set of prints drawn by George Cruikshank, entitled The Bottle, included in Timothy Shay Arthur's 1848 Temperance Tales (see Lender & Martin, 1987). The Bottle comprised eight prints. After first sampling alcohol, the protagonist descends rapidly into a drunkard's hell. In short order he loses his job, the family is evicted and must beg on the streets, and so on. In the seventh print, the man kills his wife while he is drunk, leading to his commitment to an asylum in the last print. This sense of the imminent, horrible danger and death in alcohol is an integral part of the modern medical disease viewpoint as well. G. Douglas Talbott, president of the American Society of Addiction Medicine, wrote, "The ultimate consequences for a drinking alcoholic are these three: he or she will end up in jail, in a hospital, or in a graveyard" (Wholey, 1984, p. 19).

Alcohol Dependence and the Public Health Model. The modern medical viewpoint, despite its allegiance to genetic causality of alcoholism, is less committed than AA to the idea that alcoholism is in-born. For example, an NIAAA general population study (Grant & Dawson, 1998) assessed the risk of developing alcoholism to be much higher for youthful drinkers (a risk that was multiplied if alcoholism was present in the family). The model underlying this view of alcoholism's development is alcohol dependence, which holds that individuals drinking at a high rate for a substantial period develop a psychological and physiological reliance on alcohol (Peele, 1987). (It should be noted that the Grant and Dawson study (a) did not distinguish between those who first drank at home and those who drank with peers outside the home and (b) asked about first drinking "not counting small tastes or sips of alcohol" (p. 105), which more likely indicates first drinking other than within the family or at home.)

In addition to the disease and dependence views of alcohol's negative action, the modern public health view of alcohol is a drinking-problems model, which holds that only a minority of alcohol problems (violence, accidents, disease) are associated with alcoholic or dependent drinkers (see Stockwell & Single, 1999). Rather, it holds, drinking problems are spread across the population and can appear either because of acute intoxication even in occasional drinkers, cumulative effects from lower levels of nondependent drinking, or heavy drinking by a relatively small percentage of problem drinkers. In any case, according to the most popular public health viewpoint, alcohol problems are multiplied by higher levels of drinking society-wide (Edwards et al., 1994). The public health model sees not only alcohol dependence but all alcohol consumption as inherently problematic, in that greater consumption leads to greater social problems. The role of public health advocates in this view is to diminish alcohol consumption through whatever means possible.

Alcohol is Good

The view of alcohol as beneficent is ancient, as old at least as the idea that alcohol produces harm. The Old Testament describes alcoholic excess, but it also values alcohol. Both the Hebrew and Christian religions include wine in their sacraments—Hebrew prayer bestows a blessing on wine. Even earlier, the Greeks considered wine a boon and worshipped a god of wine, Dionysius (the same god who stood for pleasure and revelry). From the ancients to the present, many have valued wine and other beverage alcohol for either their ritualistic benefits or their celebratory and even licentious aspects. The value of alcohol certainly was appreciated in colonial America, which drank freely and gladly, and where minister Increase Mather termed alcohol the "good creature of God" (Lender & Martin, 1987, p. 1).


Before Prohibition in the United States and from the 1940s through the 1960s, drinking alcohol was accepted and valued as was perhaps even excessive drinking. Musto (1996) has detailed cycles of attitudes towards alcohol in the United States, from the libertarian to the prohibitionistic. We can see the view of drinking and even alcohol intoxication as pleasurable in American film (Room, 1989), including also the work of such mainstream and morally upright artists as Walt Disney, who presented an entertaining and drunken Bacchus in his 1940 animated film, Fantasia. Television dramas in the 1960s casually depicted drinking by doctors, parents, and most adults. In the United States, one view of alcohol—the permissive—is associated with high consumption and few restraints on drinking (Akers, 1992; Orcutt, 1991).

Most drinkers throughout the Western world view alcohol as a positive experience. Respondents in surveys in the United States, Canada, and Sweden predominantly mention positive sensations and experiences in association with drinking—such as relaxation and sociability—with little mention of harm (Pernanen, 1991). Cahalan (1970) found that the most common result of drinking reported by current drinkers in the United States was that they "felt happy and cheerful" (50% of male and 47% of female nonproblem drinkers). Roizen (1983) reported national survey data in the United States in which 43% of adult male drinkers always or usually felt "friendly" (the most common effect) when they drank, compared with 8% who felt "aggressive" or 2% who felt "sad".

Alcohol May Be Good or Bad

Of course, many of those sources for the goodness of alcohol also drew important distinctions among styles of alcohol use. Increase Mather's full view of alcohol was outlined in his 1673 tract Wo to Drunkards: "The wine is from God, but the Drunkard is from the Devil." Benjamin Rush, the colonial physician who first formulated a disease view of alcoholism, recommended abstinence only from spirits, and not wine or cider, as did the early temperance movement (Lender & Martin, 1987). It was only in the middle of the 19th century that teetotaling became the goal of temperance, a goal that was adopted by AA in the next century.

Some cultures and groups instead accept and encourage drinking, although they disapprove of drunkenness and antisocial behavior while drinking. Jews as an ethnic group typify this "prescriptive" approach to drinking, which allows frequent imbibing but strictly regulates the style of drinking and comportment when drinking, a style that leads overwhelmingly to moderate drinking with a minimal number of problems (Akers, 1992; Glassner, 1991). Modern epidemiologic research on alcohol (Camargo, 1999; Klatsky, 1999) embodies this view of alcohol's double-edged nature with the U- or J-shaped curve, in which mild to moderate drinkers display reduced coronary artery disease and mortality rates, but abstainers and heavier drinkers show depreciated health outcomes.

A less successful view of the "dual" nature of alcohol consumption is embodied by ambivalent groups (Akers, 1992), which both welcome alcohol's intoxicating effects and disapprove (or feel guilty about) excessive drinking and its consequences.

Alcohol and the Integrated Lifestyle

A view consistent with that in which alcohol may be used in either a positive or a negative fashion is one that sees healthful drinking not so much as the cause of either good and bad medical or psychosocial outcomes but as a part of an overall healthful approach to life. One version of this idea is embedded in the so-called Mediterranean diet, which emphasizes a balanced diet lower in animal protein than the typical American diet, and in which regular, moderate alcohol drinking is one central element. In line with this integrated approach, crosscultural epidemiologic research has shown that diet and alcohol contribute independently to coronary artery disease benefits in Mediterranean countries (Criqui & Ringle, 1994). Indeed, one can imagine other characteristics of Mediterranean cultures that lead to reduced levels of coronary artery disease—such as more walking, greater community supports, and less stressful lifestyles than in the United States and other temperance, generally Protestant, cultures.

Grossarth-Maticek (1995) has presented an even more radical version of this integrated approach, in which self-regulation is the fundamental individual value or outlook, and drinking moderately or healthily is secondary to this larger orientation:

"Troubled drinkers," i.e. people who both suffer from permanent stress and also impair their own self-regulation by drinking, only need a small daily dose to shorten their lives considerably. On the other hand, people who can regulate themselves well, and whose self-regulation is improved by alcohol consumption, even by a high dose, do not manifest a shorter life span or a higher frequency of chronic illnesses.

Drinking Messages and Their Consequences

Never Drink

The proscriptive approach to alcohol, characteristic for example of Moslem and Mormon societies, formally rules out all alcohol use. Within the United States, proscriptive groups include conservative Protestant sects and, often corresponding to such religious groupings, dry political regions. If those in such groups drink, they are at high risk for drinking excessively, because there are no norms to prescribe moderate consumption. This same phenomenon is seen in national drinking surveys, in which groups with high abstinence rates also display higher-than-average problem-drinking rates, at least among those who are exposed to alcohol (Cahalan & Room, 1974; Hilton, 1987, 1988).


Control Drinking

Temperance cultures (i.e., Scandinavian and English-speaking nations) foster the most active alcohol-control policies. Historically, these have taken the form of prohibition campaigns. In contemporary society, these nations enforce strict parameters for drinking, including regulation of the time and place of consumption, age restrictions for drinking, taxation policies, and so on. Nontemperance cultures show less concern in all these areas and yet report fewer behavioral drinking problems (Levine, 1992; Peele, 1997). For example, in Portugal, Spain, Belgium, and other countries, 16-year-olds (and those even younger) can drink alcohol freely in public establishments. These countries have almost no AA presence; Portugal, which had the highest per capita alcohol consumption in 1990, had 0.6 AA groups per million population compared with almost 800 AA groups per million population in Iceland, the country that consumed the least alcohol per capita in Europe. The idea of the need to control drinking externally or formally thus coincides with drinking problems in a paradoxically mutually reinforcing relationship.

At the same time, efforts to control or ameliorate drinking and drinking problems sometimes have untoward effects. In regard to treatment, Room (1988, p. 43) notes,

[We are in the midst] of a huge expansion in the treatment of alcohol-related problems in the United States [and industrialized nations worldwide]... In comparing Scotland and United States, on the one hand, with developing countries like Mexico and Zambia, on the other hand, in the World Health Organization Community Response Study, we were struck with how much more responsibility Mexicans and Zambians gave to family and friends in dealing with alcohol problems, and how ready Scots and Americans were to cede responsibility for these human problems to official agencies or to professionals. Studying the period since 1950 in seven industrialized nations.... [when] alcohol problem rates generally grew, we were struck by the concomitant growth of treatment provision in all of these countries. The provision of treatment, we felt, became a societal alibi for the dismantling of long-standing structures of control of drinking behavior, both formal and informal.

Room noted that, in the period from the 1950s through the 1970s, alcohol controls were relaxed and alcohol problems grew as consumption increased. This is the perceived relationship underlying the public policy approach of limiting consumption of alcohol. However, since the 1970s, alcohol controls in most countries (along with treatment) have increased and consumption has declined, but individual drinking problems have risen markedly (at least in the United States), particularly among men (Table 26.2). Around the point at which per capita consumption began to decline, between 1967 and 1984, NIAAA-funded national drinking surveys reported a doubling in self-reported alcohol-dependence symptoms without a concomitant increase in consumption among drinkers (Hilton & Clark, 1991).

Table 26.2 Dependence-drinking problems among U.S. drinkers.
  Respondents reporting at least one dependence symptom over prior year (%)
Year Men Women
1967 8 5
1984 19 8
Note. Data from "Changes in American drinking patterns and problems, 1967-1984," by M. E. Hilton and W. B. Clark, 1991, in D. J. Pittman and H. R. White (Eds.), Society, culture, and drinking patterns reexamined (pp. 157-172), New Brunswick, NJ: Center of Alcohol Studies.

Drink for Enjoyment

Most people drink in line with the standards of their social environments. The definition of enjoyable drinking varies according to the group of which the drinker is a part. Clearly, some societies have a different sense of the enjoyment of alcohol relative to its dangers. One definition of nontemperance cultures is that they conceive of alcohol as a positive pleasure, or as a substance whose use is valued in itself. Bales (1946), Jellinek (1960), and others have distinguished the very different conceptions of alcohol that characterize temperance and nontemperance cultures such as, respectively, the Irish and the Italian: In the former, alcohol connotes imminent doom and danger and at the same time freedom and license; in the latter alcohol is not conceived as creating social or personal problems. In Irish culture, alcohol is separated from the family and is used sporadically in special circumstances. In the Italian, drinking is conceived as a commonplace, but joyous, social opportunity.

Societies characterized by the permissive social style of drinking also might be seen to conceive of drinking in a predominantly enjoyable light. However, in this environment, excessive drinking, intoxication, and acting out are tolerated and are in fact seen as a part of the enjoyment of alcohol. This is different from the prescriptive society, which values and appreciates drinking but which limits the amount and style of consumption. The latter is consistent with nontemperance cultures (Heath, 1999). Just as some individuals shift from high consumption to abstinence and some groups have both high abstinence and high excessive-drinking rates, permissive cultures can become aware of the dangers of alcohol and shift as a society into ones that impose strict alcohol controls (Musto, 1996; Room, 1989).

Drink for Health

The idea that alcohol is healthy is also ancient. Drinking throughout the ages has been thought to enhance appetite and digestion, assist in lactation, reduce pain, create relaxation and bring rest, and actually attack some diseases. Even in temperance societies, people may regard a drink of alcohol as healthful. The health benefits of moderate alcohol consumption (as opposed to both abstinence and heavy drinking) were first presented in a modern medical light in 1926 by Raymond Pearl (Klatsky, 1999). Since the 1980s, and with greater certainty in the 1990s, prospective epidemiologic studies have found that moderate drinkers have a lower incidence of heart disease and live longer than abstainers (see Camargo, 1999; Klatsky, 1999).


The United States typifies a modern society with a highly developed and educated consumer class characterized by an intense health consciousness. Bromides, vitamins, and foods are sold and consumed widely on the basis of their supposed healthfulness. There are few cases, if any, in which the healthfulness of such folk prescriptions is as well established as in the case of alcohol. Indeed, the range and solidity of the findings of medical benefits of alcohol rival and exceed the empirical basis for such claims for many pharmaceutical substances. Thus, a basis has been built for drinking as a part of a regulated health program.

Yet, residual attitudes in the United States—a temperance society—conflict with a recognition and utilization of alcohol's health benefits (Peele, 1993). This environment creates conflicting pressures: Health consciousness presses towards consideration of the healthfulness and life-prolonging effects of drinking, but traditional and medical antialcohol views work against presenting positive messages about drinking. Bradley, Donovan, and Larson (1993) describe this failure of medical professionals, out of either fear or ignorance, to incorporate recommendations for optimal drinking levels in interactions with patients. This omission both denies information about life-saving benefits of alcohol to patients who might benefit and fails to take advantage of a large body of research that shows that "brief interventions," in which health professionals recommend reduced drinking, are highly cost-effective tools for combating alcohol abuse (Miller et al., 1995).

Who Gives Drinking Messages and What Do They Say?

Government or Public Health

The view of alcohol presented by government, at least in the United States, is almost entirely negative. Public announcements about alcohol are always of its dangers, never of its benefits. The public health position on alcohol in North America and Europe (WHO, 1993) is likewise strictly negative. Government and public health bodies have decided that it is too risky to inform people at large of the relative risks, including the benefits, of drinking because this may lead them to greater excesses of drinking or serve as an excuse for those already drinking excessively. Although Luik (1999) views the government's discouragement of pleasurable activities (such as drinking), which he accepts as being unhealthy, as paternalistic and unnecessary, in fact, in the case of alcohol, such discouragement is counterproductive even as far as health goes. As Grossarth-Maticek and his colleagues have shown (Grossarth-Maticek & Eysenck, 1995; Grossarth-Maticek, Eysenck, & Boyle, 1995), self-regulating consumers who feel they can control their own outcomes are healthiest.

Industry Advertising

Nongovernmentally supported, non-public health advertising, that is, commercial advertising by alcohol manufacturers, frequently advises drinkers to drink responsibly. The message is reasonable enough but falls far short of encouraging a positive outlook towards alcohol as part of an overall healthful lifestyle. The industry's reticence in this area is caused by a combination of several factors. Much of the industry fears making health claims for its products, both because of the potential for incurring governmental wrath and also because such claims could expose them to legal liability. Thus, industry advertising does not suggest positive drinking images so much as it seeks to avoid responsibility for suggesting or supporting negative drinking styles.

Schools

The absence of a balanced view of alcohol is as noteworthy in educational settings as in public health messages. Elementary and secondary schools simply fear the disapprobation and liability risks of anything that might be taken to encourage drinking, particularly because their charges are not yet of the legal drinking age in the United States (compare this with private schools in France, which serve their students wine with meals). What may be even more puzzling is the absence of positive drinking messages and opportunities on American college campuses, where drinking is nonetheless widespread. Without a positive model of collegiate drinking to offer, nothing appears to counterbalance the concentrated and sometimes compulsive nature (termed "bingeing," see Wechsler, Davenport, Dowdall, Moeykens, & Castillo, 1994) of this youthful imbibing.

Family, Adults, or Peers

Because contemporaneous social groups provide the greatest pressures and supports for drinking behavior, families, other present adults, and peers are the most critical determinants of styles of drinking (Cahalan & Room, 1974). These different social groups tend to affect individuals, particularly young individuals, differently (Zhang, Welte, & Wieczorek, 1997). Peer drinking, among the young in particular, connotes illicit and excessive consumption. Indeed, one reason to allow young people to drink legally is that they then are more likely to drink with adults—related or otherwise—who as a rule tend to drink more moderately. Most bars, restaurants, and other social drinking establishments encourage moderate drinking, and thus such establishments and their patrons can serve as socializing forces for moderation.

Of course, social, ethnic, and other background factors influence whether positive modeling of drinking will occur in these groups. For example, young people with parents who abuse alcohol would do best to learn to drink outside the family. And this is the central problem with instances in which the family provides the primary model for drinking behavior. If the family is unable to set an example for moderate drinking, then individuals whose families either abstain or drink excessively are left without adequate models after which to fashion their own drinking patterns. This is not an automatic disqualification for becoming a moderate drinker, however; most offspring of either abstinent or heavy-drinking parents gravitate towards community norms of social drinking (Harburg, DiFranceisco, Webster, Gleiberman, & Schork, 1990).

Not only do parents sometimes lack social-drinking skills, those who possess them are often under attack from other social institutions in the United States. For example, totally negative alcohol education programs in schools liken alcohol to illicit drugs, so that children are confounded to see their parents openly practicing what they are told is a dangerous or negative behavior.


What Should Young People Learn About Alcohol and Positive Drinking Habits?

Thus, there are substantial deficiencies in the available options for teaching, modeling, and socializing positive drinking habits-exactly the ones Bacon identified 15 years ago. Current models leave a substantial gap in what children and others learn about alcohol, as shown by the 1997 Monitoring the Future data (Survey Research Centers, 1998a, 1998b) for highschool seniors (see Table 26.3).

Table 26.3 1997 Monitoring the Future high-school senior data.
Survey findings Student response, %
Drinking behaviors  
Drank in past year 75
Been drunk in past year 53
Drinking attitudes (disapprove of)  
Have 5+ drinks 1 or 2 times/weekend 65
Have 1 or 2 drinks nearly every day 70
Note. Data from The Monitoring the Future Study: Table 4 [On-line], by Survey Research Center, Institute for Social Research, 1998, available: http://www.isr.umich.edu/src/mtf/mtf97t4.html; The Monitoring the Future Study: Table 10 [On-line], by Survey Research Center, Institute for Social Research, 1998, available: http://www.isr.umich.edu/src/mtf/mtf97tlO.html

These data indicate that, although three quarters of high school seniors in the U.S. have drunk alcohol over the year, and more than half have been drunk, 7 in 10 disapprove of adults drinking regular, moderate amounts of alcohol (more than disapprove of heavy weekend drinking). In other words, what American students learn about alcohol leads them to disapprove of a healthful style of drinking, but at the same time they themselves drink in an unhealthy fashion.

Conclusion

In place of messages that lead to a dysfunctional combination of behavior and attitudes, a model of sensible drinking should be presented—drinking regularly but moderately, drinking integrated with other healthy practices, and drinking motivated, accompanied by, and leading to further positive feelings. Harburg, Gleiberman, DiFranceisco, and Peele (1994) have presented such a model, which they call "sensible drinking." In this view, the following set of prescriptive and pleasurable practices and recommendations should be communicated to young people and others:

  1. Alcohol is a legal beverage widely available in most societies throughout the world.
  2. Alcohol may be misused with serious negative consequences.
  3. Alcohol is more often used in a mild and socially positive fashion.
  4. Alcohol used in this fashion conveys significant benefits, including health, quality-of- life, and psychological and social benefits.
  5. It is critical for the individual to develop skills to manage alcohol consumption.
  6. Some groups use alcohol almost exclusively in a positive fashion, and this style of drinking should be valued and emulated.
  7. Positive drinking involves regular moderate consumption, often including other people of both genders and all ages and usually entailing activities in addition to alcohol consumption, where the overall environment is pleasant—either relaxing or socially stimulating.
  8. Alcohol, like other healthful activities, both takes its form and produces the most benefit within an overall positive life structure and social environment, including group supports, other healthful habits, and a purposeful and engaged lifestyle.

If we fear communicating such messages, then we both lose an opportunity for a significantly beneficial life involvement and actually increase the danger of problematic drinking.

Note

  1. Prohibition was repealed in the United States in 1933.

References

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Brodsky, A., & Peele, S. (1999). Psychosocial benefits of moderate alcohol consumption: Alcohol's role in a broader conception of health and well-being. In S. Peele & M. Grant (Eds.), Alcohol and pleasure: A health perspective (pp. 187-207). Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.

Cahalan, D. (1970). Problem drinkers: A national survey. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Cahalan, D., & Room, R. (1974). Problem drinking among American men. New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers Center of Alcohol Studies.

Camargo, C.A., Jr. (1999). Gender differences in the health effects of moderate alcohol consumption. In S. Peele & M. Grant (Eds.), Alcohol and pleasure: A health perspective (pp. 157-170). Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.

Criqui, M.H., & Ringle, B.L. (1994). Does diet or alcohol explain the French paradox? Lancet, 344, 1719-1723.

Doll, R. (1997). One for the heart. British Medical Journal, 315, 1664-1667.

Edwards, G., Anderson, P., Babor, T.F., Casswell, S., Ferrence, R., Giesbrech, N., Godfrey, C., Holder, H.D., Lemmens, P., Mäkelä, K., Midanik, L.T., Norstrom, T., Osterberg, E., Romelsjö, A., Room, R., Simpura, J., & Skog, O.-J. (1994). Alcohol policy and the public good. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.

Glassner, B. (1991). Jewish sobriety. In D.J. Pittman & H.R. White (Eds.), Society, culture, and drinking patterns reexamined (pp. 311-326). New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers Center of Alcohol Studies.

Grant, B.F., & Dawson, D.A. (1998). Age at onset of alcohol use and its association with DSM-IV alcohol abuse and dependence: Results from the National Longitudinal Alcohol Epidemiologic Survey. Journal of Substance Abuse, 9, 103-110.

Grossarth-Maticek, R. (1995). When is drinking bad for your health? The interaction of drinking and self-regulation (Unpublished presentation). Heidelberg, Germany: European Center for Peace and Development.

Grossarth-Maticek, R., & Eysenck, H.J. (1995). Self-regulation and mortality from cancer, coronary heart disease, and other causes: A prospective study. Personality and Individual Differences, 19, 781-795.

Grossarth-Maticek, R., Eysenck, H.J., & Boyle, G.J. (1995). Alcohol consumption and health: Synergistic interaction with personality. Psychological Reports, 77, 675-687.

Harburg, E., DiFranceisco, M.A., Webster, D.W., Gleiberman. L., & Schork, A. (1990). Familial transmission of alcohol use: 1. Parent and adult offspring alcohol use over 17 years—Tecumseh, Michigan. Journal of Studies on Alcohol, 51, 245-256.

Harburg, E., Gleiberman, L., DiFranceisco, M.A., & Peele, S. (1994). Towards a concept of sensible drinking and an illustration of measure. Alcohol & Alcoholism, 29, 439-450.

Heath, D.B. (1989). The new temperance movement: Through the looking glass. Drugs and Society, 3, 143-168.

Heath, D.B. (1999). Drinking and pleasure across cultures. In S. Peele & M. Grant (Eds.), Alcohol and pleasure: A health perspective (pp. 61-72). Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.

Hilton, M.E. (1987). Drinking patterns and drinking problems in 1984: Results from a general population survey. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 11, 167-175.

Hilton, M.E. (1988). Regional diversity in United States drinking practices. British Journal of Addiction, 83, 519-532.

Hilton, M.E., & Clark, W.B. (1991). Changes in American drinking patterns and problems, 1967-1984. In D.J. Pittman & H.R. White (Eds.), Society, culture, and drinking patterns reexamined (pp. 157-172). New Brunswick, NJ: Rutgers Center of Alcohol Studies.

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Leigh, B.C. (1999). Thinking, feeling, and drinking: Alcohol expectancies and alcohol use. In S. Peele & M. Grant (Eds.), Alcohol and pleasure: A health perspective (pp. 215-231). Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.

Lender, M.E., & Martin, J.K. (1987). Drinking in America (2nd ed.). New York: Free Press.

Levine, H.G. (1978). The discovery of addiction: Changing conceptions of habitual drunkenness in America. Journal of Studies on Alcohol, 39, 143-174.

Levine, H.G. (1992). Temperance cultures: Alcohol as a problem in Nordic and English-speaking cultures. In M. Lader, G. Edwards, & C. Drummond (Eds.), The nature of alcohol and drug-related problems (pp. 16-36). New York: Oxford University Press.

Luik, J. (1999). Wardens, abbots, and modest hedonists: The problem of permission for pleasure in a democratic society. In S. Peele & M. Grant (Eds.), Alcohol and pleasure: A health perspective (pp. 25-35). Philadelphia: Brunner/Mazel.

Miller, W.R., Brown, J.M., Simpson, T.L., Handmaker, N.S., Bien, T.H., Luckie, L.F., Montgomery, H.A., Hester, R.K., & Tonigan. J. S. (1995). What works? A methodological analysis of the alcohol treatment outcome literature. In R. K. Hester & W. R. Miller (Eds.), Handbook of alcoholism treatment approaches: Effective alternatives (2nd ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

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Peele, S. (1993). The conflict between public health goals and the temperance mentality. American Journal of Public Health, 83, 805-810.

Peele, S. (1997). Utilizing culture and behavior in epidemiological models of alcohol consumption and consequences for Western nations. Alcohol and Alcoholism, 32, 51-64.

Peele, S., & Brodsky, A. (1998). Psychosocial benefits of moderate alcohol use: Associations and causes. Unpublished manuscript.

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next: Should an AA Member Who Feels Capable Resume Moderate Drinking?
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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Promoting Positive Drinking: Alcohol, Necessary Evil or Positive Good?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/promoting-positive-drinking-alcohol-necessary-evil-or-positive-good

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

How Casual Drug Use Leads to Addiction

No one ever starts out using drugs intending to become a drug addict. Overtime, use of addictive drugs changes the brain and leads to compulsive drug use.

It is an all-too-common scenario: A person experiments with an addictive drug like cocaine. Perhaps he intends to try it just once, for "the experience" of it. It turns out, though, that he enjoys the drug's euphoric effect so much that in ensuing weeks and months he uses it again -- and again. But in due time, he decides he really should quit. He knows that despite the incomparable short-term high he gets from using cocaine, the long-term consequences of its use are perilous. So he vows to stop using it.

His brain, however, has a different agenda. It now demands cocaine. While his rational mind knows full well that he shouldn't use it again, his brain overrides such warnings. Unbeknown to him, repeated use of cocaine has brought about dramatic changes in both the structure and function of his brain. In fact, if he'd known the danger signs for which to be on the lookout, he would have realized that the euphoric effect derived from cocaine use is itself a sure sign that the drug is inducing a change in the brain -- just as he would have known that as time passes, and the drug is used with increasing regularity, this change becomes more pronounced, and indelible, until finally his brain has become addicted to the drug.

And so, despite his heartfelt vow never again to use cocaine, he continues using it. Again and again.

His drug use is now beyond his control. It is compulsive. He is addicted.

While this turn of events is a shock to the drug user, it is no surprise at all to researchers who study the effects of addictive drugs. To them, it is a predictable outcome.

To be sure, no one ever starts out using drugs intending to become a drug addict. All drug users are just trying it, once or a few times. Every drug user starts out as an occasional user, and that initial use is a voluntary and controllable decision. But as time passes and drug use continues, a person goes from being a voluntary to a compulsive drug user. This change occurs because over time, use of addictive drugs changes the brain -- at times in big dramatic toxic ways, at others in more subtle ways, but always in destructive ways that can result in compulsive and even uncontrollable drug use.

How the Brain Reacts to Drug Abuse

No one ever starts out using drugs intending to become a drug addict. Overtime, use of addictive drugs changes the brain and leads to compulsive drug use.The fact is, drug addiction is a brain disease. While every type of drug of abuse has its own individual "trigger" for affecting or transforming the brain, many of the results of the transformation are strikingly similar regardless of the addictive drug that is used -- and of course in each instance the result is compulsive use. The brain changes range from fundamental and long-lasting changes in the biochemical makeup of the brain, to mood changes, to changes in memory processes and motor skills. And these changes have a tremendous impact on all aspects of a person's behavior. In fact, in addiction the drug becomes the single most powerful motivator in the life of the drug user. He will do virtually anything for the drug.

This unexpected consequence of drug use is what I have come to call the oops phenomenon. Why oops? Because the harmful outcome is in no way intentional. Just as no one starts out to have lung cancer when they smoke, or no one starts out to have clogged arteries when they eat fried foods which in turn usually cause heart attacks, no one starts out to become a drug addict when they use drugs. But in each case, though no one meant to behave in a way that would lead to tragic health consequences, that is what happened just the same, because of the inexorable, and undetected, destructive biochemical processes at work.

While we haven't yet pinpointed precisely all the triggers for the changes in the brain's structure and function that culminate in the "oops" phenomenon, a vast body of hard evidence shows that it is virtually inevitable that prolonged drug use will lead to addiction. From this we can soundly conclude that drug addiction is indeed a brain disease.

I realize that this flies in the face of the notion that drug addiction boils down to a serious character flaw -- that those addicted to drugs are just too weak-willed to quit drug use on their own. But the moral weakness notion itself flies in the face of all scientific evidence, and so it should be discarded.

It should be stressed, however, that to assert that drug addiction is a brain disease is by no means the same thing as saying that those addicted to drugs are not accountable for their actions, or that they are just unwitting, hapless victims of the harmful effects that use of addictive drugs has on their brains, and in every facet of their lives.

Just as their behavior at the outset was pivotal in putting them on a collision course with compulsive drug use, their behavior after becoming addicted is just as critical if they are to be effectively treated and to recover.

At minimum, they have to adhere to their drug treatment regimen. But this can pose an enormous challenge. The changes in their brain that turned them into compulsive users make it a daunting enough task to control their actions and complete treatment. Making it even more difficult is the fact that their craving becomes more heightened and irresistible whenever they are exposed to any situation that triggers a memory of the euphoric experience of drug use. Little wonder, then, that most compulsive drug users can't quit on their own, even if they want to (for instance, at most only 7 percent of those who try in any one year to quit smoking cigarettes on their own actually succeed). This is why it is essential that they enter a drug treatment program, even if they don't want to at the outset.

Understanding Drug Addiction

Clearly, a host of biological and behavioral factors conspires to trigger the oops phenomenon in drug addiction. So the widely held sentiment that drug addiction has to be explained from either the standpoint of biology or the standpoint of behavior, and never the twain shall meet, is terribly flawed. Biological and behavioral explanations of drug abuse must be given equal weight and integrated with each other if we are to gain an in-depth understanding of the root causes of drug addiction and then develop more effective treatments. Modern science has shown us that we reduce one explanation to the other -- the behavioral to the biological, or vice versa - at our own peril. We have to recognize that brain disease stemming from drug use cannot and should not be artificially isolated from its behavioral components, as well as its larger social components. They all are critical pieces of the puzzle that interact with and impact on one another at every turn.

A wealth of scientific evidence, by the way, makes it clear that rarely if ever are any forms of brain disease only biological in nature. To the contrary, such brain diseases as stroke, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, schizophrenia, and clinical depression all have their behavioral and social dimensions. What is unique about the type of brain disease that results from drug abuse is that it starts out as voluntary behavior. But once continued use of an addictive drug brings about structural and functional changes in the brain that cause compulsive use, the disease-ravaged brain of a drug user closely resembles that of people with other kinds of brain diseases.

It's also important to bear in mind that we now see addiction as a chronic, virtually life-long illness for many people. And relapse is a common phenomenon in all forms of chronic illness -- from asthma and diabetes, to hypertension and addiction. The goals of successive treatments, as with other chronic illnesses, are to manage the illness and increase the intervals between relapses, until there are no more.

About the author: Dr. Leshner is Director, National Institute of Drug Abuse, National Institutes of Health

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). How Casual Drug Use Leads to Addiction, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/articles/how-casual-drug-use-leads-to-addiction

Last Updated: June 28, 2016

Vitamin B1 (Thiamine)

Vitamin B1 aka thiamine may improve treatment with tricyclic antidepressants. Thiamine may also help in treating Alzheimer's Disease. Learn about the usage, dosage, side-effects of vitamin B1.

Vitamin B1 aka thiamine may improve treatment with tricyclic antidepressants. Thiamine may also help in treating Alzheimer's Disease. Learn about the usage, dosage, side-effects of vitamin B1.

Overview

Vitamin B1, also called thiamine, is one of eight water-soluble B vitamins. All B vitamins help the body to convert carbohydrates into glucose (sugar), which is "burned" to produce energy. These B vitamins, often referred to as B complex vitamins, are essential in the breakdown of fats and protein. B complex vitamins also play an important role in maintaining muscle tone along the wall of the digestive tract and promoting the health of the nervous system, skin, hair, eyes, mouth, and liver.

Similar to some other B complex vitamins, thiamine is considered an "anti-stress vitaimin" because it is believed to enhance the activity of the immune system and improve the body's ability to withstand stressful conditions.

Thiamine is found in both plants and animals and plays a crucial role in certain metabolic reactions, particularly, as mentioned, the conversion of carbohydrates (starches) into energy. For example, thiamine is essential during exercise, when energy expenditure is high.

Thiamine deficiency is rare, but tends to occur in people who get most of their calories from sugar or alcohol. Individuals with thiamine deficiency have difficulty digesting carbohydrates. As a result, a substance called pyruvic acid builds up in the bloodstream, causing a loss of mental alertness, difficulty breathing, and heart damage. In general, thiamine supplements are primarily used to treat this deficiency known as beriberi.

 


 



Vitamin B1 Uses

Beriberi
The most important use of thiamine is in the treatment of beriberi, a condition caused by a deficiency of thiamine in the diet. Symptoms include swelling, tingling or burning sensation in the hands and feet, confusion, difficulty breathing (from fluid in the lungs), and uncontrolled eye movements (called nystagmus).

Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome
Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome is a brain disorder caused by thiamine deficiency. Replacing thiamine alleviates the symptoms of this syndrome. Wernicke-Korsakoff is actually two disorders in one: (1) Wernicke's disease involves damage to nerves in the central and peripheral nervous systems and is generally caused by malnutrition (particularly a lack of thiamine) associated with habitual alcohol abuse, and (2) Korsakoff syndrome is characterized by memory impairment with various symptoms of nerve damage. High doses of thiamine can improve muscle incoordination and confusion associated with this disease, but only rarely improves the memory loss.

Cataracts
Dietary and supplemental vitamin B2, along with other nutrients, is important for normal vision and prevention of cataracts (damage to the lens of the eye which can lead to cloudy vision). In fact, people with plenty of protein and vitamins A, B1, B2, and B3 (niacin) in their diet are less likely to develop cataracts. Plus, taking additional supplements of vitamins C, E, and B complex (particularly the B1, B2, B9 [folic acid], and B12 [cobalamin] in the complex ) may further protect the lens of your eyes from developing cataracts.

Burns
It is especially important for people who have sustained serious burns to obtain adequate amounts of nutrients in their daily diet. When skin is burned, a substantial percentage of micronutrients may be lost. This increases the risk for infection, slows the healing process, prolongs the hospital stay, and even increases the risk of death. Although it is unclear which micronutrients are most beneficial for people with burns, many studies suggest that a multivitamin including the B complex vitamins may aid in the recovery process.

Heart failure
Thiamine may be related to heart failure in two ways. First, low levels of thiamine may contribute to the development of congestive heart failure (CHF). On the flip side, people with severe heart failure can lose a significant amount of weight including muscle mass (called wasting or cachexia) and become deficient in many nutrients. It is not known whether taking thiamine supplements would have any bearing on the development or progression of CHF and cachexia. Eating a balanced diet, including thiamine, and avoiding things that deplete this nutrient, such as high amounts of sugar and alcohol, seems prudent, particularly for those at the early stages of CHF.

Other - Alzheimer's Disease
Some scientists have speculated that thiamine may have some benefit in treating Alzheimer's Disease. This theory is based on the effects that this nutrient has on the brain and the symptoms that people develop when deficient in thiamine. The studies on this subject to date are limited in number and inconclusive, however. Much more research would be needed before anything could be said regarding a possible use for thiamine in treating Alzheimer's Disease.

 

 


 


Vitamin B1 Dietary Forms

Limited quantities of thiamine can be found in most foods, but large amounts of this vitamin can be found in pork and organ meats. Other good dietary sources of thiamine include whole-grain or enriched cereals and rice, wheat germ, bran, brewer's yeast, and blackstrap molasses.

 


Vitamin B1 Available Forms

Vitamin B1 can be found in multivitamins (including children's chewable and liquid drops), B complex vitamins, or can be sold individually. It is available in a variety of forms including tablets, softgels, and lozenges. It may also be labeled as thiamine hydrochloride or thiamine mononitrate.

 


How to Take It Vitamin B1

As with all medications and supplements, check with a healthcare provider before giving vitamin B1 supplements to a child.

Daily recommendations for dietary vitamin B1 are listed below.

Pediatric

  • Newborns to 6 months: 0.2 mg (adequate intake)
  • Infants 7 months to 1 year: 0.3 mg (adequate intake)
  • Children 1 to 3 years: 0.5 mg (RDA)
  • Children 4 to 8 years: 0.6 mg (RDA)
  • Children 9 to 13 years: 0.9 mg (RDA)
  • Males 14 to 18 years: 1.2 mg (RDA)
  • Females 14 to 18 years: 1 mg (RDA)

Adult

  • Males 19 years and older: 1.2 mg (RDA)
  • Females 19 years and older: 1.1 mg (RDA)
  • Pregnant females: 1.4 mg (RDA)
  • Breastfeeding females: 1.5 mg (RDA)

 


Doses for conditions like beriberi and Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome are decided by a healthcare practitioner in an appropriate clinical setting. For Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, thiamine is administered by venous injection.

 


Precautions

Because of the potential for side effects and interactions with medications, dietary supplements should be taken only under the supervision of a knowledgeable healthcare provider.

Oral vitamin B1 is generally nontoxic. Stomach upset can occur at very high doses (much higher than the recommended daily amount).

Taking any one of the B complex vitamins for a long period of time can result in an imbalance of other important B vitamins. For this reason, it is generally important to take a B complex vitamin with any single B vitamin.

 


Possible Interactions

If you are currently being treated with any of the following medications, you should not use vitamin B1 without first talking to your healthcare provider.

Antibiotics, Tetracycline
Vitamin B1 should not be taken at the same time as the antibiotic tetracycline because it interferes with the absorption and effectiveness of this medication. Vitamin B1 either alone or in combination with other B vitamins should be taken at different times from tetracycline. (All vitamin B complex supplements act in this way and should therefore be taken at different times from tetracycline.)

Vitamin B1 and Tricyclic Antidepressant Medications
Taking vitamin B1 supplements may improve treatment with tricyclic antidepressants such as nortriptyline, especially in elderly patients. Other medications in this class of antidepressants include desimpramine and imipramine.

Chemotherapy
Although the significance is not entirely clear, laboratory studies suggest that thiamine may inhibit the anti-cancer activity of chemotherapy agents. How this will ultimately prove relevant to people is not known. However, it may be wise for people undergoing chemotherapy for cancer to not take large doses of vitamin B1 supplements.

Digoxin
Laboratory studies suggest that digoxin (a medication used to treat heart conditions) may reduce the ability of heart cells to absorb and use vitamin B1; this may be particularly true when digoxin is combined with furosemide (a loop diuretic).

Diuretics
Diuretics (particularly furosemide, which belongs to a class called loop diuretics) may reduce the levels of vitamin B1 in the body. In addition, similar to digoxin, furosemide may diminish the heart's ability to absorb and utilize vitamin B1, especially when these two medications are combined.

Scopolamine
Vitamin B1 may help reduce some of the side effects associated with scopolamine, a medication commonly used to treat motion sickness.

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Supporting Research

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Antoon AY, Donovan DK. Burn Injuries. In: Behrman RE, Kliegman RM, Jenson HB, eds. Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. Philadelphia, Pa: W.B. Saunders Company; 2000:287-294.

Bell I, Edman J, Morrow F, et al. Brief communication. Vitamin B1, B2, and B6 augmentation of tricyclic antidepressant treatment in geriatric depression with cognitive dysfunction. J Am Coll Nutr. 1992;11:159-163.

Boros LG, Brandes JL, Lee W-N P, et al. Thiamine supplementation to cancer patients: a double-edged sword. Anticancer Res. 1998;18:595 - 602.

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De-Souza DA, Greene LJ. Pharmacological nutrition after burn injury. J Nutr. 1998;128:797-803.

Jacques PF, Chylack LT Jr, Hankinson SE, et al. Long-term nutrient intake and early age-related nuclear lens opacities. Arch Ophthalmol. 2001;119(7):1009-1019.

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Leslie D, Gheorghiade M. Is there a role for thiamine supplementation in the management of heart failure? Am Heart J. 1996;131:1248 - 1250.

Lindberg MC, Oyler RA. Wernick's encephalopathy. Am Fam Physician. 1990;41:1205 - 1209.

Lubetsky A, Winaver J, Seligmann H, et al. Urinary thiamine excretion in the rat: effects of furosemide, other diuretics, and volume load [see comments]. J Lab Clin Med. 1999;134(3):232-237.

Meador KJ, Nichols ME, Franke P, et al. Evidence for a central cholinergic effect of high-dose thiamine. Ann Neurol. 1993;34:724-726.

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Rodriquez-Martin JL, Qizilbash N, Lopez-Arrieta JM. Thiamine for Alzheimer's Disease (Cochrane Review). Cochrane Database Syst Rev. 2001;2:CD001498.

Witte KK, Clark AL, Cleland JG. Chronic heart failure and micronutrients. J Am Coll Cardiol. 2001;37(7):1765-1774.

Zangen A, Botzer D, Zanger R, Shainberg A. Furosemide and digoxin inhibit thiamine uptake in cardiac cells. Eur J Pharmacol. 1998;361(1):151-155.

back to: Supplement-Vitamins Homepage

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Vitamin B1 (Thiamine), HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/alternative-mental-health/supplements-vitamins/vitamin-b1-thiamine

Last Updated: July 10, 2016

The Narcissist is Looking for a Family

I don't have a family of my own. I don't have children and marriage is a remote prospect. Families, to me, are hotbeds of misery, breeding grounds of pain and scenes of violence and hate. I do not wish to create my own.

Even as adolescent, I was looking for another family. Social workers offered to find foster families. I spent my vacations begging Kibbutzim to accept me as an underage member. It pained my parents and my mother expressed her agony the only way she knew how - by abusing me physically and psychologically. I threatened to have her committed. It was not a nice place, our family. But in its thwarted way, it was the only place. It had the warmth of a familiar disease.

My father always said to me that their responsibilities end when I am 18. But they couldn't wait that long and signed me to the army a year earlier, though at my behest. I was 17 and terrified witless. After a while, my father told me not to visit them again - so the army became my second, nay, my only home. When I was hospitalized for a fortnight with kidney disease, my parents came to see me only once, bearing stale chocolates. A person never forgets such slights - they go to the very core of one's identity and self-worth.

I dream about them often, my family whom I haven't seen for five years now. My little brothers and one sister, all huddled around me listening cravingly to my stories of fantasy and black humour. We are all so white and luminescent and innocent. In the background is the music of my childhood, the quaintness of the furniture, my life in sepia colour. I remember every detail in stark relief and I know how different it could all have been. I know how happy we could all have been. I dream about my mother and my father. A great vortex of sadness threatens to suck me in. I wake up suffocating.

I spent the first vacation in jail - voluntarily - locked up in a sizzling barrack writing a children's story. I refused to go "home". Everyone did, though - so, I was the only prisoner in jail. I had it all to myself and I was content in the quite manner of the dead. I was to divorce N. in a few weeks. Suddenly, I felt unshackled, ethereal. I guess that, at the bottom of it all, I do not want to live. They took away from me the will to live. If I allow myself to feel - this is what I overwhelmingly experience - my own non-existence. It is an ominous, nightmarish sensation which I am fighting to avoid even at the cost of forgoing my emotions. I deny myself three times for fear of being crucified. There is in me a deeply repressed seething ocean of melancholy, gloom and self-worthlessness awaiting to engulf me, to lull me into oblivion. My shield is my narcissism. I let the medusas of my soul be petrified by their own reflections in it.

 


 

next: The Magic of My Thinking

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 19). The Narcissist is Looking for a Family, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/the-narcissist-is-looking-for-a-family

Last Updated: July 2, 2018

My Woman and I (Narcissists and Women)

No woman has ever wanted to have a child with me. It is very telling. Women have children even with incarcerated murderers. I know because I have been to jail with these people. But no woman has ever felt the urge to perpetuate US - the we-ness of she and I.

I was married once and almost married twice but women are very hesitant with me. They definitely do not want anything binding. It is as though they want to maintain all routes of escape clear and available. It is a reversal of the prevailing myth about non-committal males and women huntresses.

But no one wants to hunt a predator.

It is an arduous and eroding task to live with me. I am atrabilious, infinitely pessimistic, bad-tempered, paranoid and sadistic in an absent-minded and indifferent manner. My daily routine is a rigmarole of threats, complaints, hurts, eruptions, moodiness and rage. I rail against slights true and imagined. I alienate people. I humiliate them because this is my only weapon against the humiliation of their indifference to me.

Gradually, wherever I am, my social circle dwindles and then vanishes. Every narcissist is also a schizoid, to some extent. A schizoid is not a misanthrope. He does not necessarily hate people - he simply does not need them. He regards social interactions as a nuisance to be minimized.

I am torn between my need to obtain narcissistic supply (the monopoly on which is held by human beings) - and my fervent wish to be left alone. This wish, in my case, is peppered with contempt and feelings of superiority.

There are fundamental conflicts between dependence and contempt, neediness and devaluation, seeking and avoiding, turning on the charm to attract adulation and being engulfed by wrathful reactions to the most minuscule "provocations". These conflicts lead to rapid cycling between gregariousness and self-imposed ascetic seclusion.

Such an unpredictable but always bilious and festering atmosphere is hardly conducive to love or sex. Gradually, both become extinct. My relationships are hollowed out. Imperceptibly, I switch to asexual co-habitation.

But the vitriolic environment that I create is only one hand of the equation. The other hand is the woman herself.

I am heterosexual, so I am attracted to women. But I am simultaneously repelled, horrified, bewitched and provoked by them. I seek to frustrate and humiliate them. Psychodynamically, I am probably visiting upon them my mother's sin - but I think such an instant explanation does the subject great injustice.

Most narcissists I know - myself included - are misogynists. Their sexual and emotional lives are perturbed and chaotic. They are unable to love in any true sense of the word - nor are they capable of developing any measure of intimacy. Lacking empathy, they are incapable of offering to the partner emotional sustenance.

I have been asked many times if I miss loving, whether I would have liked to love and if I am angry with my parents for crippling me so. There is no way I can answer these questions. I never loved. I do not know what is it that I am missing. Observing it from the outside, love seems to me to be a risible pathology. But I am only guessing.

I am not angry for being unable to love. I equate love with weakness. I hate being weak and I hate and despise weak people (and, by implication, the very old and the very young). I do not tolerate stupidity, disease and dependence - and love seems to encompass all three. These are not sour grapes. I really feel this way.

I am an angry man - but not because I never experienced love and probably never will. No, I am angry because I am not as powerful, awe inspiring and successful as I wish to be and as I deserve to be. Because my daydreams refuse so stubbornly to come true. Because I am my worst enemy. And because, in my unmitigated paranoia, I see adversaries plotting everywhere and feel discriminated against and contemptuously ignored. I am angry because I know that I am sick and that my sickness prevents me from realizing even a small fraction of my potential.

My life is a mess as a direct result of my disorder. I am a vagabond, avoiding my creditors, besieged by hostile media in more than one country, hated by one and all. Granted, my disorder also gave me "Malignant Self Love", the rage to write as I do (I am referring to my political essays), a fascinating life and insights a healthy man is unlikely to attain. But I find myself questioning the trade-off ever more often.

But at other times, I imagine myself healthy and I shudder. I cannot conceive of a life in one place with one set of people, doing the same thing, in the same field with one goal within a decades-old game plan. To me, this is death. I am most terrified of boredom and whenever faced with its haunting prospect, I inject drama into my life, or even danger. This is the only way I feel alive.

I guess all the above portrays a lonely wolf. I am a shaky platform, indeed, on which to base a family, or future plans. I know as much. So, I pour wine to both of us, sit back and watch with awe and with amazement the delicate contours of my female partner. I savor every minute. In my experience, it might well be the last.


 

next: Narcissist, the Machine

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 19). My Woman and I (Narcissists and Women), HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/my-woman-and-i-narcissists-and-women

Last Updated: July 2, 2018

Computer and Cyberspace Addiction

Does Internet addiction truly exist? Psychologists are debating the topic.

From Rider.edu ©

A heated debate is rising among psychologists. With the explosion of excitement about the internet, some people seem to be a bit too excited. Some people spend way too much time there. Is this yet ANOTHER type of addiction that has invaded the human psyche?

Psychologists are not even sure yet what to call this phenomenon. Some label it an "Internet Addiction Disorder." But many people are addicted to their computers long before the internet enters their lives. Some people are extremely attached to their computer and don't even care about the internet. Perhaps we should call the phenomenon a "Computer Addiction." Also, let's not forget the very powerful, but now seemingly mundane and almost accepted addiction that some people develop to video games. Video games are computers too... very single-minded computers, but computers nevertheless. Or how about telephones? People get addicted to those too, and not just the sex lines. Like computers, telephones are a technologically enhanced form of communication and may fall into the category of "computer mediated communication" (a.k.a., CMC) - as the researchers are dubbing internet activities. In the not too distant future, computer, telephone, and video technology may very well merge into one, perhaps highly addictive, beast.

Perhaps, on a broad level, it makes sense to talk about a "Cyberspace Addiction" - an addiction to virtual realms of experience created through computer engineering. Within this broad category, there may be subtypes with distinct differences. A teenager who plays hooky from school in order to master the next level of Donkey Kong may be a very different person than the middle aged housewife who spends $500 a month in AOL chat rooms - who in turn may be very different from the businessman who can't tear himself away from his finance programs and continuous internet access to stock quotes. Some cyberspace addictions are game and competition oriented, some fulfill more social needs, some simply may be an extension of workaholicism. Then again, these differences may be superficial.

Not many people are waving their fingers and fists in the air about video and work addictions. Not many newspaper articles are written about these topics either. They are passé issues. The fact that the media is turning so much attention to cyberspace and internet addictions may simply reflect the fact that this is a new and hot topic. It may also indicate some anxiety among people who really don't know what the internet is, even though everyone is talking about it. Ignorance tends to breed fear and the need to devalue.

Nevertheless, some people are definitely hurting themselves by their addiction to computers and cyberspace. When people lose their jobs, or flunk out of school, or are divorced by their spouses because they cannot resist devoting all of their time to virtual lands, they are pathologically addicted. These extreme cases are clear cut. But as in all addictions, the problem is where to draw the line between "normal" enthusiasm and "abnormal" preoccupation.

"Addictions" - defined very loosely - can be healthy, unhealthy, or a mixture of both. If you are fascinated by a hobby, feel devoted to it, would like to spend as much time as possible pursuing it - this could be an outlet for learning, creativity, and self-expression. Even in some unhealthy addictions you can find these positive features embedded within (and thus maintaining) the problem. But in truly pathological addictions, the scale has tipped. The bad outweighs the good, resulting in serious disturbances in one's ability to function in the "real" world. Almost anything could be the target of a pathological addiction - drugs, eating, exercising, gambling, sex, spending, working, etc. You name it, someone out there is obsessed with it. Looking at it from a clinical perspective, these pathological addictions usually have their origin early in a person's life, where they can be traced to significant deprivations and conflicts. They may be an attempt to control depression and anxiety, and may reflect deep insecurities and feelings of inner emptiness.

As yet, there is no official psychological or psychiatric diagnosis of an "Internet" or "Computer" addiction. The most recent (4th) edition of Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (aka, DSM-IV) - which sets the standards for classifying types of mental illness - does not include any such category. It remains to be seen whether this type of addiction will someday be included in the manual. As is true of any official diagnosis, an "Internet Addiction Disorder" or any similarly proposed diagnosis must withstand the weight of extensive research. It must meet two basic criteria. Is there a consistent, reliably diagnosed set of symptoms that constitutes this disorder? Does the diagnosis correlate with anything - are there similar elements in the histories, personalities, and future prognosis of people who are so diagnosed. If not, "where's the beef?" It's simply a label with no external validity.

So far, researchers have only been able to focus on that first criteria - trying to define the constellation of symptoms that constitutes a computer or internet addiction. Psychologist Kimberly S. Young at the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery (see the links at the end of this article) classifies people as Internet-dependent if they meet during the past year four or more of the criteria listed below. Of course, she is focusing specifically on internet addiction, and not the broader category of computer addiction:

  • Do you feel preoccupied with the Internet or on-line services and think about it while off line?
  • Do you feel a need to spend more and more time on line to achieve satisfaction?
  • Are you unable to control your on-line use?
  • Do you feel restless or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop your on-line use?
  • Do you go on line to escape problems or relieve feelings such as helplessness, guilt, anxiety or depression?
  • Do you lie to family members or friends to conceal how often and how long you stay online?
  • Do you risk the loss of a significant relationship, job, or educational or career opportunity because of your on-line use?
  • Do you keep returning even after spending too much money on on-line fees?
  • Do you go through withdrawal when off line, such as increased depression, moodiness, or irritability?
  • Do you stay on line longer than originally intended?



In what he intended as a joke, Ivan Goldberg proposed his own set of symptoms for what he called "Pathological Computer Use". Other psychologists are debating other possible symptoms of internet addiction, or symptoms that vary slightly from Young's criteria and Goldberg's parody of such criteria. These symptoms include:

  • drastic lifestyle changes in order to spend more time on the net
  • general decrease in physical activity
  • a disregard for one's health as a result of internet activity
  • avoiding important life activities in order to spend time on the net
  • sleep deprivation or a change in sleep patterns in order to spend time on the net
  • a decrease in socializing, resulting in loss of friends
  • neglecting family and friends
  • refusing to spend any extended time off the net
  • a craving for more time at the computer
  • neglecting job and personal obligations

On a listserv devoted to the cyberpsychology, Lynne Roberts (robertsl@psychology.curtin.edu.au) described some of the possible physiological correlates of heavy internet usage, although she didn't necessarily equate these reactions with pathological addiction:

  • A conditioned response (increased pulse, blood pressure) to the modem connecting
  • An "altered state of consciousness" during long periods of dyad/small group interaction (total focus and concentration on the screen, similar to a mediation/trance state).
  • Dreams that appeared in scrolling text (the equivalent of MOOing).
  • Extreme irritability when interrupted by people/things in "real life" while immersed in c-space.

In my own article on "addictions" to the Palace, a graphical MOO/chat environment, I cited the criteria that psychologists often use in defining ANY type of addiction. It's clear that the attempts to define computer and internet addiction draw on these patterns that are perhaps common to addictions of all types - patterns that perhaps point to deeper, universal causes of addiction:

  • Are you neglecting important things in your life because of this behavior?
  • Is this behavior disrupting your relationships with important people in your life?
  • Do important people in your life get annoyed or disappointed with you about this behavior?
  • Do you get defensive or irritable when people criticize this behavior?
  • Do you ever feel guilty or anxious about what you are doing?
  • Have you ever found yourself being secretive about or trying to "cover up" this behavior?
  • Have you ever tried to cut down, but were unable to?
  • If you were honest with yourself, do you feel there is another hidden need that drives this behavior?

If you're getting a bit confused or overwhelmed by all these criteria, that's understandable. This is precisely the dilemma faced by psychologists in the painstaking process of defining and validating a new diagnostic category. On the lighter side, consider some of the more humorous attempts to define internet addiction. Below is one list from The World Headquarters of Netaholics Anonymous. Although this is intended as humor, note the striking similarity of some of the items to the serious diagnostic criteria... There is a kernel of truth even in a joke:

Top 10 Signs You're Addicted to the Net

  1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
  2. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher."
  3. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
  4. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
  5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
  6. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
  7. You laugh at people with 2400-baud modems.
  8. You start using smileys in your snail mail.
  9. The last mate you picked up was a JPEG.
  10. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem.

You succeed.

There's also the intriguing epistemological dilemma concerning the researchers who study cyberspace addictions. Are they addicted too? If they indeed are a bit preoccupied with their computers, does this make them less capable of being objective, and therefore less accurate in their conclusions? Or does their involvement give them valuable insights, as in participant observation research? There's no simple answer to these questions.



next: Cybersex and Infidelity Online: Implications for Evaluation and Treatment
~ all center for online addiction articles
~ all articles on addictions

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Computer and Cyberspace Addiction, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/center-for-internet-addiction-recovery/computer-and-cyberspace-addiction

Last Updated: June 24, 2016

Narcissist, the Machine

I always think of myself as a machine. I say to myself things like "you have an amazing brain" or "you are not functioning today, your efficiency is low". I measure things, I constantly compare performance. I am acutely aware of time and how it is utilized. There is a meter in my head, it ticks and tocks, a metronome of self-reproach and grandiose assertions. I talk to myself in third person singular. It lends objectivity to what I think, as though it comes from an external source, from someone else. That low is my self-esteem that, to be trusted, I have to disguise myself, to hide myself from myself. It is the pernicious and all-pervasive art of unbeing.

I like to think about myself in terms of automata. There is something so aesthetically compelling in their precision, in their impartiality, in their harmonious embodiment of the abstract. Machines are so powerful and so emotionless, not prone to be hurting weaklings like me. Machines don't bleed. Often I find myself agonizing over the destruction of a laptop in a movie, as its owner is blown to smithereens as well. Machines are my folk and kin. They are my family. They allow me the tranquil luxury of unbeing.

And then there is data. My childhood dream of unlimited access to information has come true and I am the happiest for it. I have been blessed by the Internet. Information was power and not only figuratively.

Information was the dream, reality the nightmare. My knowledge was my flying info-carpet. It took me away from the slums of my childhood, from the atavistic social milieu of my adolescence, from the sweat and stench of the army - and into the perfumed existence of international finance and media exposure.

So, even in the darkness of my deepest valleys, I was not afraid. I carried with me my metal constitution, my robot countenance, my superhuman knowledge, my inner timekeeper, my theory of morality and my very own divinity - myself.

When N. left me, I discovered the hollowness of it all. It was the first time that I experienced my true self consciously. It was a void, annulment, a gaping abyss, almost audible, an hellish iron fist gripping, tearing my chest apart. It was horror. A transubstantiation of my blood and flesh into something primordial and screaming.

It was then that I came to realized that my childhood was difficult. At the time, it seemed to me to be as natural as sunrise and as inevitable as pain.

But in hindsight, it was devoid of emotional expression and abusive to the extreme. I was not sexually abused - but I was physically, verbally and psychologically tormented for 16 years without one minute of respite.

Thus, I grew up to be a narcissist, a paranoid and a schizoid. At least that's what I wanted to believe. Narcissists have alloplastic defences - they tend to blame others for their troubles. In this case, psychological theory itself was on my side. The message was clear: people who are abused in their formative years (0-6) tend to adapt by developing personality disorders, amongst them the narcissistic personality disorder. I was absolved, an unmitigated relief.

I want to tell you how much I am afraid of pain. To me, it is a pebble in Indra's Net - lift it and the whole net revives. My pains do not come isolated - they live in families of anguish, in tribes of hurt, whole races of agony. I cannot experience them insulated from their kin. They rush to drown me through the demolished floodgates of my childhood. These floodgates, my inner dams - this is my narcissism, there to contain the ominous onslaught of stale emotions, repressed rage, a child's injuries.

Pathological narcissism is useful - this is why it is so resilient and resistant to change. When it is "invented" by the tormented individual - it enhances his functionality and makes life bearable for him. Because it is so successful, it attains religious dimensions - it become rigid, doctrinaire, automatic and ritualistic. In other words, it becomes a PATTERN of behavior.

I am a narcissist and I can feel this rigidity as though it were an outer shell. It constrains me. It limits me. It is often prohibitive and inhibitive. I am afraid to do certain things. I am injured or humiliated when forced to engage in certain activities. I react with rage when the mental edifice supporting my disorder is subjected to scrutiny and criticism - no matter how benign.

Narcissism is ridiculous. I am pompous, grandiose, repulsive and contradictory. There is a serious mismatch between who I really am and what I really achieved - and how I feel myself to be. It is not that I THINK that I am far superior to other humans intellectually. Thought implies volition - and willpower is not involved here. My superiority is ingrained in me, it is a part of my every mental cell, an all-pervasive sensation, an instinct and a drive. I feel that I am entitled to special treatment and outstanding consideration because I am such a unique specimen. I know this to be true - the same way you know that you are surrounded by air. It is an integral part of my identity. More integral to me than my body.

This opens a gap - rather, an abyss - between me and other humans. Because I consider myself so special, I have no way of knowing how it is to be THEM.


 


In other words, I cannot empathize. Can you empathize with an ant? Empathy implies identity or equality, both abhorrent to me. And being so inferior, people are reduced to cartoonish, two-dimensional representations of functions. They become instrumental or useful or functional or entertaining - rather than loving or interacting emotionally. It leads to ruthlessness and exploitativeness. I am not a bad person - actually, I am a good person. I have helped people - many people - all my life. So, I am not evil. What I am is indifferent. I couldn't care less. I help people because it is a way to secure attention, gratitude, adulation and admiration. And because it is the fastest and surest way to get rid of them and their incessant nagging.

I realize these unpleasant truths cognitively - but there is no corresponding emotional reaction (emotional correlate) to this realization.

There is no resonance. It is like reading a boring users' manual pertaining to a computer you do not even own. It is like watching a movie about yourself. There is no insight, no assimilation of these truths. When I write this now, I feel like writing the script of a mildly interesting docudrama.

It is not I.

Still, to further insulate myself from the improbable possibility of confronting these facts - the gulf between reality and grandiose fantasy (the Grandiosity Gap, in my writings) - I came up with the most elaborate mental structure, replete with mechanisms, levers, switches and flickering alarm lights. My narcissism does two things for me - it always did:

    • Isolate me from the pain of facing reality
    • Allow me to inhabit the fantasyland of ideal perfection and brilliance.
    • These once-vital function are bundled in what is known to psychologists as my "False Self".

 


 

next: Looking for a Family

APA Reference
Vaknin, S. (2008, December 19). Narcissist, the Machine, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissist-the-machine

Last Updated: July 2, 2018

Causes of Sexual Problems in Women

female sexual problems

Many of our sexual problems and hang-ups that aren't caused physically (for example, through illness or injury) come from social conditioning - interaction with our peers as they talk about their sexual exploits, and exposure to sexual myths and fantasies in the media.

With better education, our expectations about many things in our lives - including sex - increase. Our partner expects more from us, we expect more from our partner; we see and read about sexual role models on billboards, television, movie screens and in magazines and popular novels.

We talk and hear more about sex - we know things about our friends and the famous, that we would never have contemplated hearing about even 20 years ago. This exposure to information is not necessarily a bad thing. It demonstrates that our society is feeling more relaxed about sex as a natural and enjoyable part of life. But having this information becomes a problem if we feel we can't compete with the sexual 'standards' that now abound.

There have been many changes over the last two decades in the way men and women relate to each other: women, quite rightly, expect more from men, women are encouraged to be more 'up-front' and men are encouraged to discover the 'feminine' side of their character. Both sexes find themselves conforming to or reacting against these new sets of standards. Gay activism has made it easier for homosexual and bisexual men and women to express their sexuality. The question is raised however - 'where do I fit in?'.

Many causes of sexual problems can be traced back to when we were young. A strict or deeply religious home life can make us feel embarrassed, shy or even afraid of thinking about or exploring sex and our bodies. Some people believe, mistakenly, that it is 'dirty' to derive pleasure from touching and feeling your own body, let alone someone else's. Others, particularly those who have been sexually abused, suppress sexual feelings or think about sex in a non-pleasurable way.

People whose sexual self-esteem is low approach sex with the feeling that they will not be good at it, or will not be able to give, or even experience, sexual pleasure. Many of us think too much during sex, rather than 'going with the flow' and allowing true sexual feelings to take over.


 


Sometimes our problems involve unresolved or pent-up anger, suspicions or guilt - are we sleeping with the right person? Are we cheating? Is our partner cheating? Am I good enough? Is he/she good enough?

Sexual problems within a relationship may also have non-sexual causes: worries about finance, children, problems at work - these difficulties need to be worked out before any sexual problems can be dealt with.

Some partners have non-complementary libidos - she 'wants it' all the time, he wants it occasionally - or vice versa. Some partners place unachievable expectations on the other partner - to come quickly and often, to enjoy every position, to 'lie there and take it', to do it at any hour, to do it better. Some people draw inappropriate comparisons between their partner and the sexual prowess of ex-lovers or even fantasy characters depicted in fiction or pornography.

There are some people whose sexual problem is that they think they have no sexual problems. They regard themselves as studs, good in bed; yet often they don't take the time to make sure their partner is enjoying the sexual experience, sex for them is a one-way street.

Nearly everyone experiences some form of sexual problem at some stage, but unresolved sexual problems and hang-ups can compound - one bad sexual encounter can amplify and affect another, until finally we may have fears about every potential sexual encounter and this fear can become a pattern.

Read more about the specific sexual problems women here.

next: Women and Orgasm

APA Reference
Staff, H. (2008, December 19). Causes of Sexual Problems in Women, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/sex/psychology-of-sex/causes-of-sexual-problems-in-women

Last Updated: April 9, 2016

Mind / Body Medicine for Treating Depression

Psychotherapy, esp cognitive behavioral therapy, is very effective for treating depression. Relaxation techniques and mindfulness meditation also help.

Psychotherapy, esp cognitive behavioral therapy, is very effective for treating depression. Relaxation techniques and mindfulness meditation also help.

Mind/body therapies and techniques that may be useful as a part of an overall treatment regimen for depression include:

Psychotherapy for Depression

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a type of psychotherapy in which individuals learn to identify and change distorted perceptions about themselves and adopt new behaviors to better cope with the world around them. This therapy is frequently considered the treatment of choice for people with mild to moderate depression, but it may not be recommended for those with severe depression. Studies of people with depression indicate that cognitive-behavioral therapy is at least as effective as antidepressants. Compared to those treated with antidepressants, people treated with cognitive-behavioral therapy demonstrated similar, or better, results and lower relapse rates.

Other therapeutic approaches that may be applied by a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker include:

  • Psychodynamic psychotherapy- based on Freud's theories about unresolved conflicts in childhood and depression as a grief process
  • Interpersonal therapy- acknowledges childhood roots of depression, but focuses on current problems contributing to depression; considered very effective treatment for depression
  • Supportive psychotherapy- nonjudgmental advice, attention, and sympathy; this approach may improve compliance with taking medication.

Relaxation

One study suggests that relaxation techniques, such as yoga and tai chi, may improve symptoms of depression in people with mild depression.

Meditation

Some researchers theorize that mindfulness meditation may prevent depression from recurring in people who once had the condition.

APA Reference
Gluck, S. (2008, December 19). Mind / Body Medicine for Treating Depression, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, October 8 from https://www.healthyplace.com/depression/articles/mind-body-medicine-for-treating-depression

Last Updated: October 15, 2019